Forestluv

I see trauma. He didn’t choose to kill 17 people. It could not have been prevented. It happened exactly as it was “supposed” to. Regarding the shooting. On one level it’s amazingly simple: a happening appeared. On another level its amazingly complex: the appearance involved an infinite amount of input.

@Miguel Oliveira Shamanic/holotropic breathing has been the most effective bodywork for me. It has revealed and released body memories and blockages/tension.

@StardewValley You are perceiving a relative truth as if it were an absolute truth. IME, this can run really deep and often includes ingrained thoughts and emotions. For me, it's been a process of gradual and continuous steps back to the point of awareness. The statement "The animal rights people are clearly the right ones, from my perspective." is a step deeper. The key is that you added the qualifier "from my perspective". The next step is to acknowledge: "The meat-eaters are clearly the right ones, from their perspective." The next step is to let go of the idea/feeling that "my perspective is more right than their perspective". Until then, you will likely be immersed in trying to convince yourself and others that you are more right and be filled with tension. (As I was for many years on this topic). If you can let go of your attachment to your perspective, you are simply left with two perspectives. With time, you might get curious and ask contemplative questions such as "WHY might someone have one perspective rather than another?". "What type of conditioning/input may have promoted the appearance of one of the perspectives?". Or. . . "these are only two perspectives. could there be other perspectives? What might those be"? Letting go includes both the mind and body. I was able to let go mentally before bodily. For a while, I was mentally OK with having a meal with a meat eater, yet my body still felt tension.

For me, it was important to let go of my conventional understanding of the terms. The conventional use of the term "everything" includes things outside of other things. Example: The house fire destroyed everything (in the house). In common language, we don't use the term "everything" to *really* mean everything. Rather, we mean every - thing (every individual thing) that we separate out from other things. Here, we mean every individual object inside the house. This is a very limited use of "everything" as it doesn't include any-thing outside of the house. If someone said "The house fire destroyed everything" - we assume this doesn't *really* mean everything. Just the every single thing in the house. When someone who is awakened to this uses the term "everything" it can seem odd because the listener has never heard it used in this context and has never themself used the term in this context. There has always been a limit to everything and one could conceive of some-thing outside of everything. Yet here, we really, really do mean everything. No limits. No "I like everything", "everything she cooks. . .". We mean everything with no limit or condition. If it really is everything, then all individual things are included in everything. ALL things are within everything. This is a radically different way to use the term. . . Here, there is no - thing (no individual thing) outside of every - thing. So, every-thing is no-thing. Now, the term "everything" doesn't make conventional sense, so some people may use other terms like absolute infinity rather than absolutely everything.

IME, intellectual affirmations like that are effective in mid-range psychedelic zones, yet completely useless when entering the ego death zone. Those concepts are reflective of an ego trying to gain security and comfort. As a person approaches ego death, all concepts and beliefs are stripped away, including the one you offered. When I was a novice, I clung to concepts, deep beliefs and identity. Ego death was a terrifying experience. There is no way to sugar-coat it for the ego. The idea that I was only temporarily leaving my self and would return after the trip was one of the last ideas to be stripped away during my 2nd Ayahuasca ceremony. When things got rough, I checked my watched and told myself "It will only last a few hours, just run out the clock". After hours of struggling for control, anxiety, insanity and panic - a shadow of the ego returned to tell me to hang on, hours had past and it must be winding down. There was a brief sense of relief as I looked again at my watch. Three minutes had past. Three minutes!. Then full-on panic appeared as I realized I "couldn't run out the clock". I had to completely surrender or go through a hellish struggle that would be experienced as DAYS - not hours.

5-meo-dmt report. 27mg plugged. I start to black out at 30mg, so I go slightly under. I layed on a yoga mat and let it happen. No resistance, smooth sailing. Slight body discomfort including a minor chest pain and elevated heart - which was slightly distracting. I did need to let go a bit of that. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been contemplating the nature of awareness. I seem to be stuck in the “observer plus object” stage. I’ve felt close to the “consciousness is everything” stage - yet I kept defaulting back to conceptual / intellectual mindspaces. Well, this trip gave some direct experience. I’ve had experience of observing oneness before, yet here there was no separate observer. Everything kept appearing from nothing. Yet, the appearances were within an infinite number of appearances. Thus, it wasn’t real in a sense. Different beings and animals would experience different appearances - yet underlying the appearances was a vast nothing, void - from which everything appeared as one form of an infinite number of possibilities. This feels sooo far advanced for my current stage. 5-meo is by far the strongest tool I’ve encountered. How can I integrate and anchor this into life. Meditate, contemplate on it? Do more 5-meo? I’m already starting to feel like my mind is trying to conceptualize it and that I’m losing the magnitude of it. A couple phrases I gained direct experience: deconstructing reality and rest in the awareness

@MrDmitriiV No technique will get you there. It’s not to be found in the future or in any place. There is no place to go. It’s waking up right now. The vast majority of people cannot fully wake up in one moment, so we use these techniques to relax the mind and allow for mini awakenings, or insights. Yet, they always happen now. Smoking a baked potato everyday with genuine humility to deepen your knowing of truth would be more beneficial than doing chakra work with a closed, stubborn mind. We are not building a bridge here. We are becoming aware of a conditioned mind and letting go, then letting go of more and more. There is then an expansion. If you resist expansion and cling and identify to contracted thoughts - you will stay contracted. If you are really serious about waking up, I suggest considering a psychedelic - it would blast through all these beliefs and identification with thoughts. But surrending for a mind clutching to logic, identity and beliefs can be quite unsettling.

@Cortex This looks alluring to me as well. I find something intriguing with many forms of bizarre.

@Chrissy j I group ego/self/personality/character/story all together. They are all so contracted inside an expansive space that I find it distracting to get bogged down in the minutia. I've had enlightening/awakenings of various qualities and depths. The ego/personality has always returned and there have been various levels of awareness of the ego/personality. It has been an ongoing process of de-personalization, which has included beliefs and deep-seeded perceptions (e.g. objects in space). At times, there is an "I AM" presence observing the character. At times the character is used as a "tool" to function in a relative world, then put back on the shelf. Just like tools come in handy to build a bridge. From an I AM/awareness perspective, there is no more attachment to an opinion than to a blade of grass. An opinion is simply an appearance and when examined closely, empty. Opinions/beliefs can be deeply embedded into the personality structure and it can take work over time unravel some of them. At least for me. Yet, the liberation is undeniable.

The ego is no more attainable than the images appearing on a movie screen.

Over a year old and only 79 views?!

If most people are observant, they would have security and comfort at the top.

Cortex ventures deep into a conceptual Vortex.

Realize you are whole and conplete in this, and every, moment just the way it is - however it is.

Beginner mind, Zen mind

@SoonHei For me, an initial stage was to observe thoughts and realize I am not a thought. There is something aware of the thought. Yet, this awareness is no-thing. It is not any particular thing, so not a thing. My current stage is getting to know that awareness. Awakened beings I’ve listened to suggest the next stage is a realization that consciousness/awareness is everything. There is no separation. My mind likes to intellectualize it as a concept, yet I don’t experience it in my direct experience. I see me here and the table over there. I’ve found vision is overwhelmingly object-space oriented. However, I’ve found sound is MUCH weaker at this. For me, this has been a next step after I’ve had the witnessing of thoughts. The realization came with a bird chirp, yet works for any sound. One day while meditating, with my eyes closed, a thought arose in my mind and I obseved it. Then something else (a sound) arose in my mind and I observed it. Prior to giving either of them any meaning, I noticed both appearances were remarkably similar. Like *really* similiar. I saw how my brain was conditioned to define the appearance as a bird chirp that occurrd outside of my self. Yet in my direct experience, the appearance of the thought and chirp were both in awareness. There was no inside vs outside. When I let go and just observed the two appearances, it’s hard to observe differences. I need to *add* on meaning / identification to create the experience of relevance and separation. In a relative, personal world, thoughts about my career, life purpose, ethics etc will seem to have more relevance than a trivial bird chirp. Yet, if I really get down to their substance I sense something else. I can enter this space only with sounds and my eyes closed in meditation. Vision has a much deeper object - space orientation.

A lot of communication is beyond the words. Tone of voice, subtle facial expressions and body language factor in more than the words. One could ask a question with genuine curiosity and a desire to connect with someone. One could ask the exact same question with condensation and a desire to be superior than another. I’ve found if I speak from my heart things tend to flow ok - even if I speak a bit awkwardly at times

Or, you could be creating a story in a timeline. Another view: one moment you experience love another moment you experience hate. Add in some memories, imagination, beliefs, and social conditioning and one could create lots of different stories. Life can be read and interpreted many ways.

One moment while meditating I realized a thought that appeared had no more relevance than a bird chirp that appeared. Afterwards, it became easier to let go of grasping thoughts

Great report, thanks. 5-meo-dmt experiences can vary depending on dose, mindset and setting.

Or drop everything and allow life to flow.

A week? Did you spend time learning the Kriya techniques that come prior to the chakra work? Or did you rush into the chakras? I’m two weeks into daily Kriya and still practicing the first few lessons as described in the book (that come before chakra). There is a lot of breathing and concentration practice prior to the chakra work.

I know I am observing when a thought has no more relevance than a bird chirp

@Chrissy j For me, the personality structure runs deep. Being aware and letting go of beliefs has been part of the process, yet it goes deeper. Emotions run deeper than beliefs. I’ve found it helpful to learn/understand my conditioned mind-body

I question if that’s true