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Everything posted by Igor82

  1. 2019-12-20 Im so happy to be home! Thank you for the good food Thank you Serena for your wonderful company Im so grateful for having only focused on introspection today Thank you Lord, for the exquisite insights! Im grateful that mom is happy Im grateful for the advice I have received from dad Im so grateful to have touched the piano this evening Im soo grateful for having talked to Eleonor 2 times today. Im grateful for her wisdom and for how that helps me see what within me I have to change. Im so grateful for her love, im grateful for all the thoughts I have of her Im extremely grateful for the wonderful insight I got today, that when I am with Eleonor, I shall be with her fully in the moment, rather than trying to hide some part of me trough logical thinking about my ideals of giving love to her. Those ideals are what hinders me from fully being with her, and she feels that. If I want to be with her, it should align with my purpose. Otherwise, I can't. But when I decide to be with her, I will give her all of me, and the happier I am, the more amazing it will be for both of us Thank you, bartender, for cutting up my pineapples Thank you, random stranger, for giving me a few puffs of that joint with some gooood shit Thank you Serena for buying me a bottle of vodka, and for leading me through the city so we wouldn't miss the bus Thank you Will for being so awesome Thank you for the love Im grateful that kept my desire to learn trough today, as that showed me so much about what I can do to grow, it showed me many of my weaknesses. Im grateful for having meditated on the bus Thank you for the music! Im so grateful for the experience I have had with Copenhagen and the insights that has provided Im actually grateful for having had the experience today of being picked out by the Swedish police customs to be searched for illegal drugs, and at that point, I was super grateful to have not brought any drugs with me It was my first time and that was an interesting experience. Thank you for the love Thank you for my home!! Thank you for the good food! Thank you Gothenburg for being such an awesome city to return to I just love it all right now, im so grateful for my clarity of purpose Im so grateful for my growth Im grateful to be home to be able to write this! Wow, I have missed this so much haven't I? Thank you for reading
  2. Yes, its important to not think about porn all the time. What worked for me is indentifying what needs im satisfying with porn. For me it is: A sense of connection and a fulfillment of my need for physical touch An intimate moment with the feminine essence To see and relate to how the feminine moves to ecstasy An easy attempt to have a spiritual experience The trick is to not focus on quitting porn, but rather focus on satisfying your needs that porn is currently satisfying for you. Experiment! Go to some tantra yoga event and do some physical touch with people or some eyegazing, and see if that cools you off. For me Ive met an amazing woman that satisfies all of my needs above, and so I dont feel the need to watch porn anymore. And if I do watch porn, its because im deficent in these needs, and if I relapse, thats okay, because I know that if I just satisfy these needs I will not think about porn! We are not wired to watch porn. I believe that if we satisfy all those needs that makes us crave sexual satisfaction then we will not crave to ejaculate or watch porn, furthermore I believe that ejaculation for men is a conscious choise and not a need. Just as giving your greatest gifts to the world is your conscious choice and not your need. What also helps for me is to practise some taoist techniques, that will give you a way out of having to ejaculate all the time. Get out there, find a girl, or get your needs met in some other healthy way. Remember, if you are still thinking about porn, you wont be able to quit it, those thoughts will attract porn sooner or later. And those thoughts will only go away if your needs that porn currently fills is satisfied in another (healthy) manner.
  3. @modmyth Thanks! @Raptorsin7 Its more like a practise to chrystalize all the nice things that has happend during the day, and this makes me more able to connect to gratefulness, express gratefulness and be more satisfied. But I did start out feeling really happy about life, and craving to start a journal like this to not waste the benefits. Its more like I practise feeling grateful for the little things, so I try to remember all the good things about my day and then apply the gratefulness to those things, but im not gonna write down a thing that im not grateful for. I really feel grateful for some of the things that I write down, and some other things less. I generally try to stretch out the feeling of gratefulness as long as possible and apply that feeling to as much as possible when I do the journaling, so with this journal, gratitude is something I activly try to feel more of rather than trying to be honest about ”did I really feel grateful for the breakfast I ate this morning when I ate it?” I just try to look back on my day and try my best to feel as grateful as possible for what happend during that day. For me, its about feeling as grateful as possible. And it works! Its makes me feel more grateful about the things that happen during the day when they happen aswell, and thats the real benefit.
  4. 2019-12-16 Im grateful to be in Copenhagen Im grateful for having met Will Im grateful for the compliments Will gave me today Im grateful for having gone to the Barchetta class Im grateful for having danced with all the girls at the Barchetta class Im grateful to have had the change to observe the beautiful Barchetta that everyone danced at the bar, especially that expert guy in the yellow t-shirt Im thankful for the free food I got from those two women Im grateful for having laughed so hard with Serena at Nils Ericsson Im grateful for my passport photo having been so good Im grateful for having had that conversation with those Christians just now Im grateful for the outwordly wonderful texts I got from Eleonor Im so grateful for the call I made with Eleonor and im grateful for every word we talked about Im grateful for loving Eleonor so much! Im grateful for staying in such a nice Hostel here in Copenhagen Im grateful for the potato meal I ate at lunchtime Im grateful for having slept enough Im grateful for having felt so incredibly confident in my ability to communicate with people today Im grateful for the humor Thank you for the food Thank you Serena for the help Thank you brain for coming up with clever solutions Thank you Eleonor for telling me that you love me unconditionally! Im grateful for the love I feel Im grateful for the problems that I need to solve Im grateful for having had such a smooth morning Im grateful for the wonderful bus ride to Denmark Im grateful to see such a beautiful city!! Im grateful for the lettuce Will bought me today Im grateful for taking my time to write this down Im so grateful for my future, for my consciousness and for all of this! Thank you lord for blessing me with such a sweet life! Thank you for the wisdom Thank you for the reassurance Thank you for the compliments, thank you for the sentiments Thank you for the dates I ate this morning Thank you mom for making me smile, thank you for smiling Thank you Eleonor for your wisdom Im grateful for the almond milk I tasted today Im grateful for having got such a good service from the bartender at that certain place Im grateful for having had such a sweet conversation with those women and girls at the bars Im so grateful for having settled down in Copenhagen like this, feeling safe and secure Thank you for tomorrow Thank you for the art.
  5. 2019-12-12 Im grateful to have met dad today Im grateful for the laughs we had in the glasögon shop Im grateful to have hung out with Serena and to have such quality time with her Im grateful to have played on a grand piano today Im grateful to have learned what a grand piano entails for technique Im grateful to have met Olle today Im grateful for the email I sent to Eleonor today and for the time I invested in writing that. Im grateful for having felt so wise after writing that email, thank you for letting me know that im really intelligent! Im grateful for my social courage to interact with people the way I want to Im grateful for having such an amazing mother Im grateful for the powerful words that mother said about school this morning, and im grateful that those words seemed to come from her heart rather than her anger Im grateful to anticipate a call from/to Eleonor right now Im grateful the guided wim-hof breathing session I did tonight Im grateful for the wonderful food I ate as I came home Im grateful to have resolved the emotional knots I had between Olle Im grateful for the walkthrough of instruments and technical stuff I had at Arena29 today Im grateful for getting more intimate with my weaknesses, knowing that I need to hone my skills of time management and circadian rythm. Im grateful for the full moon Im grateful to think of Eleonor and the wisdom she gave me about the full moon and letting go Im grateful for having Olle seeking wisdom from me Im thankful that I have such confidence to realize that its not about how you look, but how comfortable you are with how you look! Im grateful for the ambient music I hear right now Im grateful to have practiced being disciplined in the morning Im grateful for having practiced playing fantasie impromptu correctly on the grand piano! Im grateful that we came into the practice room so smoothly! Im grateful for the call I had with Älva today Im grateful to feel confident in the face that I will share the detail to Älva of how I've lost my virginity with Eleonor Im grateful to be able to find so many things to be grateful for on a day I would call "bad" Im grateful for having eaten protein yesterday! I feel so good! Im grateful for having managed to take such a smooth cold shower! Im grateful for practicing being vulnerable like this, getting better at letting go of certain filters in my gratefulness writing Thank you for my room, thank you for all the opportunities Thank you for the honey, thank you for the food! Thank you for the water Im grateful to have fulfilled my social needs Im grateful to be so willing to be strong and not give up on my ambitions Im grateful for tomorrow Im grateful that im one day closer to meet Eleonor Im grateful to learn so much during these days Im grateful for my willingness to make it better for myself Im grateful for my needs Im so grateful to feel inspired that 5meo thread on the forum! Im grateful to intuit that I will soon also have such a breakthrough Im grateful for having the calling to trip on LSD with Eleonor Im grateful to feel like my values list is so accurate! Im grateful for those tiny moments where I feel like the world is so beautiful Thank you for the hardship, thank you for the desires. Im grateful to know that im growing, and that im willing to grow and wont stop until ive reached the stars and above. Im grateful to stand naked before you all. Thank you for your wisdom Im grateful for having such beautiful things around me! Such beautiful people, such beautiful opportunities. Thank you. Thank you! Im grateful for having done a little bit of the school work. Im grateful to feel certain about what I want to do next Im thankful for all the saxy ladies I saw on the streets today Im thankful to have written this post like this, to feel more comfortable with being consistent and staying vulnerable. Im so grateful for the relationship I have with Eleonor and how that is changing me day by day! How the universe has surrounded me with such amazing people, has given me so much amazing ideas. Thank you! Thank you! Im grateful for how I feel right now. Thank you for the love.
  6. 2019-12-11 Im grateful for having met up with my friends today I am grateful for having observed those friends trying to neurotically kill time, that was ugly but insightful I am grateful for being able to write such a long email to Eleonor concerning my feelings, thus breaking out the expectations we put on our email communication I am grateful for the wonderful food I cooked today Im grateful for the exercise I did today I am grateful for having has such a nice shopping experience with Bananmannen I am grateful to have had such an inspiring nightmare last night I am grateful for my inspiration for waking up early tomorrow to see the sun I am grateful that mom had softer feelings today Im greatful for the inspiration I drew from the music video I saw posted on the forum today, and how I can make the same stuff only if I work on it! Im grateful that I committed to learning more about Ableton I am grateful that I made a nice song with my friends Thank you for the wonderful cooking experience I had with my sister today Im grateful for the Glögg Serena gave me Im grateful to be living in such a nice room Im grateful to realize more of what I want to do in life and why Im not motivated to do school Im grateful for my willingness to pursue energy and productivity! Im grateful for having my needs met by Eleonor Im grateful of knowing that Eleonor thinks about me Im grateful for my courage of being able to be vulnerable to the forum like this Im grateful that Eleonor confirmed that its okay that I mention her name in this journal Im thankful for the thoughts I have of how sweet the future will be Thank you lord for the music! Im so grateful for the wonderful meditation session I had this morning with Synctuition Im grateful that I met Serena on the bus, im grateful for the laughs we shared on the bus and how that felt like we were making peoples days Thank you Eleonor for the wonderful emails! Thank you Serena for the help today! Thank you for the love, thank you for the inspiration, thank you for the luck and thank you for the creativity. Im grateful to have a bed to sleep on Im grateful to have a food to cook Im grateful for my ability to run Im grateful for my ability to see Im grateful that I see how im more vulnerable and thankful in my daily life Thank you Eleonor for the inspiration you give me to be more energetic and productive! Im grateful of the strategies I think of for having a better relationship with Eleonor Im grateful for knowing that sharing my honest thoughts and emotions with Eleonor is the best way for me to feel free and give love Im so grateful for the future! Im so grateful to think of the future and to almost cry by knowing how sweet its gonna be with my relationship with Eleonor and my road to achieve my dreams. Im so grateful for all Ive got in my life, im grateful for being wise enough to be grateful for all the good things I have in my life. Thank you lord for this life! May I be able to give back in the future <3 Im so grateful for being able to feel this grateful Thank you Leo for your wisdom Thank you universe for the amazing relationship I have with this amazing woman called Eleonor! I feel like the luckiest guy in the world Im grateful for having written this post. Im grateful for having broken through into gratefulness today, to have broken through into vulnerability by writing this post knowing that people will read it. Thank you mom for the food, shelter, love, hugs, security, time and motivation. I love you! Ahh, I love all of you!
  7. Yes, it is. If you eat 6000 calories of fruits every day then you will meet your protein needs just fine... And some people do it! Like this guy: Here is a good video about the topic:
  8. 2019-12-10 I grateful for the nice conversations I have had with Eleonor trough email today I am grateful for being around my sister and getting insights about myself from that I am grateful for the food mom cooked for me today Im grateful for the delicious sauce I made Im grateful for the beautiful improvisations I made on the piano today Im grateful for the effects of the Modafinil I took this morning, I like that is was so nice and it made me so productive. Im grateful to discover the nice potential of Modainil Im super grateful that I went for a run this evening! It made me feel so good as I stayed home working the whole day! Im grateful for my willingness to go home and chose sleep over roaming around the city I am grateful for the salad I ate eysterday I am grateful for the good sleep I had I am greatful for the super funny stuff I came up with my sister today Thanks for making me able to see my sister in a different way after she has come back Im grateful for having watched Yes-theory today and that it inspires me to go and take ice baths with Eleonor! Im grateful for the sweet thought I have about Eleonor Im grateful for the stamina I had during the run Im grateful for having seen Martins cool headphones Im grateful that Martin asked me what was on my heart Im grateful for the Psytrance that my sister showed me Im grateful that I did the math homework Im grateful that I feel capable of doing the rest of the school work Im grateful for my room being so beautiful Im grateful for feeling such positive vibes when revisiting the forum Im grateful for having started this gratefulness journal Thank you lord for the good food, for the nice thoughts about Eleonor Thank you lord for giving me such nice creativity yestesday that made me write that poem Thank you for the tears, for the music, thank you for the love Thank you for the struggle, thank you for the strength Thank you lord that when I look in the mirror I can see such a beautiful face Im grateful that I feel so smart Im grateful that my sister will leave the house tomorrow Im grateful for having many social options Im grateful for realizing my weaknesses, im thankful for discovering that im able to be disciplined Thank you the universe for having paired me with this wonderful woman, I wouldnt have it any other way Im grateful for the inspiration I felt to start woking out again Im grateful for feeling so grateful. Im grateful that I have so much to be grateful for! Thank you for the water, the energy, thank you for my abilities. Thank you for the flow! Thank you for the wonderful thoughts of opportunities to make money the way I want to Im grateful for having watered my flowers this morning Im grateful for having been brave enough to take a cold shower Im grateful that I now know what writing like this feels like, and im grateful experiencing how it feels to attempt full transparency Thank you for the confidence. Thank you for tomorrow. I love you! Thank you thank you! Thank you for life!! Thank you for my capacities. Thank you lord for these wonderful memories, thank you reality for being so sweet!! Im grateful for having Grammarly correct my spelling
  9. A package of fresh dates. It gives you the energy you need in a healthy way and it's compact and very quick if you can find some. That's how I do it. Easy: you can make nice meals out of canned corn, just take that corn and mix it into a bowl with whatever you would put onto your sandwich. It gives you a little better nutritional value than bread while it isn't that dry, just carry around some cans of corn and store the additives in some other container. You can also mix in some olives. Corn benefits from being canned as that's the only way you can store it without having to pre-boil it, as when corn ripens it turns the sugars into starch, but canned corn is fresh and delicious! No gluten, raw & more fiber! Aim for highest quality corn, but I think ordinary canned corn is still a better replacement for wheat
  10. One thing is to experiment with being able to relate to your polar essence's direct experience. For example, when Im high on weed im much better at relating, to things, to people, molding my experience into something that I think they are feeling, and so I went and watched porn (classic weed activities) to soon find out that if I don't jerk off my mind goes crazy with sexual energy, and I was able to think up and strongly relate to how the woman was feeling in that certain sex scenario. I kind of project the feeling of being filled up with love and joy as I've read that that is what women feel during sex, I projected the feeling of being penetrated, and then I could resonate with her desires, how she would enjoy being dominated, how certain woman fetishes actually fits in with what I relate that she is feeling... its crazy, but as a man, you resonate with it because a part of you is a woman. And then when I have sex its easier for me to predict what she would enjoy - of course, based on what she has enjoyed from me previously but also what I think she would enjoy based on how I have related to the feeling of being a woman during sex. Like, she may like that you are pulling her hair or pinning her down, but why does she like that? And why does she like the unpredictability? Dont mix logic into this, think of yourself as a woman then feel it. Action: Watch some healthy porn, don't jack off as that eliminates your ability to fantasize, and then try to relate to how the woman feels. Or just don't watch the porn, and then its easier tp actually think of how you would look like as the sexy woman version of yourself, and go with that. Hope this helps, I got jealous of Serotoninluv getting called a sex god so I wanted to share my unique thoughts...
  11. I think that conscious women are the most beautiful, because they are aware of the fact that what makes them inherently beautiful also makes them feel really good, or vice versa. You wouldn't eat unhealthy food if you were conscious of how it affects you while you strive to feel as good as possible, aka as conscious as possible - to a certain point
  12. 4 am to sleep, 2 pm waking up, and it has become a bad habit... Oh boy.
  13. @Tiny Nietzsche I think you need to dig deeper about piano and then think broader about the new ideas you got when thinking deeper. Why piano, why not guitar? What is it that you love about the piano? Do you want to create music or be very good at playing other's music? Do you like the instrument itself or the music it can create? What is it that you love the most about this very broad field of mastery called piano? Can you condense what you love the most about piano and channel it into something else?
  14. Amazing! Great share!! Thank you! Its also insightful to read the comments under that video
  15. How is love synonymous with actuality? How is love synonymous with the colors I see? I can't seem to collapse this boundary For me, my imagination proves to be a powerful tool in expanding love, just like the demonstration in the "what is love?" video. How far can I use my imagination and visualization to magnify and expand love? Can I break through into absolute love by solely using my mind and thoughts as a tool to achieve that?
  16. I'm a frequent weed user, most of the time I smoke with the intent of learning, experimentation and to explore spiritual insights. Weed can definitely be used for spiritual purposes but it's definitely not as potent as other classic psychedelics unless you take enough of it with breaks in between (5 days). I tend to use cannabis to subtly change my perception of reality, I smoke it frequently in threshold doses, and I'm being very picky with the strains. It takes me several months to smoke a batch of ~5 grams all by myself. Depending on the strain and what you do when you use it, cannabis will be addictive. If you use it to escape your problems then you will get cravings much faster than if you use it for spiritual purposes. What makes weed addictive IMO is that it can easily become a certain role in your life if you use it to escape you will get hooked much quicker than if you use it for spiritual purposes. You can use weed for productivity as well, a threshold dose of weed takes me deeper into meditation and makes me more musically creative, but see, that's exactly how it becomes a part of your life and then its quite hard to stop. What's fundamentally addictive is not the weed itself, but the opportunity to instantly subtly change sober perception without harm and commitment of emotional labor. The rest of its addictive potential lies in how you use it and what you use it for.
  17. Loren Lockman - A very satisfying man to watch with great ideas about health, he is a fasting & health expert and he makes incredibly much sense! Im warmly recommending him as I have followed his ideas about health for a long time and I feel greater than ever! Sweet Natural Living - A channel mainly narrated by a Norwegian runner than has traveled the world and has fallen in love with the fruitarian diet as it makes him feel the best. If you want to find health trough fruits then I recommend following Sweet Natural Living primarily, because his ideas can be easily implemented and applicable for most poeple. He makes alot of sense and gives crucial tips on how to sustain yourself on the fruitarian diet on of them being -in paragraph-: "Eat alot! Eat more (of the foods he recommends) than you can handle when starting out on the diet because otherwise you will not get enough calories and you will lose waight and become sick. You need to at least eat 10 bananas for breakfast!"
  18. Please consider this idea; I will describe an amazing artful simulation: I'll explain some of the following terms further down in the post Headphones and VR required Visuals: Virtual reality + Stereogram effect + Eye pov effect Sensory: The audio is shaped in such a way that it spawns sensations in the body (just like Asmr) Audio: 3D binaural audio Music ties into all of this: It's expressing love while being the lead interconnector of the auditory, sensory, and visual experience. The music is shaping the visuals which in turn shapes where the music is coming from in the binaural audio landscape, and from that comes the sensations felt. All of this combined will greatly increase consciousness of the experiencer while deeply spawning the intense emotions represented. How this works: Experiencing such a simulation would subjectively draw one away from “fantasizing a scenario while listening to music” to “actually being in the TRUTH of the experience rather than in fantasies.” VR acts like a big screen to achieve a total FOV Eye pov = the experiencer cannot move his eyes around! Because for it to be genuinely subjective the vision has to stay in the middle to replicate what you actually see with the eyes (have you noticed that your sight always is "in the middle"?). This effect requires that the listeners focus their eyes to neutralize a stereogram in front of them (2 layers merging into 1) and that makes their eyes stay relatively still and focused on one place, and then the animation will move around as if it looked like the FOV is subjectively moving around. It will be intuitive, so the viewer will react to it coming closer and thus changing the eyes. The experiencer will sit as still as possible to avoid distraction. The sensory input will greatly raise consciousness if committed focus upon, just like how foreign sensory input makes you alert. 1. Imagine this music of this video: 2. In combination with the auditory space & physical sensations of this video: 3. In further combination with a stereogram experience like this video (that is in full FOV with the help of a VR headset to make the FOV all-encompassing rather than quite small): In this simulation, the audio takes the lead over the visuals because it can spawn visuals in your imagination but not the other way around. So the visuals dances with the music - representing all of its depth and pointing the viewer towards love by deeply choreographically interconnecting with the music to further raise the consciousness and emotion the music initially represents. All of this within a binaural auditory field so that physical sensation will be spawned - thus even further interconnecting the sensory stimuli to deepen the emotions and consciousness, just like 10 to the power of 3, or like something being much larger than the sum of its parts. This will require great music and great animation to actualize, beyond anything seen ever so far. The music & animation has to come from a place of very deep [insert emotion] and be masterfully expressed to capture that emotion and express it-very rare these days. But the song listed above (Coldplay-Paradise) is an example of that expanding feeling that will be animated and felt in actuality rather than imagination. Keep in mind that certain music can only match with certain visuals. Extra: This, being experienced in a sensory deprivation tank and/or on psychedelics This, even further combined to include the sense of taste. Interesting eh? ... The cutting edge of art
  19. I was at an outside party where there was alot of people. This party is traditionally held by a nearby high school which I attended. Usually on these parties I try to talk to as many people as possible, to be social and to push myself, to always be talking with someone. Otherwise I would just prefer to observe all the poeple from a corner and that makes me feel weak in my abilities. I sometimes drink a little because that enhances my desire to talk with people enthusiastically. Approaching girls in such conditions is not a problem, maintaining a conversation is not a problem. Today I met a quality girl, 8.5, she was into mediation and visualization and we would quickly go on to have deeper conversations, although she was a little drunk. In the conversations I desired to go deeper than just talk but I felt limited in my unexperienced abilities of getting more physical with the girl, as I felt like that would be the next step towards sealing the deal (correct me if im wrong). What are some ways to get more physical with a girl, any practises? What’s that psychology behind it? Does it matter if she’s drunk or not? Important topic. Thanks in advance.
  20. The time has come for me to put this journal on the backburner. I created this journal with the intentions of being an accountability journal for a 180 day long NoNut challenge with the expectation that I would be able to carry through this challenge without failure (due to my firm belief that this journal would solve my PMO problem). I wanted to make a journal that would put some of my skin in the game as I tried to write every single day with total honesty on how the challenge was going, and this was supposed to push me through the threshold guardian I felt were holding me back. This journal, the solution to all my problems, coming as a neat package of accountability, journaling, learning about myself, loads of insights, and inspiration for other people - well... Because of this journal, I have disproved for myself the need for accountability to succeed in this challenge, and I have disproven success without failure. Trough this journal, I have come to realize the real solution for pushing through the threshold guardian, which is an entirely different solution than this journal was meant to be: Trough this journal I have come realize that my vision and my life purpose is what should be pursued to solve my NoFap issues indirectly, firstly because directly solving my "issues" is not gonna lead me to a higher place, and secondly because my life purpose is dependent on my capacity to transcend these limiting addictions in general, which makes my actions towards my life purpose contain the intent of transcending these addictions. I previously wrote in this journal how I could only choose one between my life purpose and my addictions, and I choose my life purpose. As the fundamental motivations of this journal got disarmed, I have stopped enjoying posting here as much as I initially did. And now I can only motivate myself to write in this journal to keep this journal from dying - to validate some part of my self-image - and to keep my readers satisfied. When I sit down to write in this journal, I have nothing more about the NoFap journey to write about because I already know what to do and what's limiting me. In the beginning, I would write to solve a particular issue - to feel certain. But now as I have come to the solution and I feel certain about it, I would stop focusing on writing about NoFap to instead write about some important event that I could learn from by it writing down, but that also would be valuable for the reader. My intent with closing this journal is for me to look towards my life purpose and document my journey towards that rather than focusing on some issue that im directly trying to solve; and by the law of attraction that is even counterproductive! And when it comes to providing value and inspiring people, I feel like I can offer you guys with much more value by starting a new journal that focuses on the theme of Life purpose rather than beating this dead horse by another forced update. Keeping this journal as my only journal here limits my journaling and value providing potential on this forum so I have decided that I will soon be starting a new primary journal that I will be posting in with all the integrated lessons I've learned from this journal. I will still keep posting here if something new happens with my NeverNut journey; my only motivation left. It's very insightful to see how this "chapter" has unfolded, at first I was inexperienced, and so I went through this process of self-discovery through journaling about my NoFap journey. I started to realize what actually had to be done to transcend PMO, and so that negated the purpose of this journal while it opens up this whole new field I can explore. You enter a journey with a purpose and as you learn more about yourself and the journey, that adds up to reshape the purpose you started with! You take a walk with your cat only because you know he has shit, and as you walk your cat, you go past a pet store that sells cat toilets and to you go in there and realize that this cat toilet is the solution to your problem of having to walk the cat all the time. And now when you're home with the cat off your mind, do you ever want to walk that cat again?
  21. This... This is the peak of male power. Im gonna take on the beast of 6 months as the superior man takes on his depolarized potato. Im gonna ravish the world with neverending, evergrowing spring-nectar of holy hormonal bliss extracted by the means NoNut and the cultivation my alpha essence into awareness, creativity, wet attraction, and fuckin' nonduality. Let me present a short backstory for you all: I have been on this journey of NoFap for close to 2 years, my longest streak being 6 months which im now gonna recreate a year later with unmeasurable power gained from this hard journey in between. Only recently have I been gaining the benefits of my endless observations of where my life is going with this addiction, and only now I have gained a confidence like never before out of the sheer fact that I have learned something new every time I have relapsed, up until a week ago; I felt this sudden shift, that signaled that im capable of doing this. I quit video games and PMO cold turkey last week, and my positive motivations have provided me with unmeasurable confidence, aiding me to pulverize and absorb the last fiber of any hedonistic desires with the light of my awareness. Many goals have been set. This ain't gonna be an easy cookie to chew but I shall let the confidence in my goals carry me through! Im gonna read many books that will aid me in this journey, and I will be exposing myself through this journal as frequently as I have the time to be online. This challenge will be: Unconditional semen retention (within my power) No ejaculation, not even when having sex No watching porn, (Not exposing myself to anything sufficiently graphic to spawn arousal) No intentional/recreational fantasizing I will keep you guys updated through this journal, in @Shin's words: In this quote, Mr.Shin refers to accountability partners. With radical honesty, I will keep you guys updated along the way! Credits to @8Ball, @Sahil Pandit, @youngshinzen, @Shin, @Vitamine Water, @Marinus, @Jol356 , @alea @Leo Gura and all of you guys who are inspiring me and are keeping the holy practise of semen retention alive!
  22. @flowboy Oh yes!! Thanks for clearing that up, oh boy, thats gamechanging. Paradigm shift! For this to work I have to let go of the need for approval = life purpose = abundance mindset = masculinity = attraction.
  23. @SFRL Great reply, thanks. Will keep all of this in mind @flowboy Another great reply, thank you for the perspectives! Got it, thanks. But in a certain sense I will have to let go of constantly thinking about touching her for my intuition to come up. What if my head goes: hey, you see her coming towards you, dont just say hello and shake her hand or hug, go for the kiss right away. I wouldnt go for the kiss in that scenario because some emotion would come up and hinder me from doing that, dismissing the kiss thought as a mere joke, then overwhelming me with excuses. Now, how does the compelling force of intuition feel and play into this? Leo says: I will adopt the mindset to go do it as you say, but does that mean im pushing trough the flinch in combination with a sense of intuition -a sense of it being natural- or just acting upon my thoughts soley without that sense of it being natural? Or is it just as you say that no thoughts will come up unless intuition is already there, but then, what about that kissing thought I just mentioned?
  24. I can imagine. Thanks! Will do. This has to do with the scarcity mindset, if I have the abundance mindset then my intuition tells me it will go all natural. Ill go to work on that. I am currently working hard on finding the LP and I see how it can be attractive, I see how the path carries my persona to behave in a more attractive way. I was thinking alot about the girl mentioned, but I just know that I cant get her trough thinking and obsessing about her, that is me being needy. I have to let go of girls in order to attract them. Im aware that LP takes priority here. I have recently found out that one of my core strengths is to relate to people and encourage relationships. I want to make good use of that and be able to learn along the way, while satiating the need for socialization. @Leo Gura Very good and satisfying answer, I cant add anything to that. Im going to work right away with the research, but I invest effort into balancing out the theory with the practice. I will ask the girl out this week as I noticed she was attracted to me and we will see how it goes from there. Pretty excited, will update soon.
  25. @kag101 Thanks for the gold, im reading what you sent! Please elaborate on what natural means Thank you!!