Igor82

Actually his videos are pretty calming I should spend an afternoon just sitting and watching this guy... maybe I can bliss out with him. (Only looking away to piss in a jar if I need to) Deeply inspiring thought, thanks for sharing! I watched him a long time ago, and I just always wanted to find an excuse for him getting away with that ("he is crazy" "he is on meth", etc). Maybe he is sitting there and tripping? Who knows...

1. I wish I could make the best wishes 2. 3.

This was written over the span of an hour, where I sat on my couch and thought through my problems. Every time I felt closer to solving the emotional issue (by intuition), I wrote down what I was thinking about (You all can relate to this) These are the notes of me solving an emotional issue in my life. I sat down with my journal and started to identify what my emotion was pointing to: 2018-10-23 I also watched this whole anime called FlipFlappers, and it was very good. But I got very very inspired by the childishness and freedom om Papika, but also her radiant love for Cocona. The problem with these animes is that they make the rational mind try to think through all the details and beauty of the work, to grasp it, and to come to sense with it, or else it will be forever nagging. Here im sitting in envy of the beauty, I want to get there, but what about my own values and goals? The most inspiring this with Papika is that she is completely joyful and childish while constantly facing the unknown, and I also resonate with that because I feel more and more the sense of unfamiliarity in the world... What is this thing? This feeling is like a hole in my belly, a subtle one at least, and what I want is to be with Papika, and be fulfilled by the playfulness and love she radiates. What I want is to face the unknown with playfulness and love, facing the world with playfulness and love... Where can I find playfulness and love in my life? Why do I want to go to animeland to achieve that? I want the child to play with me, I want her love to radiate me, and I want to go on adventures, but I don't want to be alone. I want to play with Papika, I want somebody to lift me up and to play with me, somebody open as Papika, somebody playful as her. I want the freedom to play with a companion who is free, open and playful... No; I want to be playful with somebody, I want to be open with somebody, I want a friend to play with, just like how Papika found Cocona. An authentic friend to play with. I just want somebody to have fun with, I could be Papika, just free and funny, but I have Cocona! I could just go and laugh it off with Simon, but still, something would be missing, what Papika has that Simon would not is the love, spontaneity and feminine energy! If I could laugh it off with Simon, whilst also loving a girlfriend, then I would be satisfied? In order for me to face the unknown, I need to fulfill my deficiency need of love, belonging and friendships. I should involve myself in high-quality friendships, with humorous and playful friends where I can spread my love. I want to give love and playfulness to my friends, where I will receive the same from them, and together we can play in an adventure, where we disintegrate fully into love and playfulness. This is a sign for me to pursue my passion, even more, to make art which channels my love! That is why I tried to express myself through piano I want to enter the unknown for the sake of love and freedom I can not face my fears, grow and progress with somebody, but I want a sense of direction, where my facing the unknown will result in love and freedom. I want to face my fears with a sense purpose, where I can do it for love, giving my love as gifts to the world. My purpose will be a big adventure Now, if I have this, my desires of Papika disappear. I wanted Papika to lift me up, where I can go on an adventure with her, for the playfulness, laughter, and love, with a sense of purpose which is being achieved. These problems are now resolved. I shall make a compelling life vision for myself, and take action on my life and this vision, adventuring with a sense of purpose for the sake of passion and love. Meanwhile, I will gratify myself by attending social events frequently, so I can give people little gifts of playfulness and love along the way. Tangible action steps: Reach out to the improvising club through my piano teacher, and also reach out to the athletics club, attend toastmasters when they host events, also be on the lookout for suitable events on meetup.com in the future. Spend 30 minutes every afternoon crafting a compelling vision until satisfaction. Visualize this vision every morning by schedule.

I have taken cold showers since 18 months ago, every time I take a shower, its a cold one (except around 6 hot showers total) Nowadays I take a cold shower every day depending only on if I decide to throw the day down the ditch and binge for the whole day (which rarely happens) The physical procedure: Get naked Prime the water with cold water Get into the bathtub Do the mental preparation* Place the hose on top of my head Count to 5 Pull Enjoy for 5 minutes * = The spiritual thing explained below Water is getting really cold here in Sweden, and only recently I have developed this technique to muster the courage to surrender into the cold I do not practice the Wim-Hof method. I do the horse stance after the shower to heat up, but I do not do the breathing exercises before the cold exposure (I have not built up that practice) Now, I treat the cold as a powerful teacher in the way that I can surrender into its force. The "fuck-it" part of the shower is only stepping into the shower, but rather than saying "fuck-it" and pulling the lever, I consciously face my fear of pulling the lever. I treat the initial 5 seconds of the shower (the unbearable part) as an ego death, as it is fearful and very uncomfortable to face, and its rewarding in a sense. I chant to myself "I am ready to surrender into anything that happens when I pull the lever, I am ready to die", and I consciously strip away all my values and everything, preparing myself for my death, where only the discomfort of death will remain, but not my clinginess. Then I count down from 5 (I have never ever betrayed this countdown, I trust this fully, and I only do it when im certain to pull the lever, I always pull the lever at 0) And I face my fear. I try to completely surrender into the experience... My body will react and start to breathe heavily, then move the hose around etc, I don't put too much effort into keeping the hose at the same place, but I will with time. That was the practice, here are some things to say: I am preparing myself for an ego-death in real life, to be able to more fully surrender into it This is very rewarding as im pushing through my fear, getting to know it, its a very controlled practice I feel good overall by doing this The showers are always cold, they won't "get warmer" by time, only your mindset will I can not prove the benefits of this though, I have not faced ego death yet This practice actually replaces my 50minSDS (which I have replaced by Kriya yoga in the mornings), I am fully conscious in the initial moment of surrender, but when I get used to the cold in the shower, there is no more need to surrender. I will answer questions if you want to know details about my cold showers in general, but I have one question for you: Do you suspect/know that this practice will help me through an ego-death in the future or not?

@Charlotte I do the plank to endure pain. Oh lord, it gets painful. You can surrender into infinite pain only if you can stay awake and observe what it is, but the body won't let you, it will move, your breath will become weird, all sorts of thoughts will come up, and awareness will fade, then pain slams you down to the floor and then comes the ecstasy Its a matter of willpower, really. But such exercises are healthy!

@Tony 845

I use "Desktop calendar" Just do Win+D and you've got an interactable calendar that you can write stuff on. I use this on my MacBook (portable notebook) It fulfills all my needs of a calendar

@Tony 845 I don't know if Wim-Hof is enlightened, but Leo mentioned him to be stage turquoise in his spiral dynamics stage turquoise video (If I heard right) Other than that, I have no idea

@SageModeAustin Do you specifically mean that insight about the nature of reality won't stick, or insights in general? I find insights to be like paradigm shifts, always sticking around unless you prove them wrong in the future.

@SageModeAustin Why writing down the insights?

I mean subjective depth! The way we see it!

@cetus56 Is depth an illusion?

@Joseph Maynor I find it more comfortable to do a cold shower initially, they tend to be much harder to take after the hot shower, and it gives an excuse to only do it a few seconds, I mean, my cold shower IS a shower, I use soap and all that. I prefer the convenience. Once I did a 20 min cold bath (in the same water temperature), I got used to the feeling after a few minutes, then I tried to be still in there, and after a while, all the cold sensations disappeared. My body was functioning properly, etc, but when I got out, supposedly the warm blood in the organs mixed with the cold blood in the skin and so I was shivering like crazy (fearful), with 5 blankets on me beside a radiator. This is why I do the horse stance after every shower, and its also why I don't take longer showers than 5 minutes. You get comfortable yeah, its bearable after the first 20 secs, but at a point, the body will give a (subtle, like habits) intuitive sense that its time to stop, and so I do. Around 5 minutes. You should try a cold shower without the hot shower first, see how you like it.

I surrender into the initial cold because that is the most fear-based and uncomfortable after that does the self-made resistances show up, and I do notice them. I try to relax into it, and I have practiced doing longer periods of initial surrender into the initial cold over my head, but I do not strain myself into resisting my self-imposed resistances, which are: Moving the water hose along my shoulders and other parts of the body rather than a continuous stream along the neck, and also touching my body with my hands, keeping myself busy essential until it does not get uncomfortable anymore, which happens at around 15 seconds. I do not surrender anymore after the initial part, as I have gotten comfortable enough to the cold for no fear to show up, although if I put a continuous stream of cold water on my neck, it tends to get uncomfortable after a while, but that would be the same style as surrendering into the plank position (you know when you work out), it does not include fear. I want to surrender into the fear, no fear shows up DURINg the shower unless something out of the ordinary happens.

@Etagnwo I just soaked in all of your stuff. At first, my ego wanted to defend and compare my old paradigm vs the one you were presenting, but I got more comfortable and open the more I realized you made a lot of sense The content you worked to share here is enormous! You have changed my paradigm and sparked insights! By thinking that my life purpose is gonna make me fulfilled, not women, then I kind of thought that all these pickup things are bad... This is wrong as I didn't account for the LP's of the PUA's and just how practical it is! Of course I can go out and have some fun, be myself and approach some girls. It does not matter if she will reject me, I don't even care. My purpose is unshakable. Until now, I have not assigned a sustainable purpose to pickup. I have also realized that im skipping through mines of golden nuggets in this forum. I do browse and read a lot here, but this level of depth is just astonishing. I have better realized the huge importance of nofap in this work, as it gets me more in touch with my masculine core, my purpose, and its unsuitability. From that, all the attraction will come from, as indirect nofap benefits. Thank you for the work you have put out here... Thank you Thank you! If it was not for you I would have gone to sleep early and gone done a perfect schedule tomorrow, but this... this will give me some sweet sweet dreams of solid integration. I will not restrain myself and my masculinity, and I shall put your words into practice. Double down on my purpose and nofap, and assigning a good purpose in being myself, comfortable in my masculinity. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Ahahaha!

Last meal: 2.5kg of Sweet potatoes + 2 cucumbers + some salt, mustard, basil, ajvar and soy sauce (only meal of the day, didnt eat all of it) Healthiest meal: ~7 ripe mangoes Edita (STEAMED sweet potatoes)

I highly recommend the mastery mindset when it comes to listening to music, as you listen more and more, you kind of "master" the song, and you know everything all about it. This makes it very good to listen to. But only a good song can be mastered as you can listen to it many times without getting bored of it and killing it. (See the songs below) This first song im presenting is my all time favorite, which is rather peculiar as I don't consider it a masterpiece like the ones listed below it, but what makes it special is all the emotions that I have attached to it. I have listened to it so many times in many special occasions that it has become a role in my life, a part of me. Every time I listen to it, my consciousness is raised and I remind myself of how fast life is going (since I listened to it the previous time), and I just sit and look at how beautiful this journey is. Having such an attachment to a song is rather remarkable. What song is a part of you?

I would pick the Kriya Yoga workbook from Leo's booklist

\i suggest checking out the work of Loren Lockman on youtube. He is an expert within this field, he owns a fasting center in Costa rica where he has fasted thousands of people. He has convinced me that fasting is the single most effective thing in clearing out the garbage out of the body, and the body will do it by its own intelligence. I believe that you can trust the body that it will take care of its problems when you give it enough space. The body will never cause itself any problem through detoxification if you are doing it correctly. I am planning to go to TangleWood when I have the money for it: https://www.youtube.com/user/LorenLockman

30 Day nofap challenge Alright guys, so I got an accountability partner to introduce myself to some nice negative motivation. Combined with the goals I will achieve (because of this nofap challenge), I feel unstoppable. If I watch porn, I pay partner 25bucks, if I jerk off, I pay 150bucks, its as easy as that. Ever since then, all my cravings are pulverized my the thought of having to pay when I relapse, my honesty is on the line aswell. I have lined up some goals that I will have fulfilled by the end of the challenge, I feel like I have struck the goldmine of motivation!

@Nahm Too subtle, too powerful, hahaa, I found your response really funny as I took Shin's post completely for granted!

@Nahm

I know, I know, as my deep ignorance is melting away. I know you, I see you, I feel you, and I know of all you have gone through. I understand that the world is heavy, and why you can't break free. I will give you me, to bloom your roots, to white the grey and complete my heart. I am you, I love you. I love you, I love you.