Igor82

Great tips! This clears up some stalemate in my mind. If you have any experience with killing a trip with benzos(xanax) or something similar, can I have some tips for that, for how to use tripkillers? Never used them before.

Thanks! The family in the friend's house is huge, they are a lot of people. There would be all sorts of sounds going randomly throughout, and the parents would not be initially acceptant of me tripping there (bringing trouble to the house) I could make that hard phone call and talk to them, but then I don't know if I can trip comfortably and quietly when I come there. I put some thoughts into this. I might just wait until the guy who is moving in is out for a couple of days or something and then I can take the opportunity. I would feel comfortable tripping at home in the most optimal setting (completely alone with no obligations in complete silence), I could do that tomorrow if I had the opportunity, especially with trip killers, I have the calling and I would not hesitate. But I can't do that, not at the friend's house and not at home, not right now. I guess I could convince the family to give me space, but that would be way too complicated. They have a party this Friday, I can go there, (I wanted to go to the previous party, I have no social circles so I wanted to benefit from that but I had problems to take care of) I can even bring some LSD if I find the optimal space to do it there, you never know. Until then I will wait patiently.

Thank you for the suggestion, I can see how that could be very good as I would not be prone to distractions and worries that people might come in at night, also the darkness! I will take 150-200mcg depending on my mood that day Alright, I can see that. Then ill be going to my friends house to be tripping. My home is extremly comfortable although nit any more. In my friends house I can know that im very safe provided the space I can have to trip. Thanks for the suggestions

I used to play Viva Piñata many many hours when I was a young child. I didn't get addicted to it like I would get addicted to an RPG nowadays, but I always wanted to build something new in the game! It's like finding beauty in playing Minecraft Solo survival mode. It's inspiring now because I feel like I played the game so much because maybe it's resonating with my life purpose! Other than that, I love the game Dota2. Just for the beauty of it, it's like chess x100. Seeing the best players play is a joy, and with the Valve always striving to make the game perfectly balanced in its chaotic beauty is really inspiring to me.

@winterknight Wonderful work!! I did only read very little of this thread... I hope not this thread magically disappears from this forum before I can read it all. I realize that this journey is very long and im just at the beginning... What is the best expectation that prepares me for this journey? My preliminary answer: I should expect "hell of hell, no mercy, worst case scenario, slow suicide, etc", essentially expecting the toughest journey, only being able to push through with my current will and curiosity for truth. This expectation makes it easier for me to evaluate what I really want (Why suffer through hell?)... is it a valid expectation? Will alignment with this expectation (Me being in the second ox picture) prevent me from quitting in the toughest of times?

@Shin What if you get to a point where you won't even have sexual cravings when watching porn

This is my video, please criticize my insights so I know what im doing

I tried listening the confidence 5g on repeat when I was sleeping, but I had to tape my headphones into my ears, and as I usually sleep on my side, that got really uncomfortable. I noticed some results, placebo or not, they were there. I had more thoughts of me boing unstoppable and being a king, nothing will stand in my way kind of thing. But the headphone thing is really screwing me. I will do some more research, but I think I need speakers for this one. If im gonna listen to ANYTHING during the day, it will be mp3 recordings or music, the subliminal recordings are not any more portable for than Leo's recording on how to have amazing sex... I'll see where this thread will be going...

Alright. Im gonna try the Self-confidence5g recording tonight when I sleep. I will put on the "silent" version on repeat with headphones. The recording is free, and if I notice any benefits other than suspicious placebo, then I will post a report on the results here.

This seems good! Should I just go through my fears and uncertainties, go and buy the thing from subliminal-shop and change my life starting tonight? @Recursoinominado If this guy got some benefits from listening to subtle things at night when sleeping, why can't I?

Haha, Congratz @8Ball !!! Man, reading this thread just surges me with motivation. I fucked up the challenge 22 days in, where I was very out of touch with my motivations, and ended up relapsing... Now I have to pay my friend 150$, and I shall not fail again! I think I will schedule in 15 minutes of browsing nofap stuff every evening, as this just reconnects me with my direct nofap motivations again! (My indirect motivations being my ultimate vision which im working on to build daily since a week ago) The benefits are phenomenal! NOt to mention that I have not seen many social benefits (im lacking social circles, but I will attend toastmasters tomorrow). Thank you guys, I know im not posting much, but the same goes for the whole forum, I say this from the bottom of my heart: I am very grateful for being able to access this level of motivation wisdom and knowledge (even entertainment) that all of you are sharing within this forum. I feel very very lucky!

Actually his videos are pretty calming I should spend an afternoon just sitting and watching this guy... maybe I can bliss out with him. (Only looking away to piss in a jar if I need to) Deeply inspiring thought, thanks for sharing! I watched him a long time ago, and I just always wanted to find an excuse for him getting away with that ("he is crazy" "he is on meth", etc). Maybe he is sitting there and tripping? Who knows...

1. I wish I could make the best wishes 2. 3.

This was written over the span of an hour, where I sat on my couch and thought through my problems. Every time I felt closer to solving the emotional issue (by intuition), I wrote down what I was thinking about (You all can relate to this) These are the notes of me solving an emotional issue in my life. I sat down with my journal and started to identify what my emotion was pointing to: 2018-10-23 I also watched this whole anime called FlipFlappers, and it was very good. But I got very very inspired by the childishness and freedom om Papika, but also her radiant love for Cocona. The problem with these animes is that they make the rational mind try to think through all the details and beauty of the work, to grasp it, and to come to sense with it, or else it will be forever nagging. Here im sitting in envy of the beauty, I want to get there, but what about my own values and goals? The most inspiring this with Papika is that she is completely joyful and childish while constantly facing the unknown, and I also resonate with that because I feel more and more the sense of unfamiliarity in the world... What is this thing? This feeling is like a hole in my belly, a subtle one at least, and what I want is to be with Papika, and be fulfilled by the playfulness and love she radiates. What I want is to face the unknown with playfulness and love, facing the world with playfulness and love... Where can I find playfulness and love in my life? Why do I want to go to animeland to achieve that? I want the child to play with me, I want her love to radiate me, and I want to go on adventures, but I don't want to be alone. I want to play with Papika, I want somebody to lift me up and to play with me, somebody open as Papika, somebody playful as her. I want the freedom to play with a companion who is free, open and playful... No; I want to be playful with somebody, I want to be open with somebody, I want a friend to play with, just like how Papika found Cocona. An authentic friend to play with. I just want somebody to have fun with, I could be Papika, just free and funny, but I have Cocona! I could just go and laugh it off with Simon, but still, something would be missing, what Papika has that Simon would not is the love, spontaneity and feminine energy! If I could laugh it off with Simon, whilst also loving a girlfriend, then I would be satisfied? In order for me to face the unknown, I need to fulfill my deficiency need of love, belonging and friendships. I should involve myself in high-quality friendships, with humorous and playful friends where I can spread my love. I want to give love and playfulness to my friends, where I will receive the same from them, and together we can play in an adventure, where we disintegrate fully into love and playfulness. This is a sign for me to pursue my passion, even more, to make art which channels my love! That is why I tried to express myself through piano I want to enter the unknown for the sake of love and freedom I can not face my fears, grow and progress with somebody, but I want a sense of direction, where my facing the unknown will result in love and freedom. I want to face my fears with a sense purpose, where I can do it for love, giving my love as gifts to the world. My purpose will be a big adventure Now, if I have this, my desires of Papika disappear. I wanted Papika to lift me up, where I can go on an adventure with her, for the playfulness, laughter, and love, with a sense of purpose which is being achieved. These problems are now resolved. I shall make a compelling life vision for myself, and take action on my life and this vision, adventuring with a sense of purpose for the sake of passion and love. Meanwhile, I will gratify myself by attending social events frequently, so I can give people little gifts of playfulness and love along the way. Tangible action steps: Reach out to the improvising club through my piano teacher, and also reach out to the athletics club, attend toastmasters when they host events, also be on the lookout for suitable events on meetup.com in the future. Spend 30 minutes every afternoon crafting a compelling vision until satisfaction. Visualize this vision every morning by schedule.

I have taken cold showers since 18 months ago, every time I take a shower, its a cold one (except around 6 hot showers total) Nowadays I take a cold shower every day depending only on if I decide to throw the day down the ditch and binge for the whole day (which rarely happens) The physical procedure: Get naked Prime the water with cold water Get into the bathtub Do the mental preparation* Place the hose on top of my head Count to 5 Pull Enjoy for 5 minutes * = The spiritual thing explained below Water is getting really cold here in Sweden, and only recently I have developed this technique to muster the courage to surrender into the cold I do not practice the Wim-Hof method. I do the horse stance after the shower to heat up, but I do not do the breathing exercises before the cold exposure (I have not built up that practice) Now, I treat the cold as a powerful teacher in the way that I can surrender into its force. The "fuck-it" part of the shower is only stepping into the shower, but rather than saying "fuck-it" and pulling the lever, I consciously face my fear of pulling the lever. I treat the initial 5 seconds of the shower (the unbearable part) as an ego death, as it is fearful and very uncomfortable to face, and its rewarding in a sense. I chant to myself "I am ready to surrender into anything that happens when I pull the lever, I am ready to die", and I consciously strip away all my values and everything, preparing myself for my death, where only the discomfort of death will remain, but not my clinginess. Then I count down from 5 (I have never ever betrayed this countdown, I trust this fully, and I only do it when im certain to pull the lever, I always pull the lever at 0) And I face my fear. I try to completely surrender into the experience... My body will react and start to breathe heavily, then move the hose around etc, I don't put too much effort into keeping the hose at the same place, but I will with time. That was the practice, here are some things to say: I am preparing myself for an ego-death in real life, to be able to more fully surrender into it This is very rewarding as im pushing through my fear, getting to know it, its a very controlled practice I feel good overall by doing this The showers are always cold, they won't "get warmer" by time, only your mindset will I can not prove the benefits of this though, I have not faced ego death yet This practice actually replaces my 50minSDS (which I have replaced by Kriya yoga in the mornings), I am fully conscious in the initial moment of surrender, but when I get used to the cold in the shower, there is no more need to surrender. I will answer questions if you want to know details about my cold showers in general, but I have one question for you: Do you suspect/know that this practice will help me through an ego-death in the future or not?

@Charlotte I do the plank to endure pain. Oh lord, it gets painful. You can surrender into infinite pain only if you can stay awake and observe what it is, but the body won't let you, it will move, your breath will become weird, all sorts of thoughts will come up, and awareness will fade, then pain slams you down to the floor and then comes the ecstasy Its a matter of willpower, really. But such exercises are healthy!

@Tony 845

I use "Desktop calendar" Just do Win+D and you've got an interactable calendar that you can write stuff on. I use this on my MacBook (portable notebook) It fulfills all my needs of a calendar

@Tony 845 I don't know if Wim-Hof is enlightened, but Leo mentioned him to be stage turquoise in his spiral dynamics stage turquoise video (If I heard right) Other than that, I have no idea

@SageModeAustin Do you specifically mean that insight about the nature of reality won't stick, or insights in general? I find insights to be like paradigm shifts, always sticking around unless you prove them wrong in the future.

@SageModeAustin Why writing down the insights?

I mean subjective depth! The way we see it!

@cetus56 Is depth an illusion?