Emerald

Of course, on a human level, all people are on equal footing in terms of validity. So, this is not a value judgment comparing men and women. But the type of pairing that works is either one that is totally equal (which is rare)... or is one that the man is very invested in the particular woman and sees her as the prize. In a situation where the man is the prize, it leads to a desperate woman draining her energy trying to keep a complacent guy who likes her just enough to have sex with her and spend some low investment time with her. That's what happens when the man is the prize. But in the opposite situation where the woman is the prize, she can rest in the Feminine. And he will pursue her and invest in her. And this creates a relationship where both the man and the woman are invested in each other... but the man slightly moreso. So, if you want a woman to be desperate and obsessed with you while you don't reciprocate her feelings, find a woman who sees you as the prize. If you want a committed relationship that is stable and can last a long time, only pursue women that you truly see as the prize.

You are so far off from understanding what women actually want... and how male/female relationship dynamics really operate. Women (on the whole) tend to find a lot of meaning in the mutual single-pointed devotion in monogamous relationship. And deviations from that (from herself or her partner) water down the potency of that meaning. I only know one woman who genuinely prefers polyamory to monogamy. And that's because her personality is very sexually open. And she would never go for a harem situation where only the guy has multiple partners because she also wants variety. So, there are poly women who exist. But these poly women tend to want to have multiple partners themselves... and don't prefer some harem situation. Otherwise, in every other situation that's arisen where a woman I've known has entered into a polyamorous situation (or stayed in a relationship that turned poly) with a guy who has another female partner or who wants an open relationship... she stays with him because she cares about him and doesn't want to break up or lose him. And the guy is always just some guy... not even a particularly attractive or powerful guy. Just a guy that she's got feelings for and has grown attached to. And the women I've known who have stayed in this type of poly situations, were doing so at the sacrifice of the type of relationship dynamic that they really wanted and just tried to make do with the polyamorous situation. But this dynamic just arises from a lack of fidelity to one's own boundaries. There's always a lot of cognitive dissonance to avoid acknowledging one's own boundaries in these kinds of situations.

I don't know very much technical information about Karma. But my understanding of it is more along the lines of lessons that must be learned and traumas that must be processed and growth that must happen. And this is just my interpretation, but the way I see Trump is that he himself is a manifestation of the Karma of the collective consciousness of America and the first world. What I mean is that Trump is a reflection of the Karma of the collective of humanity, and is a Karmic "expectorant" of sorts that dredges up a lot of things that people don't want to face with. He seems the ideal embodiment and reflection of the collective American Shadow.... of unbounded ego, Capitalist greed, anti-intellectualism, falseness, and ugly glamour. So, I believe that we're collectively "burning off Karma" through the Trump presidency because it brings so much hidden unpleasant stuff from the collective unconscious up to the surface to be faced with and processed and learned from. The past 10ish years has been one big Trumpy shit sandwich of Karma that we're all collectively eating through.

I know you wouldn't do it. I wasn't really directing that advice towards you in particular... just addressing the post more generally. But I would guess that, if he's not in the exact Jackass-like night-life scenario that I mentioned in my previous post, that it's probably pre-planned and staged to get clicks and views from guys who are trying to learn to be more confident approaching women so that they can marvel at it and go, "Wow! How was that guy able to do that!?!?!" Otherwise, it would definitely end up with him ending up in jail because it's such an aberration to the norm and against the law. And even if (theoretically) a woman on the busy street in broad daylight was receptive to it (which I doubt... but yet again, crazy likes crazy), somebody else would definitely call the cops on him. Like, if you're going to act crazy, you have to be in an environment where crazy is normal and where you have social proof from friends that crazy is normal... like at a rock concert/festival, spring break beach party, or rowdy club environment. Like, when I was 17 years old and I went to my first rock festival show (Livestock 2006), the first thing I saw upon entering the festival was a woman giving a guy and blowjob on top of an rv while a bunch of people cheer them on. So, in these kinds of environments that are already crazy, it's like the Wild West. And in most environments, you have to a very young person too. Or it's going to still read as weird and crazy no matter the environment. Like a bunch of 21 year old guys going out to a wild place and a friend in the group starts streaking to be funny is just read as young adult hooligan antics. But a 30+ year old group of guys going out to a wild place and a friend in the group starts streaking, it's like "Good lord! John's gone crazy."

I didn't see the videos because they were blanked out, but the only way I could see this remotely work out for him is if the following is true contextually... He's young (under the age of 25) He's out with a bunch of friends at night... and all the guy friends are funny and brash together as a group. He's in some kind of wild nightlife place (like Ybor city or something like that) or out during Spring Break in a beach party town He's extremely outgoing and naturally funny He's totally detached from sexual outcomes (in a take it or leave it kind of way). His intention in being naked is not about getting girls. And he wants nothing from being naked other than to be outrageous and funny with his buddies (like the Jackass guys, if you're familiar with the show from the early 2000s) He's taking the frame of being the funny daring punkish guy who skirts the rules and disrespects the law He has to be courting young women (18-25) who he and his friends happen to encounter, who are also out to have a wild night and who are attracted to punkish outrageousness who haven't yet grown tired of these types of antics Some alcohol is involved He has to be at least somewhat conventionally attractive with a lean tall build. And ALL of these conditions would have to met for him to be considered as operating within the realm of normalcy. He'd have to be coming across like a Johnny Knoxville type of guy who's out having a wild night with his buddies. And some guys can pull this kind of thing off if it's in their personality to be such a jokester. But they're also taking a huge a risk. So, I don't recommend taking any risks like this for sure... especially if you're not naturally funny, outgoing, or brash AND you don't have a big gaggle of naturally funny, outgoing, or brash guys to go out and get into antics with you.

I choose my actions based on my values. And I have two values that are at play... 1. I don't like it when animals are needlessly suffering and are killed for the sake of human pleasure. So, I have chosen to abstain from eating meat and animal products, because I don't want to contribute to something that I have such a strong visceral reaction against even seeing it happen. 2. Sovereignty and personal choices is important to me, and I want to respect it in others... including in my children. So, I would never try to control the dietary and lifestyle choices of other people. And I don't feel right controlling the dietary choices of my children, since I wasn't Vegan when they were born. Like, if I were Vegan before they were born and my husband was also Vegan (he's not), we could have just set that up as the normal way without them feeling deprived of choice and of their favorite foods. But if I were to just be like, "Okay kids. I, as your mother, am your supreme authority. You're Vegan now! DEAL WITH IT!" that would not sit right with me because that kind of top-down authoritarian control is just not good parenting. Plus, they would rebel from it as soon as they turn 18 and become hyper-carnivores just to get away from parental authoritarianism. So, I am Vegan to bring MY OWN actions into integrity with MY OWN sovereign values. But it is not for me to tell anyone else what they should value. And it is not for me to control the dietary choices of another person. Instead, I just focus on getting people to be conscious of their own sovereign values and to become aware of how their own actions are misaligned with their own values. And once they face those realities about themselves, they can do whatever they want from there. That's why I'd never try to convince a person who doesn't value the life and well-being of animals to go Vegan. It is not my place to tell them what they should value. But if someone doesn't like it when animals to needlessly suffer and die and disagrees with eating animals for pleasure... then I try to get them to see that their actions are misaligned from their own values.

If you've had psychotic breakdowns in the past, that indicates a difficulty grounding in the consensus reality... which is necessary for living a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. And I don't recommend using any psychedelics for your medicine journeys given your breakdown in the past, as that can ungrounded you further and aggravate those issues. And beyond that, there could be something that's purely physiological that could be happening as some people don't do with the medicines. Your challenge will be more about grounding into your human form rather than trying to transcend the 3-d world. If you want to do a medicine journey, you would likely benefit from a grounding medicine like Hapé... which is a ceremonial tobacco. It will bring you more into the physical and in touch with your body, which is important if you tend to drift away from your humanity and your body. Think about it like your spiritual practice is a tree, and you've been over-focusing on growing your branches (which represents higher spiritual understandings and insights) without growing your roots (which represents your Earthly human life). And if a tree's branches grow without the roots being deep enough to support that growth, the tree will uproot. And that uprooting can be experienced as depersonalization, derealization, psychosis, loss of meaning, and other negative symptoms related to ungroundedness. So, for your own safety and well-being, I don't recommend psychedelic entheogens. Instead, you might opt to work with more grounding plant teachers... like Hapé.

Same here. And they also said something that pseudoscience along those lines. They said that Aubrey is doing this because of some trauma that caused him not to produce enough testosterone at a formative age, and that that has caused him to have developed a Feminine brain that causes him to be overly romantic and emotionally guided. I agree that Aubrey is operating in archetypally Shadow Feminine ways in this dynamic, which can happen when someone psychologically polarizes themselves into a polarly Masculine identity. And it seems like Aubrey fits the bill because his identity expression is very polarly Masculine. If someone pushes away the Feminine, the Shadow Feminine will creep in unconsciously through the lens of the Masculine identity wherever the Shadow Feminine can be intellectually reframed and interpreted as Masculine. Like, Aubrey probably conceptualizes this as an expression of his Masculine virility. But the MO is more of a Shadow Feminine expression of putting too much meaning to the emotions and towards what feels good. (And this dynamic isn't just with Masculinity and Femininity. With any polarization of identity, the opposite unwanted quality sneaks through the identity crafted around the opposing polarity.) But with all this being said, I'm sure that it doesn't relate to some disturbance in his physiology or testosterone levels. I don't like it when people try to "biologize" something that's psychological.

Thank you! That's all anyone is saying here.

Aubrey certainly isn't opening himself up to the same level of vulnerability as Vylana in this. So, there's no mutuality to the vulnerability that's being explored. It's just Aubrey getting what he wants... and Vylana continually challenging her boundaries and feeling vulnerable to keep the relationship going. And women feel good in relationships where they feel safe, stable, and secure... not draining their energy and challenging themselves to sustain a vulnerable position that doesn't feel good to them. Also, if a woman is putting in more work than the man to make a relationship work, it's just not going to work as it messes up the polarity. And the woman will drain herself to make the relationship work. It either must be equal... or the man must be somewhat more invested in the woman than she is into him. And that's what creates a stable foundation upon which to bear and raise children. And all those boundaries she's transcending are her trying to quiet her boundaries, instincts, feelings, and intuitions... because she is operating off a framework that sees these things as a barrier to a higher conscious love. But I do think it gives her a great opportunity to learn self-love the hard way and to integrate her inner bitch... which is a difficult lesson all women must learn. It's in these moments where we can learn to choose to show ourselves love and loyalty over trying to maintain a relationship that doesn't feel good to us. It's very common that someone can rationalize to themselves why they should continuously throw themselves under the bus and sacrifice their boundaries for a relationship. And for women especially, it is an absolute must to love yourself more than you're attached to your relationship... or you'll end up in a situation like this. And this is a very difficult lesson to learn for MOST women because attachments run deep and grief is difficult to face with. So, women frequently have an issue with going into denial to preserve a relationship. But for women, it's especially impotent to protect our energy and hold our boundaries where vulnerability exists... and to only allow those close who will not drain our energy. And if you lack proper boundaries as a woman, everyone will try to vampiricy drain you of energy and exhaust you. Gotta be willing to be a mean queen sometimes if you want to be treated with the love and respect you're entitled to.

And I relate to her enough to recognize her vulnerability.

As someone that's rationalized away things I'm not okay with to stay in a relationship with someone in the past, their conversation doesn't convince me one bit. And I could have waxed poetic about why I was staying with him. Consider the mixture of grief and the denial that comes with the potential of needing to leave a relationship to stay aligned with yourself... in combination with being given a narrative that allows you to fully embrace that denial phase of grief. That's how humans tend to operate. I don't think Vylana would be choosing this if she had the opportunity to be in a fully monogamous relationship with Aubrey. She just has to get used to going for WHAT she wants rather than WHO she wants.

Sure, that could be true. I did account for that. I actually just mentioned my best friend and her husband who are polyamorous. And my friend has an extremely high sex drive and needs lots of variety. So, their relationship works out well and it's been poly from the start... 17 years ago. It's more about the way that Aubrey Marcus is going about rationalizing it that's muddying the waters that's the problem.

Then, why don't you think this is an example of that?

You'd be wise to listen to it sometimes.

And clearly you don't understand common sense.

Yes... very tasty indeed.

Funny the things you select to listen to women about.

Hey Leo. God just commanded me to take all of your money away from you for your own good, while I keep it for safe keeping. It's this new enlightened way where all of humanity is embraces a non-materialistic lifestyle. And I will guide you in the difficulties and aversions you'll feel as it is hard to open up your boundaries to let money flow out and love flow in.

There's certainly evidence from what she said that she is lying to herself and rationalizing her boundaries away using Aubrey's narrative. She's been talking about how she keeps having to work really hard to open up her boundaries and push herself past her limits to do this "more evolved form of radical monogamy." And she had mentioned that it's painful to her and that it's challenging. But you see, she doesn't even really NEED to lie to herself. Aubrey has created a convenient narrative for her to lie to herself through that she would not have come to on her own if there wasn't a really high stakes decision attached to it. The thing is, if she honored those boundaries she's trying to transcend as valid and was honest with herself she'd be sitting down the barrel of a divorce from a man she really loves and has formed a lot of attachment to over the years. This should all be pretty obvious knowing how human nature operates. Denial is the first stage of grief... where we find any way that we can to avoid a loss.

This is a silly analogy, because these two examples have literally nothing to do with one another... other than that they generally pertain to relationships. Clearly Aubrey rationalizing his use of dating apps and traversing the previously agreed-upon boundaries of his relationship through the notion that God commanded it... and a priest going through the ritual of blessing a marriage are totally different scenarios. And that's because the priest blessing the marriage isn't a rationalization that's deliberately used to deceive one's self into acting selfishly and committing infidelity. (the relationship wasn't open at the time, and he's had previous issues with infidelity) Just like a priest blessing a marriage has nothing to do with a crackhead using "God's command" to rationalize why he should call up his dealer and do some crack. I think the miscommunication here is that you believe that I'm taking a "pro-monogamy" and "anti-polyamory" stance. But my issue isn't about monogamy versus polyamory... at all. If people are polyamorous, it's not my thing... but I have no issue with it. My best friend and her husband are polyamorous, and it works because I know that my friend likes a lot of sexual variety and so does her husband. So, it works out really well for them. I honestly don't think she would be able to sustain a marriage without it because it would be going so far against the grain of her personality... and they've been together for like 17 years. So, my issue isn't about polyamory at all. It is about unconsciously creating narratives for the sake of self-deception with religious and spiritual accouterments... and then roping others into that self-deception. It's no different than a crackhead convincing himself into hearing a commandment from God to do more crack. Of course, it could happen. But what's more likely? That God commanded Aubrey to scroll around on Tinder looking for attractive women? Or that Aubrey wanted to scroll around on Tinder looking for attractive women, and that he convinced himself that God told him to? Occam's razor is on the latter.

Convenient how God chimed in with its absolute authority to encourage him to scroll around on Tinder (given his past issues with infidelity). It's like a crackhead who is trying to convince himself that he wants to stop smoking crack. And he was about to! But then God chimed in and commands him to reach out to his dealer. And then, later on, God tells him that he even needs to start making his own crack. But he's not REALLY doing crack. He's smoking spiritual evolution powder... which will awaken all of humanity.

Well said. When we have had past dynamics that make us feel like we only deserve scraps, it can set us up for relationships where we give and give to the other person who only takes and siphons from us. And in this dynamic, it's that common pattern of sacrificing herself and her boundaries just to avoid losing the relationship. And of course, any narrative that explains away the pain would feel quite relieving, which is likely why she's going along with Aubrey's narrative that he's woven. And I'm hoping that the public reaction to this has validated her feelings a bit more... as she seems to have bought into the perspective that her feelings of aversion and her boundaries are something to transcend... as opposed to something to be honored. If she leaves, I believe that hindsight will be 20/20 on this situation.

It is definitely a good lesson for her to learn how to choose herself over maintaining a relationship with an incompatible person. She can definitely use this as a growth experience after she gets out of it and unpacks the situation from a distance. But it's a very hard lesson, and it makes it far more difficult when your partner is framing regular polyamory in a totally different way and calling it "radical monogamy" and framing it as some higher conscious relationship evolution that's better than monogamy. Like, if he was like "Hey, I want for us to be a polyamorous couple and to bring another woman into the relationship. How do you feel about that?" that would put her in a much better position to make a sovereign decision. It would still be difficult, but at least he'd be being straight-forward. It's still crappy to spring that on someone. But at least it's being up-front about it. Instead, he's framing this polyamorous throuple situation as an "evolution" and a more spiritual way of having a relationship.... which frames monogamy as a less evolved choice. And in framing it that way, he's influencing her into a mindset where her resistance to being in a non-monogamous situation is something less spiritual evolved to be transcend, and it's causing her to see her boundaries as an impediment to her spiritual evolution. And it's also calling polyamory monogamy... thus muddying the waters further. Plus, he's weaving together narratives to God told him to go on Tinder... and that God told him to impregnate both women. I saw that you said you have no issue with what he's doing and that they seem to be in a higher consciousness situation. But if this doesn't scream RED FLAG, I don't know what does.