Joseph Maynor

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and paradoxical but you have to go from hating Ego and wanting to get rid of Ego to loving and accepting Ego. But at the same time fully realizing the illusion of Ego. It’s tricky because we tend to want to stick to one answer like “Ego is bad” instead of accepting a paradox like Ego and No Ego.

Schopenhauer has some great things to say on certain topics.

Worship of competition and financial and social success. Sports, investing, sales, business. The Olympics is very stage Orange. When I mean social success I mean success that makes a person a step ahead of other people in the perceived social pecking order. Orange is competitive, but with society's standards not their own authentic standards necessarily. In contrast, Coral is competitive, but on their own authentic standards only. And Coral is only competing with themselves not with other people like Orange is. You ever hear the saying "being a step ahead of the Joneses?" That's a very stage Orange sentiment because Orange is comparing themselves with other people and competing with other people.

Yeah there’s that paradox in there.

Hehe. I was just thinking of stuff that I don’t need. What I need is an amazing set of computers to fit into my life. I want to get one of those Windows Surface things. That seems kinda neat. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surface_Pro_(2017)

You need a vision. Something you want to work for. Something beautiful uniquely to you. You need a vision for your life and for all life that comes into contact with you. Vision is #1 in personal development.

Yes and you have to be careful about that. Stay true to your instincts.

Give yourself time. Remember, all that matters is your vision. It's a stubbornness to being you that eventually brings you to success in personal development.

Oh yeah. I took the intro course and the upper division course. Those are the classes where I was exposed to questions like “What is pain?” Those are important classes if you have a good teacher.

If you really wanted to get into real philosophy of religion, study Medieval Western Philosophy. Theology is the other area you might want to look at.

I just re-watched “American Beauty” the night before last. That movie’s got some themes in it for sure. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Beauty_(1999_film)

This is the hardest thing, but you’ve gotta become your own accountability partner. Ditto for me.

I think so. It exposes you to certain things that you might never have been exposed to. I have a degree in Philosophy and took a couple of classes in philosophy of religion and one in Buddhism. The Buddhism class was almost worthless except for the textbooks which I read like 10 years after I graduated.

This is one area where I think Western Philosophy shines. Watch these videos.

Everyday! And I keep that page on my desk too so I have to look at it when I get any kind of temptation. Sometimes I still breach the agreement, but it’s much harder and it makes me think more before I do it. // Here’s what I print out on it’s own page and sign daily: I agree to comply with my schedule tomorrow 11/15/18. [insert whatever date tomorrow is] _______________________ [sign here]

I don’t have a single system. I have binders of notes, many electronic files, and the essays I post on Actualized. One thing I try to keep all in one place are my essays and one binder of materials that I review before I go to bed each night which keeps me on track with my Life Purpose Work. And I fill out a daily report on how I performed on my daily schedule (daily routine) which gets saved to a file on my Linux computer. I also sign a daily agreement to do my daily schedule (daily routine) and those signed agreements get saved in a pile in a special place in my room.

Why is there the thought you’re thinking to ask this question? First of all, how would you even recognize “nothing”? Second of all, “something” seems to make a monolith of many things that are not similar. You’ve pitted two abstract words together and formulated a deep-sounding question which it’s hard to find an answer to because the question itself is problematic. You can make the question more specific and you get something like — Why are there cats instead of no cats? Why are there continents instead of no continents? Why is there fear instead of no fear? Why are there humans instead of no humans? Why are there planets instead of no planets? Why is there conflict instead of no conflict?

Yep. First stage is Ego. Second stage is No-Ego. Third stage is No-Ego and Ego. Most people do not understand the third stage because it is a paradox, and most people dismiss paradoxes as inherently false.

The answer or the truth if you wanna use that very ambiguous term is a paradox between Self and no Self, Body and no Body, External World and no External World, Rationality and no Rationality, Other People and no Other People, Duality and Non-duality. Most people do not understand the basis for this paradox between Ego and no Ego. But there is a basis for it that you can discover in your own life.

People are sensing that you want or expect something from them and they’re giving it to you. They’re giving you what they see you expect from them. I’m not saying this is the only dynamic at play, but it’s one dynamic that you can fix on your end.

This is why having an “I’m ugly and everybody hates me” attitude is one of the worst beliefs and energies you can transmit to others. People will take you at your own assessment of yourself. And they’ll give you what you want. If you look like somebody who wants to get that kind of feedback from others, that’s what other people will give you! It’s so important to understand this self-fulfilling prophesy dynamic.

The other thing too is you get what you expect to see in life (this is that self-fulfilling prophesy thing going on) — and this is the trippier thing, people will relate to you how you expect them to relate to you. Once you get more confident and open people will treat you well because they can see that you expect them to treat you well. You will give off a totally different energy to them. People can feel it when you’re silently judging them that they will give you what you want from them. But if you’re not judging them and they can see you have standards and mean well, people will treat you well by default. I’ve confirmed this in my own life. People do not like to be judged, and if they are judged they like to be judged admirably. So, when people feel like you are judging them, they will give you what you expect from them.

A self-fulfilling prophesy is where you're expecting you might have a chance at failing at something and that doubt comes to actual fruition when you do fail. Then we get to say you had a self-fulfilling prophesy in the sense that you believed you would fail and therefore you did fail. But see, it's a little more complicated than that because you hoped you would succeed too. I don't think it was your idea that you would fail that caused the self-fulfilling prophesy effect. More likely, you got yourself in an unfamiliar situation where either you didn't do enough diligent pre-investigation or you're just gonna have to chalk it up to a learning experience, and if you aren't repeating mistakes learning experiences are actually healthy for your personal development. Oftentimes what causes a self-fulfilling prophesy is when hope outweighs diligent pre-investigation. You might glom onto one variable -- like hey that chick is hot or that job sounds like a lot of money. Then you go chase that too good to be true result and have a self-fulfilling prophesy-like failure happen to you. This is because you didn't really vet that thing to make sure it was consistent with how you actually are and what you actually prefer, you got lost in thought, lost in hope. So, I don't think what causes self-fulfilling prophesies is clinging to thoughts alone. The bad thoughts you experience are caused by the fact that you're involved in something that you didn't complete the self-checklist on. You didn't do enough up front to honor your authentic selection process. Keep in mind that this is addressing just one side of a paradox. On the one hand you should be going out there and making mistakes because that's the only way you can learn. Just don't repeat mistakes. What I'm gonna tell you how to do here is how to avoid the self-fulfilling prophesy effect from happening to you. So, don't use this information to become some kind of person who thinks they're gonna fail less. You want to fail more! But when you fail you need to be learning too and getting smarter about how you engage things. So, here's how to avoid self-fulfilling prophesies from happening to you. Let's go through my checklist: (1) BE 100% ASSERTIVE Know what you're looking for in the situation and let people know how you feel when you don't feel like your expectations are being met. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may regarding that. (2) BE 100% HONEST WITH YOURSELF Know what you like and what you don't like. You putting yourself in situations you know you don't like is foolish. if you don't like something, note that in a journal. That's something to keep in mind for next time. (3) BE TRULY COMMITTED Know why you're engaging with the situation down to the deepest level. You should know what actual problem situation you're attempting to sustainably solve in your life by engaging with the situation. Make sure the project or work is something you're not gonna dislike doing. (4) KNOW FULLY WHAT YOU’RE WALKING INTO This is common with dating and with jobs. Some hot chick is interested in you or some hot job wants to hire you. You get swept off your feet so to speak based on one variable. But see, you don't know that girl and you don't know that job. Try to get involved in situations where you know exactly what you're walking into. (5) ENFORCE A POLICY OF NOT REPEATING MISTAKES Keep a journal or notebook and actually note insights about life and lessons you're drawn from prior experiences. Often a way to deal with very painful experiences is to make a list of what not to repeat next time. Use these notes when you get involved in a similar situation in the future. Try to live where you never repeat the same mistake twice. // The other thing too is you get what you expect to see in life (this is that self-fulfilling prophesy thing going on) — and this is the trippier thing, people will relate to you how you expect them to relate to you. Once you get more confident and open people will treat you well because they can see that you expect them to treat you well. You will give off a totally different energy to them. People can feel it when you’re silently judging them in a negative manner and they will give you what you want from them. But if you’re not judging them and they can see you have standards and mean well, people will treat you well by default. I’ve confirmed this in my own life. People do not like to be judged, and if they are judged they like to be judged admirably. So, when people feel like you are judging them, they will give you what you expect from them. This is why having an “I’m ugly and everybody hates me” attitude is one of the worst beliefs and energy you can transmit to others. People will take you at your own assessment of yourself. And they’ll give you what you want. If you look like somebody who wants to get that kind of feedback from others, that’s what other people will give you! It’s so important to understand this self-fulfilling prophesy dynamic. People are sensing that you want or expect something from them and they’re giving it to you. They’re giving you what they see you expect from them. I’m not saying this is the only dynamic at play, but it’s one dynamic that you can fix on your end.

Be careful with trying to seek too much consensus with other people. Your personal development is about actually improving your own idiosyncratic life.

Put together a plan and a vision for improving yourself. Everything that you can change you need to commit 100% to changing.