MM1988

If women like extroverted, assertive, charming, social and smooth guys who will just take her along on a ride, why do left brained, highly logical and introvert guys still exist? Is the only matingstrategy for these men to use their unique skills (engineering) in society to acquire enough resources to become attractive in that way? Why are these genes still around?

@Shadowraix you are just confident in your "let it flow freely" point of view because it eventually let to a relationship. I have "let it flow freely" for 5 years in a row and nothing happened. thats life, literally random atoms bouncing around in a box.

@SFRL I understand alfred, I would give everything for a cute duck gf @SBB4746 this is my favorite kind of advice, someone who has no problems socially and girls interrested in him preaching from his high horse how its nothing special and not to focus on it. I wonder how you would behave if all these girls are suddenly not interrested in you anymore ever again + every girl you are interrested in rejects you. Im sure you would handle that just fine. This is like drinking a glass of water and then having the great insight "wow im suddenly not thirsty anymore, if someone would offer me water right now I would reject it. I bet I could go all my life without water ever again!". We all know how that would turn out.

@NoSelfSelf You can if you are a jock, but if you are introvert/nerdy you wont pull that off, it will seem inauthentic, you lie to yourself and people can of course smell that.

Good thing I do both, going out and then complaining afterwards. By the way I really enjoyed the blog video about scepticism this morning, good stuff.

Wait until you are 21 at least and out of puberty, do the non psychedelic practices for now. Then work your way up through psychedelics. I have no experience with 5MEO but thats what I would do. The ranking from easiest to hardest to psychologically handle psychedelics is roughly: Weed - MDMA - Ketamine - 2CB - LSD - Shrooms - 5MEO/DMT/Salvia

@Emerald Great post, really got me thinking. But no, its not social darwinism, at least not in that form. I understand its ultimately meaningless if you pass on your genes or not. I understand people who do not pass their genes can contribute great stuff to this world. I dont think gays or sterile people are of lower value. The root is basically this. Its about a behaviour that you see everyone doing very intuitively and flowing while you have to brute force it into your head and still fail a lot. You probably dont think about how to take a piss? Imagine you being neurotic about when your bladder is full enough, when is the right time to take a piss, then you go on the toilet and forget how to open your pants and sit down every time, then you wonder how long should stay on the toilet, ... its ridiculous right? You will end up pissing your pants 90% of the time.

@Girzo Maybe it sounds like victim to you but I'm also just finding out who I am. I'm highly neurotic, bad with social stuff, introvert, shy, good at logical stuff and love all nerdy topics for some reason. I'm just the stereotypical left brained guy. I'm sure I'm on the autism spectrum in some way. You have to know who you are as an ego and then accept it.

@NoSelfSelf another on hold? I'm not the kind of guy who has girls on hold I get maybe one opportunity every 2 years and I make the most out of them.

@NoSelfSelf I barely have opportunities, i the last 10 years I got 3 dates out of tinder which rejected me and 3 times made a move in a social circle ending with rejection. My job is male only, I live in a small town and there are barely single women my age. Left brained means you are more on the autism spectrum than the general population, which make you good with STEM type fields but gives you a hard time with understanding social cues and how dating works. Basically seducing women will remain a mistery for you. As a left brained guy you want dating to work in a neurotic way with a logical number of fixed steps. But thats not what secducing a women is about, I know this but I just cant get it into my behaviour and thinking. I just dont work that way. You shouldnt be required to learn this stuff from books, I mean its the most primal thing, attracting a women should be in your instincts. Most right brained people dont even have a single thought about it and it works. If you have that kind of autistic brain and thinking process you are just cut off from society, thats what it feels like. I dont get how these genes are still around. I suspect its a bit like why gays exist, their brain is wired in a evolutionary wrong way so that they wont spread their genes, but they are still around because they serve a reason (Gay uncle theory: https://www.livescience.com/6106-gay-uncles-pass-genes.html). The same way left brained people are around to not spread their genes and take over these logical STEM tasks society needs. In a way this is their life purpose, they are here on this earth to win nobel prices and advance physics in the best case but most of them will just end up as corporate programmers in a cubicle or something because right brained people can't do these tasks properly. The sooner you accept who you are and why you are here the better I guess, In a way its a gift but also a curse at the same time.

So this means the only valid mating strategy for shy,introvert guys is to become basically rich or at least upper middle class so you can then become a provider. I mean I get it, STEM guys need to exist to bring society forward, but why do they have to climb to the top in society just to become attractive to a women when a highly intuitive right-brained blue collar guy can easily make her wet in one conversation and trigger attraction that is based on primal instincts not just providing ressources. Just because he was born with a certain kind of brain. Becoming rich is a lot of luck. Life is a fucking joke.

@Girzo either that or something that lets you be really creative

@bejapuskas would be great but nobody wants to play that

@TomDashingPornstar Which section you mean? you can write the section. I have the booklist and several books from it.

Im 30 years old and basically have low self esteem since I was in puberty, it especially shows when interacting with girls and forming romantic relationships (I barely had any). I'm currently trying to get to the bottom of it. There was nothing really dramatic in my childhood, but since I can remember my parents never slept in the same bed together. I never saw them kissing or even touching each other in any romantic way to this day. When I was kid my mother was depressed a lot and there was a lot of fighting going on between them in the house. My mother often unloaded her bad mood on me afterwars (father was always relatively calm). Nobody ever got hit or anything thats why I always thought this was quite normal and not concerning but honestly at the worst this fighting was going on every single day. My mother didnt get a divorce I think because of me and because it would make things complicated with the house and everything (In retrospect I think they should have). I never really blamed myself for their fighting though but I often got a sinking feeling in my stomach when I heard them fighting outside my room once again. Nowadays my parents get along much better and im out of the house anyway. I wonder if there could be a connection to my low self esteem or me not being able to form relationships? I mean people with divorced parents dont really have problems with attracting partners even though their parents dont love each other so I doubt it. There is also the possiblity that I just want to blame someone else for this mess. I dont know. Im just throwing it out there.

Im working hard right now on getting this stuff fixed no worries I just want to know the reason for why I am like this, its a part of fixing it for me. Im not out to blame anyone it wouldnt help me anyway. @Serotoninluv I tried shamanic breathing about 10+ times but it only gives me a weird mildly enjoyable feeling but nothing ever came, the state after seems to numb my emotions rather than amplify it I dont know why.

@Shadowraix Yes if you are actually so traumatized by something that you cant bring it up sober that stream of positive emotions can soften the blow, I guess thats why its used for PTSD. But your everyday bad emotions, like a breakup up something? That stuff simply gets pushed out of the picture.

@FractalFlux I asked myself these questions on it a lot ("why am I not always this happy?" etc.). But its pointless, you just feel a ton of positive emotions and of course it feels very good. All your life problems seem small because you feel so good. And that one is true you shouldnt worry to much about stuff but in the end its all a scam, very artifical. Easy to not care about anything when you ride that wave but you just cant be euphoric 24/7, I think your brain would explode. @Shadowraix I dont know about the candyflip but MDMA seems shit for exploring emotions, just gives you a stream of positive emotions that hide the emotions you would usually feel. Something that amplifies emotions would be better, like LSD. @okulele Bullshit, thousands of people in every big city take MDMA every weekend in very noisy settings and have a good time. It definitely has much more depth than alcohol but overall Its a very straight forward and easy to handle substance. I have at least 20+ trips and every single time it was basically the same thing just variying in strength. Edit: Euphoria is a bad word for what MDMA feels like, but it can feel that way to a first timer because you have the excitment mixed in. Its not really a high that will make you hate your sober life afterwards. If you go about MDMA with a calm mind you will see it will just make you really feally content about your current situation, whatever you are doing right now. You can definitely get that feeling without MDMA its not something out of this world, but MDMA gives it to you basically on the push of a button plus extra energy and your body feels nice. Thats what the MDMA experience boils down to.

I have lots of experience with MDMA. Set and setting is not important, trip sitter is probably not needed. You dont even have to be in a really good mood. Its very recreational. It almost forces you into a positive mood and eliminates all anxiety. MDMA is best done dancing with loud electronic music or with friends. I personally dont get some great feelings of infinite love or start talking about personal stuff but I'm definitely friendlier to strangers and friends. MDMA is really a one of a kind experience and I recommend it but it seems pretty shallow if you dont do it with a therapist or something.

I would stay away from mao inhibitors and combinations with such, this seems dangerous.

@Leo Gura I think what you meant is, at the end of the day the stuff you learn in yoga and meditations are just helpful concepts that need to be transcended at some point at it comes down to what is actual. But yoga is still a powerful tool for someone who is not at that advanced stage. Is that correct? probabl shouldnt have said yoga is horseshit, seems to confuse a lot of people here.

is it?

I didnt mean only enlightened people, but just regular people with lower/higher consciousness.

After looking shadow work up online and instantly finding the concept very insightful so I ordered the book from the book list. I expected exercises that help me to learn more about myself and go really deep into the wirings of my ego. Im about 100 pages in and Im really dissapointed with it, barely ANYTHING in this book is about shadow work. It only talks about all the spiritual concepts like ego, religion, enlightenment and the author really drags this stuff out and repeats himself a lot. The exercises boil down to affirmations and just being more loving to other people and for some reason the author really wants you to join alcoholics anonymous. This is just a really generic new age book. Anybody know where I can find what Ive been looking for?

@Aimblack I have sedona method but its just about accepting the emotion, you dont really dig into it right? Im not searching for a relief I want something like therapy on myself to get to the bottom of my psyche.