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Everything posted by AdamDiC

  1. What would be the difference between Parvastha and self-inquiry? Both are basically focusing on awareness, nothingness, void. Self-inquiry just seems like longer Parvastha, independent on any practices preceding in. Where parvastha is a state focused on after kriya to calm the mind. Also, does SG recommend one-pointed concentration after practice. I swear he just says chill in the I-amness. Thanks.
  2. @Leo Gura Hi Leo. As the title suggests. I'd love to see a video on Suffering someday in the future. I bet you could talk for hours about this as it dove tails with basically every one of your last 100 talks. Thanks.
  3. @Matt23 Do you need to be accepted by your mother? Do you need her love to feel secure in yourself? Can you love her independant of her actions?Where are you placing your worth? Contemplate that. Try to not get attached to how others veiw/judge you. It's more them than you. =========== it seems that your mother has something to say, possibly some hurt emotions that have gone unchecked that are now manifesting as this mean attitude. If she is open, maybe you can talk to her and search for a resolution. If you find yourself in the situation again make sure to stop and take in what is going on. Feel into the suffering and question why it is there. What do you want? What beleifs do you hold about family? Be honest with yourself and try to find your centre. And whether it's actually happening or in your mind, it's hard to tell, but hey... what's the difference? Hope this helps. AdamD
  4. Sam Ovens Consulting Accelerator is a great course. Check it out.
  5. A few days after a profound psychedelic experience I broke down in front of my family. At first I was scared to cry, to let go, but the more I allowed the experience to unfold the more profound it became. It started out as shameful whimpering, then deep grieving, then cathartic moans, and then hysterical euphoric yelps. I realized that all my problems are fucking bullshit. I looked like a madmen it was amazing. I walk into my house and I'm instantly burdened with the expectations of the world. I created them all. I can choose where to place my power. In the world, or in my heart. The day before I went to my slave wage job and could barely keep myself together. It's not the job it's me. I've been holding too mcuh in I can't honestly relate to most people. (studying spirituality also doesn't help) The problem? I am scared to be myself. I am scared to be God. To be honest. I am not in integrity with my highest self and it kills me inside. The answer? Let go of what does not serve me and take it day by day. I'll learn eventually. But I realized that most of what I do were given to me by others. I was living a lie. Truthfully there is nothing to do. At the moment it just feels so hard to squeeze any authentic joy out of life without being burdened by shoulds and survival needs. It's fucking exhausting and my soul feels miserable. I want to be free. Although I dont i understand the full implications of that. Peace,love.
  6. Yo. I did some molly (120mg) with a good friend of mine. He is very, very, very, smart. He also has watched basically all of the actualized videos. Especially the last 2 ( authority, and reality) which helped the trip alot. He was on 3g of mushrooms. The trip was just a trip, a journey, it happened you know. This is what went down: I AM. HAHAHA I love you (me), if i want nothing matters it just is idk why im writing this to you (ME) to try and prove you (ME) that I am you (ME) BUDDY IM THE WHOLE FUCKING UNIVERSE I am that There is no other. PLEASE SHOW ME AN OTHER. WHERE, WHERE, WHERE can it beee??? pff I feel powerful, grounded, surrendered, NOT blissfull. NOT perfect happiness. NOT... suffering = bliss. Nonduality. transcend the struggle. embrace fear to get to love to fall back in to fear to infinitely dance in bondage until our final... idk lol IDK if this is gonna last. PROBABLY, HOPEFULLY. im really down to become a fucking unconscious idiot again and wake the fuck up again. Yo who cares. REALLLLLLLY interested to see any replies to this. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY? NO, Im WRONG? BAHAHHA. (indulging in infinite I AMness at the moment) pardon my humanity. @Leo Gura
  7. @Leo Gura lol fuck. ok. Thank you.
  8. @pluto Wow, beautiful man. Also really cool, vid. I get the vibe. Fuck the tree tho.
  9. @Mondsee Kriya is difficult to start so take it easy. You don't have to worry about awakening any specific chakra. Just do the practices as instructed and your system should balance out. Give the Kriya thread on this forum a read, especially Leo's advice lol. He basically says u just need 3 practices. Kriya supreme fire, Maha mudra, and kriya pranayama. oh lol didn't know. um, i'm really not sure to be honest. the only way to know is to test it out. do 2 weeks nofap and journal the results.
  10. Kriya yoga dude. that shit is super powerful at awaking your kundalini (life force). It melts all blockages and pulls the energy into your top 2 chakras. Instructions are in Leo's book list. Also NOFAP. dont cum. it ruins your life. sex is fine. gl
  11. @The Don How do you meditate all the time? Do it. How else will you know? Basic mindfulness is all you need. DO IT NOW.
  12. Kinda like a journal entry + forum post: Somewhere on this journey i have created the belief that to be pursuing Truth, with all its various duties, one has to stop to caring about their own well being. Thinking along the lines of; tending to the self is deception or farther from the Truth, all desires are feelings and can be let go of, i am a programmed biological entity and need to transcend that. Well it turns out that my life fucking sucks beleiving that bullshit. Lmao. I need a sense of worth, purpose, love, expression, and creativity. I can and should be an asshole at time (assertivness and integrity). Spirituality...i honestly no very little of. I literally know nothing about Truth, i just meditate and think sometimes lol. I think I've always had a default position of Low SE and spirituality kind of aided my ego, with the idea of no-self and self eradication. It actually gave me an identity, something to strive for, a cop out for dealing with my inadequacy, and it also embraces suffering instead of practically solving it. My question is one of balance. Life purpose and enlightenment. (I know this has been discussed countless times before) How can i balance being a selfish little devil and also Truth (consciousness work)? How do I know what is right? Any general rules of thumb for staying on track? How do i go about being a selfish little devil and actualizing my whole amazing life without demonzing it as bad? (wow, realizing so much uncoscious beleifs) i understand that these are really up to me to decide, but in your life, when can you tell that you've overdone the ego, life purpose, striving thing. i like music, i am a musician, a great one, and i feel amazing when i play, i am amazing, theres just guilt there, and anger, born of love. I want everyone to have what i have, well at least the people suffering. But i cant even give myself what i want. I deserve it, i am amazing. thanks.
  13. This guy is woke. You can tell he's sharing from experience. Awesome. Vipassana is blessed. And the fruition he talks about (void, oblivion) is really just an unconscious non-dual state. Similar to various samadhi states etc. And for some reason when you come out of these states - usually near the end of a vipassana retreat, or not - you feel lighter, as if you've been slightly purified. It's a cool system by Mahasi Sayadaw But this should'nt discount the hundreds of hours of noting meditation lol. SOOO much noting.
  14. @jim123It's not about angels or demons or anything like that. He's not leading a cult or secretly murdering people. He is authentically expressing the energy within, he calls it God, it helps him to transcend ego, and he is not hurting anyone in the process. We can project all we want onto him but that is just our egos and not him. It is crazy, he's on a different level. But for him, in his experience, theres nothing to judge becuase there is no individual with preferences. He's God, like Leo says, God accepts all, God is pure, infinite, accepting love. He literally gives no fucks about us and our petty judgements becuase all he does is express and accept himself unconditionally while we sit in our ego and try to control our urges. SUM UP: Do 5 meo.
  15. @jim123 me lol. He transcends his ego during that dance. Obviously it looks strange from our perspective we haven't done 5meo dozens of times. He's literally channeling God.
  16. Study the greats, read autobiographies and biographies of Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Elton John. Get a taste of what it takes to be a revolutionary musician. Then drop acid a couple times, tour with an album, meet girls, and travel the world. And DONT FOCUS ON COPYWRITE AND PERFECTION. JUST WRITE A SONG A WEEK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, THATS HOW PASSION IS MADE
  17. Somewhere on this path i have developed a high amount of repressed anger and energy. It feels hot, tense, and concentrated, it's located in my neck and shoulders, and it comes up stronger when i go against my intuition and start worrying. If it could speak it was say something like "FUUUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, STUPID FUCKING PHYSICAL REALITY FUCKING FEELINGS AND SHIT AND DESIRES AND THOUGHTS! AGGH". on the other spectrum it makes me depressed and listless because i dont understand it. Communicating my feelings to others seems hard, i try but feel as if i wont be understood. Any help is appreciated.
  18. @who chit @David Hammond wow, thank you so much. I do meditate, but I guess i just need to be more conscious despite everything. I have to change my relationship to this experience. And i can't comprehend what it will morph into, only observe the process slowly, carefully, and with much love. All my problems arise from lack of observation i feel. I will observe and melt.
  19. @Aldo All practices are just trying to get you conscious of the present moment. Cold showers, meditation, self-inquiry ie. All just direct your attention to different aspects of the Now Don't get attached to the method, just focus on being conscious, actual, present.
  20. I've fallen asleep dozens of times to the videos lol. Its a classic self-deception.. "ya lets listen to Sameness vs difference at 10pm after an 8 hour shift in bed" . But at least it gets absorbed into my subconscious.
  21. Hello guys, From April 24th - May 1st ill be doing a solo retreat in a cabin in the woods. Im excited but im just hesitant as to what i should practice. Ive done plenty of Vipassana retreats in the past 2 years and id like to try a variation of it. I understand a basic mindfulness practice is necessary in the begininng of a retreat to sharpen the mind. I was just gonna do like 4 days of Vipassana and then the last few days throw in some Self-Inquiry. Although i dont have a daily SI practice it sounds like fun. There's also the possibilty of reduced sleep time, fasting, and psychedelics... What are your suggestions? If you were doing a 1 week Solo-Retreat what would you practice? Thanks!
  22. Yo, what the fuck is actual growth? What is real knowledge? How can you go from ignorance to knowing? What's really going on in this developement field? I having grasped the challenge and scope of self-actualizing until I created 0 results after 2 years of "doing" it. Ya like really, for the past 2 years I've just been faking it, scratching the surface really. A video here, half a book there, one mushroom trip, a meditation retreat. but like fastforward ALL THIS TIME AND I"M STILL BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON. So that begs the question; what really creates growth? What am i missing? What am i doing wrong? What's the bigger picture? And this is what I've learned, and in a way, i've only learned this because of my mediocre attempts at actualization from the past 2 years, it may look like a failure to many, but this is real growth from experience. Self-help is has to be 10x more intimate and personal then you think You really don't want to change your stubborn ways, you want to avoid all the complicated topics and cringey stuff, but unfortunately that is where all the growth happens When you're talking about goals and values it's obviously all about you, the vision that you want to build for yourself anf the life you want to build, try to keep that focus, of ego, when deciding what to work on with yourself Contemplating and thinking is sooooo important We don't even use our minds. Education systems don't teach us to think critically about our lives and others. This is the most valuable muscle we have as a human and it's sad to see that %99 of people get tired after 10 minutes of contemplation or planning Real knowledge and wisdom comes from deriving insights for yourself, contemplationg on book notes, videos, objects You really have to become curious of your life, suffering, needs, desires, and world The BIgger Picture is a Must trying to understand any field takes a lot, like waaay more focus and work then you thought of Something like happiness can be studied for months need to appreciate what you are trying to do when you undertake the task of gaining understanding of something, most of the time there are many linking fields that will also need study Have the expectation that you can't and will never fully understand any subject, but only a better insight Have to be proactive it basically has to be your life, that is, the search for knowledge, truth, fullfillment, and authenticity, like you have to live and breath this stuff, you can fall of the horse sometimes but in the end if you don't naturally gravitate towards it again you're fucked You're always less developed then you think Ya you're stupid and you think you're smart, and that just adds to the stupidity Notice how most sages are the most humble and modest, they accept their ignorance Don't resist the basic of personal developement, you are not above them, most of the time you think you are but you're actually just repressing the resistance Habit and patience is key A little bit everyday, keep the train rolling, It's so hard to keep learning, to finish a book, a course or a project,but that is where experience comes from OK, that's all for now. Keep actualizing, or trying to. It will all workout in the end. Peace.