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@tashawoodfall The basic Life Purpose (LP) within all life is to survive, and then thrive. So you already have a built in LP. Here are some considerations. Most people have some idea of what their LP may be. Many who cannot think of a LP are usually confused, doubtful, or not found anything, with what it may be. If confused, it maybe because what you like to do is not yet formulated. Or it is not just one thing, but two or more. For instance, perhaps one wants to be an artist but also be a botanist. A possible solution is to become a botanist illustrator/photographer. I know a scuba diver guide who has won awards for revealing miniature sea life (specifically Nudibranchs) never seen before. It is his LP and has brought much wonder and beauty to many people. If doubtful, it maybe due to some belief about your abilities to follow your LP to completion. I met a woman in her late fifties who had a dream of becoming a doctor, but a lack of education and becoming a mother created a doubt which stopped her. After all the children left home she was free to reconsider her LP. She thought, 'why not, I've got nothing to do or loose at my age.' So she went back to school, entered university and became a doctor of medicine. She retired about ten years later and now owns a block of units and her own house. If not found anything, it may be because you have not really looked into enough. In regards to career, there are thousands of career types. The Internet and the library are sources for finding out what careers are available in the world. In regards to talent, then I recommend you just follow your heart in whatever field of activity you would like to do. The artist Marc Chagall was told he had no talent, he said "To hell with talent!" He didn't care because he loved to paint, and became world known for his colorist painting style.

@Cuore Things become pointless if you don't work on it. So remember: It works if you work it. This forum allows us to find out what exactly we need to work on for self-development. Currently, I have gone back to the lower parts of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I now need to change my physiological needs to overcome a health issue. I am sure some forum members will help me find out what I need to work on in that regard.

The majority of new science and technology first came about be science fiction writers. In other words, most new ideas come from fantasy imaginings, and then it was up to the practical people to work out how to make it a reality. In this regard, fiction books are a necessity for worldly progress.

When was the last time you really spent some time admiring the night sky.

When I studied Health Science at uni, everybody in the class could identify with many of the symptoms found in the different mental disorders. Many would say "Oh my god, I've got this and I've got that". But that was not the case at all. The book that described these symptoms was called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), now the DSM-V. The difference between self diagnosis, and by those trained to do it, is to know what to look for as guided by the DSM. Mostly it is about the number or range of symptoms, and their consistency over a period of time. Example, many people may undergo certain symptoms for a few days or weeks and then get over it, and the symptoms may come back later on, or it might be only a few symptoms all the time. These may not be regarded as problematic. However, if a large number of symptoms persist for a longer period (say three or more months) then it may be problematic. That is, they may need a change in environment, or medication to get over it, since normal circumstances have not shown any improvement. Who makes these diagnosis criteria? Basically the people who suffer from the mental disorders. They are the ones with the symptoms, and over many years of monitoring and research, the health professional were able to recommend what is, or not, regarded as problematic.

You already know that you need to leave. Stop spending money on what you don't really need, and save that money. This exercise will test you and prepare you for living an independent life. In the meantime, just go through the motions of working and doing what is required to stay at home. Ignore anything negativity pointed at you. It is you taking it in that creates your suffering. When I was about your age I joined the military. There I learnt a cliche that works very well in such circumstances as you are in now. "It's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter". I would say that to myself whenever any negativity was pointed at me. I had to say that cliche to myself because I did not yet know my truth. Now that I do, I no longer need the cliche because I know what is true about what others see, or don't see, about me. The important thing to remember is that deep down, underneath all that rubbish piled on top of yourself, is that you REALLY ARE OKAY. You are a person capable of love and care, and that is part of who you REALLY ARE. This is all you need to remember when times get tough. So, start saving to get out of that negative space. Start looking forward to your independence. Create goals and make plans to manifest them. In this way you will start walking through the new world you have made for yourself.

There is no end to progress. There is always more, always deeper, for one to go. If you want a time, then simply settle for a lifetimes worth. Once I was blessed with a mentor. He was on his path of self-development for twenty years. He was so wise and serene. I said to him, "I wish I had the wisdom and serenity that you have". He said, "Why? Do you want to be twenty years older?"

Self-development is similar to experimenting with what we eat in life. Some only eat-out, some only cook their own, and most do both. Self-development often requires much transformation from the norm. Those that do so are alchemists, they do a fair bit of cooking. I was once invited to a foundation meeting for the Alternative Sciences and Technologies Research Organisation (ASTRO). While people were gathering for the meeting I was wondering around listening to people sprouting all sorts of read knowledge but without any practical experiences. It was sad to see that only one man showed any experimentation, even though he lacked practical know-how. He came to the meeting to find that know-how but found none from the others. They could not relate to him what he needed to know. @Shane597 If you can help others, through your own experience, to become more practical with their self-development, then that would be the greatest way to help others.

Basically, as soon as you let go your fears. Realistically, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Yes it is true. Let me first give you a simile. Imagine watching a dramatic horror movie on your TV. Relate to how watching it can make you feel tense and fearful. Now as seen as you shift your focus from the TV scene to the scene of the TV itself in your lounge room, all tension starts to dissipate. Even a scene of relief may be experienced. The truth about the movie was that it was make believe picture show, and not real. Likewise, come to realize the truth behind other peoples thoughts and actions by first discovering your own truth. For example, all forms of tension in a person is cause by some fear that they are believing in. For instance, an angry person is afraid of having to change their plans / attitude / perception. An anxious person is afraid of what might not go their way. On the other hand, there are those calm and soft behaviours which is caused by being loving. In all cases, see what is behind the other persons thoughts and actions. Look more for where they are coming from than where they are going with it. Some of the dramatic actions which can easily effect us, is mostly based on some irrational self-centered belief. They may have lost the plot. As they say, the truth of the matter will set you free; to are large degree. I remember a time when a very dysfunctional and angry man was sent to me for counselling. After awhile, he jumped out of his chair and suddenly leaned over my desk, planted his face in front of mine, and started screaming blue murder. However, I saw it coming and did not flinch. As he withdrew to sit back in his chair, I said calmly: "We'll work on your anger as well". He was so impressed that he was keen to come back for more counselling. However, here is something that I could not control at that time. My adrenaline hit the roof. After my client left, I noticed that my whole physiological system was buzzing at high frequency for many hours. So, to a large degree, we can avoid being effected by others thoughts and actions while understanding the truth behind it all. Oddly enough, after not seeing this client for several years, he visited me last week. He has changed so much since then. He seems to be so serene and accepting of life, and he was very accepting to talk truthfully to me. He apologized for screaming at me. He said he was afraid that he would be wasting his time with me, because he actually thought he was incapable of change.

Oh, okay. Thanks.

@TruthWhat I meant is, Is there no reality before humans appeared. What about geological formations, fossils, formation of elements and astrophysics.

The idea is to get to really be honest with yourself to see how your ego plays a role in your life. Mainly that it always seeks validation, because it is not valid, but just a story the mind has created to make sense of itself. The more validation it can gather the more energy it has to exploit itself and others for more validation. This energy (validity) is what I refer to as ego-energy or self-esteem. Esteem means 'respect and admiration'. How to get around this is to truly know and accept yourself (good and bad). Be your own judge, but be okay with yourself too, since nobody is perfect. In this way, by being true to yourself, and accepting it, you'll know that you are still okay, even without external validation. You may see yourself lower than a worm, but you will also know that this worm is still capable of loving, caring and true. From this, is where your okayness is centered/located. This transformation from basing your life on your fearful deceptive self to basing it on your loving true Self, is like building up enough self-esteem to a point of no longer needing it. You'll know when this becomes you for all that matters in life is to be true, genuine and real. You will value this above anything else, even relationships, even all the money in China (so to speak), and it all comes from within you.

It seems like you are basing reality only on recorded human history?

Live and let live. Realize that everybody is totally responsible for their OWN thoughts and actions. Tough Love. Love your mother, but not what she thinks or does that is not supporting her well-being. Just leave that bit alone.

Kieranperez, it is time for you to go to any lengths to change. Why? Because you have come to the point of believing you are a mistake, which is not true, but that is what is stopping you from changing. Remember this: Guilt is healthy because what it says is: "I made a mistake, I better not do that again". Hence we change. Shame is unhealthy because what it says is: "Because I do not change, I must be a mistake". Hence we don't change. The reason we did not change, after feeling guilty, is due to some fear. Possibly the fear of not coping with the change. However, if one does not change and keeps making the same mistake because of it, they will end up believing that they are a mistake. Hence "...is what I deserve". But NOBODY is a mistake. Shame feelings tells us that we are afraid to change, and the only way to deal with fear is to face it (accept the fear and do it anyway). It is by facing the fear is how we demythicize it, and learn that there was nothing to fear in the first place.

My words on blue What to do? Grieve. It's okay to be sad about your loss. Come to a point of acceptance so you can move on (this may take a few months). Learn how you have created your own grief through conditional love. As explained above. Learn how to love unconditionally. Don't love what that person can do for you. but love their truth. It is their truth that is innocent and expresses love unconditionally. So by loving their love that loves you, you will identify what you love is the same as the love that comes from you. In other words, the love you experience is your own and not dependent on the other person to express it. Live one day at a time. See all people as free spirits that have the right to come and go. So every time you see your next partner with you, or visiting you, remember that it is a gift. And every time they go away to do their own life in the day, be okay with the idea that you may never see them again, and be grateful to have met the person in your life. In that way, when you see them again, it will be like falling in love all over again.

@Annetta Depends on where you are coming from, your reference point, from which you regard yourself to be. If it is ego-self, then you think and behave according to the ego. If it is spiritual-self, then you think and behave according to the spirit.

I have not read the article. However, to love unconditionally is to only love the truth. Unconditional love only comes from truth, otherwise the love would come from what is untrue (deceptive and self seeking). So, what ever truth (not facts) you may find in a person, like those mentioned, is what is loved. The rest is not acknowledged as true, but as untrue acts or beliefs of a person who at those times were deluded. It is similar to a parent who loves their child though they may not like what they do, or have done. Or loving the sweat aroma of a deadly flower.

The ideal actualization is to realize / become one's full potential in terms of being their true self. Many may simply see this as discovering themselves in terms of mental and physical ability. Others may see it as spiritual development in terms of becoming a true person. Others again may have other ideas and ideals. Personally I like the spiritual side of actualization. In this regard, the idea is to realize my full spiritual potential of being a true (truthful or truth-filled) person. To do so, requires the ego to remain dormant.

@CuteCornDog Yes, I would be angry and resentful if that happened to my dog. Yet, after going through my grief and loss of my dog, I know I would have to come to a point of acceptance, or else I will be nursing a grudge which only drains my life energy for no reason. After all, Omar Mateen is dead. Personally, I have lost many loved ones in my life. In fact I was at a funeral last Thursday. It seems the older I get more frequent funerals come around. It is sad, and being sad is okay. It has a way of reminding us how much we valued what is now lost, and how blessed we were to experience that value while it was with us. And we can accept that too.

The default mode for the ego is exploitation. It does this because no matter what we know, collect, gather and claim for the self, it will never be enough because the self is empty/nothing. It cannot be filled because it is nothing but a fabricated story for the mind to make some sort of sense of itself. During exploitation everything and anything will eventually be used and wasted, and ALL FOR NOTHING.

We all experience anger and resentment. They are just two of the many forms of fear. How to deal with it? In a nutshell. Acceptance. Accept everything that is not, and has not, gone your way. Don't worry, you'll still be okay if things don't go the way you would like them to.

To be the Truth is much more than just being honest or being truthful. It is much more than enlightenment. It is being only the Being, for it is True. Truth is uncreated light, the source of all that is real. It a person became the Truth they would transfigure into uncreated light (not photon based light). A light Being. Some spiritual people have transfigured. It is also the source of halos and such.

My words in blue. No matter how bad an experience, one can learn something else from it. The first time I came across this lesson came about after reading a book by Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning".