Max_V

@Nahm Tried to meditate this morning, I felt horrible. It litteraly felt as if I was going to die. My heart beating fast, anxiety rushing through my body. I just don't know what to do anymore, and I'm quite over it. All this fear and stress, why can't everything just be in it's place and peaceful? Everytime I feel the quality of my consciousness raising, there is always my mind that tries to deny and disown. It feels quite horrible. Once every 2 months, I feel like I'm unsafe, like death could be approaching every minute

I am very afraid of death. Have not yet experienced an insight on how what I really am never dies. All I need to do to move forward is face this fear right?

I've always felt this neurotic need inside of me to have someone that loves me. Now that I am getting to the end of my teen years this feeling is getting intenser. With meditation and deep looking what I've discovered is that I want this love from someone else because I don't feel love for myself. Whenever I see a beautiful girl smile at me, I get so attached that I feel sad and depressed after she passes because I know I will probably never see her again. That makes me feel alone and sepperated. I just want someone to hug with, share amazing experiences with and be happy with. Never has it felt this intense for me, it is hurting not only emotionaly, but also physiologically. Primarily aches in my chest and my belly How to cultivate love within myself, so I can become more self accepting and loving? This is something very close to me. Thanks everyone, Max

@egoless Look up tantra. It is a way of integrating sex into spiritual practice. Transforming sexual energy into spiritual energy.

it happened again. There was this beautiful waitress at my hotel. She helped us about 3 times during the 3 days I was there. Every day I hoped to see her again. I just felt super attached to her when she looked me in my eyes Now that I've left the hotel to continue the travels, I feel this intense sadness. It all feels so lonely and far away. Something inside of me doesn't want to let go. Really weird how a look in my eyes makes me feel this intense attachment and love. @Loreena @Shin @ajasatya @Visitor @Shin What methods did you use to get over it? I will try to go deep into the feeling next time it comes up, I have the feeling I can really go deep with this.

@Nahm Yes, I have been meditating at different locations lately. I meditate at a zen-do I go to every week and now with traveling I have been meditating in hotels, and outside. Quite beautiful that the mind quiets itself after some time when left alone. Doesn't matter where you are at all

Man I wish I could meditate here. Currently on vacation in Austria Post some photo's of awesome spots you meditated at

@egoeimai I do, but this scenic landscape isn't really there. It's mostly cities and villages

Thanks guys I will watch the videos @Joseph Maynor

I've found that whenever I'm not mindful or feeling at peace, this guilty and dirty feeling comes up. What came to me was that apparently I've associated being conscious or always feeling peaceful into my identity,. So all in all, be careful on the path with attaching to high consciousness. When I think of my "self" at the moment, I think of a me as the conscious person in the family, and the person that is doing good. Ofcourse, when I cannot live up to that, I suffer. So I will be working hard to detach myself from this perspective on who I think I am. It will take a while but I believe that when I get far with this, more peace will be upon me.

@Loreena Thanks that gives me some hope

@Loreena Isn't it so that girls don't look for guys that can't love themselves? I'm also quite a shy dude, so it's pretty hard for me to talk to every girl I just meet. After summer vacation I'm going to my new school, that might be a good possibility for me to learn to socialize better. @aurum Yes I'd really like to. Haven't tried any other way then through school though

Might not be a very helpful question, but what game(s) do you play? Interested since I like playing myself too

This is actually a wonderful topic with a great message, thanks for reminding me OP!

I meditate 20 minutes every morning, also some concentration practice beforehand. Gives me a big boost throughout the day

@Ilya Contemplating your own death is actually something pretty profound in my opinion

@Shin I've discovered with nofap that I self pleasure primarily because I feel alone and not loved. So now that I've been doing loving kindness meditations and being compassionate with myself, there was a long while during those 9 days that I even forgot about sex and masturbation. But ofcourse with my hormones rushing at this age, even if I solve my underlying lackings, I still get arroused very quickly. So it will just be a lot of mindfulness work that will assist me here I think. Also, awesome you got to one month, that's really insane! Keep up the amazing work!

@Shin That seems so far away... I took it to 9 days but then I just couldn't take it anymore and fell for the trap :/.

Going to my first workshop! Rupert Spira is coming to Amsterdam, so I'll be going there on my own. My first time doing something like this so I'm quite nervous haha. It will all be worth it in the end though, his teaching really speaks to me. Any of you guys going too?

@How to be wise Sorry but I have to disagree here. To be in the presence of someone enlightened already is something very profound. Hearing someone like that talk in person is something that no book could ever replace. To add to that, I have an anxiety problem. Fundamentally with meeting new people and being on my own. So not only will I attend something amazing, I will also test my capability to face this. In the program, early in the morning you do a guided meditation together with the group and after that there is room for questions. I am looking forward to it a lot, even though I'm very nervous

With the heart chakra, I've been visualizing myself loving the wall that I've built around my heart. Puttimg your hand on your heart and then visualizing it spreading love throughout your body. (Visualizing breathing into it helps a lot too! ) This will help you forgive yourself and allow your heart chakra to open.

@Shin Have been able to learn tantra, the problem is I had a wet dream. Should I count that as a relapse? Also with tantra I've been able to make the 8 day mark, which I haven't before.

I have heard you guys talk about these stages before, could anyone explain to me what these mean? @WaterfallMachine Thanks a lot!

I have this too, mostly when I'm in big crowds, I get tired real quick. So before meditation I always sleep like 15 min, that helps a lot

@Dodo Really like your signature, Rupert Spira is such an amazing teacher in my opinion