Girzo

What about spices? When it comes to loosing weight then eating oatmeal/groats > meat. I would suggest eating groats + steamed veggies to every meal with meat. And cutting amount of meat you eat by half. You will feel full, thanks to fiber contained in oatmeal and groats. Fruit - you can eat as much as you can. If you are hungry then it's better to eat 2 bananas than to consume the same amount of calories from meat. I have been eating like that for few months, went down to 75 kg (I am 180 cm tall) and actually have the opposite problem. I can't force myself to eat enough to sustain that weight, and I don't want to come back to fries or consuming more meat. And nuts are great. I recommend a handful of them everyday. You could think that they don't help, because they are very dense in calories, but the opposite is true, since they increase how much calories your body burns. Just start cleaning your diet and it itself will work wonders! You have the right idea, I would only restrict calories on meat, try to go as much vegan as possible and practical for you.

@alyra I am speaking from my own experience. I was becoming anxious and trying to maintain 1:1 ratio at least. That's pure neurosis. I feel better off without reputation. There's no reason to sustain this feedback loop of gratification and fire neurons responsible for neurotic behaviours everytime you post. Some people can bear with it without a problem, for me it was a distraction.

If that's vague, then you probably never had any Enlightment experience and don't know what is being talked about. Or maybe you had and it has strucked you as something else, totally not death. I am curious what would that be then?

It does. It actually makes an issue a non-issue. How do I know? From a direct experience. Am I deluded? Maybe, but not on the level of thought. What would that be? Because it's a fucking trickster, I got fooled enough in my life to know that. I mean, I fooled myself and probably will fool myself in the future. Undoubtfully, but I try to minimze impact of these errors by looking for other methods of accessing truths. And yes I know that tricking you into thinking that mind lies and then starting to tell you truths, so you don't believe them is one of the tricks up the mind's sleeves. That's why you are always one step behind, but also one step in front, because your mind is no different than you. That's where my knowledge ends, the rest is uncharted territory for me.

Will do! I have already established a goal to try to lower my seriousness to appropiate level for tomorrow. (That means zero seriousness.) As you can guess looking at my avatar I am a kind of person with a stick up his ass, so it will be as difficult as baking perfect choco creamy pudding with cherry on top.

There is no point in living. Also, there is no point in ending it prematurely. But it seems like you haven't really grasped that yet, because you assign a lot of meaning to this issue. More like you will remember it forever. Your mind has you in it's grips, you need to stop trusting bullshit it produces. I am sorry if it sounds incompassionate, I just can't put it better in words.

I have already started seeing postive impact of removed reputation on my own behaviour. Please keep it removed. I have noticed that now I am more egalitarian and put much more attention to what others write. @alyra If someone really has helped you, then you can write a post showing your gratitude. And it wasn't that big of a help to write a post about it, then there's also no need to possibly build up someone's ego with reputation points. The points can also be a distraction for newbies and give unhealthy authority for older users.

@DocHoliday Thanks for the video. At first when I saw it I was judgmental and have thought: 'What is this shit? Am I really going to waste 6 minutes on random YouTube video?' Now after I have finished watching, it turns out it wasn't wasted time at all. I got a good laugh and looking in the mirror I have realized that facial expressions and posture impact mood and behaviour. Now I want to laugh more, smile more, even dance more! Thank you for that.

Please notice that you won't read on this forum that you should meditate 8 hours straight daily, because guys and gals practicing that hard don't have time to post on Actualized.org I would say meditate as much as you can! All day, all night. But I know it might be impossible considering everyone has to survive, so plan a week-long retreat and see what benefits long periods of meditation give, you can then compare it with shorter sessions and develop an understanding of how much meditation is enough for your purposes. Cheers

Compassion towards you, egoless. (if you need it) I never understood the spiritual drama. I hope there's none or very little of it on my personal path. It always have seemed paradoxical to me that Nothing (which is another name for Truth) could hurt you. Because if nothing can hurt you, then everything can hurt you, so if that's true, is there being hurt at all? That's why the pain seems uneccessary for me, but hey! If it happens, then it happens and there's no point in resisting it.

I will agree with @DocHoliday that "fight" might be not the most appropiate word in a such context, because of all the presuppositions connected with it. And you don't need to be Enlightened to care about ecology, but since you ask for it I believe you have some valid-looking reason for that. Can I know what would that be? Why would the person have to be Enlightened in order to co-work at your project?

Checkout this channel: Charisma on Command. This article - The Conversationalist - might also be a helpful and interesting read for you! Cheers.

Just don't. Don't tell them if they don't want to listen and be ok with whatever they are thinking about you. Their opinion doesn't have much of an impact on your life and can change anytime. If I were you, I would contemplate this question: Do opinions of others matter? If no, then why do I feel anxiety, pain or even care at all?

Not really. If you can oppose something to non-duality, then it becomes a duality, so you are not really speaking about Non-duality. Good point, Natasha! Good point.

If you want to read more on this topic, then I recommend for you OSHO's book called The Search: Finding Your Inner Power, Your Potential It's a book about Ten Oxes with very profound comments, nicely wrapped up in words. Easy and fast to read. It has helped me with grasping a few things for the first time and induced a nice blissful state after I was done with reading. OSHO's book are very repetitive, like there are exactly the same words reprinted in many books, but this one is kind of unique, so I recommend reading it despite that fact.

+1 for RSDMax's content

Here's a report from my first trip on low-medium dose of this substance if you like to read that stuff and want to know more about it: SET&SETTING: 12.2017 // Thursday. Skipped lessons and went home. Being alone XX mg of white powder was weighted and ingested oral route. Using water could have been a bad idea, but I couldn't swallow the paper it was put on in any other way. Next time prepare vodka or distilled water. I was lacking sleep on that day. Prior to the experience I was talking with classmates at school, it has affected a mood of the trip heavily. PART ONE - QUICK ONSET: Bodyload was felt. More intense than on AL-LAD, for sure, but it wasn't not a problem. There was some shaking and feeling cold. During this phase "The Best of Blackmill" playlist was listened to on headphones. Effects started showing up after 15 minutes. Intensity of psychedelic effects reached it's peak in about hour. It's a very quick acting psychedelic. It was hard to focus on anything. Very strong OEV and dreamy CEVs. A lot of random stuff happening. Nothing really interesting. I was role-playing a talk with my classmate and imagining prom night. Very photorealistical renditions of humans in winter clothes smiling at me. It felt like watching a movie. In my mind I have also seen some random photo of totally ordinary couple done with a shitty camera at the evening. I will laugh my ass off if I ever see those people in real life. Chaotic experience. Music didn't really help this time. I was surprised with the quick onset and intensity of it. Yet, I think the dose was too low. Later on everything became more manageable, too much manageable. PART TWO - NO MUSIC: I have tried to contemplate nature of reality and failed terribly. Too much thinking. Need to work on it. Went to the bathroom and seen my face in the mirror. Reflection was 3D and I had fun wondering who is more real, reflected or standing me. After that, did some animalistic movements and roared a few times. I still feel blocked and limited inside. What I did contemplate was social conditioning. How we are setup to live and not really living because of that. I came to conclusion that I haven't started using this life yet. We as the modern people are mass produced and not really developed, each of us individually. I have to start taking action in the world, enjoy life using body and mind. Started playing songs from my "Songs to Try on Psychedelics" playlist, cried at "Stereo Sayan 3D", although music enchancing effects started to wear off by the time. (self-reflection: I write too much) PART THREE - THE WALK: Went on the walk. Thought about how cancer is a feature not a bug. That humanity is gambling as a species with it's fast development. That there's balance to everything. And you know what? It was fucking amazing. I have enjoyed every step made in the snow and danced like a crazy motherfucker. After that did some chores with smile on my face. COCNLUSIONS: More preparation. Higher dose. Start living your life. Learn to let go. Everything is simple and easy, you just need to go for it. Have a vision of how you want your life to look like. There are many levels of understanding, prepare for that so you don't end up dumbfounded.

***DISCLAIMER: I won't share the dose, as my stuff is partly degraded and every batch is different, let's just say it was high.*** "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." SET&SETTING: 01.2018 // Monday, after school. Plan was to take it, pass the peak at home and go on the walk. It failed terribly, parents came back in the middle of the peak, so I had to wait for it to come down a little bit until I could interact with them and even then it was totally bizzare, like I was talking with some egyptian gods. I wonder how weird I am on the daily basis that they didn't even say a word looking at how I behave. Maybe I was acting normally and it's just a drug that made every action look ridiculous in my eyes. Ingestion: emtpy stomach, glass of lemon juice to dissolve powder. Tip for next trip - wait for it to dissolve completly, otherwise some will be left on the glass. No bodyload throughout the whole trip other than a slight burning caused by vasoconstriction on the come up and off set of the trip. PART ONE - TAKES AGES TO LOAD, THEN EVERYTHING TURNS INSIDE OUT: I have waited for visuals to kick in before drinking water. Turns out I didn't take enough of it, because I was thirsty when parents came home. Listening to music, dancing, etc. When it kicked in, then it KICKED IN. I was sitting on the sofa with music turned off when room started to shrink and expand alternately. I felt my body fully, everything was getting heavily distroted. Everything was vibrant and full of life. Cushions on the sofa started flowing and were hypnotising. Just thinking about it makes my heart shiver. I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen. Then my reality started looping, muliplying, translating. It was a wisdom overload, I was hardly keeping up with the experience. Actually, there was no I for a moment, then it reemerged, then got lost again. I didn't take it beautifully, there was a lot of resistance, the dose took me by surprise, which sounds stupid when I write this now, considering how ridiculously high the dose was. I tried to meditate, which was so absurd considering what was happening, I was aware of that, nevertheless there was an urge to do something, so I was taking a meditative posture and getting crushed down to the sofa repeatedly, laughing a lot, having insights well beyond thoughts. There was almost no control over the experience. KEY INSIGHTS: Seeing life as an endless, complete loop. Everything is inclusive and complete. Sort of +- polarity kind of thing. I can't really explain it. I bet there's a spritiual book or trip report that explains this experience. Everything is right just the way it is. Death and life is the same thing. Looking through the window, all the trees felt like a fractal mockup. Like it was an artificial reality. The bathroom was the home of visual patterns crawling up the walls and bathroom utensils, these felt evil and were red-colored. Looking in the mirror my face was resembling a clay frog, emoticon-like symbols of expressions appeared floating in front of my face. Nothing really interesting, I was just passing time and preparing for a walk. PART TWO - SACRED GEOMETRY OF NIGHT SKY: I know from where did the notion of astretisms (patterns of stars in the night sky) come from. They were so vivid and unique. I could spin around and looking up into the sky everything got fractalized. I had occasion to do that thanks to deciding to go on the walk. A lot of profound thoughts flooded my mind. On this dose, the comedown was stronger than peak of 25mg trip and lasted for 3 hours. Everything was so wild and obvious at the same time. Very enjoyable experience. I felt urge to rather consume the experience in silence, rather than analyizing it intelectually, which is very encouraged and rewarding on AL-LAD. I felt other perspectives as bubbles. People in my life, objects, all having a separate bubble of reality. Those bubbles are constantly moving and merging, all affecting each other. I felt a very strong influence of cosmos on how my life looks like. The feeling that everything is right the way it is stayed with me for the whole next day after the trip. COCNLUSIONS: Why would I believe that I exist? That's such a stupid notion. There's no separate I and probably no existing reality, but the second statement needs more proof. I should tell parents that I take psychedelic drugs. I live with them. Although, I have seen those insights, now they feel distant and unreal. I am figuring a way how to incorporate them in everyday experience. Yet, there's a change in how I look at the world, will see if it lasts longer than 2 weeks. The day after, when I heard lyrics of Infected Mushroom's song "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." , I instantly knew what they are talking about. A strange loop, which reality is. Those guys know their music.

For sure I can recommend it. It's well-known, safe and cheap.

BTW, I AM STILL JOURNALING: Currently at the 90th day, consistently, without missing any single day.

Any Osho's book with love in title. I've read a few of them and these often have reapeating content, but it's always a good content. You can choose whichever you like based on cover.

@phoenix666 I have got my best friend into psychedelics. But he is more of a Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of guy, he is tripping not for spiritual purposes, but to find motivation, vision, solution to relationship problems, etc. Yup, he has wasted his whole first trip imagining he is an Iron Man flying through the streets. But yeah, most people will just look at you in a weird way when you mention psychedelics, because they have their own opinions, even though they know close to nothing about any substance. @gleb Thanks for your answer! That's what I would like to achieve. More authenticity and honesty in my life, because I am tired of making up lies, it's almost like a habit.

@brovakhiin 4-HO-MiPT is a very popular, legal tryptamine in my country. Easily accessible and tested by many people. Those were the main reasons to choose it over something like 4-AcO-DMT or 4-HO-MET. I have read trip reports from all over the internet and decided to give it a go. @phoenix666 I stayed cool, because I am a cold, non-reactive bad boy. Either that, or I was too high to care. No, but really I shat my pants a little at first, because my plans got derailed. Leaving house was easy, as I had prepared everything: water, chocolate, reflective band, jacket, etc. I just grabed my stuff, told parents I am leaving and left. @Leo Gura Yeah, I have time to reconsider doing that. It's not like I would like to convert them or anything. It would just be convenient if I could store bottles of reagents in visible places, ask for time to trip, so I don't have to lie to them that I was drinking and can't drive, etc. Yet, I am not sure if I want to take a burden of becoming a psychedlic sheep in the family.

Curious, where would you apply if you don't know what you want to be doing in life? I mean, what major would you choose?

"Bakuman" manga is very inspirational and shows it's done. Complete hero's journey to becoming a world class manga artist. Just replace manga with any kind of illustration you are doing and you have an recipe for complete mastery.