Girzo

I know what you're feeling. But now imagine advancing to the next level and feeling radically more aware compared to your current state, as much as you have felt compared to your previous state. And now realize that there are 1000's of levels to go, each radically different. That's the level of a spiritual master. Please don't fool yourself and pay credit where it's due. You have been taking psychedelics, I think that is a real reason of your recent advancement, not a any sort of natural talent. And remeber that there's still long way to go. I have to repeat that to myself everyday. I hope it will help you too!

It's funny how you are scared of "shroom god" Maybe you should start taking action as he told you? Stuff like that can happen when you are falling asleep, especially after taking psychedelics. When you fall asleep your body and mind are kind of turning off, so glitches can happen. And I experience tinnitus often too, mostly during meditation with varying intensity, so there's nothing to worry about with those binaural sounds. In what position do you sleep? I have heard that sleeping on your side with head directed anywhere but north is best for you.

NLP could be legit, I have never really researched it, but not every course is. There's a lot of amateurs making them, people who shouldn't be doing it and are only in for money, people who tell you only the stuff you can find on the internet, people who are not practicing what they are preaching (common problem, there are many liars like these in investing niche, they try to sell you road to riches they have never tested, because their road is selling you shitty, untested advice) That's why I believe self-education is the way to go. If I had to attend a course it would have to be a seminar by a top-class professional or something that depends mainly on my efforts, like a retreat. There's no point in settling down for less. Learning by yourself is better than attending a mediocre course, because you are not wasting time on commuting, you save money and learn how to be better at learining.

Anything, but not Toastmasters I mean it can be good, but you need to have a luck and find a good group. I know a guy who was going to their meetings for 3 years and you know what? He still sucks (he has made improvements fod sure, but yeah...). And you need to pay for that. It's just that the results/price ratio of Toastmasters doesn't look appealing to me. What I would suggest is a 10 min exercise you probably have seen somewhere. Take an item (ex. roll of toilet paper) and talk to it for 10 minutes everyday. If you goal public speaking then give it a speech, if your goal is to learn pick up then seduce it, if your goal is to become funny then say random shit and throw there from time to time a funny story from your life. Simple and effective, you can do that while sitting on the toilet (like me).

My go-to resource when it comes to nutrition is NutritionFacts.org. A LOT of valuable information about building a healthy diet available here. You can make use of it even if you are not vegan, like me. Like really, REALLY you have to at least take a glance at this channel. You won't regret. And no, no-one has paid me for that. Learning basic principles from this site is a good first step in cleaning up your diet.

#31 I have integrated myself after the trauma of breaking a leg. Research on a plant-based diet gave me few interesting insights about my own dieting habits. I think my concepts on nutrition are now more aligned with the truth about this topic. Will see. I am cutting half of my animal protein intake and doubling on greens, legumes and fruits. I really need to convert my notebooks to digital version. I crave drugs, good things I actually know it would be an escapism to take them right now. I have a lot of other worthwhile stuff to do right now. Work on my diet, finishing The Natural course, searching for life purpose. I did massive research on darknet markets. It's just a distraction, because I don't plan on buying anything there anywhere in the future, but curiosity has won. I already have had some knowledge, but it needed refreshing.

Not should, but could. Before using psychedelics, I would recommend to wait until you encounter a really big obstacle, so you can get the most out of this experience.

If you have said then it was just weird and uneccessary. I know that from your point of view it might seem like a bold thing to say, but for external observer it looks like a way of justifying yourself. And that's not sexy at all. You know, all that "I am not good enough" notion is a big no-no.

They were old friends who had lost a battle over the fortress, their lord died then and they became ronins. Now they have lost again, because their new-met friends have died and they still have nowhere to go. But they have repayed the moral debt samurais were due to villagers and saved them. That makes villagers a true winner. That's what I remember from the movie, you can interpret it in many different ways.

#30 - I need to learn to focus more. - Am I addicted to intoxication? It seems like it. I over-stuff myself with food or numb with endless browsing of web. It lowers consciousness and is the only way in which I can escape doing productive, emotionally demanding work. I wonder if replacing all that with meditation whenever I want will help with the problem. I also need to sleep more. + I have manged to do some work today anyway,

There are no deadly shrooms looking like magic ones growing in Poland. The worst that can hapen is that you will throw up and get ill for a few days. Just make sure you are NOT gathering them in or directly nearby the forest. You can get a lot of help from folks over the HyperReal.info forums, but they mostly speak Polish. Anyways, I wouldn't eat shrooms without having them checked by someone else in person, because it would make me anxious about a trip.

Review older material if you want more. There's still a lot of juice in some episodes. And some of the episodes are so deep, that watching them even 3 times is not enough, so you can also do that. There's no need for Leo to release more weekly epsiodes. I would actually prefer to see a new course or excerpts from his book, rather than watching more weekly stuff. I mean a week is not even enough to incorporate knowledge from one episode into your life. Why would you want to have even less time?

#29 - My leg hurts, my mood hurts. MOOD TRACKER UPDATE: It's hard to overestimate power of psychedlics

It's a September's calendar page illustration I had to do for school. "Grzyby" means shrooms in Polish.

this hole is there for the Light to shine through

I don't know anything about your niche, but there is this Netflix's documentary called "Hot Girls Wanted" showing how amateur porn bussiness works. You might want to watch it and see how it looks like.

When I have tripped on AL-LAD there was a lot of symbolism. It wasn't as cosmic as you describe, but more "classic" like devils, fire, sun, eye, reflections of mirrors in the mirrors, in the mirrors, etc. I haven't really thought about focusing on those colorful geometric shapes, there was so much stuff going beside them, I was too distracted. I will try next time, if you say it's worth it.

@Peter Zemskov That's a thing with emotions. They go up and down, up and down...

#28 - Fuck it. I have fainted again. Why do I stress so much about a leg? + I went to a hospital. It turns out it's just a stress and I am perfectly healthy, all the results were good. It took around 5 hours, but a sense of relief is worth that. I was prescribed Tramadol as a painkiller. I am not taking it because of possible interactions with effects of LSD I took a week ago. I will wait those 10 days minimum to regain tolerance. Also it has a terrible list of side-effects and is basically an opium, which is in my opinion an overkill for my symptoms.

It's not a crazy thought at all. Some would even say: "Why just one month?!". There are many ways to support that kind of lifestyle, ex. freelancing over the internet or building a profitable bussiness and then selling it for a big sum. Or cutting down expenses and living in a van as mentioned. But too much traveling could become a distraction, so your option sounds quite balanced. Whatever you choose, I wish you luck on your journey!

In moments like these I like to look at myself and examine if I really am that detached or just repressing my feelings. Non-dual techings are good at hiding this disconection, not solving it. Maybe taking a look into Shadow Work or bioenergotherapy would be beneficial for you. It was a case for me, maybe it will also be for you.

#27 + I am tired, but my awareness is high as never. - Which may be not so high, because I got so happy when school ended that I fell off the stairs and have broken my leg. I want it to make me sad, but it's by some weird reason not the case. - After that I have fainted and tripped into darkness. It was scary. As I was coming back there were more and more trippy visuals and I felt enormous anxiety and being trapped. Then suddenly ego popped back into it's place and I became a normal person again. I know it took only a few clock minutes, but felt much longer. Like much, much longer, but can't tell exactly. I thought it's interesting, because I have fainted in the past, but never remembered that altered reality. And it isn't a cosy place at all. Really, I don't want to go back there at all... +- Based on that story and fear I felt, I can say I am not ready for enlightement. But I guess no-one is...

I find your replies to her funny as hell. So I suppose she doesn't react well only because of how you are saying it, not what. Work on that and don't be butthurt.

I do translations on Fiverr.

#26 + Psychedelics really did sky-rocket my consciousness level. Now I really know what self-inquiry done right feels like. I wonder how long it will last. +- I have had a lot emotional release throughout the day. It happens subconsciously. I think it might be related to the fact that I am currently reading "Love, Sex and Heart" by Alexander Lowen. + I paid a guy to do a job for me today. Feels entrepreneurial. TOPICS TO RESEARCH: Art of conversation, hiring and working with people.