Girzo

To me it sounds like a normal lucid dream. And yeah, I can agree that reality chcecks doesn't always work, that's why I do at least a few, before deciding to jump through the window (looking at hands and counting fingers, poking things, looking at hour or text a few times, jumping up and feeling less gravity, breathing while holding a nose, etc.)

I feel like you focus too much on division between "happy period of life" and sad one. Obviously you feel like a piece of shit. You should always expect that. It goes in circles, around and around. Whenever you get any progress the wounded ego strikes back trying to survive and puts you in homeosthasis. It's a process, feeling good and bad are parts of one thing. If you have choosen a practice you should stick to it and come back to it as soon as you have noticed you stopped doing it. Don't make division between "back then" and "now". It's a trap in which I have fallen many times, beware - be aware.

Man, I am sending you love, tons of love, rays of warm light through your computer screen. And I'm not gay. Because I know what you are feeling, I feel the same, my parents were often distant, literally and metaphorically. To resolve that problem I am currently doing self-love practice based on Leo's video about self-acceptance. I have set up timer for an every day of the week to help me remember about it. I have heard that these books are great. Haven't got time to read them yet. The Dark Side of the Inner Child by Stephen Wolinsky The Family by John Bradshaw (almost all his books are on topic and might be helpful for you)

When you will put all these great things into practice you will see that there's no need for friends who are into self-help.

I don't think there's enough people on board to create any meaningful groups, so creating a sub-forum would be an overkill. But you can always check out this thread and reach out to people who live in your area:

I think that this excerpt from The Impersonal Life might help you with your struggle. Relax yourself, take a few deep breaths and read it with open mind. The I in this text is your Enlightened, Impersonal Self, the Real You. BTW I find this book a real goldmine for self-inquiry topics.

@How to be wise it's like saying there are no side effects to thinking all day about sex or killing yourself, because you are not consuming anything. That's not true.

@Christos but that's exactly a problem, he wants to buy a ground and work for it 15 years to pay a mortgage. For me that's a definition of being a modern slave, capitalism, workaholic, good consumer, etc. If his goal was to go into nature and connect with people, like you say from self-sufficient communities, to help them and contribute, then I guess no-one would be against it. Instead, it seems like Moreira is trying to avoid growth he needs and just fake his peace by escaping from people.

@Leo Gura and because of that he seems like a handicapped person. I guess no-one on self-actualizing path really wants to be like a full-blown child, because there's no need to. It just makes you look handicapped.

I personally print list of habits similar to yours every month. I list them without order of importance, add bullets to the complex ones, color with blue the one most important habit that is prioritized, bold other habits and techniques that I would prefer to work on this month and add few more just in case if I have enough free time to work on something else. And I change this list every month to see what works, I choose what to add based Leo's list from "Start Here" post and intuition. Maybe reading that will help you with your own stuff.

@nian If you are wondering if there is connection between gura and guru, then I think I can answer it for you. Gura means "mountain" and since Leo was born in Russia it's highly possible it's his real name.

I think Sedona Method is similar to Shadow Work and there is already a pretty good topic that can help you with understanding it's role in personal development. It's by no means a substitute for self-inquiry/enlightment exercises.

Ok, you feel superior, but why do you consider that as an issue in the first place. How does that limit you?

Making it easier to access forums doesn't necessarily sound like a good idea. Also, apps cost, have their own problems and require maintenance. And on top I already feel like I am spending to much time on the Actualized.org visiting it daily. And I believe I am not the only one who feels that way. Idea of making it more convenient doesn't appeal to me, mainly because it's already convenient enough.

Two weeks in. No masturbation, no wet dreams. I didn't even plan to do a nofap, it just came out spontanouesly as a result of physical exercising 6 times a week. No real desire to do that, but I already was clean from porn for a long time, so maybe that's why it's so easy. I almost started to worry if I am not overtraining, but I stil wake up with a tent im my room every morning, so I guess eveything's good. The main difference that I noticed during those two weeks is that girls started to look prettier. I won't talk about other possible benefits, because I am also cleaning up my diet and believe that factor has more impact on things like energy levels, mood, etc. So can't really judge wheter nofap affects them or not.

You know what? I am not an authority to say that, but I believe that Leo would be 10x happier hearing that someone watches his videos once a week, or even once a month on a carefully selected topic that's important in one's life at that given moment and takes action on what have been said every-fcking-day, than hearing someone is doing mental masturbation daily listening to Leo's opinions and doesn't actually take any serious action on personal development. What most of us need is more practice, not more theory. Sorry for being a little bit rantish here. For 18 months, I've been missusing the information that Leo gives, by not applying it in my life.

This. Knowing where you are and what you want makes you good enough to have sex. Basically you don't need any mad skills, because in the end a girl chooses you to fuck, not your skills. The two most important factors in pick up: knowing what you're doing with your life AND taking action. So, I would just make sure that my life is not like a sinking Titanic and invite a girl to it. Be lazy, be straightforward, if that's what you feel. You will be amazed how effective this approach can be (I was amazed that it works at all ). But you need to be authentic, passionate, so a girl has something to be attracted to. Wow, that's pretty huge number. In that case I would stick to meditation too, but are you sure there is no room for some social interactions? Like on a way to work, gym, school, etc. You said that you have approach anxiety and I think it's great. With such powerful meditation habit you can approach a lot and create a lot of anxiety, that can be later dissolved during meditation and used to grow, to get rid of neurosis. BTW, how long do you practice your meditation habit?

But are you putting this time into meditation right now? You see, it's better to do pickup than procrastinate. Don't assume it will be wasted time and don't worry about the future, just do what feels right to do at the present moment. Choose that one thing, focus on it solely (it can be pick up) and start hardcore self-actualizing already!

I've seen someone on the forum mentioning Jodorowsky's Dune (2013) as an inspiration, motivation for finding a life purpose. I agree, it's a great movie about creating movies and interesting director. Can really give you an idea of what living a life purpose is. In my opinion Bakuman manga is very similar to that movie. It's a manga about creating a manga and mastering this field. Extremly motivating, especially if one wants to pursue his life purpose in art. Or at least I felt that way. You can buy it on Amazon or probably find it for free on some manga reading website in your language if you are not English speaking. What are your favourite works of art that inspire the journey? Can you come up with some good examples?

To become a hacker, learn cybersecurity first. EdX is a great place to start. https://www.edx.org/micromasters/ritx-cybersecurity

Białystok, Poland

@Lou7 What's the name of the festival you have been to? I am really curious.

Choose and focus on one habit that you feel like is going to make a biggest change in your life right now and focus solely on that. Other changes will start to come after that. For example, I started exercising. Then for your exercising to have a positive effect you need a proper diet and a lot of sleep, so two more habits are emerging on your path at their own. Then when you have a solid foundation, i.e you exercise daily, you can choose to start having a meditataion before or after training. That's like 3 extra good habits coming from incorporating just one.

@Prabhaker Osho's quote here, please!

Benefits of not fapping, that I am sure of, are better skin and less acne. You can start to see the effects as soon as the next day. I try to hesitate from fapping, mainly because it's easy for it to become an addiction. I guess that's where the most benefits of no-fapping come from, you are simply removing another addiction that's fucking up your brain with instant gratification. I've heard the opposite to be true. But I do believe, that some people can have imagination so vivid, that they feel like having a real intercourse. For me it's not a case. I certainly can feel a difference between having a sex with somebody and masturbation by myself.