Girzo

Homeosthasis is a bitch. Also, I often forget about a bigger goal. I need to remind myself consistently that why is more important than how. Because when focusing only on 'how', I loose a motivation and a struggle to build a habit becomes much harder than it could be. That's why it is important to develop awareness and consistently ask yourself questions about where your life is going. It gives you motivation to make changes.

As others have said there is also 1P-LSD. Maybe you could do a research on that and decide if it's a better option.

#12 - Lack of sleep will kill me. + I got another $68 in sales today. +- There's a lot of work to do this week. I see it as an oppurtinity to develop work ethic and improve daily routine. - I have realized I got back to old weight from a month ago. It's not tragic, under 80kg and I am 180cm tall, but I would like to get lean.

Guys, please stop with that sucking-a-cow's-tits bullshit Animals don't do that, because they are too stupid or weak to get a milk. Like for example, take cat and give it some milk. It will crave it like crazy, if a cat could talk it would be like: "OMG, man... Where did you get that stuff?! Can I get some more?". Have you ever seen a bear attacking a cow? It's scary as fuck. So, do you know what those motherfuckers do first? They start eating a cow from the tits. They don't even bother to kill it first, they just go straight for the sweetest piece of meat.

#11 - My routine sucks... + ...but who cares? I am feeling soo good. - I will pay for that tomorrow. + But for now let's enjoy and look at what I have done today: 4x4x400m intervals run, 20 min meditation, went to school, earned $20. Ate 5 bananas plus 3 apples and one... onion. Weirdest mix of my life. A weird part is that it actually has tasted good.

@HII my hypothesis is that it is that way because of survival. There are certain risks and benefits associated with being solo and living in a group. In a group you have more possibilities, but also you can be cheated and you have to fight your way through a social ladder. Being solo on the other gives you more independence, and is also harder, but in a different way. In a group you have to struggle emotionally, on your own you have to struggle physicaly. That's why I believe that introversion is the default mode, because physical survival comes first and social needs are after that. So, assume you're introvert. You will get drained in social situations, because you need to analyze things you are not used to analyze, like others' mimics, voice tone, behaviour, social position, gestures, kinesthetics, etc. Basically, all the building blocks of a society. It requires mental and physical effort, because perspective and chemical balance in your body changes in order to fit in new conditions. You will "burn fuel" on that. "Refueling" happens automatically when you are not using it. Then assume you are consistent with socializing, your environment is full of people and encourages you to become extraverted. And then something in your life changes, let's say you become isolated in the mountains. You will feel mad, because you have all those brain structures for socializing and nobody to socialize with. They need to be rebuild again and that will require some time and energy. I believe that on a high enough level of psychological development there is an optimal configuration that's both introverted and extroverted at the same time, but you have to go through all that mess in order to discover and achieve it. Have I answered your questions?

All the problems would be still there and amplified, because most of the people who want to escape society struggles with living in it, so a new society created by them would be dysfunctional as well. And you already pointed it out. I guess there is not much to talk about. Solitude is the way.

#10 + Sometimes I feel like a con artist. I have taken a challenge and completed an order that was way above my capabilities. Feels good right now, because I have learned something new. + I was overall more conscious and calm today. +- I have had spontaneous visual hallucinations. I was collecting quince fruits and suddenly trees started moving and merging with each other. It's very easy to snap out of these visuals, but also very pleasant to play with them. I have bad distance sight and it's easyfor me to see unusual stuff. Sometimes I see a haystack on grassland, then I come closer and suddenly haystack becomes a cow. It's very trippy and funny. It's like the brain can interpret the same raw data in two completly different ways based on expectations and it's amazing how sudden and drastic the switch is. - I still eat too much. But I don't blame myself, winter is coming, temperatures are jumping up and down and my body is overall confused, so it's not surprising I want to eat non-stop. Solution: more consciousness work, so I have the power to execute techniques that will help me getting lean.

#9 - BINGE (I haven't eaten dinner today and that fucked me up. I binged on milk, bread, sugar and cheese. Pro-tip: don't make eating one meal too much an excuse to eat one more, and one more.) Sometimes it really feels like there is a Pig living inside. - I am stressed out from work. + I have done a lot of work today.

I don't feel like there is a real difference between introverts and extroverts. In my experience it's more like a state, which can be changed according to conditions. Your body can run on carbs or fats. I think it's the same for the emotional part of you. It can run either on social interactions or solitude. So that drain that some introverts experience is just that they didn't have enough time to change their power source and are low on fuel. It takes some time. In the same sense extroverts can feel immense boredom and depression when alone, because they are spending their power reserves and can't refuel from being in solitude unless they change their operating mode. I think that introversion is like a default mode for people, just like carbs diet. It's possible to change into extrovert, just as it is possible to live off a keto diet, but it requires effort.

#8 + I went bowling with friends. - Low consciousness day.

God has infinitely many limited, relative life purposes. Your life is like a frame in a movie which is God, your life purpose is like a pixel in a frame that contributes to something bigger than itself, nevertheless, without the frames there wouldn't be a movie. Remeber that so-called 'ego-death' is not really a death, in my opinion it's more like a switch of perspective.

#7 +- I have skipped school in order to work on stuff people bought from me yesterday. There wasn't anything interesting going on anyways. +- I drove to McDonalds for free coffee. Coupon clipping mentality all the way. +- I did binge eat, but only good stuff, and only after I had finished running. +- 20 minutes of meditation only. +- I am in a weird mood where I want to talk non-stop and I am kind of very friendly. + I have experienced few moments today that simply can't be put into the words. It's not that they were very profund, but non-symbolic nevertheless. It's like the whole world stops, but things are happening anyway and you don't feel bad about the way your life is, and you almost get that everything that happens is democratic and feels close to samadhi from what I have read. I haven't experienced it yet, but I feel like I am going to experience that thing that people call samadhi. Maybe 40-60 hours od SDS more and I will get there. But I don't have any expectations really, it's just monkey-mind writing. +- Yeah, I am too talkative today.

#6 + I have written cold calling script, so bussiness habit goal for today is almost completed. + I have got $68 in sales today. + 1 hour of SDS meditation. + Physical pain from taking psychedelics has disappeared completly. (it took 48h) + I did strength training and running. - I feel like I don't have enough time and I am afraid of burnout.

#5 - Effects from taking psychedlics slowly fade, yet my muscles are still somewhat tense and heart aches a little bit. - I didn't do proper meditation today. - I took a friend and we went to a Toastmasters meeting. It sucks, I don't know if it just was a bad day or it always sucks like that. I won a hot questions contest there. + I started bussiness habit with a friend. We have created a board on Trello with goals for tommorow. Baby steps. + I feel more socially aware and overall in a very good and funny mood, but on the other side maintainig this state makes me tired AF.

There might be an easy fix for your problems, just stop meditating before sleep. Do it during a time when you are the most awake. This should at least reduce your unpleasant experiences.

#4 - My heart aches from muscle tension created by al-lad. + I have meditiated SDT for 1 hour as good as never. - I had a dream about kissing a girl that I have kissed before, but now she has a boyfriend. It was a pleasant dream, but after waking up it felf like a nightmare and I couldn't sleep. + I am in a good mood and feel much more stable emotionally compared to a week ago. - For some weird reason school stresses me out, I never have had that. + I enjoyed a cool walk through the forest in the sunshine today. Total silence, total calmness and trees full of colors. Yellows, reds, browns and greens bringing smile to my face.

#3 + I have taken half a tab of AL-LAD, feels good. + I have grasped that ordinary is extraordinary and extraordinary is ordinary. + I have partially grasped that God hides behind the Devil's mask. (both insights are more a results of meditation, but al-lad boosts the process and reconnects you with your body nicely)

#2 + I have watched movie with friends. - I haven't talked with any girl and didn't go clubbing today.

I have a friend with Tourette's. He had ticks and no doctor could determine what his illness is. So he went to bigger city, did DNA tests and it turns out he has Tourette's. Now he has a right prescription, takes drugs and has no ticks. So the solution is simple, if you think you have some illness then go to some doctor. If he says that you are well, but that doesn't convince you then you should go and take some DNA tests, these will tell you a truth.

I am somewhere in-between picture I and picture II. After two years of knowing about enlightment I finally start to feel a desire towards the Truth.

Bold decision to make, but totally possible to acomplish. More and more people are throwing their studies and looking for alternative path. If you decide to make that change then mind homeosthasis. Making drastic changes to one's life can be a really hellish experience. You may also experience a burnout after a few months of hustling with work&travel lifestyle, especially if you haven't done that in the past. Nevertheless, I think it's still totally worth it! (But don't take my words too serious, I have been working abroad only for two weeks)

Great article on communication that I can recommend for you is right there. Have a nice read!

Maybe they can bend the reality, but you don't know about it. Maybe they do that all the time in other universes inaccessible for you at the moment. Maybe they will never be able to do that in this universe you live in, as it's You, The Real You who desire for it to be in a such way.

If you have no success at pick up then stop it and start developing yourself in other areas in life. Positive effects of that development will overflow onto the pick up practice as time goes by. You have my word for it.