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About MissMiki

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  1. The lonliness is there, but you can and are perfectly capable of cultivating self fulfillment. But wow, the feeling of FREEDOM, is so delicious. I almost don't want to ever report back home because I like not being influenced by my family. It is even a good way to explore hidden extroverted parts of your being. Go be friendly with people. If an awkward situation arises, what's the problem? you're travelling and can move on both spacially and mentally on your own time. If you are over it, you can always go home. You are always welcome home, no matter how far you go.
  2. @Steph1988 First, let's not watch la Haine. There's too much springtime out to stay inside and watch some movie about a bunch of angsty poor kids kill eachother out of ignorance... I will say that you have helped me question my knee-jerk responses. Yes, I am very rooted in multiculturalism and deal with the awkward miscommunications that happen more dynamically than most, and I like that. I do not like the suburban environment I came from and feel that I didn't have any culture of my own, so I voraciously filled the void with anything that I saw as more beautiful and rich. I was lucky to meet a Puerto Rican recently who had a huge passion for Irish culture, which caused me to rexamine and enjoy some of my European roots which had been severed earlier in the century. I still totally encourage a love afair with other cultures just for fun. It does seem like you are really moderate, and reasonable in your expecations for yourself and your country. Yes I am aware that some Muslims think it's okay to kill because god told them so. Just speaking for myself now, it seems pointless for me to be personally involved in that whole thing when I am more able to influence other varieties of cooks, especially through compassionate awareness. I actually feel pretty powerful in my powerlessness. I don't ever feel like the agressor or the agressed because I lead such a simple life. When my fellow Americans blow the danger out of proportion, to me it seems like it's entertainment and like they are sticking their heads in the sand. I see them repost things about how horrible Mohammed was, but not getting involved in the community or going to the Islamic Center to just say hi. I would rather see both. No judgement though, because we only have time to do so much. Perhaps, at this point, more what I would advocate is to be open to those organic moments of learning that arise naturally as you cross paths with other people in general, and to of course, not hide your differences too much. As for the person who started this post, it kinda makes me giggle and think of the song "everyone's a little bit racist sometimes..."
  3. Ok, I will watch it again too because it's been some years, so I will probably have a different understanding completely. Considering what you just said, I actually just read the autobiography of Russell Means (leader of the notorious American Indian Movement). He suggested that mixing between the tribes really weakend their collective cultures and believe mainstream Amreican Indian culture is now a joke of what it was in the past because of all the dilution. I personally am very multi-cultural, which can sometimes bother people who are very tight with their heritage. It can be frustrating sometimes, but I have chosen to surround myself with a culture that has celebrated multiculturalism for so long, that I feel like I still find depth and support, but I did feel lonely and confused for a very long time before I really found my footing and self-worth. Questioning all my culturally-informed beliefs was probably good, but certainly not pleasant.
  4. The Iching is soooo old. The translation I use has removed all of the yin/yang symbology which was added in the shang dynasty, which is cool because it's less governed by masculine vs feminine and more by beautiful imagery. I did people's readings at an art gathering last week and made some really good tips. People who are artsy seem to allow more whimsical lines of thought into their realities which is so beautiful. I do the reading by just having them throw and line up 6 coins and then I tutn to that page (which is so easy!) This artsy kind of free association allows me to watch the body language of the reciever, and I usually interpret the imagery in a way that I know the person needs to hear it. I don't cast any doubt on my process which is key. I hold their attention deeply and let them know that the universe hears them and that they are beautiful and should have more faith in themselves, however that comes out. I think my favorite reading was an ex alcoholic who had her idea to reconnect with her AA family validated by the reading. I gave her a little Reiki too, and I could tell that something in her began to emerge and hopefully release somewhat.
  5. A quick side note is that yes, I have also seen first hand how those who are disenfranchised may internalize a victim or reactinary mindset that no longer serves them after a conflict has ended. I have had problems with mindset, aslo, so thanks to Leo for putting some perspective on that.
  6. You could watch Little Mosque on the Prairie or La Haine (both works of fiction). I wish I could link you this story that came out in the local magazine this week about how a 26 year old refugee has been adapting to life in the US ever since she immigrated 5 years ago from Afganistan. Definitely a success story. I did watch the video you posted, and learned something from it, specifically historical information that really does broaden my understanding of the back and forth fight between civilizations. I worry about how his overall atitude is influenced by more sinister motivations (conciously or unconciously), because yes our war was very profitable for a few select corporations. I also believe that a growing number of Americans believe that our own government may have had something to do with planning the 911 bombings (take it or leave it). Either way, what unfair trade policies could we have had to provoke such an attack anyways? Of course, how can we know if the war zone refugees are radicalized or not anyways, well honestly I don't know what our policy has been... To bring it back to self development, maybe the reason why I look at it the way I do, and continue to have an interest in immigrant rights is because I have seen first hand how large systems can have a tendency to swallow up or completely disenfranchise normal human beings who have different cultural backgrounds or political status. I would be deeply moved to work in any immigrant/minority community (new or old) to help maintain the flow of resources and cultural exchange. Immigrants add so so much to our economy and rainbow of cultures here. It's why I'm fluent in Spanish, and why I know so much about traditions and histories outside of the one in which I was raised. I get tired of how stagnant my parents worldview can be, so that also has something to do with it.
  7. I could totally share some fun media that would tell a different story, but I'm gonna challenge you to share something enriching of the opossing viewpoint. @Steph1988 To be fair, I'll nominate Ayaan Hirsi Ali. While overall, I lean away from the overall narrative that her work is used to support, I have to give her full respect for telling her story and her truth, and for her bravery and for expanding my worldview significantly.
  8. I am finding that I have been forced to live on the other side of the looking glass. It is very weird trying to communicate with people who live conventional lives. I think I am waaaay more confident now because I've had no choice but to find myself where I happen to be, and I am so over shaming myself. Have you ever tried the mirror or rose techniques? I like those. Also, the further over the edge I go, the more I like it, so I embrace it, and try to learn how to more skillfully read people and confidently deepen their understanding of the world. It all builds my confidence even more to feel special like this. I like feeling special. My answer right now is to move to another state. I know everything I have to do to live a successful, weird, happy life, and I think that will coalesce more easily with distance (especially from my mom). Sometimes I can see how being surrounded by people who live in entirely rock and roll makes it very tricky for me to live my dreams of hip hop. Ideally I'd like to enjoy both, and mix the two, but some people can't handle multiculturalism, and I don't want to ignore one of my very beautiful halves.
  9. I was criticized a lot for studying buddhism. No one in my family or peer group or even my partner understood why I would care to study how to sit quietly. All they had associated with the practice was a bunch of projected memories of how buddhists had been so self-righteous and uppity around them. I totally relate, because I've felt intimidated and insulted pseudo-buddhists before as well. But all this criticism built in me sooooo much painful turmoil, that I wouldn't even do a daily sit in the morning. I would just pretend to sleep if I wanted some peace and quiet. It was unbelievably hard to live like this, not knowing how I could simply ask to be more silent, without coming across as very awkward. It was so sad because studying buddhism not only brought me peace and solace, but it also brought me closer to the people in those very same relationships. It caused me so much distress to no be accepted as the growing, learning, hoping for more person that I am that I broke and made some very bad choices that I regret because they hurt me and other people. Just consider. It is very hard to develop a peaceful dynamic when the message from the get-go is that you're not welcome here.... I also want to mention that while we sort out the aspects of this that are related to racism and the aspects that are related to ideology, maybe consider some economic, cultural, age, social and gender components too. Just be kind to those around you, and try to see into them, and be willing to release your projections. Also be willing to let them see into you. Maybe they can learn something beautiful about how you do life, even if they have to release some of their projections.
  10. I think if you get to involved in fixing someone else's life, that can sometimes send the very insidious message that that person needs to be saved. They are already capable of saving themselves. You can also sacrifice yourself too much, which is bad for everybody. That's why they have to remind people on airplanes to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help your child put it on. If the parent passes out, then what is the child gonna do? It's so easy to be compassionate, and you absolutely should be. Have good boundaries about when you are nearing your own exhaustion. Remember that there are a lot of things that young people tend to ignore like having a financial safety net, developing good relationships with themselves and others, understanding their own psychology. Don't use compassion as a means to skip over these steps entirely. Rather, capitalize on compassion. Use it for your own nourishment. Let those you help know that they are actually helping you, so they can feel good about receiving help. I like your idea of making selflessness a habit.
  11. I used to use selflessness as a way to avoid accepting my own value and examining my needs and as a self-righteous way to avoid advice. I destroyed my life, and didn't create very much positive change in the world. I am still glad I chose that path because it revealed to me some very deep humbling truths about the world and about myself. I accept now, that if I don't take care of my needs first then everything I am doing for other people will colapse. I also accept that one of my needs is contributing to the lives of others in significant ways, so I let myself be idealistic because being cut-and-dry pragmatic isn't going to work for me either.
  12. I remember when my (American) mom was having night terrors before we flew to Prague. She was terrified of going over the iron curtain. It brought her memories of the nuclear fallout prevention videos they had to watch at her school. Like how the fuck is ducking under your desk gonna help you in a nuclear explosion!? Anyways, we had a great time in Prague, despite the irrational fears subsiding deep in my mom's brain! Point being, I think fear is very real, and has definite impacts on us in unforseable ways. Maybe the best thing to do is to walk right into it with courage and love. As an adult, you will live in a very different world than the one you were raised to be a part of. Go forth and create that new world now before it gets claimed by unconcious fear.
  13. I have pretty serious lymph issues, and there are some really uncomfortable knots that pop up especially when I'm stressed. I don't know if you're experincing the same thing as me.... I know that when I am enjoying life, relieved of my stress, eating well and drinking lots of water and using a humidifier, symotoms subside. Getting all of those things straight is kinda hit or miss though.
  14. Studying the occult takes courage because it is that which cannot be defined. You just have to try it on, and if it makes sense to you, use it. If it doesn't make sense to you then you don't need it yet. If you feel curious about trying something, then that is the best time to learn about it. Why are you interested in the Chakras? Chakras are just kind of blobs of generalized goings-on all about the body. I just took a class on Reiki. It was really valuable to be phisically present because energy work can be hard to conceptualize. It was more valuable to have been studying healing for some time now as well.
  15. When I worked grocery, I noticed that the management buddies would get together and spread their knowledge at the cigarette circle. I used to be jealous in a twisted way that I wasn't more of a drinker/smoker/gossip. One theory that I hate, but sometimes seems true is FUMU: Fuck up, move up. If it's true, then I am embracing it fully. I am gonna use every "fuck up" as a way to advance my life and create comradderie. I don't think I need to get addicted to anything new for that to happen. Secondly, if I had really wanted to advance my career in grocery, I am sure there could have been many cut and dry pathways. If I really wanted to make friends with the management, I could have talked to ones who were more open to my energy, or I could have had fun weasling my way into the smoking circle by treating everyone to coconut water. Yes, this might take a little courage and creativity and embracing social awkwardness, but when you realize that they are just little kids on the inside too, we can go play with them.