Hugo Oliveira

I'm not feeling a genuine interest in anything specific in life for a while. It started right before my first psychedelic experiences which opened me to the notion of conditioning, real freedom/happiness, and spirituality. I'm struggling to find myself and sink into a path and connection, but I couldn't do it yet. I tried with psychedelics again because it brought me many answers before, but at a certain point, it started to make things worse. Sometimes I think that feeling lonely and lost may be part of a spiritual awakening or a bigger process that I'm not fully aware of. Kind of dark night of the soul (?) Sometimes I think that I lack personal development, sociability, and emotional growth to make my life better and open up the possibilities. In some moments I think that I should just "let go" and see what happens in my life. I have some money to spend and a lot of potential in art, design thinking, and sports. I have some projects and planed some adventures in my head. But nothing really "clicks" and makes real sense inside. The feeling of emptiness, sometimes depression, and lack of interest make me feel lost. I'm doing yoga and meditation a lot, but I don't notice much self-improvement by this. Some days the boredom is so intense and I'm trying to "escape" through toxic habits. I am having professional support (therapy and antidepressants). Just to mention. I contemplated it a lot but it is still not clear to me what could be done. I want to feel my authentic self, to connect with others and life, to touch beauty again. I'd love to know if you guys have some points about it. Thanks <3

@Preety_India It sounds like a good strategy. Instead of trying to fix with a single solution, to create a healthier and happier "environment" that gives base and space to things flow and move on. I got your advice! Thank you.

These points are valid and go against mainstream conditioned thinking which is good too! I would just suggest not turning it into an ideology. You may not have too much certainty about what really is success and happiness in life and your high ambitions may not be the ultimate authority. Mainly in the life of others. Again, you mentioned good insights! And I hope it is contributing to your path.

@Preety_India You probably should share this text outside of the forum. It is insightful and you have good writing skills. Do you have Medium? That could be a good one!

I really appreciated each one of the responses. And think they have the power to refine my perspective. I want to write down some of your points in order to embody them deeply. I already had a conversation with @Nahm and he is always insightful. A huge thank you to each one who answered here. I think that your ideas can be useful for other members in the future as well.

Yes, I know there's nothing wrong with sex. But the point is, I'm still feeling the need to go deeper in my masculinity, in my capacity to connect with women. I think I'm an average guy, I'm not wanting a monogamous relationship and I do have some colorful friendships here and there. But I'm also feeling lonely A LOT, and it hurts, I'm seeing a lot of emotional and psychological trauma being triggered all the time for this lack of connection and it's being hard to let go of it, even though I feel powerless and week sometimes, I have also moments of inspirations and I know I'm able to solve problems get the shit done. So I have this motivation to go out and see what is possible. I went into pickup for a while and it was draining, I got some results, but I felt so empty, attached, inauthentic, and felt like my level of consciousness got weakened. I'm a really sensitive guy and consider very much the importance of spiritual growth. When I see myself "selling" my energy, thoughts and time for these pure materialistic outcomes like women and relationships, I feel guilty and doing the wrong stuff. So I feel like there is this division and I'm not clear about a better approach. Do you guys have any insight about it? Thank you so much =)

There are many types of parties like these. I went a lot in the past. I recommend the most underground and less popular ones. Even though there are many huge festivals that are amazing like Burning Man, Universo Paralello (here in Brazil) Boom (Portugal), and so on. You have to try it out and see how much you connect. For a while, these parties were part of my spiritual exploration. With a bit of LSD (of course). I think there are intentions, strong energies, strong connections in these environments. The high level of music and art can be amazing, mainly if you are open-minded. It doesn't need to be a lifestyle. But I consider that it can be very significant and MUCH MORE than a "party".

I can't imagine myself sharing more than 20% of my time and energy with someone else. But if you are really OK with yourself and your life, you like the person and feel that it can be fun, I'd say go for it.

Check the book "hunger for ecstasy".

Hey! I graduated in multimedia, today I work with motion graphics and do some videos as a hobby. But I ran a filmmaking business for a while. People really need all kinds of videos. We produced for weddings but you can produce videoclips for example. You need to create a small portfolio/marketing (not a huge investment) them, when you got a client, you contract another videomakers freelancers (good ones) and direct them to make things according to your brand. It can be very artistic and fun. Of course, there is some stress in the process, but if you want it and enjoy the whole thing, it can be very good and you also can automatize a lot. Just contemplate well the idea (and the investment) if you decide to do something like this. Another thing that maybe connects better with your case is to use your van to go out find stories and create independent documentaries haha not sure how you'll profit but you can find out. It seems to me like an exciting adventure and you can learn a lot and help people in a powerful way by sharing information.

You're right. Things may not be too easy or magical or instantaneous. What I wanted to question is the statement that "dissatisfaction is inherent to this and that". We are always interpreting according to how we see and experience stuff. Why does one choose to fall in love with a paradigm like nihilism as if it were the ultimate reality?

In my experience, thinking in terms of levels of consciousness/energy seems very reasonable. When you access better levels, clarity, creativity, connection, love opens up to you and you discover that dissatisfaction is very much based on "energy" and limited paradigms. It may not be too obvious because we tend to be stuck for long periods in low levels of perception. But if you break through at least once, you get it. In my experience, fasting, yoga, and psychedelics worked well. You have to find what is powerful and can elevate you. Rationalizing and complaining about how you think reality is doesn't help too much.

Learn marketing, create some VFX super packs, put it or any other stuff to sell automatically, and go do whatever you want. That's it.

First, regarding level up your "skills", I think that you have to balance a lot with what feels natural for you, for the girl, and for the moment. A golden rule for me is not wanting to be performative like a porn actor and instead, do things with patience, being present, and having fun. About the toys, I have some experience with vibrators like "magic wand" and it is probably the most functional toy you'll find out there. Haha, I like it a lot and some girls go fucking crazy. But again, you have to be balanced, honest, and to know how and when to use it (not rocket science). DM if you need!

Are you aware of models, contents, and teachers available out there to help you exactly with this process? I'm not sure if a forum is the best place to find this kind of answer. You can research about iconscious model and try to get a conversation with Ted Strauss.

How is it possible for some people to live for their ego, full of mundane experiences, sex, orgies, status, appearances, and at the same time they seem so woke and living from elevated states of consciousness, enjoying absolute freedom, alignment with the universe, connection and love? Maybe this is just appearances and I'm deluded about these people. But this theory is hard to accept. The only answer I had is that maybe they have a great relationship with psychedelics and have amazing awakenings every time they want to. Does someone know a person like this? Someone could explain such a thing?

I want to get aligned. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving towards higher frequencies, acceptance, and harmony. I'm doing yoga, praying, exercising. But I'm suffering from addiction (smoking and coffee). And I feel like stuck in density. And it's taking too much time to overcome so I feel lost and hopeless sometimes. My mind is disturbing me all day long talking about spirituality while most of the time I'm motivated only for pursuing sex. I believe in myself to get through it. I know I can overcome all this shit. I ALREADY DID IT before. But this conflict is taking too long.

Talking to her, at the end of the day, depends on how badly do you want it. Even the most healthy, confident, and handsome guys, even dating coaches can feel as much afraid as you are. So, this shit is part of the game. Whatever you choose, do it as an act of love for yourself. But I suggest to enjoy the terror and go ahead, you can have fun and growth even in the worst-case scenario. Remember that this specific challenge with the girl and the results of it will not define who you are. Will not make you a loser or a superhero. I think you are wrong about this perspective, please, reflect upon it and take it easy! I would suggest you watch some James Marchal infield approaches that feel very natural and human as a way to get inspired. But I think these videos are off now. Anyway, you don't need them, and if you really want to talk to her which I think you do, you don't have much time to lose. Say hello, ask her name. You can even say that you are creeped out with the situation (if you want to). But look at her eyes and tell the truth. The truth that you want to take her on a date.

Don't be stuck in too much rationality about it. What you are telling yourself is that you need to have absolute control of things in a mechanical way and that isn't true. For sure you can think about it. Just don't get lost or limit yourself in this need for manipulation. Things will reveal themselves along the way. As you meet her, it becomes clear to you what is good for both in terms of activities. About places, I suggest two things: 1. Don't fuck the logistics and the good atmosphere for interaction. 2. If you go a bit outside of the box sometimes, you become interesting. Use your creativity and common sense to make this bet. No need to be spider-man here. Just get the notion that you can venture. (alternative concerts, nature, art galleries, romantic places...)

My sleep was healthy before taking 2.5g of mushrooms some years ago, After it, a had insomnia for some months. I got better after using EFT, but still taking too long to fall asleep. Recently I took a small dose of LDS and can't sleep again for more than a week. My doctor prescribed a med that "works" but I'm avoiding because it only helps when I take it, don't solve my insomnia and I'm developing resistance. I would love to know if someone passed through something similar. Thank you!

Could you describe it better? Is it some behavior or desire?

SOMA breath gave me almost instant relief. It's free and worth trying. I suggest visiting their website.

I'm really curious about it. He has great feedbacks from Tonny Solo who is a good guy into pick up I think. I'm wondering if his course isn't just some meditations contextualized with non-duality theory and bla bla

Hey guys! Just returned a few days ago from a solo 5 days retreat. I did a lot of meditation + kundalini and kriya yoga practices combined with fruits diet and 2 days fasting. AAaaaaaannd..... as soon as I returned I perceived consistent results in my spirituality. I'm amazed because these are the first results I could really see without using psychedelics (YEEAH IT'S POSSIBLE!! <3). Among these effects, yesterday while I was driving, I had a strong feeling of love and connection with existence combined with synchronicities and insights. But along this experience, I perceive myself feeling some discomfort and fear. It's like if I was alternating between this connection with the divine and total ignorance about life and existence and feeling lost. Then my mind comes in, and I had some conflicting and neurotic thoughts. For example, I was listening to a song and the singer said something deeply aligned with what I was thinking. But after that, my mind started to consider in a paranoid way, all the songs as if they are communicating personally with me. So I'd like to ask you: How can I avoid to be trapped in this kind of paranoia? How can I better differentiate true insights from crazy thinking? And how people like Leo can do such intense psychedelic trips and be safe against confusion in these "places" where reality is being so deeply questioned? Much love for all of you!