I want to move on (stuckness)

[Hugo Oliveira]

I'm not feeling a genuine interest in anything specific in life for a while. It started right before my first psychedelic experiences which opened me to the notion of conditioning, real freedom/happiness, and spirituality. 

I'm struggling to find myself and sink into a path and connection, but I couldn't do it yet. I tried with psychedelics again because it brought me many answers before, but at a certain point, it started to make things worse. 

Sometimes I think that feeling lonely and lost may be part of a spiritual awakening or a bigger process that I'm not fully aware of. Kind of dark night of the soul (?)

Sometimes I think that I lack personal development, sociability, and emotional growth to make my life better and open up the possibilities. In some moments I think that I should just "let go" and see what happens in my life.

I have some money to spend and a lot of potential in art, design thinking, and sports. I have some projects and planed some adventures in my head. But nothing really "clicks" and makes real sense inside. The feeling of emptiness, sometimes depression, and lack of interest make me feel lost. 

I'm doing yoga and meditation a lot, but I don't notice much self-improvement by this.

Some days the boredom is so intense and I'm trying to "escape" through toxic habits. I am having professional support (therapy and antidepressants). Just to mention. 

I contemplated it a lot but it is still not clear to me what could be done. I want to feel my authentic self, to connect with others and life, to touch beauty again.

I'd love to know if you guys have some points about it. 

Thanks <3

 

[Preety_India]

 

@Hugo Oliveira

You are lost right now. You're going through a crisis. It's good that you recognize this.  Be fully aware of your emotions.  

What is happening to you is pretty common. It happens because of a lack of a proper framework in life. You haven't created a functioning life system for yourself 

I'll say create your own life system that is specifically tailored for your  needs. What I mean here is create a setup of things and activities that will make you happier than you are now and do things that will improve your overall situation 

Doing so gives you a boost to lead life with interest and motivation. What I see in your post is a deep lack of motivation. I could have easily written your post myself. 

I'll say hold off the psychedelics for a bit. The problem with spirituality is that it can sometimes steer you off the real path and make you a bit of a nomad which is very pretty common, this happened to me as well, but it's not the end of your spiritual journey yet. The problem is that spirituality starts leeching you from other areas of life, it's like if you are watching too much of the scenery while driving, you'll forget driving. So you need to bring back your focus a bit and not get too swayed by your spiritual practice, although it's necessary to keep your spiritual practices always going on in the background. Don't make it mainstream 

Now you will need a specific chart that tells you what things you need to that you can classify as "useful purposes " like reading, exercise, hobbies and work related things. This chart should also contain things that you need to avoid, like certain addictions, distractions and things that you know are unhealthy for you. 

Religiously follow this chart everyday and write down your productivity results. Reward yourself whenever you do things that are necessary to improve your life and give you a sense of direction. You could use a point system for rewards or deposit some loose cash in your piggy box or give yourself a treat every week as a reward. This way you motivate yourself to push forward. 

Also Tony Robbins has helped me to be consistently on my path. Watch his videos on youtube. Watch motivational videos on youtube. They are great every morning for upliftment. 

Create a tight routine to keep yourself well immersed and engaged. 

[Hugo Oliveira]

@Preety_India  It sounds like a good strategy. Instead of trying to fix with a single solution, to create a healthier and happier "environment" that gives base and space to things flow and move on. I got your advice! Thank you. 

[Surfingthewave]

@Hugo Oliveira

Welcome to the path my friend. Don't be so hard on yourself. 

What if you were to just sit in this bored/restless state for a while. Watch it pass by. Invite your feelings in with loving kindness. 

You're doing all the right things. Surrender seeking and you'll get to where you need to be.