Nahm

Doing this in the mirror for a day ?

@Monkey-man You have over 600 posts. How are you seeing this as if for the first time? Selfless love is unconditional, selfless. The more separate self centered one is, the more delusional, the more suffering. Love is only experienced at the thinking level, as a thought. The “separate self” was created in avoidance of bodily sensations, emotions. So now there’s fear, of sensations. But just below the sensations is peace and Love. Slow down, notice the sensations telling you that you’re going off track with your perspective. Take your focus back. Inspect within. It’s very worthwhile. Drop the armor, get down to only your most essential intimate nature, and then let us know.

@Elisabeth Aw. You’re breakin my heart. It sure sounds like you got a whole bunch going on at once. I don’t thin you should be in “solve it” mode. I think you should be in breathing deeply & letting it go mode. Do that for a while, maybe for the night. Everything is fine Elisabeth. The problems you describe, while they might legit suck ass - they are first world problems. You are ok, and your future is going to be great. I’ve seen you, you’re smart, emotionally tuned in, and younger & smarter than me. You’re doing well. I think stuff piled up, and now it’s kinda blowing up. It will pass. I think, tomorrow, you should do some work. What strikes me as the issue to take a look at is two fold: You are young, and you still see yourself through the opinions and values, of other people. If you are 20-25, and finding it’s blows, that is a huge part of why it blows. It’s like you’ve had enough of it, but you don’t yet have clarity on it. The good news, seriously - is that you are causing your suffering. That might sound like I don’t care, but I can assure you I am saying that because I very much do care. Someone has to tell you this, and I’m out of throwing range. Seeing yourself through the opinions, judgements, values, morals, etc - of other people....is never ever going to feel good. You think God made you so you could try to live up to something, for someone else? Ah fuck now Elisabeth. God make perfection. Period. You are good to go, as you are. You are 100% entitled to happiness. You are taking the happiness away from yourself. You got to let this weight you’re putting on yourself, on behalf of other people, go. You can’t do that. Tomorrow... Write down how you see these subjects / issues. Then write down how your parents see it. There is truth in your perspective, and there is truth in there perspective. When you chill, relax, and take some time to see a little of both perspectives, then you have clarity on where each is coming from. It’s just love. I don’t care what it looks like. You’re coming from love, and they’re coming from love. You don’t need to be accepted by anyone. That is a clever tricky way to not accept yourself. Try to think about it simply. If you have five dollars, do you need five dollars? If you have a motorcycle, do you need a motorcycle? If you accept yourself, as you are, all the perfect imperfection - then would you feel this need for anyone else to accept you? No. You know you woudn’t. So, you don’t. What is it exactly, that you are afraid of? Then, pretend that actually happens. What would be different?

Don’t adopt a belief system. That’s an easy “no” (imo). Learning about a variety of religions, maybe, but I don’t suggest it. “Stop thinking about it” isn’t really something you can “do”. I mean, it’s possible, maybe, but it doesn’t seem like anyone can “stop thinking” about anything. It’s like saying I’ll stop thinking about topless dancers and tall frosty beers. (See?) lol You’re thinking about it now. (You probably already were though) I hear you on the beliefs. Believing in yourself, getting through difficult times, rising about adversity - I’m all for that. Beliefs about reality though...they’ll just need to be let go of ultimately, so adding them only adds to the ‘worklist’. You know that already though. What is it that you really, really want? In the simplest of words....?

@Truth Addict So then the question is, what to do? Right? What have you tried so far?

I think that’s where you’re going wrong. You can’t focus on awareness, because you are awareness. Have you done meditation where you just breathe from your stomach, and when you notice your attention got “sucked into” thinking again....just return the attention to breathing from your stomach?

@Key Elements Either doing life purpose, or talking about it. I apologize if I implied ‘you have black & white thinking’. That is not my sentiment. The comment was not about you, it was about the topic on this page of the thread.

@Key Elements Seems like an either or to you. What is the work you are doing?

@How to be wise Ever had the experience where you totally knew something, knew about it, knew what it was & how it worked...and then later in life, a complete flip, a total revelation?

@Manjushri If there was a goose which laid golden eggs, which would you rather have - the goose, or the eggs?

IMO, that is the simple problem. You are trying to focus when (in terms of thoughts) you need to be letting go. Sounds to me like “I keep getting pulled into thought stories because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to be focusing on”. Yes?

@Truth Addict Feels like you want something, and are looking on the level of thinking, for what can not come to you on the level of thinking. Which is in itself a dilemma, because, how’s it going to come then? How’s an insight supposed to come, if you don’t think about it? How will you know about what is afterlife, if you don’t think about it? If you just ‘dropped it’, then you wouldn’t get anywhere with it. Any of that resonate?

@How to be wise Sure...but...how do you know that ‘thoughts come to you’ is not your experience, because you believe that?

@PT89 Yesterday, in meditation, my grandmother appeared in front of me with the biggest loving smile and asked if I wanted to see God‘s patience. I of course said yes. She put a rock between us. We both laughed our heads off in the infinite humor of non-duality, the infinite patience of God, being a ‘rock’. Suffering that led to meditation, which led to discovering the space between the thoughts, which led to discovering the guidance that is emotion, which led to discovering awareness, which led to the real-I-zation of intuition, synergy, synchronicity, etc, which led to without-thinking...Love - was a great teacher.

What is the sensation telling you about the thoughts chosen? Are ‘you’ listening? Keep in mind, the infinite intelligence at play (body). It’s definitly safe to surrender to it. See your hands. See the precision, what thought does that? None. You need not even look down for God to put the earth under every single footstep. Of what use could so much thinking be? Life is a delicious trust-fall. Fall in love with it. Trust.

@Hansu Did what you described just immediately play out?

@Marinus You’re right where you’re supposed to be. Do not wish it away (suffering). Find the barriers you have put in place, see you’ve been creating all along.

@mandyjw ?? @Wisebaxter The apparent duality of light (particle & wave) comes to mind, as something you might want to look into. (Pun intended) Specifically, why it “can’t be resolved”. Also, have you tried Reiki yet Bax? (Ray ‘light’, Key ‘love’) A couple sessions is one thing (great experience), but take the Reiki 1 and Reiki 2 classes. Take them together with that cutie of yours. You guys will love it. You’ll be quite surprised at the mystical experiences possible just being part of a group of practitioners of light & love. You have abilities you haven’t even imagined yet. To further entice you (muah ahhha)..... #2 of the 8 degrees of The Reiki 2 class....”Set aside your personal ego and personal will. People are free to hold onto illness as long as any part of them may wish. We can not always evaluate inner causes or the necessities of spirit.” Then....The 7 Universal Laws. Also, have you read @winterknight‘s book yet? Check it out. It’s wonderfully clear, and deeply insightful. A rare combo imo. I mention it here because in Reiki, you learn to do what WK refers to as Metaphorization, and then you experience someone else’s can actually arise and be experienced in your mind (though they might not even be aware of it themself). It’s truly outside of explanation and must be experienced. An entirely new dimension becomes available, 24/7. ♥️ “...Change a hawk, into a little white dove”.

Be emptying your mind via the practices. Notice what ‘hangs on’, notice how and why thought patterns ‘hang on’. In letting go of the thought patterns, sensations arise. There is where the deeper clarity is found, in accepting & understanding the sensations - in realizing the unification, the already-the-case unity becomes apparent. (And feels damn good btw)

Sort of. If infinite you is to experience other-than infinite you, the knowing of infinite has to be the first thing to go. If you were purple and know your purple ness, and wanted to experience others-than purple, you’d forget purple and actually believe you’re yellow, and that there is yellow. But when yellow is dropped, the yellow is realized to have always been purple, appearing as, yellow. From that realization, arises all the clarity one insight at a time, as to just how purple made it seem yellow. The absence of Love is a mirage. The absence of Self is a mirage. Look into the mirage (hate) and it’s actually Love / The Self.The illusionist cuts the lady in the box in half, and it’s quite exciting. But, ‘later’ it’s found, she was fine the whole time.

Yes! Also, this is what Reiki is all about. Go try it. ♥️

@legendary You have an understanding that the sensation you’re avoiding, is something to fear, so you fear the sensation. It never was something to fear. You literally made that up. That sensation is Big Love, always purifying you from this stubbornness, this deflection, etc. It is Truth, and it can not go on self diminishing adventures. You are free to go to negative town alone. Just don’t pay so coy as to why it feels bad. “Come, come, whoever you are, wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving, it doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times. Come, come again, come. “ - Rumi You can come home too. That’s how I see it. You are free to see things however you want. Even if it isn’t working for you. You are that free. Man, someone must really love you, to allow that. The sensations were never something to avoid. So there is, in truth, no possibility of “failing at that”. There is no failure. You can love the shit out of yourself. Life is better, shitless.

@Ampresus We all love you! You can do this! Express that anger on paper. Get to the source of the suffering - who is that really, who is the one who suffers, this one you keep attributing all this suffering to? I think you’ve had enough suffering, and are ready. I can’t be as sure as you though. We’re all here for ya man. Know that. And there’s like 13,000 of us. That’s how I see anyways, and it is good.