Nahm

This is somewhat common on the path. My advice would be to be curious about it. In the sense one with a reoccurring pain would typically instinctively avoid it or seek a cure, but can also feel into it and explore it, do the same with hearing. Hear into it, explore it, receive it, welcome it. Allow the receiving of the message of it. Be one with the background hum of the universe. Sound is a vibrational appearance of silence, just as matter is a vibrational appearance of being. You could frame this up that you are the vibration discovering the source of the vibration. As you ‘reach’ this line less line, subtle changes in the way reality is experienced, are experienced. You might also experience the pure white of all light. Much more pleasant and fascinating than the ringing. Don’t add resistance, let go to it. You might also frame it up as not encroaching upon you, but allowing you to let something go into it. Maybe something you’ve hung on to long enough, something you can put down now. Maybe something that truly was not your fault. Actually not your fault. Also, are you ‘moving awareness through the body’? Feeling ‘inside’ the body, and moving / ‘whooshing’ the awareness around? if not, I would. If this is new, start with feeling that there is sensation in the body of your feet. Then slowly expand that awareness of sensation through out the entire body. Might take a few days of a few minutes a day. It’s enjoyable, and you might want to do it all / anytime. Feel the same sensation ‘inside’ the body, and by focusing / awareness, feel it move around, sort of like water. If that all sounds ridiculous, google ‘the 5 bodies’ or ‘5 sheets’ and read a bit on different explanations & practices. I think Vipassana meditations & programs cover this as well. It’s not easy to explain, it’s a feeling / direct experience thing. It relates to the ringing. If you have specific questions once you have explored this in direct experience feel free to reply or pm.

Also....use feeling of discord, or feeling of alignment. ‘Play’ with different thoughts...and feel the discord or alignment. If a judgmental thought arises, like ‘something is wrong with me’...and feel the discord or alignment. Inner being going along, or not ‘going along’ with the thought. Then bring the opposite thought to mind, like ‘I am fine as I am’... and feel the discord or alignment. Inner being going along, or not ‘going along’ with the thought.

@Raptorsin7 Yes but keep going... What is the feeling something is wrong.....without resistance or judgement. ‘Wrong’ is resistance & judgement. Where is the feeling in the body. What is the feeling...describe it....burning....tingling...aching....etc.

@Persipnei Feelin the love as well! What a joy to hear & thank you!

Thank you. Appreciating the conversation, and your willingness to explore perspectives. (...I’m using quotes on the word experience (below) in the recognition it points to what is ineffable, not to imply in any way the experience was not valid or actual, but to continue exploring) Some questions that might aid in probing deeper... Shaken...as in “holy fuck this is amazing I am dumbfounded by this feeling & truth!! Everything makes wonderful sense! Miraculous!!!”...or shaken more true to the definition...’disturbed psychologically as if by a physical jolt or shock’...? Did that ‘experience’ involve a recognition of an underlying bond of all ‘things’, which is exceptionally intimate, inseparable....which may have previously been thought to be something one can hold or not hold, or find, or produce, such as from a relationship? Abnormal....to which the responses from others might be along the lines of “That is not a ‘normal’ level of happiness...I wanna feel that good!! What gives?!”...or more “I think you need help with these behaviors / actions / processing what you’re experiencing?” Does it ring true in some sense that the reason you said ‘ok’, even when you wanted to say ‘no’, is ultimately for how you feel? Perhaps in the sense, it’s just easier than dealing with the/her fallout, as in her getting angry, you guys arguing, engaging in a ‘power struggle’ of sorts, maybe ‘cutting off’ or getting ‘cut off’ from intimacy, be it emotional connection and or physical? If that does ring true even a little...can it be seen, or maybe deeply considered, that calm genuine ‘present’ communication about these matters can & would likely release some pent up feelings, maybe a resentment or two that was held in misunderstanding... bringing about some relief via expression and being heard, some airing out & letting go of perspectives which aren’t serving you or her... ultimately bringing you closer together? One ‘strategy’ that comes to mind for tomorrow (if it resonates)... a starting place of togetherness...to agree to think of the relationship as a third party. Something which you both contribute to, to keep it healthy, happy, active, fruitful...ever-going in the direction of what you both want to experience together. Sharing what each of you want to experience in this life, and what you want to experience together...being really open, sharing the dream in each of your hearts, experiencing the experience of that dream being expressed, verbalized, and heard...can be a marriage changing, and life changing, and love bringing experience. Maybe not. If your intention is to be with her...if what is paramount is how you feel, and how she feels...if that is the single point of focus from you...not being right, not ‘winning’, not correcting, etc...but potentially returning again & again to what is wanted...I have a hunch she might openly express something along the lines of “well, ya, of course I want to feel great all the time, of course I don’t want to battle it out & be arguing, butting heads, etc”. Ans also...maybe she will run away. But maybe that’s a short term, needed thing. Maybe she needs to begin to explore depth of herself, of you, of the relationship, and maybe it is triggering, and she needs to run away and process that. Tomorrow is always a fresh new opportunity. There is growth realized, new insight & perspective from the hindsight view. Maybe this happens a few more times, maybe it happens twenty time. Yet - where else will it lead to, other than focusing on feeling great, and letting go of what doesn’t? (Again, this line of questioning is in the vein of if what you want it being with her, and her & son). It’s connotational, up to each one of us, but spiritual to me means inspecting to discover what is real, actual, True. A process in which it is inevitable that all which does not resonate is effortlessly let go, and all which is dreamt, wanted, desired, fills in as this experience. In this perspective, she (nor anyone else) can ever be ‘more spiritual than you’. There is an interesting factor here imo in that you’re both referring to her as more spiritual, and yet may bolt at the notion of inspecting attachment to thoughts, enablement, codependency, processing emotional reactions. This does not sound like a yet realized willingness to inspect, and to feel. I’m not saying this to judge, but that it could be insightful for you...this sounds to me like someone avoiding feeling...which is suffering. Going back to the single pointed conversational focus on what each of you want, and what you want together...surely it is not avoiding feeling (suffering), but exploring, rejoicing in, celebrating feeling. I think that is a wonderfully open minded start. The shedding of thought attachment, belief, ‘knowing’. I think if the orientation is that feeling is paramount, and there is some inspection of what does not feel good for either of you, many new & very awesome perspectives will arise as to happiness, and what is possible. Could they even, really? If you’re living there, eventually you’ll move out...but they have not ‘lost’ you. If there is, say, a job opportunity a hundred miles away, and you pursue it and move there...have they ‘lost’ you? I believe the answer is no. I think ‘lose you’ equates more to ‘cutting off’, ‘disowning’, putting a stop to all communication with them, rejecting them, etc. The default position is that you can have your cake & eat it to. You can absolutely, freely, at your own discretion live & make choices in accordance with what you want. Why add the added perspectives, engagements, thoughts, conversations of ‘losing’ each other? People move, live their dream, and can stay in touch as well. Also, if they display behavior which is not in accordance with feeling, you can communicate this to them, and let them be with it. You being open, accepting, patient, understanding...does not equate to allowing anyone to treat you poorly. This can be pointed out to them, calmly, without emotional reaction, because it is in accordance with feeling. They might ‘run away’ too, so to speak...but everyone comes back around to wanting to feel great...and apologizing, forgiving, for dumb shit we do comes into play. It is the relief, the acceptance & understanding. It is not condoning or encouraging the repeating of such behaviors in relationships. I think if you scrutinize & inspect you’ll find they love you & you love them. I think what they don’t want boils down to some behaviors, some things that were said, the way some things were handled. Indeed. Been there a few hundred times myself lol. Will likely be there again soon! But I will then acknowledge it, express it be it to someone effected or on paper for myself to see, and then understand it...and focus, concentration, etc are again unobstructed, and the dream is manifesting, and good feeling is again present and abounds, much more so even than before the experience. Good feeling that is contagious, infectious, undeniable. Good feeling that builds dreams, that creates. We can not ‘beat up on ourselves’ for a past. I mean we can, but it is needless, pointless & fruitless suffering. The actuality, the reality is, we’re moving forward. There is no pause or rewind button on experience. So we must move forward. This means we learn new depths to things like forgiveness, understanding, self love, other love, one love. I do not mean or intend here to imply this equates to staying with anyone or not. We have to experience. That’s how we actually learn. When we let go of what doesn’t resonate (thoughts), doesn’t serve us, is not aligned with our source & our dream for our life, we are consciously creating. There is no better feeling or experience, and letting good is effortless. Thank you. I’m experiencing & learning too. I appreciate you.

@Gesundheit Infinite can not know finite.

Religion and confusion are not ‘things’ you can point to which ‘someone else has’. God isn’t a thing, such that it can be said ‘what God is’. Just like saying what a toaster is. One agrees or not, but it is never actually said what a toaster is, because it’s undefinable. The source of definitions appears to define and is undefinable. If everything is God there is no we, God, or consciousness. One would have to hold themself to be separate, to define. Use a pad of paper, try defining yourself, as an exercise. What is arrived at? If everything is God...there is no ‘everything’. If all the cars and house are legos...there aren’t cars & houses...there’s legos. If all definitions are legos...there aren’t actually any definitions....just legos...and this would include all definitions like & for legos. Not two. Not God. Not consciousness. Not distinction. Not external. Not entity. These are thoughts arising, the apparent nature of which, is duality, or twoness.

Are you really saying it’s like you’re sitting a room, chillin, and out of nowhere your parents concoct a story about losing you & their grandson? Where did they even get such a notion? Did you for example say I’m considering moving somewhere, etc? What did you say to them, to which this was their response? Attachment is to thoughts,, not things or people. Did you and her talk about attachment to thoughts, enablement, codependency, processing emotional reactions, etc? If you want your family, these are things you and her can understand & change in your relationship & household. Any discussion on the truth of love in relationship to thought attachment, codependency, etc, or on maybe talking with someone who can help you both understand? If you’re doing what you actually want by separating, I’m not suggesting otherwise, but you did make the thread, and you’ve mentioned there might be something you’re missing. These are signs the way these events are unfolding is not resonating with you & you are looking to understand why. Can you elaborate on what the ‘take over’ is / looks like / feels like? When you say “do what they expect”...what is that? What do you feel they expect? Does your wife, child, and parents all desire that you do not improve your life? Such as a change of source of income, housing, education, habits, healthier relationships, etc? How are they ‘against you’, or preventing you from doing what you want? Again, is it as simple as - you don’t want them in your life anymore? If this is the case, why is there the sentiment that they don’t want you ? Is that really a ‘sudden’ change on their part...nothing you said or did...somehow you had an awakening, and nobody wants you anymore? Tough question but, what is the “it” referred to? “I have reacted to their reactions with compassion and love” Long road, to what?

@electroBeam Ok but we got dibs on the blue bandanas. @Someone here ?? Love you’s!

@electroBeam Maybe you took the comment to imply an exclusivity of meditation...? That meditation rules everything else out or something? I am wondering if you thought the comment was more specifically to you or related to one of your comments..? It was more to James thread, meditation and letting go, not anyone specific. And more so in regard to letting everything go in meditation. (No caveat of fixating, and or never doing anything else ever.)

@longusername12345 Wherever you are the majority of the time would be ideal. It’s going to be filled with what you want, so it’s going to feel good to see it. Feeling good is going to produce more thoughts & ideas, to write on the board.

@Someone here That was kind of the insight shared. No one actually knows what anyone thinks or knows. There isn’t a “we all know”. Especially when it comes to meditation. Letting all activity of the mind go in meditation may not resonate with you, and that’s fine. I can appreciate that so much, that I mentioned meditation. @electroBeam I didn’t mean any disrespect. Quite the opposite. Sorry if I came across that way.

? What comes to mind is taking a few minutes together and writing the pros and cons on paper to see and discuss. Both of you letting reaction & impulse go, staying in communion, or true open communication with each other, and being mindful to be objective about it. I think the data might speak for itself.

@Someone here What did you think meditation was?

Bring it all to meditation, and blow it a big kiss goodbye. ? @Someone here Hire a meditation coach.

@seeking_brilliance Sorry. Was slightly off there. Re-honing.

Care to share more on these? What did those ‘extremes’ look like? What were ‘their commands’?

Not what are their reactions like...what are they reacting to? What behavior or words transpired at your end to which their reaction was that you are a danger to your son? It could very well be the case, but it’s hard to picture you woke, loving & compassionate...and them saying such things out of nowhere. Possible indeed, but highly unlikely. If someone was telling you only the above...wouldn’t you see there is more to the story? What is ‘stopped playing my part’ which results in losing twenty year friendships and your wife? Is it really simply that you just prefer the changes? You’re questioning how many people end up in a mental institution because of their environment is a sort of red flag, possibly a cry for help...no? Blaming other people’s ego’s...? What exactly is it which they ‘can’t handle’? How sure are you that “your own ego” isn’t the biggest hurdle here? Awakened folks are a joy to be around ime. Not implying the awakening was invalid or anything, but maybe it’s being spread like butter across everything...maybe that’s not sitting well...? Some times awakening is just so damn good it doesn’t matter, but it might. More than anything else, maybe. If your wife is experiencing monkey mind (drama) and you are experiencing true peace of mind & compassion...how are you not seeing and experiencing orders of magnitude beyond this, such that ‘dramas’ are not persisting? Unless, again, what you really want is to not have the friendships, marriage, child, parents, etc. Wish you the best in any case.

@seeking_brilliance I did, bout an hour before he said it. Enjoy the soup btw.

So sorry to hear. What a tragic loss at such a tender age. My advice in regard to feeling better would be to listen to feeling. If thoughts of guilt don’t feel good, don’t assume we are supposed to feel bad in that way. There is obviously great loss and mourning, but listen closely to feeling when it comes to thoughts and suffering. Don’t distance yourself from the love within, it is there we are never lost, never separate, prior to our lifetimes. I realize that may mean very little right now, but I hope there is some relief, some peace for you. The world is hurting in a big way, much bigger than any one of us. None of what has transpired is your fault in any way. If you’re interested in a read, Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani comes to mind. It is a very beautiful book from her direct experiences in regard to life and death, and could be the different perspectives you’re looking for. Love & hugs my friend. ?

@longusername12345 A piece of chalk and a wall would suffice, but I’d get a dry erase board like this on wheels and plant it in the center of your living space. Then, write anything you want to do, have, experience, etc on it.

The finite mind can not dispel the illusion of itself via it’s own activity. Brought to rest, again & again & again & again, it ceases in the awe & illumination of it’s source. Meditation. Letting go. Only truth remains, and not even.

What are their reactions to?

@zeroISinfinity Figurative, literal, and absolute truth. Very nice.