Gabriel Antonio

I went to a Satsang of Mooji yesterday. Crazy-ass shit haha. My mind was GOING CRAZY! Like hardcore judgements haha. But I stayed with that discomfort. And now... I feel rejuvenanated, renewed, refreshed. It was an interesting experience. I probably won't go there again, but it was fun to step outside my comfort zone. The challenge is going well. I am amazed that I am actually to keep my word and just commit to ONE practice. I feel kinda of guilty at times. At others, I get fearful thoughts such as "Oh... what if I don't feel good??" or "What if I mess up the day for not having 100000 practices?" Hahah... Life feels like summer vacation hahaha. Boring but at the same time I wouldn't trade it for anything ahhaha. It is so crazy that Umbanda place that I went. I just feel good, you know? Like I feel protected, you know? I feel like I could stay home doing nothing, and I would be feeling amazing either way. Hahaha. But I know that I cannot rest on my laurels. Like those low vibrational thoughts and emotions curse through my body and then they leave with no resistance from my part. This week I will probably go to a Osho Active Meditation class. Curious to see how that goes. I am also thinking about my next 21-day challenge. I feel in love with the 3-minute affirmation I am doing. So I might continue with that. Don't know... Some ideas include > Waking up at 4:30 AM > Completing a 5-thing to-do list > 10 minutes of pranayamic breathing (btw - I want to write a complete forum topic about this fascinating technique) One thing I want to do also is to fucking watch Leo's video. I get sloppy and I don't watch the fucking thing. I know that he is talking about very advanced shit, which I might not understand right now, so I will just trust him and allow those teachings to be heard by my subconscious mind. FULL FORCE STRIKE! Hahaha, this journal is a mess. I have changed so much since I started it... I kind of feel shy from those early posts hahaha... For some reason, I had gotten REALLY ATTACHED to the idea of "God" as something separate from me. This duality realtionship with God gives a sense of relief and hope in a way, but you start picking up some stupid beliefs. So... I am God. And God is me. But God is much greater than me. It will always be this case. I am just a character here, and I decide to play it well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Notes I had while I was talking to an Awakened friend. So I got this friend who has gone a massive spontaneous Samadhi for 15-fucking-days. Just by being in his presence, I feel more higher consciousness. He is a diligent meditator for over 10 years. One thing that I notice is how much tension I hold in jaw. It is crazy! I mean not only my jaw, but also all my chest area. He is like an angel. Why? Because he has the solutions to all my "problems". He knows all about chakras, meditation, and voice. All of these is what I need. He unconsciously holds the answer. So as everybody else. But in his case, it is more intense because I can really relate to what he is talking about. So here are the !!! insights !!!: I am afraid of chaos > I try to escape from it instead of confronting it in a mature way. > one thing that came to mind is to increase my resilience muscle. but sometimes it is really necessary to just stop, breathe, and relax. [with your mouth shut and using as little effort as you can]. > fear of going through immense and permanent pain. this becomes evident when I have a sore throat that is caused due to inadequate speaking (i use my throat too much when I am talking). so, to solve this shit, my friend told me to speak with a pen in-between my teeth and also to stick my tongue in and out 25 times everyday. However......... I WILL NOT COMMIT TO THIS PRACTICE NOW. I have set the intention of "i will do it whenever I remember it, and IF I haven't done it during the day." Why did I say that?? Simple: My ego loves to create excuses to be unhappy and unsatisfied with the present fucking moment. Seriously, no matter what I am doing, here comes the critic mind. So, to turn it off, I am doing things that might be a mistake in a conscious way. I have just realized that I am pretty fucking high conscious already, but the problem is: I am too fearful. Therefore, I am allowing myself to make mistakes, go through the pain, and eventually seek help. So, in other words, this friend is helping me out alleviate my sore throat and I am learning how to speak correctly. Unnattentive when my ego becomes uninterested in some subject, it automatically shuts off my attention. seriously, i stop listening. and, now that I have become more confident, I am able to manipulate the conversation into going to another direction without the person noticing. It is really weird to see that happening. Some months ago, when I had a burst of confidence for the first time since I began acting like a Social Anxiety type of person, my attitude towards being bored with what someone was talking about was very simple: I would diverge the person's attention by pointing out to something of the external world. So, for example, if I were talking with you on the street and I was freaking bored out of my mind from what you were talking about, I would say something like, "Oh...! Look at that beautiful tree!" When in an ego backlash, minimize the damage Pretty obvious, huh? But seriously dude, you have no idea how much your ego can backfire on you. So watch out and enjoy the moments of opening that you have. Everything is here to help This is a belief I want to instill in me. I am already doing it, actually. The idea is simple: this is a conscious confirmation bias. Because I have a negative bias towards myself, I am applying force the other way around. Hahaha! Thanks for teaching me about how to hack the system , Leo! You are too nice? Act like an asshole. You are too rigid? Act like a lazy-ass pot smoker. You are too relax? Be more rigid like a executive. This way, you will explore contrasts, which is a super important aspect to finding the Gold way the devil lives in your jaw social anxiety contributes to tension in the jaws. seriously, my biggest inner demon is social anxiety. it is the fear, the guilt, the anger... that is what the Devil really is. It is the unconscious behaviors I don't even see happening. It is the unconsciousness. It is me. Play the roles REALLY. Like immerse yourself COMPLETELY IN THEM. And BAM! There lies the second stage of Awakening. This is a response I thought of for a question on a YT's question. He asked something like, "Oh... what happens after I know the One in All? It is very easy to get dettached from your roles, but actually when you dive deep into them and is not scared by any character of your play, BAM!!!!!!!!!! We hit the next stage. So it is more a matter of becoming more peaceful in the midst of shit. Not running away from shit, but to actually embrace what is coming to your field. B3C0M3 an 1NSTRU3M3NT 0F TH3 D1V1N3 How? By invoking My Name. Then, your main character to YOURS3LF will become G0D. Nobody is supposed to understand you. Just be super kind to others and really yourself, and BAM! That's as much as you can help anybody. This is your experience. Nobody else knows that you are here. So just invoke my fucking name, for crying out loud. This is God. Just say that when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Prayer: 1- GOD, USE ME TODAY! [IN THE M0RN1NG] 2- GOD, THANK YOU FOR USING ME TODAY! [AT N1GHT] This is a letter I -- as God -- wrote to myself. I felt like I received this from the Cosmos. Seriously, just by setting this intention two times a day is enough for the divine to shine through every possible aspect of your life and make life beautiful and pleasant once again. All it takes is 3 seconds of sincere, sorry for this word, faith. Faith in what? In a superior being, in all the perfect attributes of a being (Hello, Jesus? :P) Anyway, all religion is pointing to the same direction. So in this prayer, I "invoked" God, which really is an element of my subconscious mind, and I simply said to myself what I need the most in the moment. It is as simple as it can be. There is nothing to figure out. Just Call My Name. [credits to Matt Kahn] Listen 3 seconds more I often get socially anxious. When I externalize the anxiety, it becomes very annoying to everyone around me. Because I simply stop listening However, if I am able to increase the time that I listen for 3 more seconds, there lies the answer to my question. Who generates this whirldwind of questions? The anxious mind. It is as if I needed to participate in everything 100%. No, no, no. Just sit down and listen to others. Let your body go crazy. If you feel the authentic need to stop the person, do it. But avoid that. Only do it if you are about to explode Hahaha. Old signatures: I am going to update my signature. But I want to record them here. So this is the one that I had "Master the art of Half-Assing The problem is not your sins. The problem is that you care too much. Decide to be happy [content] with the present fucking moment."

@Quang yea, I have taken cold showers even when I had a fever, but i am a savage so i dont know if everyone is like me. I just dont care hahah. Seriously, what would a cold shower cause? I was scared off my mind to take them in the winter, and depending on how bad is the weather, I do not recommend ?% cold. Why? Because it becomes fucking painful, like really painful. Not that it is a bad thing, but I'd be lying if I said: all cold showers are the same. No, they are not. I feel like it is a matter of mindset. I take 100% cold no matter what. I hate hot showers because my body get extremely sloppy and lethargic. I mean, I understand the pleasure of a hot shower, I just don't think it is worth it. This is an example of the difference between delayed gratification and instant gratification. I have read on a book that cold showers is one of the secrets for optimal health, to "never get sick." So it is one of those counter-intuitive moves we got to take so frequently. Btw, I would assume that taking a hot shower is worse than a cold shower when you have a cold. At least when I had that fever, the schock therapeutical effect of cold showers was what brought some tranquility and some refreshing feeling. Anyway, this is my experience. But just remember: there is always an excuse... @Kaity hahahahahah Awesome! It feels like a big slap on the ego hahaha i agree that it must take more work... i wash my hair so quickly. it takes me less than 20 seconds... a weird thing that happens when you get used to cold showers is that you simply stop having aversion for cold water. You actually start loving it. Right now, we are in spring in Brazil, and I actually miss taking those crazy-ass cold showers when it is freezing cold hahaha. You feel so good afterwards... People, here is a golden tip: start from your back. > Just turn off the thinking mind and jump into that beautiful cold shower <<

Hello! I went to a very interesting place yesterday. Umbanda. This is a brazilian religion that has strong African roots. So, lots and lots of drums. It feels amazing! I got many insights there. I can't think of them specifically, but I will try to do so. 1- Most of the learning occurs on the subconscious level Just by being in the presence of high consciousness individuals, it is as if you automatically elevate your own frequency. You don't have to talk a lot with those people, just be with them. 2- Love is a vibration. I feel like when I go lower with my voice, I feel more grounded. It is very amazing! So in a way, I have been trying to tune myself to higher frequencies. It is as simple as it can get. So... lots of 432 hz... 3- Don't force yourself There are moments that we have to take a strategic pause. It is no use trying to rush things, speed up the process. In the beginning of the ceremony, I was feeling lethargic and low on energy. But, as I stayed with that sensation, without trying to speed it up, I naturally felt a sense of peace and relief, as if nothing has to be changed. 4- Let things flow more slowly Sometimes I want to solve something, and I do it very hastily as if the world depended on that. So, from now on, I am taking the approach of slowing the fuck down. Whenever thoughts like, "I have to do this NOW!!!!!!" I will consciously tell my subconscious mind: This can wait. I am in control here. If, on the other hand, it is a genuine emergent situation, then I will consciously speed things up. 5- Patience is required for any big growth People, if you haven't watched Leo's video on Patience, then I suggest you watch it. Sometimes we are totally on the right path, but then we psych ourselves out from the process. Let me repeat this: IT IS A PROCESS! You have no idea of the power your subconscious mind have. It is the power that make children learn languages. It is that crazy! The subconscious mind has the power of processing TONS of data. So, in a way, you only have to focus a very short period of the day on concentrated self-development practice. Why? Because otherwise you will become a micro-managing boss. No! We don't want that. What we want instead is consistent and gradual growth in small bites. A common error is trying to revolutionize your life in a very short timeframe. It can be done. Sometimes change happens like a flash. Lots of emotional bullshit dissolve right before your eyes. But don't expect that. Just be fucking realistic. I am going to do a 5-minute meditation/affirmation/whatever daily, and I will patiently wait. So this is it.

@Visionarythanks i am wise in some aspects, but very unwise in others haha. people have told me this year that I act like a spoiled child, but other people have also told me that I am "an old spirit", and other kinds of things like that. It is just a matter of perspective I can see how I look like that dude hahaha.

- reprogram subconscious mind - day 4/21 [X] - reprogram subconscious mind - day 5/21 [X] My ego is getting pretty sloppy with doing the affirmation. It is only 3 minutes of practice self-development wise per day, but, dude, you have no idea how much work I have been doing automatically, as a by-product. Hahaha, it is unbelievable. Anyway, life feels amazing! Yesterday I cried my heart out to a friend; then to my mom and sister. It is so fucking hard to be helped, you know? The ego loves to do things by itself, so it is very healthy to expose your weakneseses to someone you trust. Anyway... I can see how I am on the verge of getting lazy and not doing the challenge till the end, so I am going to write on a piece of paper, with very clear instructions, and just keep track there and in here. Seriously, guys, if just change a little tiny habit, this is enough. The rest will take care of itself. Anyway, words, words, and words.... Blah, blah, blah... It is all BS (Belief System) Opening the Heart I feel like I am opening my emotions. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Update: 8:09 PM 9-23-2017 The Beginning of The Spring Expectations... Ok, guys, I will set some guidelines as to how I will write on this journal. > My little ego (which really is my way to communicate with my inner child) perspective on my day. \ VULNERABILITY > I will post about my emotions specifically. (I have been doing some hardcore Kundalini Yoga, so lots of emotions popping up). > Quick trip reports (Including: meditation trips, breathing trips, and psychedelic trips). Anyway... I am just glad that Spring is Here! Yesterday was an amazing-fucking-day. I burst into tears with two friends. It was amazing! Never had I felt so vulnerable! I felt like I was getting naked in front of them, fully expressing my emotions. Due to energetic blockages in my lungs, I have unknowningly repressed my inner child. The inner child lives in the Solar Plexus. Your introjected parents live in your lungs. When you expand your lungs, the Little Bird can fly out the cage it is in. (The lungs can be compared to cages also.) I am beginning to appreciate the beginning, the middle, and the end of things. I don't know about you, but my generation just loves to do things in the half. So everything is half-assed. You half-ass school, you half-ass washing the dishes, you half-ass listening to a song, you half-ass having FUCKING SEX! But the one I am going to talk about today is a different one. Eating food. Have you noticed that when you are eating you are simply not enjoying the whole thing? You simply want the initial hit. This desire of craving for the initial hit is an inner demon. This is the source of addictions. Have you ever gone to a Japanese center of spiritual practices (e.g., Zen temple, Johrei, or Sukyo Mahikari)? You just feel the complete emptiness there. It is so freaking liberating!! But at the same time, I know that summer is a state of mind. So...! Let us start to enjoy our Food more. It is a gift from the Divine Absolute. Seriously, it so good to just eat and enjoy the whole thing. Even the after-taste... So, it is like listening to Stairway to Heaven. Things have to build momentum so that True Pleasure washes through your Body. Thank you all for reading! I really don't feel worthy of so much "likes" in that cold shower topic. Maybe I have exaggerated things there... Hahaha. But it was with a good intention. What am I talking about? Dude, check this out: cold showers do open up the meridians of your body. Therefore, it becomes easier to kick-ass in that specific day. Finally, I want to say that I am so fucking grateful that the Divine Force is realigning my body. I do feel Ocean of Tears stored in my lungs. And it is very liberating to be able to cry from the inside. This broken Inner Child will always be in me, and that is not at all a bad thing! The thing I got to remind myself everyday is that it is all a matter of releasing the energy block. Thank God I am not a child anymore. I am much more than that! I have just turned 21 on September 9th. I know it is just a number, but I have felt a big existential relief. I feel like I have gone through a rite of passage. For those of who do not read this journal frequently, I have been doing lots of Ayahuasca trips in Shamanic groups. I feel like a fucking Indigenous there. And it is not easy at all! Their method of enlightenment, if you will, is to shut up the mind completely through Earth elements. In other words, it is not a woo-woo type of Awakening. It is a rude, thunder-like Awakening. Haha. Can you handle to go through something like this? Are you able to give up your nasty spoiled habits? Are you able to be more caring to others? Are you able to stay through the end in conversations? Are you able to read a full text and not scroll down through it? Are you able to look in the eyes of the people you interact with? Are you able to Be Present no matter what is arising in your field? Are you able to Open Up Your Lungs? I will leave you guys with the type of songs we hear during an Ayahuasca ceremony in Brazil. This one specifically feel like the woman is purging a demon out of my head. Listen to it very closely, but in a relaxed manner, okay? And imagine how it would feel like if all your chakras were opened and if you were in the Amazon. See yourself as a 5-year-old. Remember to breathe from the base of your spine. Here is the Healing Chat: Enjoy!!!

@eskwire perhaps because the back is the hottest part People, cold showers are not 5-MeO, okay? No magic pills here. Just some good old-fashioned, highly masculine and intense self-development practice. As you may guess, this is not the end of the story. There is a beautiful thing called emotions. Haha, you will not get away from that, Little Ego... Hahaha. The one who always run away from feeling rather than accomplishing. Spiritual practices are not a gateway for not feeling emotions. It is instead a way of strengthening your will-power muscle in a straight-forward way. No bullshit here. This is a practice to become a disciplined dog. Okay? You will not become a Human Being because of it. Hahaha. Sorry to break it to you Hahahahaha.

Warning: this desire might be a big trap! >> Live your age to the fullest << Osho got a theory that very old folks who are very sexual-oriented have this because they did not live their youth [which includes sexuality] completely. It is just like when you eat. If you eat half-assing, you will think about the food later. However, if you are full-assing the food, then you will not think about it afterwards. I love this. So if you REALLY live this life to the fullest, there would be no need for any other incarnation. But there is a condition: you gotta live it well. Be part of it!

When are you going to release the "reprogram your subconscious mind" course? we want that!!! we want to give you many $$!! btw - thank you for advocating studying from infinite sources. Shamans, Buddhists, Christians (the old-school ones) i have learned how to filter things out. i am now open to get the best out of the worst hehe and then you discover that is all the same fucking thing from different perspectives [seriously, i even like evangelical churches and i get Samadhi-like experiences there haha] life feels so amazing...!!! :D\\\\\\\

I have obviously done other things hehe. Cold showers are not a magical solution, please, I hope you know that. Cold showers help you build momentum. Because seriously it is very hard to stay in bed all day if you have summoned the courage to actually jump into that beautiful cold shower. I think my main mistake in the last 3 years I have been doing self-development was to commit to too many practices. That was caused lots of backsliding. Commit to just one thing and make it just a small dose. Cold showers are perfect for that. You just worry about self-development per se once a day for 3 minutes, which actually requires like 3 seconds of courage. If you sum those 3 seconds in 20 years, imagine how much developed you can become. BIG PICTURE THINKER! One thing that really helps is to SHAKE YOUR BODY REAL HARD. And BREATHE DEEPLY like your life depended on it haha. I have been experimenting with cold and hot. It is an amazing practice! It teaches you not to cling to the hot but at the same not get attached to the uncomfortable because the thing is: pleasure is not the problem; the problem is clinging. so if you alternate between cold and hot, you are really fucking your ego in the ass Hahahaha. Thank you for the awesome feedback guys =D

- ANGEL SEHEIAH A friend of mine told me about the old story about guardian angel. i have always judged that and thought, "that's for children". but it really helps alleviate the suffering. you just invoke it. i searched on google and mine is called Seheiah. It was amazing when I invoked it during my meditation today. Out of nowhere, I remembered my first awakening experience at the age of 7. A lot of things falled into place! If you only ASK! seriously, there are higher vibrational "spirits" that can help you out, dear ego. haha. seriously, you are not gonna make it by yourself. ASK the universe, allah, god, whoever you want. Yes, they are all You. But at the same time we are still stuck in ego, which really is a defense mechanism. so... INVOKE! - it is just a matter of faith, Believing "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you are right in both ways." Henry Ford - give your shadow what it wants (INTERNALLY!!!!!) I was doing some breathing exercises, and it came to me: "just fucking give what your shadow wants" DURING meditation, okay? I am not saying you should start killing people. But it is TOTALLY OKAY to do it consciously in your mind. You go, "Ok, Shadow, I respect your power. And I allow you to think whatever the fuck you want." Then... BAM... those nasty desires melt away and heal automatically. - reprogram subconscious mind - day 3 [X] I am firm with my intention to only commit to this one practice ALONE. And then, I will leave the rest for my subconscious mind. I have the tendency to be an overcontrolling boss, which really is just another aspect of my ego, I suppose. But anyway... I am beginning to trust myself more in the process. It is like, "Oh... it really is okay if I mess things up. I am here for the LONG RUN." > enjoy your roles! it is just a play.... random cool gif

Day 2 - [X] - Reprogram Subconscious Mind 3 Min of a Powerful Affirmation Let me tell you about the awesome affirmation I have been doing. It is called God in Action. Yes, this word has a lot of cultural baggage (full of shit), but it sums up well the idea of the Absolute Infinity. The affirmation is in Portuguese. I am taking extra attention on NOT COMMIT TO ANYTHING ELSE self-development-wise. Self-development might seem like it doesn't work, but the thing is it takes time. And we love to mess things up. In my case, commit to many practices, get overwhelmed, and then self-sabotage. Anyway, so far, so good. I am playing my roles very nicely in life. The role of being a friend, teacher, a son etc. I play them intensively, but I do not get lost in them. That is, I know that it is all a façade, but it feels nice to actually play the roles I was given. I am learning how to relax the fuck down It is all a matter of MindSet There is such a thing called self-fulling prophecy. "I do everything right" > awesome belief "There is always something to figure out" > horrible belief So... start changing your expectations. Most things we deem "unconscious behavior" are only so because we believe that they are. Like, frivulous sex, porn, watching TV (excess), etc. So... it will be fine

I have gone through that same problem. At the time, Leo recommended a more rigid practice, like mindfulness. What really helped me has been pranayamic exercises, especially the one you alternate the nostrils. Good luck! You need to release your energy. And then meditation will feel pleasant

Good job!! The most important thing is to work on yourself. The rest will fucking follow you! Do not seek hot girls; let hot girls seek you.

any activity can be high-consciousness. it all depends on your attitude towards it. but you're right on cutting some shit. hahaha. but eventually you will see that you are allowed to do whatever you want. but i probably shouldn't tell you that hahaha. Kundalini Yoga is AMAZING! Just sit... and the Truth will be revealed

@DoubleYou GOOD! You are beginning to appreciate getting uncomfortable. Life feels amazing when you embrace discomfort. >>> All progress is made outside the comfort zone <<< >>> Growth is painful <<< >>> Struggling makes you grow <<< ???

I am in a moment of my life that I simply want to enjoy the present fucking moment, just like a child, you know? I don't care if I am pleasing others or not, as long as I am pleasing myself. I have been doing some heavy shadow work, and it is amazing! I feel more conscious about how my shadow operates. Some of its characteristics are hyper-sensibility (which turns into irritation), escapism, disatisfaction with the present moment (there's always something wrong...), aversive, low self-esteem, indifferent, guiltful (I should've...), undecisive, and finally paranoia. So... the characterists I want to embody more are radical honesty, detail-orientation, radical acceptance (including accepting that I do not accept some things about myself, others, and life in general), accept that I am a self-help junkie, a deep thirst for knowledge (i.e., yes, I am a fucking nerd :P), pronoia (which is the belief that everything here is to help me to achieve my highest potential), and finally ask myself the following question on a regular basis: "What if this was my last day?" Because it can be... What if this was the last time that I woke up? My last shower ever?My last conversation with my mom? My last orgasm? My last psychedelic trip? I feel an imperative desire to establish bigger goals. At the same time, if I am able to keep up the routine that I am doing, I am in pretty good shape So... I feel it is a matter of relaxing the fuck down and enjoy this encarnation. I do not know why this opportunity was given to me in the first place, and I do feel lost at times, but, seriously, the level of fulfillment you can get out of this life is beyond infinity. The key point is to... CIRCULATE THE ENERGY >> go to different places, talk to new people, watch different videos... All humans have a desire for novelty. This is not me talking; it is psychology. KEEP FLOWING >> it doesn't fucking matter if you're on a so-called "good or bad" track in your life. Seriously, nobody has this thing figured out completely. Nobody really knows why we are here. So the thing is: just keep the rhythm of your inner song. Become more harmonious with natural sounds once again (432 hz is a must) PHYSICAL TOUCH 'you got no idea how important touching other human beings is. You begin to feel alive once again. It is amazing... Get a good grip feels awesome for both parties. BOREDOM lately, I can't stand staying at my mom's house (which is where I live) for a very long time. I feel my energy draining there; it is very crazy... So I have been going to a friend's house who, wait for it... has gone to many Vipassana retreats... and... wait for it... has experienced Samadhi for 15 fucking days out of nowhere. One day he woke up and BAM! LESS SHIT i have been doing so much shit in my life because i got tons of energy. however, last week, i had an energy breakdown. i almost got sick for real. so now, i am deciding to slow the fuck down and enjoy life. CYCLES we all go through cycles. the thing is are you aware of that? because no matter how good you are, it will pass. no matter how bad it is, it will also pass. so it is a matter of enjoying the stage you are in. DECIDE i deeply agree with what @Soulbass wrote on a topic. sometimes it is just a matter of belief. "oh... if i eat meat, I will feel shitty" >> self-fulfilling prophecy in many cases. so... I decide to be ACT play your roles nicely in life Happy NOW no matter the circumstances. I will enjoy myself thoroughly today, like a 5-year-old, who is discovering the world. “In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” - Jack Kornfield Challenge I am doing... 21 days of Affirmations!!!! Day 1 9-18-2017 [X] > it feels amazing to just fucking be myself. this is it: I WILL ONLY DO THIS PRACTICE, and the rest is playing my roles!!! I am going to play my roles in life so fucking well. It is going to be exaggerated haha. But it will be amazing! I will live this fucking movie for once! Hahaha. LIVE! ` PLAY YOUR ROLES!!! 3 minutes of a "prayer" rules > repeat out-aloud anywhere as long my subconscious mind understand that I am giving commands to it > LISTEN TO IT ONLY ONE TIME A DAY NO FUCKING EXCUSES The thing is: my EGO gets fucking attached to self-development practices, so I overtrain!!! SO! HERE IS THE FUCKING THING, EGO: ONLY ONE TIME A DAY!!!!!! > If I start doing other practices, I WILL NOT COMMIT! So... hot showers are allowed, no meditation needed, no check-lists, no finantial success, no trying to become a more self-confident guy, no gym necessary... > BE YOUR FUCKING SELF!! DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE YOU IN ANY WAY. BE FUCKING LATE TO THINGS, BE SELFISH, ETC > If I want to overtrain any practice, I will allow myself to do so. > I will allow myself to do whatever the fucking I wnat > Circulate the fucking energy > Multitask if you want > Organize > Be disrespectul if you want everything else in my life is allowed allow, allow, allow

@brovakhiin 3-5 minutes The important thing, though, is the initial schock ? So as long as you wash your whole body, you're good.

I am feeling very light lately. I am happy that I got many cool projecta going on. I am happy that I have found friends. I am happy that I am content with the present fucking moment. The power is always IN you.

"Underneath the costume of an ego, there is an inner child. And the way we treat any inner child, or any other heart is a love-letter email to our own innocence. The way you treat other egos is the way your innocence is viewed by you. So, we learn from a very heart-centered perspective: ego is an inflammed personality, caused by an overestimulated nervous system, which is a life-long allergy to the unconsciousness we came here to shift." Matt Kahn

First of all, I loved your humility in pledging for help. I know how you feel. I know how it is like to be overwhelmed by low-vibrational emotions. One thing that can really help you is emotional support. You might not know it, but there might be a spiritual seeker in your neighborhood So... Real Sangha > Community of Friends You have no idea how you change just by being in the presence of a high-consciousness person. The practice becomes so much smoother when you are around such individuals. 99% of your drama disappears, and you finally start living in the present fucking moment. as it is. If you still wanna go solo: Keep facing your fears and your dark emotions! But, please, if it becomes too overwhelming, please reach out someone. There is somebody in your life that listens to you. It can even be your mom. (Spoiler alert: it turns out it can even be yourself). > Become the one gives all the emotional support your inner child wants. < ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, MY FRIEND

@Soulbass awesome perspective!!!

@Vitamine Water congratulations! right now in Brazil, it is boiling, so cold showers don't really make sense. Hot showers is the challenge for me right now. Keep going! You will get extraordinary results. Comfort is highly boring after a while >> Huge insight for living a fulfilling life. @Vitamine Water @DoubleYou Chances are, it is part of the process. Just some things to keep in mind: Itching = dry skin Solution: essential oil (or you can use a moisturizer, which is less natural) Btw - People, it is okay if you fail. You ain't came here to be perfect. You already are Cold showers will help you build that beautiful momentum. The trick is to always flow, no matter how hard it seems. Amem to that! Thanks for sharing your experience. There are hard days despite the cold showers, but they certainly help you light a fire? under your butt and start living life, like an energetic 8-year-old would. At other times, it feels good to just relax, just be. But for adults to get that good release and relaxation, we need to have a discomfort to purify ourselves. This includes so many activities. - Taking a yoga class - Going out with someone - Talking to a stranger All of these activities make life rewarding. You go, "I actually did something new today. I am 1% better. Yes!!" This is a sign you are growing. Growing makes you feel good in your body and mind. Thanks for the awesome feedback, guys!

@MarinM the trick is: you get totally outside of your comfort zone. then, during the rest of the day, you just relax... "do one thing everyday that scares you" comfort might be useful, but we really transcend these concepts. even discomfort... at some point, you simply drop it. and start living haha. you go like, "why do I torture myself so much?" but this realization only came after I went through a lot of hardcore practices, like taking cold showers in the winter.

Doing Nothing… Hey guys, I just wanted to give a quick update here. There are more moments in our lives that nothing much seem to be happening, you know? It seems as if we hit a plateau. The important thing to do in those moments is… Keep Calm and Carry On Hehe. The worst thing that can happen is you getting paralyzed by a negative emotion. Those lower-consciousness types of emotions DO exist, but they can be easily transmuted. The secret is to become an alchemist. Get the best out of the worse. Turn water into wine. Getting the best out of people. Even the worst kind has a heart. So, anyway, the point here is that sometimes we have to cease the practice. You know, our hardcore practice. And let the practice practice you. Haha. It is like that. Because seriously, if you keep practicing 24/7, at what point are you going to actually be present as you were as a child? My real desire is not to achieve some weird-ass consciousness state, but to be alert, fresh, and strong. That’s all I really care about. Feeling good inwards >> Key for happiness Sometimes I feel like I put too much energy onto things. This always backfires. I help, help, and help; then… BOOM! I can’t even help myself. Haha. Or, another example: I become highly conscious and only do healthy shit; then… BOOM! Old habits kick in once again. They include overthinking, overeating, isolation, paranoia (also known as extreme fear), self-sabotaging behaviors, self-hatred, unworthiness, and intense negative emotions in general. But, somehow, I have been able to take control over my life. Yes, I know that I am an illusion, a lie, a creation of my mind, etc, but you have to understand that sometimes we need the development of the ego before its clash. Remember Leo’s story: he was a fucking 26-year-old virgin and was able to get really good in sex. Only after that did he started his enlightenment pursuits. Seriously, let us learn how to be good human beings first and foremost. ____________________________ Welcome Stage 2 of Awakening “Your life is like a dream. When you wake up from your dream, it doesn’t fucking matter if it was a good dream or a bad dream. It was only a dream. Similarly, the same thing happen in consciousness. When you Awaken, you understand that, “Oh… it was just a fucking dream. It is just a dream. So, really, why do I have to bother so much with that shit?” This is Stage 1 of Awakening. However… this is just stage 1, people! The Stage 2 of Awakening is… the full return to the Body. Hehehe. It is so funny how connected to the body you become. You two become like best friends, working in harmony once and for all. It is like you and your inner child working well for the first time in ages!! Hahaha. And that inner child needs approval to function well. Hehehe, it is that crazy… It is all an energy game. Don’t tell the child that… Hahaha. Distract him or her with something else. But that’s the truth, dude. Hehe. It is a fucking energy game. Obviously, I gravitate between those two stages. But, man, does it feel good to be in stage 2. Seriously!!! You finally understand the shit that happened in your past, you drop all your negative, liming beliefs in an instant. It feels amazing! However, I would be reckless to say: drop your seeking. Yes, it is a “waste of time,” but, dude, it helps A LOT! Like, at some point, you simply find your balance, you know? We did not come here to have Maha-Samadhi (which is the Full Awakening). Seriously, this is like becoming the sun. No, no, no! I don’t want that power. You know why? I will die if that happens. I -- as an individual -- will not be able to function in society. I will come back to the source. No! I do not want that! The goal here is to become a Boddhissatva, a peaceful warrior. We are all going to get enlightened after we die. I “experienced” physical death in a yoga class, and dude it feels exactly like what Leo described: “A huge weight was lift off my shoulders.” The material world is painful. Sorry to break to you, but pain is real. The thing is: are you always going to postpone your life? Or are you going to invoke the light of Divinity to work through you? Because seriously, I am not the one writing here. It feels like I am the one doing the work, but it really isn’t. I am just an instrument. And my mission is to fine-tune this amazing instrument that I have. My body, my voice, my brain. >> Those are my main vehicles to reach you So, it is a matter of dropping everything you think you know, and live like a fucking child. 100% acceptance of the presence moment 100% unconditional positive regards towards yourself 100% internally driven behaviors Sure, it is not as easy as it looks, but it is amazing when you start seeing the results. And then, when you start seeing a little bit more of results, you drop the searching. And then the Higher-Self and the lower-self are perfectly integrated. The point is: we fucking need the lower self. It is responsible for our survival. But do not let it be the master. You are the master here. You are the one who gives commands. The child listens to the adult. Or does the adult listen to the neurotic needs some children have? “Oh… you want a candy? Yes, yes!!! Have as many as you want!!!” Hahaha. This is the lack of order. The lack of a healthy masculine energy. What Masculine Energy Brings You > Deep values > Feeling good in the body > Tolerance to pain > Deep sexuality > Self-confidence So… let us start today. If we want the world to change, we must begin with ourselves.