Shin

Nice haircut.

Rip the fuck out of your ego !

The thing that will "grow" you the most, is watching your thoughts without critisizing them. If you do that, you will be present more and more, and thoughts, even "bad" ones won't be perceived as negative anymore. This is basically meditation, except you do it all the time, it's challenging and very unpleasant the first months/year. What you will get of this is a huge drop in anxiety (since all thoughts are just stories), and you will live in the present moment all the time. I don't know if there is a faster way to drop the identification with the mind than this, probably not (except more meditation/inquiry along it). This is way more powerful than 20 minutes of meditation per day (which is still necessary to quiet the mind), because you can be a meditation master and have a still mind, but still reacts to your thoughts/emotions when you have to deal with "toxic" people and difficult situations. @unknownworld Yes it is, but first take care of yourself untill you're extremely conscious, and have all the good habits, took care of your diet and are independant financially, have negated all your inner demons. There is no reasons to be in a relationship if you still have work like that to do, it will only slow you down.

... Because we are lazy ... After awakened from the dream of thoughts, the only reason why we still seek is either because: We don't do self-inquiry enough (30 minutes a day is not too much to ask). We don't "practice" presence/awareness enough (it has to become a second nature) We let our mind wander too much (bad diet, bad sleep schedule, no/volatile meditation habit) We let ourselves be too inconscious instead of having an iron will to discover the truth (relationships drama, too much video games/shows/tv) If we've really awakened, our thoughts doesn't matter anymore We know it can't be an experience/state of mind, and we clearly see through the illusion of what is called "future". If we remove all this shit, it comes FAST. FAST like months or even weeks ... It's all up to us There is no traps except our own lazyness at this point.

The monkey mind likes to think the big shift will occurs in a epic retreat in the mountain, sit on front the valley, tears of joy and shit. When in reality, it has much more chance to happen when you're on the toilet taking a dump ...

Now you get a healthy diet, you stop the addictions that takes you most of your time and replace that by more time spent in nature/meditation, and you just be.

Your true self and the ego, can be seen in both ways @Natasha I've talked with Leo (your brother), he told me he won't sell you for less than 42 sheeps and 7 camels. Unfortunately I only have 12 and 3, respectively

Do you realize this is the mind creating this excuse/rationalization ? The only way to know is to experience it for yourself, just don't follow the good excuses that your mind gives you. Don't listen to it, and just force a samadhi/no-self experience, and you won't believe your mind anymore when it tells you such negative bullshit Don't believe this fucker !

Your #1 priority is to get the fuck out of this house/appartment and be at peace in your own. @HypSandar I'm not a medium dude, just specify it next time Depending on your country, you can do that I think, just check the legal stuff.

I doubt that someone who's still addicted to porn can do that. Tantric masturbation or whatever you want to call it is not for someone who just start trying to quit porn and masturbation+ejaculation.

Do both. No porn is kind of useless if you don't stop masturbation altogether because you'll still fantasize women in your head while fapping. Even if you don't and just focus on your pleasure, it's still a waste of time and energy, so there is no excuses.

Read this (whether you're a woman or a men doesn't make any difference): https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges-ebook/dp/B004A8ZWM4

I just dreamed of Leo being fat, having a huge weird dark beard, with glasses, and a cool hairstyle ! He was dancing and using anime memes, talking about enlightenment, his appartment was filled with weird emo posters. After that I dreamed about an hardcore version of "The Wisperer Of Darkness" from Lovecraft, was way less funny ... @Natasha I was kinda joking, I live like 5000 km from where you work you know

You don't know that, just as the op don't know if its claim is real or not. These are just thoughts in your mind, you actually really don't know if Jesus lived, or the Buddha, or even Gandhi. You don't even know if your president is a real person or not, may be a total fiction, just like you don't know almost anything in life (as everyone else). Most of the things we think we know is just beliefs in our minds, with no first hand experience to back it up, it's just stories. This is critical to understand if you walk the path, because everything, and I literally mean EVERYTHING you didn't experience for yourself, is just a story.

https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/courses/enlightenment-1-part-2-person-wakes-up-to-presence/lesson-6-presence-is-unobscurable-already-present/ https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/courses/enlightenment-1-part-2-person-wakes-up-to-presence/lesson-8-everything-confirms-existence/

The first few months I was meditating 2 to 3 hours everyday, so every 2 weeks or so I had a samadhi. Most of them I didn't even search for, but it was kind of easy to force it by watching into a dog or a cat eyes for more than 5 minutes. I don't think you need to meditate that long everyday to get one, just do a hardcore week end with 3 to 6 hours per day in long sessions and try on some peaceful and stationary animals like rabbits or cats, or your girlfriend/wife (if she's patient ). Now you talk about short glimpses of Samadhi, but those samadhi I'm talking about lasted for like 2 to 3 seconds, but it's enough to realize spirituality is no bullshit. Same thing for a no-self experience, it's just about doing nothing in nature/meditating for a very long period of time, and it comes naturally. @Captain Flint You might not even need anything else than trying, it's not like you're a total newbie.

For how long did you search ? To say what you say, that means you didn't even get a samadhi or a no-self experience, which aren't that hard to get You can have those easily in the first weeks/months.

Drop the need for better conceptualization of the truth, and do some affirmations of "There is nothing to seek" untill it sticks inconsciously. It doesn't matter how much you understand it conceptually or how much you meditate/self-inquiry, because as long as you think it's something to get or to grasp, it will stay out of reach. Sooner or later you'll have to do that, so do it now, saves yourself years or decades of unnecessary seeking.

When you're close, but life says "LOL NO BRO"

I want her number. For experimental purpose, of course :3