UnbornTao

Focus on action and the "success" part. You keep talking about books which by itself won't make anything happen.

Let's not call them that. A breakdown is not a breakthrough. When you understand your nature, you grasp it as it is, revealing what is already true and has always been. What does acceptance have to do with this? And why would a kensho elicit fear and pain? In fact, it tends to elicit laugher and joy. This suggests that what he's experiencing might be something entirely different, like a state coupled with a fair amount of unnecessary mental activity that is leading to suffering. This is secondary to the (presumed) breakthrough and can be changed by becoming aware of what you are doing, and then by stopping that unwanted activity. Being ruthlessly honest with oneself helps. If there is no separation, why isn't love (or freedom and bliss) your experience? Why does it result in a negative outcome? If it is a direct experience, then I'd say you haven't gone far enough. Keep looking afresh at the matter, standing on the most immediate and present sense of yourself. Then, contemplate. The key is listening for a direct consciousness; the description is rather inconsequential. Speaking in "spiritual" and "enlightened" terms is not the same as knowing one's nature. There's a difference, which can be tricky to discern, but sometimes things have a certain scent.

That seems to be the case.

What is it you are going through? From the overall negative connotations of your post, that doesn't sound like enlightenment at all. You might be using beliefs to create negative states, and likely misunderstand solipsism too. States can get precipitated this way; it is a self-reinforcing cycle. It is useful not to encourage fantasies, whether positive or negative. A breakdown isn't direct consciousness. Consider that may not be enlightenment. It is your mind taking hearsay on faith and misunderstanding the situation. If a direct experience of some sort has happened, it sounds like your mind is doing unnecessary things with it. Clarity and freedom are usually side-effects, so that's another hint we might be talking about something other than an "experience" of one's nature. The good news is that whatever is true has always been the case and is true now. So cheer up, breathe, and enjoy your experience. If you want, keep contemplating who and you genuinely are, and go after a direct consciousness, not concepts, convictions, experiences or states, just what's true as itself.

Maybe looking into the broader subject of attachment itself would be a good first step.

Dune and Foundation both contain elements of spirituality within them. Jonathan Livingston Seagull is another one I like a lot.

A short punchy offensive attack. Nevermind, it was a joke.

You are creating those, yes.

"Not on my watch!!"

Stay on topic. Heard Shadow Dance is a good book for that.

We could check whether anxiety can occur whenever one is willing to be completely engaged in the present. Is that true? You sound like you can effectively create depression, apathy, etc. Because of course you can. Fear and love are other emotions which you are also doing, among many others. You somehow overlook or become insensitive to this fact. So if you want, try something different now (boredom, happiness, envy, love, curiosity). This requires becoming aware of what you are "doing" by thinking what you are thinking, and changing that. Desire to close your fist (or pick up a book, do a pushup, whatever), then do it. Did it work? Could you create desire? You did!

Why would he say that (in the context of contemplation and enlightenment)?

That is alien awakening.

Absolutely.

Can the aliens come out already?

Yes, I'm proposing that you already do; that that's how emotions come about in the first place.

Not sure what it is you are going through. As has been mentioned, I'd check the basic lifestyle factors. In any case, you could create a different disposition, such as enthusiasm.

I see what you mean. Also, for the sake of contemplation, I'm going to play devil's advocate: Perception itself is a phenomenon that provides meaningless sensory data. What is perceived is not a "tree." Instead, that distinction isn't just "perceived" but is a result of complementary activities of interpretation and sense-making. Without these activities, there might not be a "tree" there to begin with.

Farts once again are the solution.

Would that be "direct" knowledge? I'd say that it's more of a grounded, experiential, and personal knowledge, which is useful and more accurate than mere belief or memory. But what does "direct" even mean if we haven't "experienced" this possibility before? What is experience? For instance, perception itself might be indirect. Perhaps, aside from the recognition or sense that we exist, everything else is indirect. This would suggest that we don't directly experience the nature of anything. Just throwing around some thoughts.

Limitation... makes possibility real. actualizes possibility. allows for the realization of possibility.

For example, one's self-history might be false (crafted for a purpose). Even prior to the mere recollection of presumed facts, there already exists a bias of what to remember and how. Rarely is it an accurate remembrance of an event. A lot is subjective: charge, meaning, self-concept, preference. So, how accurate is our memory and what purpose is it serving? Something to look into.

Was looking to download the mp3's on the site.

There isn't a recipe, and everyone struggles and learns on the go. You can live as you want. That said, there are consequences for your actions, including your thinking. This is where life principles come into play. If you want, discover, grasp and then operate from principles that empower vitality, presence, learning, transformation, healing, etc. A couple of them are honesty and integrity, among many others. When a given principle is experientially understood, they serve something that isn't exclusively your self-agenda and little world, hence their power. If you want any of the above such as vitality and learning, you'll have to align with the "reality" that these principles demand of you. I would add: instead of seeing life as a problem that needs resolution, think of it as an adventure and enjoy it as a learning process, and then die in the end.

"Is it honest? How true is it?"