Pallero

According to Elaine Aron HSPs and introverted people often share common traits but should not be confused with one another. Sensitivity is a temperament trait that a person is born with. Introversion is a personality trait which is learned behavior. Most HSPs have understandably adapted introversion as a coping strategy, since introversion is somehow in accordance with sensitivity. However, while introversion is similar to social sensitivity, it does not take into account other forms of sensitivity: physical, psychic, spiritual. Some HSPs are extroverts. An extroverted HSP might be less sensitive socially, or simply acting according to what is socially more acceptable, even if it is more painful.

@Kelley White Thanks! To tell you the truth, I haven't paid much attention to the issue after it was solved, because I have moved on to solve other issues. But it does make me feel relieved, when I think about it. I used to exhaust myself thinking about food, exercise and appearance all day long. I didn't have energy to do much else. Now I do.

You have to put aside your personal issues with this person and decide objectively. Would you like somebody you didn't know to report somebody else you didn't know for doing this thing? Would you like to live in a world where everybody reported this kind of behavior? Think socially.

Because the thinking never stops and there is no truth. And because wine, you know.

It means that a virtuous person will behave in the most morally correct way in every situation. Rules and laws are designed to protect people from other people. If everyone acted with integrity, no one would need protecting, hence the rules would become obsolete. Of course, this applies only to moral rules, where integrity is relevant, not game or traffic rules.

Honestly? Yes, I do. Not that I have any experience in the matter. I'd love to hear an enlightened person's opinion on this.

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Thanks! I love Ralph Smart. His way of talking is so kind and empowering. What he and Aron say about accepting who you are, seeing the positive and working with yourself to relax and become happy again - all sounds very nice, but I feel like it's easier said than done. Right now, it's like the world is against me. No matter where I turn, sensitivity is shunned, not appreciated. For example, I would like to get a job because of my sensitivity, not despite of it. I want respect, understanding and love. How do I start giving those things to myself when no one has ever given them to me? How do I accept something that I'm ashaimed of?

What makes you think that a blind person doesn't have perception of subjects and objects? Do you mean that sight is a superior sense to others? How come? This whole question made me angry. Why would mentally ill be further from enlightenment? You might just as well argue that they are closer to it. Couldn't ego death seem like a mental illness? And why do you assume that people with schizophrenia are worst off, when they might actually be closest to enlightenment, since they already perceive spirits and sensations that "healthy" people cannot. This seems to me like a load of social conditioning mixed with fear and arrogance. Excuse me for being crude.

To me, it sounds like it would do you good to move to live on your own. Start creating the life you want. It won't fix your problems, but it might give you some time and space to think about what you really want and to realize that this is your life, not someone else's. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. But it's normal and it will pass. Give it time and give yourself some positive nurturing and attention. Do things that relax you and bring you joy.

As a child I developed an eating disorder, because I was unhappy with how I looked. For many years I tried to change how I looked, but that didn't make me feel any better. Only after I got professional help, I realized that I must accept myself as I am. Nothing has changed externally, but my eating disorder was cured and I currently feel ok with my appearance. I don't love my body, but I don't hate it or want to self-injure anymore.

Yesterday I had another anxiety attack and a doctor gave me a sick leave and some meds. So I went to the library and picked up The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine N. Aron. Ever since I started reading it I've gotten these amazing epiphanies. "That's exactly how I feel!" Over and over. If I wasn't on meds, I'd be probably crying my eyes out. A book understands me! In addition to being highly sensitive, I am also a sensation seeker, which according to Aron complicates things, because it creates many inner conflicts. Sensitivity makes me want to shield myself, and sensation seeking is tempting me to go out and explore. A very challenging combination. Also, I had a difficult childhood, and my sensitivity was not appreciated or supported. It's very difficult to accept fully. I was expected to be outgoing, social and active. I could not find a job that didn't involve customer service, which made me really stressed and made me hate my job. As a student, I would have needed tutoring and support, which I was reluctant to get, because it made me feel weak and needy. I have been told that I had to survive on my own. I was in therapy for several years, which made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Right now I am unable to work due to burn-out that I haven't been diagnosed with yet, but still. I'm getting help and hoping that I will be able to get some real help, without anyone guilting and shaming me like before. Thank you for reading. Can anyone relate? Thoughts? Be kind, I am highly sensitive.

I find that the best way to keep making progress is to have goals and visions for your life. Where do you see yourself in six months, one year, three, five and ten years? Once you have these big goals established, you'll find that making progress will become easier.

I might add "love is blind", which means both that you can't control who you fall in love with and you will not fall in love with looks, interests or even values. So you see, your standards don't really matter in the end. You might want to think about what is really important to you so that you won't let someone really good get away just because they aren't up to your standards. But I believe that love is strong and will find a way. You just have to welcome it even though it might look different to what you expected.

First cut is the deepest. It seems to be quite common not to be able to forget your first love/crush for years. I had a massive crush on a guy when I was 16 years old and I couldn't let it go for seven years, and we didn't even have a relationship! It was one sided but very strong. I beat my head against the wall for years, thinking "why? why? why?" and "I'm so stupid". But you just can't help it. You have to accept that there's something about your first love that is special. Forgive, smile and let it go.

I would guess that maybe he has a fear of intimacy. Porn can be very arousing and pleasurable, but really intimate sex with a loved one is a thousand times more pleasurable. It sounds like he is scared of opening up and exploring that intimacy and pleasure with another human being. Also sounds like he really wants it at the same time. He wants it but he's scared of it. That's normal. Maybe he also has some fantasies that he's scared of sharing. Also normal. You might want to bring this up if you feel like this is the issue.

Dreams are fascinating. I remember my dreams often. They are vivid and full of action, adventure and fantasy. I often spend some time pondering my dream in the morning - they are just so interesting. I'm not good at analyzing dreams though, because they are complicated to analyze.

You're trying too hard, too much and all at the same time. Your approach can make you frustrated, angry, upset and de-motivated. You are wrong: these things are hard. They are very hard. They might seem simple in theory, but in practice, they are very very hard. What makes you think they are easy? 'Cause somebody else has accomplished them? If so, you have to stop comparing yourself to other people - that's very important. You are where you are. You are what you are. There's nothing you can do about where and what you are. You have to admit to yourself that you are a "very bleak failure". Except that of course you're not. You only call yourself that for some reason. Why? Whatever the reason, as long as you call yourself that, you will stay frustrated and de-motivated. I'm sure you have already realized that this is true. Don't hate your current situation. Embrace it. Tell yourself that you are proud of where you are, find good things about your life as it is (write them down), and delete the spreadsheet. You might find it useful later, but right now, it only hurts you (obviously).

Whenever I feel that I'm getting upset, I stop to ask myself "why am I getting upset?" Then I try to find something funny about the situation. Then I say something compassionate to myself. E.g. I'm getting upset, because I have to do something that I can't do well and I'm very self-conscious. --> "Where's this perfectionism coming from? I thought I'd gotten rid of it with those exercises back in 2012!" (Makes me smile.) --> "If I think about it, I'm actually very brave to go way out of my comfort zone to do this thing, voluntarily! And this discomfort, isn't it the feeling of being alive that I'm always looking for?" I'm laughing to myself and the bad mood is gone. This is the best life hack I know.

Rye bread Soy milk Coffee Herbal tea Frozen berries Soy yoghurt Oatmeal Barley Couscous Jasmine rice Potatoes Onions Garlic Lettuce Tomatoes Cucumber Spinach Carrots Kidney beans Chickpeas Lentils Coconut milk Spices Olive oil Tofu Noodles Soy sauce Bananas Oranges Avocados Mushrooms Nuts Dried fruits and berries Chia seeds, maca root, spirulina, dried goji berries, optiMiSM Vitamins Chips/sweets Beer/wine

It's all in your head, like others have pointed out as well. What you experience is a reflection of yourself. If you want change, you have to look inside. Do you think that you are better than others? Are you afraid to admit that you are not? It's difficult to be honest with yourself and that's OK. But think: you can actually change how things are going, because all you have to change is your own perspective, and that's totally in your control.

No one else can heal you but you. Going to therapy is all about realizing this, because only after you've tried everything else, can you get motivated to health yourself.

This is very interesting because I had a similar experience a year ago. I was almost finished with my major, hated it and wanted to quit. I called a University counsellor on the phone, and she made me realize that I wanted to quit, because I was scared of life after graduation (you seem to be scared of it too?). So I quit my job and gave my undivided attention to finishing and graduating. After graduation I experienced major relief and went on to pursue my life-long dream with clear conscience. Some people told me to quit right away, but that path would have made me feel really bad about myself. Now I have a degree and while I used to think that it was useless, I have come to change my mind. As I pursue my dream, I realize that my first degree will come in handy later on in life. Just something for you to think about.

I'm so unique! So different to anybody else.

Not to worry is good advice, comparing yourself to other people is bad advice.

Yes, and for a long time it was a problem, until I learned to deal with it. - I have been called too sensitive, too dramatic, exhausting to be around, and asked to calm down and grow up over and over. - I cry easily and often anywhere. Somebody offering an elderly person a seat will set me off. - I get easily exhausted in most social situations, because I'm not able to stay grounded but get swept up in others' emotional states. - I get easily irritated by bright lights, loud sounds, strong scents... If I don't drink water for a couple hours, I get a headache. - I become very easily stressed under pressure and get completely stuck. I am able to go on when the pressure is gone. This is how I deal with everything. - I get information on high sensitivity so that I can be more patient with ignorant people. - I take care of my needs when no one else does. I take breaks, feed myself, rest, take time-outs, meditate, sleep. The most important thing is to learn to say no. If you say yes to everything, you become overwhelmed instantly. - I work alone when possible. - Since I have started with mindfulness, I have learned to notice when I'm about to get too emotional and I'm better at calming down and stopping myself. I dream about becoming so grounded that this stuff wouldn't bother me too much.