IslandWild

Worlds oldest profession.

I feel it's more likely Trump will get a 3rd term and become Emperor of America before a black woman becomes president lol.

If you gave me a list of people who are most likely to die early from unnatural causes, Connor Murphy would have been near the top of that list. This was not surprising new at all, unfortunately. His death should serve as an example of the dangers of ego when combined with hardcore spiritual work and substance use. It's clear that by his attitude and his behaviors he thought that he could basically do no wrong. From his perspective as long as he was trying to help people or get a deep message across, the ends justified the means and therefore he could rationalize any stunt or grotesque upsetting act. From the outside it appears he got nothing but positive reinforcement during his life and had an abundance of validation financially, sexually, socially etc. why wouldn't he? He was a very charming and good looking guy. He had so much success in different areas of life that by the time he came across spirituality he had a ridiculous amount of inertia and it was just another thing for him to conquer and add to the resume. It looks like he didn't properly or fully integrate the serious lessons he encountered and it caused some underlying mental health issues and traumas to bubble up to the surface and made him go insane. I don't think he's a bad person, it's just that he bit off more than he could chew and didn't know how to deal with it other than expressing himself in a chaotic energetic way. If you are going to publicly espouse and share deep spiritual insights you ought to take time to figure out where people are at and make it somewhat edible, otherwise you will just seem like a spiraling maniac like he did. He also seems to have gotten a lot of amusement out of shocking people and challenging norms. I can tell just by looking in his eyes that he was totally lost in the sauce and felt that there was no way to go back in a mature capacity, so the only way out was through. Now he's dead.

@Joshe Your post brings up a lot of good insights. I will remind myself of them as I go forwards. Thank you.

I mean I kind of laid it out explicitly in my post I thought. I want to help lots of people not just physically, but mentally and perhaps spiritually as well. I'm already doing half of that from my current jobs, I just don't want to feel too content because my intuition tells me that's going to be a trap. I certainly would like to make more money but not just for selfish material reasons, but to use it as a resource to help my surrounding environment and community in some way. I don't particularly care if my impact scales that high, I just want my presence to be a positive, powerful thing that is felt if that makes sense.

1. I show up. Even when I am sick or don't want to go to something, I basically always arrive. The best ability is availability as they say. 2. I take responsibility for things that aren't necessarily mine, or "my problem". It's not really my personality as I am generally a passive/reserved person, but I make an effort in this area because I know it will round me out. 3. I am a genuine person. I make a concerted effort to be honest with people about my values/goals and don't waste time manipulating or trying to get something from people, and if the relationship is transactional I make it clear. I try to respect their time and energy as much as my own.

Hey everyone! So either subconsciously or by reckless circumstance I took a long break from the knowledge gathering (mental masturbation) part of self-development so I could "go it alone" so to speak, and just follow my own understanding about things to take action for about 3 years, which was the last time I frequented this place. I also stopped seeing my therapist at the time. This ended up having mixed results. To sum it up I had my longest relationship come and go, which was ironically the only one that ended nastily (I think she cheated on me but I never "confirmed" it. Oh well). I also ended up starting the career I wanted as a Paramedic, and doing Firefighting part-time as well. I broke my hand Firefighting a little over a month ago so it's given me a lot of time to think about things as I'm off work, and I've decided to dive back into all this. To give a sense of where I am at, I feel like finally getting my feet in the water with my careers has lifted a large weight off my shoulders that I've had for many years, I've noticed about half of my general depressive feelings have gone away. My self-esteem has gotten better, and I'm WAY more content knowing that my survival/financial situation is being taking care of because of my work. I'm using my body and my mind on a daily basis to resolve chaos in the world and help people at their worst moments, which feels great. However, I still feel like there is another level to my growth and potential I need to start pursuing now, and that I know I am capable of. I don't just want to rest on my laurels and be content. Obviously from the nature of my work I see people from ALL walks of life, and how reality can just abruptly and brutally SLAP you in the face one day with death or severe injury/illness. This of course is also a vulnerability of mine. I just turned 33 and I realize I will likely never have more energy or capability than I do now, so I'd like to maximize this time while I can, before reality decides it's my turn to "get slapped", so to speak. I know I'd like to help others and the world in an even broader interpersonal sense than what my work allows me to do locally. Either through coaching or teaching etc. so I can help people with their mental/psychological/spiritual health, in whatever medium that suits my abilities best. Apart of growing and "leveling up" myself further will make that easier to accomplish as I go forward. TLDR - I guess what I'm asking is for the people here that are mostly self-actualized, after you established yourself in a comfortable/ideal spot in your life, what effective actions and things did you do for yourself to take that next MAJOR steps in your life so you weren't just coasting? I don't just want to feel "mostly" good and be content with paying my rent, and all the basic shit that the majority of people seem to be happy with until they die. I want to reach the fucking MOUNTAINTOP of my own journey, whatever that ends up looking like. How did YOU get direction to the top of your own personal mountain? Do you just climb and figure out the holds as you went along?