jdd243

Hey @Never_give_up, when i first started trying to overcome my own depression and general malaise I also suffered a lack motivation. It takes patience but if you apply consistent pressure towards generating awareness, you'll stand a chance of finding satisfaction with your life. I started small (and even failed a few times), 5 minutes of simple meditation (no mind, just let your thoughts float past) per day and a walk around the block in the sun, I added 1 minute every week to my meditations, and in time, ended up finding peace of mind. It's tough out there, try to be kind to yourself and set boundaries with people who enter your life. All the best.

Thanks @James123, Seems like the thing to do.

Thanks for the thoughts, curiosity/wonder without expectation is a way to describe part of the shift i've experienced. Could be that an answer to how or why isn't nessesary for being, and gets in the way of the present moment.

Hey gang, I’m looking for some insight on some recent happenings. In the early 2010’s I started looking for an out for my depression and suffering, at the time I found Leo’s content on meditation, and for many years I listened to his videos, read many books and took an interest in metaphysics, spirituality and personal development. Fast forward to 2018 I started my first real mediation practice (Neti-Neti/No mind) where I sat 5 minutes daily and added a minute a week until I reached an hour a day (along with reading), I continued the practice into the summer of 2021. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday, and I was meditating on my porch when a breakthrough happened, an experience of oneness and love, it stayed with me for what seemed like a very long time before “I” was back on my porch feeling overwhelmed. After that experience I couldn’t meditate effectively no matter what I did and dropped my practice after years of work, I found myself trying to distract myself in all sorts of ways. Almost subconsciously keeping myself from returning to inquiring into the nature of reality. My life fell apart for a few years, but I was eventually able to put all the pieces back together. In that time, I fixed or moved on from my unreliable relationships, paid off my debts, quit smoking, lost 100 pounds and found a loving partner that shares my current values and wants to grow, etc... But even with all the good there was an uncomfortable tension building again like back at the start of this whole personal development journey in 2014. A week ago, I was listing to a Diary of a CEO podcast where the guest talked very briefly about self-inquiry and how it can derail you for many years after making progress. After hearing this it almost lifted a fog and the tension was gone, I sat in wonder of what is aware in this moment, and boom, I was here. Ever since then I’ve been able to be present unlike I’ve been able to before, like in my most successful meditation sessions. I still return to my fears and expectations but going back to being present has been simple as slipping into a set of cozy slippers. I’m hoping someone has been through this or has insight about what happened, id like to understand what’s going on and any resource recommendations are welcome, thanks!