Nana_Kh

hey, i overthink everything so i can't tack decision, i can't have opinion cause it will changed after two minutes , even so simple things are so complex when entered to my head what training or exercise i can do everyday for 30 continued days to help me with that

@Martin123 thank you , I will try doing the tips you have mentioned ☺

Hey , First about one month , I haven't know what is depersonalization disorder until I was chatting with someone and he says u have that disorder I was chatting with him but I can't believe or feel really that he is normal and real person somewhere so I asked him to handwrite anything on a paper and share with me a photo of it I can't feel , Very happy moments happened to me but I can't feel it , I can't realize the presence of others, I can't ever feel the difference about what is real and what is unreal I can't feel myself , I have tried manytimes to burn the top of my finger , yes I screamed when fire touched but that voice and that response it is only my body which I can't feel I belonged to After that , I have searched for that disorder and there was a book about it named as "feeling unreal" so I read a few pages of it and cried cause I really remembered all the moments that I had experienced in my life , it was written in front of my eyes But after that , I knew that there is no approval theraby and anyway I will never have drugs which is have a very side effects and I believe that psychotherapy is powerful but I can't either to go to psychiatrist because of my family and pervious bad experience with some of my relatives and other reasons So after two weeks maybe , I have just decided to forget about all of that and try to hard work , maybe I don't have that order or maybe it will ends itself by achieving my goals and so on , I really forgot it and have been comfortable by forgetting that and just live my life and doesn't think much just try to have true results not just thinking and try to think about thinking disorder and finally don't have significant results and clear goals achieved by me but today , it was really a big day for me , I do something thing I have dreamed of it many times , but when I was it I can't feel it , I wasn't happy genuinely , I was like a robot . I was very sad for that and decide to write that here I have mediated a few times in my life , but I think every second about every thing . I have that feelings from years, maybe five years or more so does I have depersonalization disorder or it just an illusion? and how I can recover by myself without need of psychiatrist or drugs ? sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors

@MIA.RIVEL thanks a lot for sharing your experience.. It is really inspired me , I will keep what you said in my mind ?

@Soulbass ok , I will watch it now Thanks

I have been rejected from summer research scholarship program .. I am very deppresed cause I have prepared everything ..it was very hardwork I have done to be accepted .. Is there any recommendations about what I can listen from Leo's videos or things I can do or steps I can go through ? Actually I gained experience from this .. But I still feel failure .I am not sure that I can make better than I have made to be accepted ..

@Loreena good idea, I will try

@Alii yes , avoiding it is a good expression, sure I am so distracted by what you've said ,and also because it is too boring to write all of what you did in your day but at the end I found myself far away from my goals . I will try to know the reason by digging deep , thanks a lot

@Bugs what method do you use in keep tracking ?

a few months ago, I've decided to make a planner to record what I did and what I should do .. daily,weakly and monthly there are schedule for my whole year and To do list for every day and I spaces to track my time for every half an hour but actually , I haven't yet write anything on it except a little tries which I failed to continue . so should I force myself to keep tracking my day or should I change the whole method ? Is planners good for self-improvement or it is barrel against your creativity ?

@Evilwave Heddy mmm, maybe it's hard for you to understand, but he asked me for marriage then we decided to talk until I know him well and take my decision yes or no , because we are Muslims but he lives in other governorate , so it is naturally to ask for marriage when he likes however how long have we known each other .

@Shin I hope that , Thanks again

@Shin I heard the first one an hour ago , it make me more comfort with sadness I feel and allow myself to cry as I can , but I can't back to my original state before I've known him, what should I do ? Thanks for your help

I was talking with someone on internet and we have just talked for only two previous weeks at the end I felt that he lieing on me on some of his personal information. so I talked with him roughly , cause he was a big thing for me , I've shared with him things that I've never tell them to others, and he was the first guy in my life , and felt that we will marry at the future But when I talked roughly with him and block him , I discovered that he was honest in every thing that he said . Then I have unblocked him again and said I'm very happy that you was honest , and forgive me but he didn't forgive me at all and he said that I'm has no value to him , I've aplogized to him urgencly , and I contempted myself but he didn't forgive me so I've asked him to block me cause I will not forgive him easily and he did . How to forget him especially he didn't want me from first I think ????? I can't back to my original life , and the feeling of guilt killing me inside , how to escape this?? I'm very very depressed , crying all time

@Bugs Thank you very much