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About jdeugarte

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  1. @John Flores I honestly don't think too much about enlightenment anymore. If it happens great. For me it is all about what's in front of me, handling it, see the results, and repeat. It is very satisfactory and I can see the results.
  2. @John Flores, the things that arise, the new challanges, the new things that I can do after I dispose of useless concepts that I previously thought were important. I just feel happy that I am where I am knowing where I started. I feel grateful but that still doesn't mean it's easy or that I achieved enlightenment. I just chose to see it differently: enlightenment is not my goal, my goal is to solve the problems inside and outside without fighting them. I discovered that the things that trouble me emotionally are directly related to the intention I have towards life, my dreams, my actions. I really hope I made myself clear. It sounded good while I wrote it.
  3. I see it differently. I had some experiences that i really don't want to label but every time I have a new one I realize that there is more to know. I'm still waiting for the big one, the one that makes you cry and everything but as the days pass this journey gets more interesting and i the anticipation decreases.
  4. Could it be that power and the hierarchy in the animal kingdom and human society is, to some extent, determined by the degree of liberation of every individual?
  5. @jse , thank you but I think I was overreacting a little while writing the post. I don't want you to worry for me. I guess you're right, I am going through a bit of a gray phase. I really do appreciate your kind words. English is not my first language and I tend to write and say things in a different connotation. I am a little embarrassed. Thanks!
  6. @Prabhaker bad news for me then.
  7. Lately I've been thinking a lot about death. I've been thinking that death is the only thing that would stop the uneasyness that creeps in. I feel as if I am ultimately useless because all the things that I used to want, and still do in a way, and the things I am presently doing are not only useless but somewhat impure and evil. I know it is something to expect but it feels good to write it and know someone will read it. It feels as if I am what I do.
  8. Something that has a very strong connection to enlightenment in my opinion, is the lyric of Paul McCartney's Beatle song, "I'm Fixing a Hole". I don't know why but It seems to have something to do with it.
  9. @Bob84 thats what I thought. Thanks
  10. @Leo Gura Thank you, honestly.
  11. @Guivs I don't have a teacher. i live in a very isolated country in South America and I've never heard of any teacher down here. That is no excuse but for that reason I always tried to get guidance from what I found in the web. I've had some really special experiences, three or four to be more precise. At the time I thought they were it but I always had a weak feeling that told me the opposite.
  12. Lately I feel as if i were going in circles in this path to enlightenment. Right now, as I am writing this somewhat of a question, my mind finds a way give an anwer to my question, but it's not a satisfying answer. So i think that what I really want to ask is, is this it? Is there something beyond this? Or should I resign myself and learn to live with this? Thank you.