zenburnt

@vibv great response, I appreciate it. I’ve always struggled understanding what Leo means when he speaks of Love. Time for me to watch his episode “What is Love?” Thank you

Here is a message I (a God fearing man) wrote my brother (an atheist) this morning: “I just had the scariest nightmare of my life which I can’t put into words because while the visuals are still in my mind slightly, I forgot almost everything the moment I woke up. This nightmare led me to the following observation. (Disclaimer 1: This may seem like I’ve lost my mind, but I assure you I have not. People are quick to look at someone they don’t understand and call them crazy because it helps them to live in the life they were brought up in which is more comfortable for their ego to survive or feel like they have understanding over others when there is nothing to understand). (Disclaimer 2: if you take what I here say here too seriously it could lead you to insanity trying to wrap your head around it). Observation: Death leading to true pitch blank empty nothingness is hopeful and the closest thing to heaven I can imagine. I am hopeful this is the Truth, but I fear whatever is going on here is eternal. Some call it a single consciousness and others call it god (all of the population including myself are confused about what god really is). We are experiencing something from nothing, whether god exists to you or not, at the bedrock of existentialism you see that we as humans will never truly understand where we came from because who created god (the creator of us)? Some enlightened masters dedicate their life to understanding this and while I’m no master, I do feel I have the potential to be a master one day if I apply myself and work towards it. I’ve half-ass studied enlightenment for over 10 years now and have done many hours of contemplation on the subject and the idea of where we came from (only saying this to qualify my claims here, but I don’t expect anyone to just believe my word on faith without going through an internal investigation of their own). The answer to where we came from is Nothingness. We’ve always been Nothingness. The simulation theory can’t overcome the problem of “who started the simulation?” The only answer is that all that exists is Nothing and Nothingness is different than what you probably think. I’m trying to communicate something which is not thought to be communicable with words. How can a finger point at it self? (I.e. we are god experiencing itself and using words to communicate this is like a finger trying to point at itself, it’s not thought to be possible. I can lead you to the water, it’s up to you to take the steps required to drink the water). Nothingness or consciousness is empty and blank, a substance (if you can call it a substance because it’s truly nothing) which has no color, shape, smell, size, etc. and can shapeshift into anything and create any rules for the way it operates. It is an eternal shapeshifter and there’s so much I still don’t understand. I feel we get a taste of what death is like in our sleep, but life and death are two sides of the same coin I call “Nothingness” which will become anything it wants to (like how we dream of anything). We don’t have control over anything because the idea of our “self” is illusory and doesn’t exist in reality. Everything is made of this empty substance called consciousness and if you ever become enlightened you will see that Nothingness is all there ever was. When I woke up from the dream I was so scared that it made me feel that the best thing to do is to be as good and loving as possible to others and to further seek enlightenment in case the Buddhist idea of reincarnation is correct and through karma and raising our awareness we are able to transcend all forms of suffering in this life and the next. I don’t know, I have no claims to prove that being good/loving/enlightened will lead to anything good. All I know is I know nothing. 😌”

I want to become a monk. I am bipolar 1 with ADHD. I have a difficult time achieving anything in my life, whenever I begin any pursuit in my life, I give up entirely when it gets challenging. I am addicted to porn, RuneScape, YouTube and social media. At my job I want to kill myself and just escape, I know this is a terrible reason to become a monk but I truly believe if I were to do a 5-year monk program, I would be able to develop the self discipline required to make real change in my life. Also it would help rid me of all the distractions in my life and help me become content with the present moment. I want to do something big with my life but I don’t know what I want to do and I’m 27 years old and feel like I’m just watching everyone else live their life. I’m looking for any advice, is becoming a monk unrealistic for a degenerate like myself? Should I try to find peace in my daily life instead of giving up a decent job? My life feels so pointless and I’m so stressed as a wage slave, I feel like life isn’t worth living like this. I’m going to do the Life Purpose Course and report back.