Jordan

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Posts posted by Jordan

  1. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    I did 21mg of 5MEO DMT a couple weeks ago and did not write anything about it. I guess I did not have much to say about it.

    1.5 hours ago I took 3 scoops which is around 21mg of 5MEO DMT. I peaked for around an hour which has never happened to me before. It usually lasts around 30 min. I am still feeling the effects of it. I spent most of the time lying on my back unmoving just relaxing and feeling energy move around. I realized I spend way too much of my time doing useless things and should be spending this time on building something important with my life. I could be building a website or YouTube channel, trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone. I could see my relationship with my girlfriend and my parents from their point of view. I could spend some more time learning what their needs are and filling those. I can do a better job of understanding how my body works. How to massage, exercise, and make sure it is able to get though the day easily. Recently have food and knee pain quite frequently. I don't need to search for a better understanding of god right now. It is more important for me to focus on living the best life possible and get that figured out before spending too much time on spiritual pursuits although 30-60min per day should be fine. I need to show more love to myself throughout the day. If things trigger me to feel frustrated I need to recognize that pattern and just tell myself "I love you"

  3. Posted

    I don't really understand what you mean when you say "every object exist eternally and infinitely." Everything is constantly changing so I would think no object exists for any amount of time. Are you saying that when I experience waking up then walking into my kitchen, that is all 1 object? I think of one object to be an unchanging thing. Even if time does not exist in the way people imagine it, there is still change happening right? 

    Are you just saying that the present experience exists eternally and infinitely or are you talking about objects?

  5. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    Recently I have been following the steps in Leo's "Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God" video, discovering what is being created by the mind right now. Pretty much sit there, it helps having your eyes open. Realize that the planet earth does not exist. It is being created by your mind now. You are not a human that was born in the past. You are not alive right now. Time does not exist. The past is being imagined right now. There is no room on the other side of the wall etc. 

    You begin to realize that what you are Imagining is not even close to the same thing as what you experience in the moment. If you imagine that if you don't hit the break, your car will crash, what actually will happen will always be different than you imagined even if you could still describe it the same way. The actuality of the present moment is just too vast to be contained by thoughts and memories. 

  6. Posted

    I plugged 4.5 scoops around 1.5 hrs ago and it hit me really hard. I couldn't sit up for a good 40 min. I didn't really realize I had a body for a lot of the time. It seemed like I could put my attention on something and that would become all of existence and everything else did not exist including myself.

    When I started coming back I tried to figure out what was important and what I wanted most. I realized I need to sort some stuff out in my life so that I can focus on what I am doing without having things that can come up. There are some business taxes and book keeping that is late that I need to get done. I need to clean up my house and schedule out what I need to get done so that I am free to focus on how to live my life in a decent way that can help other people and the world. 

    What I want most is to be able to understand at a deep level my body, emotions, other people, what it means to live a good life. 

  8. Posted

    24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    You will never understand consciousness through meditation.

    Consciousness is way more dynamic, tricky, and radical than meditation can show you. All your meditation just keeps you locked within a very narrow band of consciousness. It's like seeing only shades of red, but none of the others colors. You cannot understand color that way. You need the full spectrum which meditation cannot offer. All your notions of spirituality and awakening will be limited to within a very narrow band of consciousness -- which hardly deserves to be called awakening at all. And thus you get weak stuff like what Tolle or Spira teach. They teach what they teach because they have no method by which to access higher dimensions of consciousness.

    Ok so most people will not understand consciousness thought meditation because the range the average person can experience is too narrow to determine much from it. You seem to believe accessing higher dimensions though psychedelics then spending more time directly embodying what you picked up is a better to go about understanding which does make sense to me. Correct me if I am misunderstanding this.

    I have been taking 5Meo dmt every once in a while. Maybe average once a month. It does seem to help me understand more deeply but I have had a feeling that I should not do it too often so I have time to digest what happened which meditation seems to help with. It did take a few times to get get an idea of what to expect and slowly increase my dose to a safe but potent amount. I may be ready for increasing my frequency a bit.

  9. Posted

    7 hours ago, axiom said:

    I recommend upping your practice to 2 hours a day for at least a couple of months if you want to really get somewhere. The trick is to reach a complete boredom threshold (usually around 35mins in) and just keep going - that’s when the real work begins. 

    It’s not really worth meditating in sessions shorter than 45 mins.

    This whole endeavour is tricky as people associate different states with different words. Some would say the  word “mind” is a particular flavour of consciousness involving awareness for example. By this definition the substrate is beyond mind - it is absolute nothingness, which is also everything. Impossible to understand with logic.

    I have been meditating 45+ min in the morning and 30+ min at night and 2-3+ hours on the weekend days over several sits. The longest I have sat was 1hr 35 min. I work until 10:30pm so the night time meditation I am often a bit tired to do more than 30 min. 

    My understanding now is there is a mind that has the internal thoughts, emotions and external see hear feel arise within it. What determines what is being experienced within the mind is not determined by one thing. It is due to many causes and effects. There is no one in control of what thoughts, emotions, environments take place. There are thoughts that try to create fragments that believe they are separate beings and try to control and dominate the rest of the experience to serve itself but fragment is one with the rest of the experience.

    I will see if I can better understand what "mind" and "consciousness" revers to when I and others use those terms while meditating for the next week or so. 

  11. Posted

    I might be rambling a bit but if you have any insights on this topic please share. I am a bit curious about it now.

    I have an idea of there being a mind that produces auditory and visual thoughts. Emotions could be considered to be produced by another type of mind. I noticed that I have not been able to notice where the mind is, it's size, how it works, much like consciousness. How can you even distinguish the mind from consciousness if you can not put your awareness directly on either of them? If neither exist the same way an object does, how can you know anything about them. You can just look at experience of thoughts and find patterns to develop an understanding of what the mind is indirectly. Could the mind be a thought we use as a ground but not actually have any substance itself? Thought is being used to ground another thought.

    How can I be conscious of how thoughts are being generated? You see them appear without being able to tell where they came from, how they were produced, how long they will continue to be produced. Their seems to be patterns in thoughts that are effected by your body position, how you breath what you set your attention on. Let me know about how you think I can understand this better and ground my understanding in my experience.

  12. Posted

    2 hours ago, JuliusCaesar said:

    Fasting is useful for ridding the body of undesirable thought-forms such as cancerous growths, physical wounds, and the like. As well as a plethora of mental disturbances that plague the human species. But in terms of altering your consciousness in an entheogenic capacity, on it's own I'd say this body complex discipline is incredibly lackluster. Especially when you consider how much more effective even something fairly impotent like 50 mics of LSD is in comparison. And also, there are other means of ridding the body of undesirable thought forms that don't involve body complex disciplinary practice.

    If you want to alter your consciousness it seems so far with my limited experience, combining 1 day dry fasting with an extra long evening meditation sit is worth trying out. 

  14. Posted

    47 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Fasted for 12 days. Didn't see much spiritual benefit.

    You will get much more benefit from eating a normal healthy diet and doing a strict 10-day meditation retreat.

    I tried water fasting for 1 day, 2 days, 2.5 days, 3.5 days and noticed no benefits and felt unwell afterwards. Dry fasting has seemed to have a different effect for me but there may be other factors I am not considering. I would really love to do a strict 10 day meditation retreat. I have not set my life up to be able to do 10 days strictly. I will have to get on that

  15. Posted

    Hello, I have not read much here about dry fasting and always thought until recently of fasting as being no food but including drinking water. I have watched many videos from the "meditation steps" YouTube channel. It is a YouTube channel on Tantra Yoga meditation and practices. One of the things they recommend is doing a dry fast two times per month. The directions are to eat a light dinner the night before the fast then go the whole next day without eating or drinking anything. You wait until at least sunrise the day after your fasting day to break the fast with around 1 liter of very salty water with lemon. The water will be expelled from your stomach very quickly and clean out your colon and you will be on the toilet after around 20 min to 1 hour releasing it. Today I am in the middle of my 3rd dry fast and I wanted to share my experience so far. I have also been meditating 2x per day for the last 6-7 weeks I think as recommended in that YouTube channel. (averaging around 1.5 hours per day I would guess)

    During my first dry fast I worked overtime at my work. I was a bit concerned about getting a migraine from being dehydrated but I ended up feeling quite good. I was very conscious of how I was breathing making sure each breath was though my nose, deep and slow to conserve water. Emotionally I felt good on the day of the fast.  I meditated 2x that day and the night time meditation was a bit better than usual.  The next day I broke the fast with the salt water. Not much of the water went through my intestines as I expected. I am guessing most of it of got stuck or there was not enough salt and it got absorbed into my body. The day I broke the fast I felt more tired than usual. drinking water never felt so good though. 

    The second dry fast, the biggest difference was that my night time meditation was much more concentrated. It was like I took a small dose of 5MEO DMT. I was able to focus and contemplate leagues above my regular sober meditation and contemplation. The next morning when I drank the 1 litre of water it was all expelled and I felt like I was really cleaned out well inside. 

    This is the 3rd time today. I took the day off work today and it is the first time not working during a dry fast. I took a long nap mid day and did not even do my morning meditation. After around 6pm I sat in meditation for 1.5 hours taking a break to go to the washroom after an hour or so. I started out feeling pretty normal but quickly got very focused. I remember thinking about how I could die at any moment and It makes sense to give my full attention to this meditation. The fasting really helped me see that I am mortal. I started meditating then went into contemplation without realizing it after becoming very focused. I kept trying to experience the difference between thoughts and the experience of my sight and body sensations. I realized that in trying to know the present experience, I compare it with my memory and concepts. The problem with this is that memory and concepts are qualitatively different than the present experience of my sight and touch perceptions. It does not make sense to think you know experience by comparing it with a model of it. Understanding something as a model does not give you any knowing of it. The only way to know the present experience is to become it. 

    Anyways, I just wanted to write this to give myself a break before getting back to meditating. Please share your thoughts or experience on water or dry fasting and it's effect on your meditation, contemplation or consciousness. If people are interested I might give an update after a few more dry fasts. 

  16. Posted

    I plugged 4 full scoops a couple hours ago. My attention was much more focused than the other trips. I was sitting up how I normally meditate on my bed after the first 5 minutes. I took away that I need to spend less time trying to make my future better and more time figuring out how to enjoy the present moment. This shouldn't be done through seeking pleasure but by finding satisfaction whether there is pleasure or discomfort. It is nice to be able to concentrate well so I think continuing meditation 2x per day is a good idea. 

    The last 6 weeks or so I have been meditating 2x per day averaging around 40 minutes each time. I want to start meditating 1.5 hours 2 times per day. Each 1.5 hour session I plan to do 3 different 30 min meditations one after the other. The plan is to do mantra meditation followed by body scanning vipassana followed by the do nothing meditation technique. When I first started meditating 2x per day I was getting extremely vivid dreams every night. I did have a vivid dream last night but it has not been every day for the last 2-3 weeks. I have been sleeping 5-8 hours usually averaging around 6.5 hours per night I think although I have not recorded the times. I was sleeping 8 hours average before meditating

  17. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    Hahaha he thinks he is real. Everyone is not real, even you. Haven't you figured that out yet. 

    But seriously, If you want your life not to be in shambles you need to realize that it does not matter if people are unreal or real. Important to believe everything is real right now if that really matters to you and will help ground your reality in something. 

  18. Posted

    1 minute ago, Nilsi said:

    Just put your awareness on your root chakra and it will tell you all you need to know about it.

    It seems like a lot of the advice to have your chakras working properly is to put your attention on them. I have been recently meditating 2x per day 40-60 min each time. Around half the time is focusing on the chakras. Is there something important I am missing about developing an understanding of my chakras or is this the main thing? 

  19. Posted

    I read that article. I will write down the important parts. It says "kayakalpa" is the demention of yoga related on the muladhara chakra. It uses "aritma" which is a secretion from the pineal gland. Aritma can be used in 3 ways:1. to strengthen the body 2.to bring blissfulness so much that you do not care how long you live. 3 Increase your perception so much that you can remove all resistance in your system. 

    It doesn't really tell you how to go about getting more aritma or how to use it. It does mention something about hatha yoga postures at the end. Does anyone have any info on aritma or kayakalpa? I guess I will search myself too.

  20. Posted

    Hello, I would like to share some things that have gotten my meditation to the next level. Around 4 weeks ago I decided to start meditating every day. I did 100 days of one 1hr per day a few years ago but fell off track and have been doing it every now and then since that time. I looked at some Youtube videos for inspiration and found this one called Meditation Steps.

    I followed the meditation technique. He also gives a lot of advice on how to improve your concentration outside of meditation. Some of that advice I am not willing to do but other things I will try out. Some of his advice is to not eat garlic, onions, meat, pour cold water over your belly, lower legs and lower arms and face before meditation, sing the mantra and dance before meditation, wear special underwear that keeps your penis from moving decreasing any distracting sensations, several others that you can find going through the videos. Previously, I watched all of Leo's meditation videos and really got great value from them but these meditation steps videos took my practice to another level. This is the first lesson on the basic meditation technique:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Msi5oaVbPU&t=13s

     The basic idea of the technique is to relax your muscles, imagine you are on top of a mountain or somewhere else that is beautiful, boundless and without other people. Once you are satisfied with that, focus on your breath until you achieve access concentration then start saying a mantra in your mind. The mantra is "Baba Nam Kevalam" meditate on that sound of your mind repeating the mantra over and over. After you are satisfied with that, you meditate on the meaning of the mantra which is basically "infinite love is all there is" or "Supreme consciousness is all there is." That is the steps he shares in this video. The only thing I add after this since I am meditating for a long time and want to do something else eventually is I scan my body especially around the 7 main chakra points. This is done at least 2x per day. 

    Some benefits I have seen so far: I am much more aware of my emotions. If I judge or insult someone in my mind, I will instantly feel shame in my belly and realize that this pattern is hurting me. I wake up after 5-6 hours of sleep when I needed 8-9 hours before. I am still a bit sleepy but not as sleepy as if I would have gotten 5-6 hours of sleep every day before. I am in a much better mood even though I was generally in a good mood before. I am able to focus better at work and notice other people's emotions more. Sex with my girlfriend has improved a lot even though it was great before. I have been much more interested in meditating and learning about emotions than playing videogames which seems a better use of my time. 

    If you are interested in starting a daily meditation practice I would recommend doing at least 10 minutes 2x a day with this technique and increasing your time slowly. 

    my morning and nighttime routine:
    1 Take a shower
    2 End it with a cold shower splashing on my lower legs and arms, belly and face
    3 Dry off
    4. sing "Baba Nam Kevalam" while dancing and with my eyes closed
    5. Set a timer for 1 hour
    6. sit on a couple pillows on my bed and do the technique

    I hope this helps someone. Good luck.

  21. Posted

    So I guess the images of a concept are real but the meaning behind them is not true. I guess developing focus and consciousness of this beliefs / meanings vs the direct experience can help you develop an understanding that is more closely aligned with the truth. Maybe this way you can slowly move closer to being enlightened. Does this make sense to you or am I off?

  22. Posted

    I am still a bit confused. Do you see enlightenment as being fully conscious of the content of experience with the concepts removed?

    It is a little confusing because concepts can be seen as made up of truth. (The concept of a house is made up of the shapes, feelings and sounds of a house in your mind) How do you tell if your concepts exist? If you are aware of them then I guess it is considered truth as well right? People already differentiate your current perceptions and concepts. I guess differentiating itself is a concept. You see it is a bit tricky to wrap your mind around it with concepts. You can see making it infinitely complicated does not help to understand because there is a self referential  problem. How do you understand anything without concepts? You can know the truth but not understand the truth without concepts.

    If someone was enlightened which makes them fully conscious of truth, how would they understand what someone says to them unless they go back to using concepts? 

     

  23. Posted

    I plugged 25mg of 5MEO DMT HCL an hour ago just now and I wanted to share an insight I had. I kept repeating phrases that I wanted to remember until I wrote them down. What I ended up writing down in this order is "we know this but we want to understand" "this is all we know that is what I understand" "this is what I know. That is what I understand" 

    "This" that I am referring to is the focus of your attention. It is the present experience. I have a strong desire to understand but all I can know is "this." All understanding is imaginary and can never be anything like "this." The difference between knowing and understanding is really bigger than I thought. This is what I know everything else is my understanding, also my imagination. It seems like the desire to understand can be a good source of motivation to do new things and read, contemplate, meditate. I really want to understand what chakras are, how understanding works, how everything works. I think the best way to go about this is to build my understanding off of direct experience as much as possible. If I learn something that seems to be true, I should try to verify it in direct experience so that I can "know it" and make the understanding aligned at least with the memory of "this."

    I pretty much just wanted to write my thoughts down during the end of this trip and I wanted to share in case anyone found it interesting/useful. 

  24. Posted

    I took 4 scoops 1 hour ago. I had a realization that I want to share before I forget. "This is what I know. That is what I understand" The only thing you know is the present moment. The focus of your attention is "this" and "this" is what I know. everything that is not "this" is "that" and "that" is what I understand. I have a strong desire to understand but all I can know is "this." No matter how well you think you understand something it is all imaginary and the only thing that you know is "This." It makes everything you understand impossible to know because "this" is all I know. I hope that is clear.

    Earlier today I meditated 1 hour, took a 1 hour nap, watched some videos on chakras, meditated again for 40 min then took 4 scoops measured to 25mg of 5meodmt HCL (one of the scoops was maybe 0.75 of a scoop.