Sincerity

I know You're expecting Leo's response but I hope others' answers are okay too. By confronting fear and experiencing rejection openly You realize that actually rejection is okay and there is nothing to be scared of. The feeling of overcoming fear and coming out the other side is exhilarating. You gain confidence because when You overcome your fears You realize that You can do all those things that were previously impossible for You. You can be rejected and You're gonna still be fine. This is what confidence is - a feeling of self-assurance arising from a recognition and appreciation of one's own capacities, abilities, qualities (definition from Google).

We know the topic is controversial, but please keep your posts respectful towards each other.

Glad You got through all that. It's inspiring! Best of luck with the rest of your path. ?‍♂️

Guess I'm a mod now. I think being a mod is going to be a great learning opportunity for me. I have to watch myself more diligently now. I'm held to a higher standard, both by others and myself. I will be more responsible with my posting from now on. I will raise the quality of my posts and replies to others. And obviously I will strive to be as impartial and unbiased as I can with moderating this forum's content. I reserve my right to sometimes be a little immature and childish in this journal (only) simply because the truth is I am not yet totally mature and this journal is supposed to be my authentic expression. Repression of childishness is not going to help me become mature and thus I might express it here sometimes and learn from it, but with moderation of course and while NOT being negative towards any users. I want to become mature and I continually work on being better. Even though sometimes I'm simply overwhelmed by my stupidity and selfishness, I promise I am trying. I might edit or hide some of my previous posts that are TOO juvenile, unnecessary and setting a bad example. Again, all of this is a learning opportunity for me and I will make use of it as much as I can. I want to be an example for others. I'm certain I will handle all of this and live up to the challenge. Even if I make some mistakes, that's okay - I will simply correct myself and learn.

I only skimmed through the video. It was shitty. The comments are what got me.

The comments under this video are so sad lol. Are people really this stupid? The discrepancy between their perspective and mine feels surreal even. Or maybe I'm the brainwashed one?

It is its own purpose. You do it because You care about it. Or don't if You don't.

Yes it is. If You want You can check out my report from an LSD trip where it felt like I was seriously gonna die. Since this experience I've been having panic attacks associated with the fear of death. At the same time I've been working on acceptance, deconstructing what death is, confronting fear, etc. Eradicating fear of death is no simple thing. It'll probably take You decades to do that, many many trips and a fuckton of groundwork and integration. Alongside all that You will probably cry so many tears and suffer so much You can't even imagine it. Eventually You might reach Leo's levels of deconstruction and realize that there is literally no death. But this insight has sooo many layers I think. It's not just one realization that there is no death, not ten, maybe even a hundred isn't enough. It goes incredibly deep. Best of luck!

To discover Truth

Maybe so I did have a lot of insights into what is beauty recently. Long story short, I'd say that beauty is literally God. To appreciate is to see the beauty = see God in something. Anything can be seen as beautiful/God because everything is that. Reality is beautiful and so is any "one thing" in reality. And since an insight is a "penetrating mental vision or discernment" or "the sudden act of grasping the inner nature or truth of a situation" (definitions from Leo's blog), an insight is also a recognition of some beauty in reality. To grasp the inner nature or truth is to start seeing more clearly. And clearer seeing = higher recognition of God/beauty/truth, greater consciousness/genuine understanding. So yeah, I think the quality of an insight can be recognized by its perceived beauty. But obviously there's also room for self-deception there so one has gotta be careful. Superb advice man. Thanks! I'm so happy with all of your guys' perspectives and tips.

Nice! Maybe You should pin this post.

I see. The analogy to materialism is eye-opening. From what I notice, I cling to things too much in general. Thank You, I will work on integrating this advice. Oh, that's a good pointer! Thanks! Also, interesting idea with the symbol Might try that Hahahahah There is something really funny about uselessness/impracticality. I think it hides a truth in it. Maybe reality is actually completely useless, trivial and meaningless... and that's what makes it beautiful? Hmm, could be promising

My chatbot is a p*ssy and doesn't want to give a straight answer

Nice, that's good advice. I'm already mostly doing that. Insights like "mind colors everything", "thoughts are immersive", "responsibility is wisdom", "wish the Truth to everyone". Indeed, in simplicity there is power and beauty. Still, there are so many that it's difficult to manage

Nice! It's similar for me. Sometimes I even have profound insights and understanding in my dreams but I forget it when I wake up That's a great point. Thanks for the perspective!

Huh. Do You find that awareness of self-deception gradually makes the mind deceive less and less? Or does it never end and You just get better and better at recognizing it?

Why/how so? What makes You remember this lack of development? If You feel comfortable answering.

?‍♂️ Who said working with psychedelics is enough to wake up? Call what enlightenment? Who said anything is a way to Freedom? Maybe I should clarify that by groundwork/embodiment I don't mean just integrating trips, but mainly doing stuff in everyday life, meditation, right living, mindfulness, contemplation, learning, surrender and letting go, etc. Steering others away from psychedelics is a disservice.

I'm blinded by the lights. Only death will set me free... But first I want to love and embrace living as much as possible. That seems kinda worthwhile.

Nooooo Leo don't bother with this shit! Anything else is more worth your time.

Easy? Anyone could do that? Nah, bro. Of course You must decide that You want to know Truth. But that doesn't exclude using 5-MeO or other substances as tools. I feel like You've got some misguided ideas about psychedelics. I suggest You investigate these beliefs (which You probably got from other people). That's part of what I consider embodiment to be. What I call groundwork You call "deep subtle work". In practice effort is required, because You are not yet capable of effortlessness. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It all depends how much You want to understand. I'd say that without psychedelics You're missing out.

Hmm. Sounds like my friends might inhabit this stage.

You're only now learning about tier 3? Bruh I myself am comfortably in tier 4 and approaching tier 5 ??

Okay so I just reread my extensive notes on the Susan Cook's EDT model I made over 3 years ago and I'd more or less assess myself like this: I feel like my center of gravity is the Individualist. It resonates with me the most. Still, I have a lot of stuff to do & integrate in the previous stages, especially the Achiever. I haven't achieved nearly enough and I feel like I really need to be more active in the world to further my development. Make shit happen, take much more action and integrate the Achiever's mindset, this way of looking at the world - that's what I feel I'm lacking. My father is basically the Expert and it's a part of me too. Gotta integrate that more and work through that stage's "problems" more. My mom is basically the Diplomat. There's plenty of conformism for me to work through as well. In the past month I sense I've kinda gone forward with my development and licked the more advanced stages. Basically when I read the issues related to these later stages they reminded me of what I've been dealing with lately. But I'm nowhere near integrating them or even knowing what they're really about. I'm happy with my growth. I'm doing good, even though it's hard for me to handle shit quite often.

@BlessedLion @Tyler Robinson