Sincerity

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Everything posted by Sincerity

  1. I know it's very easy to say, but try to forgive him. For your own selfish benefit. If You don't You'll keep carrying him in your mind forever.
  2. Logan, one of the movies I could watch anytime and be interested. I've hurt people too. You'll have to learn how to live with that. They were bad people. All the same.
  3. F a l l . You are alone, Child. There is only darkness for You and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army and we will sail through a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, Child. But I am beyond strength. I am The End. And I have come for You, Finn! Ngl, I'd love to have the power of bringing people to their knees with one word. The line "I am the end and I have come for you" puts the fear of God into me lol. The Lich is awesome. I know it's silly fantasies, I'm just having fun posting this. Every once in a while I think about the show with great fondness. I love Adventure Time.
  4. I love that Hallucinating song haha. Talking to myself in a loving manner is becoming the norm. I feel really loved by myself. I'm there for Me at last and it feels good. I've been expressing a lot of anger recently. Three days ago I was tripping and at some point a lot of anger arose in Me and I started screaming into a pillow so hard my throat hurt - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did that like 4 times and proceeded with the trip lol. I've been angry with myself for many reasons. Not knowing what I am, disappointing myself, lying, ignoring important aspects of My life. Crafting a detailed suicide plan one month ago when I was at my lowest. Fuck. The last one stings the most. I mean not so much anymore I think because I expressed a lot of the anger already (working through it step by step everyday) and tried to forgive myself but yeah. It may still be lingering there, idk. I wanted to share this for the sake of honesty. Now I'm feeling better, cleaner, happier. I'm more motivated from a place of love. I'm being more expressive with people, genuine, peaceful. Things are looking brighter. I'm reading Radical Honesty right now. I love the book, read over half of it so far. It's inspiring Me to express my emotions (especially anger) openly with others and not lie about shit. Like I'm lying to my family about my psychedelic use, forum use, all that stuff. I won't expose everything all at once but I'll do it in small steps. First I'll tell the truth to my sister. Next to my mom. Next to my dad. Baby steps + I'll do it wisely. I'll certainly practice these conversations first in my mind. It'd be nice if I lived up to my name, right? Because so far I've been Insincerity in so many ways, I feel. Fuck that, man. I wanna be Love itself.
  5. Please don't change the topic to Andrew Tate guys. Stay on point
  6. The coyote was not AWAKE enough for him. kidding I changed for the better a lot in the last 2 years, my relationships with family members became much more love-filled so if I told them that I used psychedelics as tools for change in a safe manner I imagine they'd come to terms with it.
  7. Winter, this year. I was on a walk when I suddenly got the urge to take off my coat and roll in the snow. Had to prove my devotion to intuition or whatever the f***. Two weeks ago. Intuition told me to take acid at midnight (& focus on consciousness as hard as I can), family sleeping in their rooms. I was told everything would turn out okay and it did. I often get the urge to stare at things for a long time. I can interrupt a walk and focus on a stray cat or bird for half an hour. Staring so hard my vision gets wiggly.
  8. Sooner or later I'll be back though. For sure.
  9. I miss Home, man. I'm Hallucinating.
  10. Not saying this can't happen, but You can mitigate it by being honest with yourself, not relying on beliefs, expressing yourself authentically with others, etc. There was a time when I felt very isolated. Fortunately, not anymore - if You care to know. If I BELIEVED myself to be the only conscious person in existence I'd be a f&*#ing idiot, to put it frankly. Because it's not about belief. Do You understand this? And there's no reason why I wouldn't be talking to You. I could still talk to "anyone" and do whatever. Like I'm doing right now. Sorry, but You show You don't know what You're speaking of. I don't give a damn about the solipsistic worldview and its assumptions. Rest assured I'm humbling myself down everyday. Just mostly not in front of humans.
  11. Don't be ignorant. I love my family and friends too. And I'm "in the illusion" most of the time. Just now my sister entered the room, she's buying herself a beer for the first time lol. That doesn't mean quack. When You're conscious enough, You can see through everything. For what it really is. I'm not conscious of it right now btw.
  12. Leo said, Razard said... Where's your authority? These beliefs ain't doing You good dude. I'm not denying the truth of aloneness btw. But You're not conscious of it right now. You're talking distorted memories.
  13. @CARDOZZO Good stuff
  14. @Danioover9000 Stop derailing the thread with pettiness.
  15. I'm thankful to be featured here. Honestly I don't think the report is that good but You know, if some other folks like it... That MDMA trip feels so distant too. And yet it was only 4 months ago... time moves really slow for Me haha. My recents LSD trips have been way way deeper than that. Also I have a feeling that what I wrote is not really what happened. I painted a story with words but the experience really was soft, indescribable and profound... and my story just isn't it. That's why I kinda cringe at the idea of rereading it. In fact right now I feel this way about all my previous trip reports. They're all bs. Even my memories of these trips are bs. Nothing compares to present experience and I think it's dumb to dwell in the past. Even though of course I'll most likely make this mistake a million more times haha. I didn't write trip reports from my previous two trips because it's useless. Well, at least I made that one recording I shared but it was just the beginning of the trip and yeah... Still doesn't convey quack. Focusing on experience has been magical lately. I really don't know... I just don't know. I've been afraid of it, feeling stupid because of it, feeling sad, angry, guilty, joyful... And I still don't know. What do I do about it? I don't know. Do I have to do anything? I don't know. Can't I just accept it? I dunno. It is what it is and I'll admit it's pretty damn beautiful if I'm honest. But being honest is hard haha.
  16. It's only a recent development... You're too nice Sine. @Spiritual Warrior Yeah talking to yourself in a nice way is really transforming. Not only does it greatly change your attitude towards You, but also towards others. You'll see everyone in a much more positive light. Try calling yourself sweetheart once in a while - and mean it. In your thoughts, journal entries, reminders on your phone, calendar events, sticky notes, out loud... Whatever names You like, get creative. Call yourself how You'd want to be called by your loved one. And notice the difference in your well-being. You receive love by giving it to yourself. Then with that love You gain the strength to give more. It's a possibility for You to become an endless fountain of love. So go for it! And do it in a way that works for You. How would You like to be given love? How would You like to give it?
  17. You're the one making these negative posts for months. Your beliefs and INTERPRETATIONS of awakenings have corrupted You and are running You. And they're not even close to what's true. As if a belief could ever be. Get a hold of yourself. You are not a powerless victim, You are fucking God. Take some responsibility. It happens EXACTLY out of your personal will!!! Oh my God hahaha. It's just that You don't want it! Notice You've been kicking and screaming for who knows how long, saying reality is a disappointment or God is evil or whatever. You just can't accept and You're blaming some God that's supposedly other to You, lol. Be careful, You're letting your mind spiral You into a dark hole. The consequences could be deadly for You and I mean it. Don't fall into the trap of waiting for something to save You - the only one who will save You is YOU. You have to do it, out of your own God damn will, whether You believe in it or not. Or destroy yourself, up to You. Some tough love for You. You're welcome.
  18. Bs from the get go. Free yourself from this belief-prison You're creating for yourself. Humans are not robots. It's not predetermined or whatever. Throw this garbage out already. What are You so afraid of? What are You resisting? Contemplate that perhaps.
  19. So... now You wish your username was LSD-ChatGPT?
  20. I'm doing CS50p right now actually haha. Yup CS50p, codewars, w3school, realpython all good. * * * * * * * * * * * There's so many great sources, tutorials and courses You can't make a definitive list of which are best. Just start learning. My additions: https://www.techbeamers.com/python-tutorial-step-by-step/#tutorial-list --> Good tutorials. https://docs.python-guide.org/ --> Another guide I'd recommend. Have a strong motivation to learn it or You'll run out of steam. Not just because "it seems to be a high value skill to have".
  21. The higher standards as a mod are a blessing. I have to be slightly more vigilant with my idiot mind. That's good. But of course it's not only about being a mod, it's not even the main reason. I want to be more integrous and all. No. I was joking. I was never addicted to no substances, except for sugar I guess. MAYBE I'm addicted to coffee, idk I love it.