mr_engineer

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Posts posted by mr_engineer

  4. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Funny enough many women are not thinking that far ahead. They aren't thinking at all. They will sleep with any guy who makes her feel good and leads her to a bedroom.

    I mean, romance-novels and rom-coms are based on some truth about what women want, right?! They cater to a primarily female audience. 

  5. Posted

    @something_else Let's put you in the shoes of a woman who's a 9.

    How many beta-orbiters/PUAs does she have at any given moment?! At least 10. Those, she doesn't give a fuck about. 

    How many capable guys (8s) does she have, willing to commit to her at any given point? 4-5. Those are who she's dating on and off, depending on her mood. 

    When it comes to 9s and 10s, in order to get into that group of 4-5 guys, you have to make up your mind about her. You have to get to know her and make up your mind as to whether you would commit to her or not. (That is if you have the ability to do so.) Then, if you want to commit, here's how you stand out from the other 4 guys she's seeing - you show your romantic side and you tell her what you want. If it's something other than 'me want to fuck', you can get her! 

    Most women see men as narcissists who think with their dicks. Some of them are capable enough to commit, some of them aren't. So, she sees it as her job to reject those who aren't capable and to sexually manipulate those who are capable, to commit. Now, if you showed a genuine desire to commit, you would be the exception! 

  6. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    5 minutes ago, Consept said:

    You feel bad or disrespected when someone calls you that, but that's subjective to you, other people might not care. So just because you feel bad doesn't mean the word should be banned. 

    Ah, so we're doing it like that. 

    Why don't we unban and un-taboo the use of the N-word too, while we're at it?! Sounds like a fun society to live in! 

    5 minutes ago, Consept said:

    You're suggesting that if women feel uncomfortable around men for whatever reason they should take responsibility for it and not blame the gut. Similarly you should take responsibility for how you feel and not blame anyone else 

    The goal here is to have working relationships. So, if you're feeling uncomfortable around other people who aren't outright disrespecting you, that's a you-problem. 

    If the goal were to atomize the society and make everyone lonely, then it makes sense to blame the guy for even existing in her vicinity. Then, we can encourage all disrespectful behavior, including the use of the word 'creepy'. 

  7. Posted

    Just now, Consept said:

    @mr_engineer

    If you're overall point is that women should take responsibility for how they feel, shouldnt you take responsibility for how you feel when the word creep is used? 

    As someone who does take responsibility for how I feel about it, I propose banning the use of this word from dating-discourse. 

    I think it's fine to expect others to treat you with respect, right?! It's disrespectful to call someone 'creepy' (which is another word for 'unlovable') and we should not tolerate the use of this word towards us. 

  8. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    22 minutes ago, Consept said:

    I'm not sure they arent illegal but even if they are, they're still creepy behavior. You could say the examples are potential precursors to illegal action.

    Either they're illegal, or they're not. 

    22 minutes ago, Consept said:

    Also do you accept that there are many crimes committed against women, rape, abuse etc that are predicated by creepy behavior?

    There are also many crimes that are not predicated by what you're calling 'creepy behavior'. It really just boils down to how the woman is feeling, which can be very different from objective reality. 

    21 minutes ago, Understander said:

    You can justify your behavior by saying that you are providing and protecting.

     

    Either you are providing and protecting, or you're not. If you are, you're masculine. And, if you're using this fact to justify toxic behavior, it's not the 'masculinity' in and of itself that's 'toxic', it's the behavior that it's being used to justify! 

    15 minutes ago, Understander said:

    But is there really a balance of power?

    I meant 'imbalance'. 

  10. Posted

    4 minutes ago, Consept said:

    if a guy is following a woman late at might on a street and not saying. If a guy stares at a woman's crotch or tits whilst speaking to her. If a guy touches a woman's ass on purpose on a crowded train. If a man tells a woman he just met he's imagining having sex with her. 

    The first three are illegal. The first one is 'stalking', the second one is 'ogling', the third one is 'sexual assault'. And, the fourth one is not illegal but it's not advisable because it comes across as 'narcissistic' and 'objectifying'. So, I would prefer to not use the word 'creepy' for it, I'd rather say 'objectifying'. 

    4 minutes ago, Understander said:

    Masculinity, like femininity, can be toxic. That's why men, who mostly identify themselves as masculine, can be toxic.

    This is because of the cultural definition of 'masculinity', which is exclusively about 'conquest' and 'achievement'. That's not the reality of what masculinity is about! In reality, masculinity is about providing and protecting. 

  11. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Understander said:

    @mr_engineer

    Also, no one here is defending women blindly. They do it because a lot of men believe they are superior because they have power, whether it is given to them naturally or by humans. So, those men are basically being against women.

    Is having the power in and of itself 'misogynistic'/'toxic'? Or, is the abuse of this power a product of a 'misogynistic' ideology? 

    Is the problem that men have power, or is it that men are abusing it? 

  12. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    11 minutes ago, Consept said:

    @mr_engineer

    What do you regard as real toxic or creepy behavior in men?

    'Creepy' has nothing to do with behavior and everything to do with how the other person feels about it. If the other person feels 'creeped out' by your behavior, you could smile at them and they'll still call you 'creepy'. 

    And, 'toxic' behavior (that's legal) includes: 

    • Sexism, 'women belong in the kitchen' type rhetoric, 
    • Overtly controlling and disrespectful behavior, 
    • Aggressive and threatening behavior, lacking impulse-control (pointing fingers, shouting, fist-clenching) This need not be threatening to the other person, that's illegal, it could just be displaying uncontrolled aggression towards anything in front of women/children. 
    • Swearing in inappropriate settings
    • Abusing power, hypocrisy 
    10 minutes ago, Understander said:

    Women are against men who are toxic.

    Again, it's not the men themselves who are toxic, it's the behavior. You have to correct the behavior, not call 'men' or 'masculinity' toxic. 

     

  13. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    4 minutes ago, Understander said:

    @mr_engineer 

    Do you agree to ban the real toxic behavior of men? I know those words can be thrown at you, even if you're not being toxic (maybe you are, I don't know). But see them as a defense mechanism.

    If you could define what 'toxic behavior' meant in a convincing manner, yeah, I would agree to ban it. In order to ban it, though, you do have to define what 'toxic' means first, in practice. If you're staying in the realm of theory, that word is too ambiguous. It's a catch-all term that can be thrown at anyone. That's why I want to ban the word. 

    4 minutes ago, Understander said:

    You're not the only man who exists. Banning them might help you feel good, but it'll be hurtful to women as they will lose power to speak against men, who are really toxic, and there are a lot of them.

    This is what I want to ban. 'Speaking against men'. Speak against toxic behavior, but why are you against men?! Why 'empower' ('enable' is the actual word) women to 'speak against men' and hurt men? 

  14. Posted

    1 minute ago, Understander said:

    Those words aren't used only as slurs, and even if they are, they are not equal to the N-word. I know that those words can be hurtful. But you don't have to care about it, as it's easy to misunderstand others while processing emotions, regardless of whether they are right or wrong about you. The real solution is knowing your place everywhere, whether others are being mean, compassionate, right, or wrong.

    Do you agree with banning/tabooing the usage of these words? 

  15. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

    Nobody is going to ban the N-word from my vocabulary, I use it as I see fit, I don't care. If someone can't stand the sound or meaning of a word it's their own issue.

    Yeah, but you can't actually call someone the N-word, right? You will be penalized for that, right?! 

    5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

    How about you stand up for the men you think are unrightfully called toxic and creepy?

    I mean, saying that 'don't unrightfully call men toxic and creepy' isn't going to do much, cuz everyone who uses these words is already being self-righteous. I prefer banning the words altogether, so that they have to come up with more constructive terms to talk about their issues. 

    5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

    Here you got something to fight for instead of making your life easier by banning words (which is wokeist illusion).

    I don't want to fight anything/anyone. The words themselves are the wokeist illusion. So, if we ban the words, the illusion will break! 

  16. Posted

    8 minutes ago, meta_male said:

    Unfortunately most people have no interest in making your life easier. Unlike people on the forum that are hard to come by in real life.

    That's why you make your own life easier, by banning the words yourself. There is no point in calling someone 'creepy' or 'unlovable' or 'toxic'. Men have to unite against the usage of these words, we have to taboo them. They should be seen as the equivalent to the 'N-word' for Black people, because they are. 

  17. Posted

    2 minutes ago, meta_male said:

    Girls getting taken advantage of by creeps and toxic men won't have a better life. You just can't accept the fact that you're a creep. So what? I'm a creep too. So is every human being. Have you ever seen a real person? They're creepy as fuck when you think about it. Just accept your creepiness so you can move on.

    But calling them 'creeps' and 'toxic men' doesn't solve anything, right? You have to get to the bottom of why you felt 'creeped out' or what 'toxic behavior' the person (not 'man', person) was doing, so that you can solve something. 

  18. Posted

    On 3/5/2024 at 9:46 PM, Israfil said:

    You're simply using sophistry to justify your social inadequacy.

    If this is not a personal attack, I don't know what is. You don't know jack shit about me and you're telling me that I'm being 'socially inadequate'. 

    On 3/5/2024 at 9:46 PM, Israfil said:

    Thirdly, be open to the possibility that people on a self-development forum are interested in helping you develop yourself. Your defensiveness is only detrimental to both your social and intellectual development. Your refusal to engage with comments that challenge more deeply your convictions might be holding you back in the endeavor of constructing a more coherent worldview.

    I don't trust you people to help me 'develop myself'. That's a lot of power I don't wish to give you people, because of the assumptions and personal-attacks. 

    Right now, the point of discussion is about the ground-rules of dating-discourse. What I'm saying is that because 'creep' is an ad-hominem attack in bad faith, it shouldn't be a part of dating-discourse. What do you think of that?! 

  20. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    On 3/5/2024 at 2:44 PM, Consept said:

    Imagine talking for literal years on a forum about how you should be allowed to be creepy towards women, whilst never actually talking to any women irl. This is peak Internet. 

    Let's say you win this argument @mr_engineer and everyone agrees with you, youll still be in the position. Just go out and talk to women, theyre not that bad i promise 

    The fact that all of you resorted to personally attacking me, saying that 'I'm not going out and talking to women' or 'I'm not getting laid' or 'I'm giving my power away to women' or 'I'm socially inadequate' or 'I'm complaining', already tells me that I've won the argument. You people are saying any nonsense about me, just to deflect from the main points I'm making. 

    I don't need your 'help', I never asked for it. Why should I trust what you have to say, when you're making these assumptions about me?! Why should I assume that you're being objective about other things, if you can't even be objective about me?! 

    The reality is that you don't know ANYTHING about me. ANYTHING. I'm fully anonymous on here. Everything you're saying about me is assumed. 

  22. Posted

    1 minute ago, Understander said:

    @mr_engineer

    So this is why you champion being nice. The things you say here you won't say to women face-to-face because you still want validation from them, even though you're against that.

    Actually, I'm looking at whether you can come up with rational objections to what I'm saying, before I actually say these things to women. 

    So far, I haven't seen any. Maybe I will say these things to women! 

    Just now, Princess Arabia said:

    If you call my statement a personal attack, you don't know what it is to verbally attack someone. Saying to someone that you gave your power away without realizing it is not an attack.

    It is. 

  23. Posted

    1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

    I can be talking to my husband and he might say something to me which I may respond in a joking way ,"ooh, that's creepy". He will say, no it's not, you're just being too sensitive, and I may say. I'm not, its just creepy. Then we change the subject in a flowing way, go home and have crazy sex. Why should I advocate to make the word creepy taboo. I call a spider creepy.

    Point taken.