mr_engineer

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Everything posted by mr_engineer

  1. No, that's domination and submission. Submission is natural to femininity, but objectification will feel unsafe to a feminine woman. Usually, there is in-depth communication about turn-ons, turn-offs and building of trust between them for the woman to consent to this kind of sex. This is the opposite of objectification, where there's no communication, you're just acting on your impulses.
  2. Right. Now, from female perspective, the problem is that the objectification is the cause of a lot of trauma for them. I agree with you. Now, having said that, the concern of how conscious you're being, is a very different one from how ethical you're being. As long as you're following the law, you're being ethical. (You can be an ethical, peace-loving narcissist!) But, if you want that the sexual-experience actually feels good to her, if you don't want to be a part of the problem of unconsciousness in PUAs, that's a totally different ballgame. Now, narcissism will not fly.
  3. Right, so there are other ways to learn. Like, going to meetups, going to social events, going to concerts, talking to women at work, etc. Why pick-up? Why random women on the street? It's not obvious. Then, when you look farther into it, you realize that they're thinking with their dicks. They see a hot woman, their dick gets hard and now, instead of channeling their sexual-energy into their work, they go 'me want to fuck, me go talk to strange woman'. It is kinda objectifying, if we're going to be honest, to make the decision to pursue a woman just because of the way she looks. This is the practical reality of pick-up. Now, you may say 'not necessarily, what if she made eye-contact with him and they had an instant connection? Shouldn't he know how to convert that?' What I'm talking about is the norm, this would be the edge-case.
  4. As I said, in theory, there is a way to do pick-up ethically and there is nothing fundamentally unethical about pick-up. In practice, though, the big thing driving PUAs is insecurity about their attractiveness, which they try to cover up by building a body-count. The whole body-count thing is an ego-boost for PUAs and using women as a tool for this ego-pursuit is definitely unethical.
  5. It's not pick-up itself that's low-consciousness, it's that the pick-up community right now is littered with unconscious individuals with shallow motivations. Most of them are players who only want to get laid, who don't want to commit to women. This is a selfish approach to dating and it causes women a lot of trauma.
  6. There is a possibility that I will meet my sales-targets next month. And, if I do, I will be all set to achieve financial-freedom in 1 year! I won't be rich yet, my life will be simple and frugal. But, I will be free! Leo and actualized.org will have a big role in this achievement. Thank you all for being the support that you are! Wish me luck.
  7. I'm saying that there can be better definitions for 'frame' than what he's describing and that if we hold onto this definition of 'frame', we can only get a 'good girl', who is essentially a 'yes-man'. Feminists will say that you're 'toxically masculine' and 'good girls' will think that you have 'strong frame', until the day you make a mistake. Then the RAS-flip will happen and all bets are off when it comes to the future of the relationship. In order to come up with a better definition of 'frame', first, you have to figure out what you have to offer to women. Meaning, which love-language can you speak! Then, you can hold 'frame' in that love-language. And secondly, you have to understand why women are looking for a man with 'strong frame'. The reason for that is that they feel unsafe in the world and they need a man to protect them. Now that you know this, you can come up with a definition of 'frame' that falls within your love-language! So, if it's words of affirmation, then it makes sense to be ideological in your 'frame'. If it's quality-time, then the way you hold frame, is by giving her focused presence. If it's physical-touch, then maybe the way you hold frame is by giving a hug or cuddling. If it's gifts, then the way you hold frame is by having shared experiences and then gifting her a memento of that experience. If it's acts of service, then the way you hold frame is by working on something together and leading that team-project.
  8. What he means by 'frame', is actually ideology. You have to have a self-serving ideology in which 'you're a 10'. Some will call this grandiose narcissism. I think it's fine to think that you're the shit as long as your rationale is grounded in reality. Cuz there is a danger of buying your own BS with this frame-stuff (or at least, the way they're defining 'frame'). Now, about the RAS-flip - this will happen with 'good girls', or girls who could earn the approval of their fathers. Is this a problem? Yes, it is irrational and biased to only pay attention to the 3% where someone messes up and not to the 97% where they do well. We can all agree on that. The question is - why do they do this? Before I give my answer, I will talk about Owen's rationalization for it. He's saying that 'it's a defense-mechanism to stop them from getting impregnated by a 'beta-male''. The question, though, is - what is a 'beta-male'?! If you can just decide to be an 'alpha', in your mind, you're the 'alpha'. But then, why is she deciding that you're the 'beta' and why is she flipping on you the moment you lose frame? This is not something that should obviously happen with all women. Because, some women are smart! Some women are rational, they can weigh the facts and make a rational decision and give some margin for error. So, what kind of woman will this happen with? And why? This will happen with 'good girls'. Their father 'held frame' in a certain way for them. So, now, when you 'hold frame' like that for them, they will be attracted to that. Now, here's the thing - the way they related to their fathers, is that they earned his approval and he gave it to them. And, in the process of earning his approval, they gave up certain aspects of themselves, that would have been disapproved of! They hold this resentment towards their fathers, it's a daddy-issue. But, they can't confront their fathers on this, because the father is going to tell them how many sacrifices he made to raise them and how his morality is actually a 'hard-learned lesson of his life', they can't win this argument with their fathers. Now, in the situation with you, when you 'break frame', they're going to perceive it as you not making those sacrifices that their father made to keep frame! So, their resentment towards their father will show up in that moment and will make them rationalize it as 'If he isn't making this sacrifice for me, why should I make these sacrifices?! Let's bias ourselves against him and rebel against him and do the RAS-flip!!' That's why they do the RAS-flip in that specific situation.
  9. About your OP - don't build castles in the air. Real life is very practical, very hands-on. And, notice that most people don't realize their Life-Purpose. The reason for that is that they have bills to pay and they simply don't have time to explore different things. So, I'd suggest that you set some high ambitions for yourself in terms of success and be willing to work hard to achieve those ambitions. Then, you will have enough time and energy in the future to explore these other interests of yours! They can be hobbies. But, the point of work is to make money and the point of a Life-Purpose is to make a unique contribution to the world.
  10. First of all, drop writing. It does not look like you have an aptitude for writing. Now, if you are a barber, here's what I would strongly recommend - you learn about hairstyles, you get into hairstyling. You develop some sort of expertise in hairstyling. Also, follow some social-media trends when it comes to hairstyles. Maybe make Instagram-content and if you want to build some E-commerce skills/digital-marketing skills, do that for the hair-salon you work at first. Then, maybe in the future, you could go to California to make it as a hairstylist in Hollywood or something.
  11. @Curious_classic What do you currently do?
  12. It's just common sense. There are reasons why women get into OnlyFans. Some of them will make ASMR videos and shit, in which they're selling a character to you based on your fantasies. All of that is fake! All of their branding is fake.
  13. Lol, there's nothing 'genuine' about the way they relate to men. What they're selling is all fake anyways. They have faced a lot of bullshit from men. In their experience, men are narcissists who think with their dicks. On top of that, the men paying their bills are 'incels who live in their mom's basement and can't get a real girl', in their eyes. They do not have a very healthy relationship with men in general. They are traumatized individuals. If you really want to do this, I'd advise you to start with empathizing with their traumas. Having said that, I would not hold my breath. Because, if she only wants your money, she herself is a narcissist. So, even if she 'shows interest in something else', she's going to be empty on the inside, which will make her unloving on the outside.
  14. And what if this rubric contains elements which would have direct consequences for your quality of life, when you're in relationship with her?
  15. This is the type of predicament that Albert Einstein found himself in, as an American scientist working on atom bombs during the WWII, because Werner Heisenberg decided to do that for Germany. The predicament was that 'If world-class scientists of other countries are working on this high-leverage weapon, the world-class scientist of my country (me) has to work on it for my country!' You're not Einstein or Heisenberg, though. There are already enough big-wigs working on missile-technology and stuff like that. Morality is a much simpler decision for you. It's more about what you want to do with your life and what your value-system is. Never forget that AI is on the rise and that one day, what you build won't belong to humanity - it'll belong to AI. Precisely because geopolitics will become so complicated that the bureaucratic responsibilities will be entrusted to AI, including the operation of high-tech weapons. There are a lot of interesting technical challenges in a lot of other areas. Please, do some good work with your time and energy. Make a positive contribution to the world.
  16. No problem if it's legal. You know that I only care about what's legal and not about people's opinions, right?!
  17. I don't stand for it in my personal life, it's a no-no for me. I don't want to date girls who drink.
  18. Offer a drink, maybe?! I'm not sure, I've never paid for booze cuz I don't drink myself. I've heard friends tell me that it works.
  19. A suggestion to develop state - focus on what you have to offer to them.
  20. YOU MISOGYNISTIC CREEP!!! ARRRRR!!! Don't misgender yourself!!
  21. I mean, romance-novels and rom-coms are based on some truth about what women want, right?! They cater to a primarily female audience.
  22. @something_else Let's put you in the shoes of a woman who's a 9. How many beta-orbiters/PUAs does she have at any given moment?! At least 10. Those, she doesn't give a fuck about. How many capable guys (8s) does she have, willing to commit to her at any given point? 4-5. Those are who she's dating on and off, depending on her mood. When it comes to 9s and 10s, in order to get into that group of 4-5 guys, you have to make up your mind about her. You have to get to know her and make up your mind as to whether you would commit to her or not. (That is if you have the ability to do so.) Then, if you want to commit, here's how you stand out from the other 4 guys she's seeing - you show your romantic side and you tell her what you want. If it's something other than 'me want to fuck', you can get her! Most women see men as narcissists who think with their dicks. Some of them are capable enough to commit, some of them aren't. So, she sees it as her job to reject those who aren't capable and to sexually manipulate those who are capable, to commit. Now, if you showed a genuine desire to commit, you would be the exception!
  23. Ah, so we're doing it like that. Why don't we unban and un-taboo the use of the N-word too, while we're at it?! Sounds like a fun society to live in! The goal here is to have working relationships. So, if you're feeling uncomfortable around other people who aren't outright disrespecting you, that's a you-problem. If the goal were to atomize the society and make everyone lonely, then it makes sense to blame the guy for even existing in her vicinity. Then, we can encourage all disrespectful behavior, including the use of the word 'creepy'.
  24. As someone who does take responsibility for how I feel about it, I propose banning the use of this word from dating-discourse. I think it's fine to expect others to treat you with respect, right?! It's disrespectful to call someone 'creepy' (which is another word for 'unlovable') and we should not tolerate the use of this word towards us.