mr_engineer

I'm not asking to be convinced, I'm asking for clarification. What do you mean by 'better'? 'Better' relative to what?

Who do you want me to approach and for what?

That's because porn conditions you to be the watcher, whereas the highlight reel makes you feel like she's seducing you directly, so it makes your ego feel better to get off to that. This can happen when you're only caring about your pleasure/you're not caring about her pleasure. Aka, if you're objectifying the women you're getting off to. Sexualization is not the same as objectification. It's the decision to sexualize a woman only based on looks - that's objectification. So, if you are also looking at her personality/what she's into, you're checking for compatibility and you're consciously choosing to sexualize women based on that, it can elevate the level of consciousness of your sex. Then I think you'll be fine.

Of all the things that millennials and Gen Z's are burnt out on, this is one of those things. The topic of why men don't approach anymore is a book in and of itself. Here are a few of those reasons: Availability of porn: Because of the availability of porn/the illusion of women being accessible through online dating and social media, men can fap and get an orgasm like that. It may be a certain percentage of enjoyment of actual sex, say 10%. So, it's just easier to fap 10 times, than to approach 10 women, get rejected and work on your game. (This is a complaint a lot of women have and women will have to adapt to this new reality.) Looks aren't enough for men who date seriously anymore: A lot of women are in this illusion that just because they look hot, men should want to commit all of their money to them. That's not true anymore, because of the previous point. Because men are starting to see through the veil of looks and because men understand that 'romantic love' is towards a feminine personality and not towards a woman who looks a certain way, cold-approaching women just because they have big boobs isn't worth the effort anymore for guys who want more than sex. Fear of being seen as a 'creep': If you ask men why they don't approach, this will be the most common answer you'll get. Feminism has really made approaching dangerous and we have to really decide whether a certain woman is worth the risk or not, because of the possibility of her calling you a 'misogynist pig', 'creep' or just outright falsely accusing you. Cold-approach is inferior to warm-approach in terms of conversion-rate into dates: The reasons for this is that cold-approach is done purely based on physical appearance. But, if you have a social-circle and you get to know the woman through other people who you know, you can know more about her before you decide 'I'm dating her' purely based on appearance. (And by the way, Insta-DMs and online dating are forms of online cold-approach and are also purely based on appearance.) You can judge compatibility before taking your shot. A lot of women don't get this, though, because they think that looks should be enough too. Because traditionally, this has been the case, men have approached only based on looks up until this point. And, because a lot of men are utterly friendless, this option of warm-approach is not on the table for them. Now, before you jump on me with the 'tHeSe ArE eXcUsEs, yOu cAn dEcIdE tO aPpRoAcH aNyWaYs', calm down. I know that you can decide to approach regardless. These are not excuses. They are the reasons why a lot of men are burned out on the approaching-front. And, even though it is true that you can just decide to approach more, that may not be the solution to the issue of burnout. The solution, from what I've seen, is: To figure out what you want from women. Especially if you're cold-approaching someone, you're not really seen as a 'friend', you're seen as a 'stranger', so it's purely transactional. And you have an opportunity to flirt right off the bat, which is why a lot of PUAs like doing pick-up. It is useful to do pick-up to improve your game. However, pick-up is not the only way to improve your game, it's just one of the multiple tools at your disposal. Guys just like it the most cuz it can directly get you laid. My point is, before entering a transaction, you have to figure out what you want. So, the transactional reality gives you a clear reflection of what you want, which is where you can use cold-approach (or the potential of it) to reverse this cycle of burnout. Once you know what you want from women, transactionally speaking, you work on your game when it comes to getting that specific thing. 'Sex' is a catch-all term for a wide variety of sexual acts. So, the biggest key to finding a sexual partner is to figure out sexual-compatibility. Figuring out what you want is to select women correctly and figuring out what those women want, is to work on your game. This is where you hone in on your social-circle and you really figure out how to vet for compatibility. This is where your dating-strategy becomes socially appropriate. (Pick-up is not traditionally seen as socially appropriate, because society objectifies women and to a lot of people, cold-approach resembles the act of approaching a hooker and paying them for sex. This is also where a lot of women completely filter out PUAs cuz of the potential of slut-shaming by their own peers.) Relationships have been forming since the beginning of time. But, it seems that men of previous generations didn't have to do this in addition to everything else you gotta do to make a relationship work. Why is that? Because there is a big shift in the consciousness relative to relationships, we want them to be more 'loving'. Even if we don't know what 'love' is, at least, we want them to be more pleasing. So, the expectations from everyone (men and women) are really rising, in a way that millennials and gen Z's were not prepared for or warned about. Hence the crisis.

That is a Pakistani account whose sole purpose is to trash-talk India and Indians. This is the literal job of a lot of Pakistani media. Indians see them as 'b@rk!ng d0gs at a moving car' for the most part. (It's an analogy, not using 'd0g' as a cuss-word here.) We don't pay much attention, until they talk about cricket. And, about the 'PUA picture game' - it's really normal simp behavior. It's Instagram, which is where all the simps hang out.

What's written in the picture doesn't read as a rape-threat. It reads as a comment that's more along the lines of 'Travis Head's wife is hot'. To spin this as a 'rape threat' is the work of Pakistani propagandists. This is Pakistani propaganda.

Today is the day I identify as non-binary!

The cancel-culture ball-game that they decided to play is one without proof. I'm playing by their rules, not mine, cuz they're the dominant side, I'm not. And, I'm figuring out ways to beat them at their own game. As I said, maybe you take on the label for different reasons, like 'I feel like a woman in a man's body'. But, first of all, you can't prove your feelings to us. Secondly, from society's perspective, it is a label! You are a statistic, from society's perspective. The level of importance of this statistic depends on the era you're living in. If I choose to lie about my feelings, you can't do jack shit about it. That's the reality. Do your worst. I tried being a good example. It didn't work. They don't use logic, they're just out for blood. They're not well-intentioned, good people. Definitely not well-intentioned towards men. Right now, I'm just looking for ways to cancel them, to turn the cancel-culture table onto them. That's the only thing that seems to work.

Mr. Lawyer, in order to make something a crime, you have to be able to prosecute it. And, in order to prosecute it, you have to be able to define 'proof' for it. Ultimately, it is a label. If you get to take on a label and become a part of a group, is it 'pretending' anymore?! I don't think so. You may have different motivations, but you can't persecute someone for that, right?! My profile-pic is a troll-face. What do you expect from me?! Lol.

DON'T MISGENDER ME!! ARRRR!!! HOW DARE YOU MISGENDER ME?!?!?! *points finger aggressively at you* This is not my personal agenda!! I am fucking non-binary!! Cancel @Buck Edwards for misgendering me. They are a homophobe.

It's kinda funny how everyone is parroting the exact same bullshit. My question is - who paid them? It's almost like an AI-software was told 'make invalidating social-media posts about men's loneliness' and then, this is the reality being presented to us on the internet. I am not looking for advice here. Especially, if your advice is 'spend less time on the internet', you can keep that to yourself. I know. The intent here is to discuss the root-causes of the belief-system of these bots, that is fuelling men's self-hate. Who hurt these people?!

Then they're the TERFs and they deserve to be cancelled. So, push for their cancellation! Also, how dare they misgender me?! My pronouns are they/them!!

I cannot express how happy and satisfied I'm feeling right now, because I've found a way to stay out of the firing-line of feminists. This is the best solution to feminism. Just identify as non-binary. Job done. This weapon works.

@Buck Edwards If you're against those evil men getting jobs, that's understandable, cuz they have 'toxic masculinity'. But, why are you against us poor little non-binaries getting jobs?! That's homophobic!! Even we need jobs!! This is peak brilliancy. Checkmate, feminists.

Ah, so 'hatred' is not an emotion, or an action. It's an 'opinion'. Got it.

This is homophobic. You are attacking a non-binary person. And, to address your point, I like Brett Cooper. There's your counter-example, I don't hate women.

@omfar001 Here's a cold hard reality. As a man, to get the respect from men in most cultures (including the West, by the way), your serious romantic partner must be a so-called 'good girl', who is fully platonic in public. Forget about cheating, forget about flirting with another guy, forget even about posting pictures. If she even wears anything sexy in public, other men will judge you. Some of them will try to steal her from you, cuz they think they can. The West/most urban areas of the world are more accepting towards women who are sexy in public, they don't judge women for not being married past a certain point anymore, it's friendlier towards women. But, the moment you decide to get into a serious relationship and start a family, all of the religious expectations come back. There are good and bad reasons for this perception. The good reason is that if your woman is sexual (not sexy, sexual) in public, this means that her sexual personality isn't being expressed in the relationship with you. So, this is a real chance for them to steal her from you. They may do it, she may cheat on you and you may lose her, because you weren't paying attention/your game wasn't good enough. The bad reason, of course, is that they are sexually repressed, they have religious conditioning that taboos sex and sexiness in people's personalities and all of this amounts to them seeing sexy women as a 'distraction'. They believe that sexiness in women is a net negative for society, because it's 'distracting for men', so they will judge you for not controlling her enough. And they will also tend to idolize and pedestalize the 'good girls'. These are the slut-shamers. I won't tell you what to do about this. I will tell you my boundaries with women and why I have them: If she thinks that another guy is hot - that's totally natural and normal. It shows me what she likes/doesn't like and if I can find a way to give that to her in the relationship, we're set. And, if this makes me insecure, this is fully my problem and if I go to therapy for this, it will be on my own/I won't take her with me. If she flirts with another guy - that's bad behavior. If it goes against my boundaries in some way, I will regulate that behavior in her and I will ask her why she's doing that, I will hold her accountable for it. I will help her resolve whatever it is so that it doesn't happen again. It's not a threat to the relationship, it's just problematic behavior and it should be regulated. And, if she gives me shit like 'you're so insecure, you can't take a joke here or there', that won't fly. Cuz I won't find it funny. If she expresses to me that she's more attracted to another guy than she is to me/she wants him more - this is a serious issue. This will seriously break my trust in her and it will make me question the foundation of our relationship/why we got into it to begin with. This is where we go to couples-therapy and we re-evaluate the relationship-status. It's still possible to salvage the relationship, but there are no guarantees. We would be back to the dating-stage, we'd probably be 'taking a break' from each other. My mind would still be open to getting back with her, because she was honest and she didn't cheat. If she cheats (in any way, shape or form, whether it was just a kiss or a full-blown side-relationship) - the relationship is done. This shows me that cheating/adultery/dishonesty is acceptable to her morality, therefore we don't morally align. This is a proof of incompatibility. (I'm gonna say 'incompatibility' cuz you may have some polyamorous fantasy in which these things are acceptable, and I don't want to shame you for that.) She needs to figure out her morality in relationships. I will wish the best for her, I will wish that she figures it out and finds someone suitable in the future. But, I will not want to trust her, it would not be rational to expect me to trust her or have any respect for her. Cuz it shows weakness of character on her part. Communication is key. And before that, you have to figure out where you stand on this issue. HTH.

Then move cities. You need a more liberal environment to do this. And, in less populated environments, you're not going to find men who will submit to you. Because the survival-conditions are harder, so the hierarchy-system between the sexes will not work out in your favor in these environments.

Then go on a dating app/fetlife. Online dating is for you. DM whoever you want, you're set.

Very easy. Figure out what role you have for a man in your life. Look for men who can play that role. Go to them and ask them for 'help'. For example, if you'd like a man who can lift you when he makes love to you, go to a buff dude and ask him to help you carry stuff. Thank him and give him a compliment as you do. If he picks up on the hint, you're set.

@Rafael Thundercat The biggest reason women are attracted to bad boys is because of movie-conditioning. A movie's hero has a six-pack, smokes cigarettes and 'protects her from bad guys' by physically taking them on. This is a cultural definition of 'masculinity' that everyone is being conditioned with. Another big key is that if she has self-worth issues/body-image issues (because of movie-conditioning of what a woman should look like) coupled with an emotionally unavailable daddy in childhood, she's going to have a strategy of using sex to get a man to be emotionally available. (Because it works in movies.) So, if a spiritual man acts loving and emotionally available towards her, she will wall him off and reject him because he's not acting narcissistic and selfish and looking to use her for his pleasure! Cuz that's the idea of what a 'man' is, that her father conditioned her with. This is the problem at hand. So, what's the solution? You have to recognize that all of these cultural ideas of 'masculinity' are patriarchal and that these are the ways in which the patriarchy benefits you. When you see that, you will see where this leads and what your future holds, if you keep going in this direction. You have to see the religious roots of these ideas of 'masculinity' and why religious authorities designed it like this, for collective human survival. (If you're a spiritual woman, you can see this bigger picture.) When you see this, your ideas of 'masculinity' will come into question and you will start to open your mind to alternative ideas of 'masculinity', which are based on New-Age spirituality and which hold authenticity as a core value. You ask yourself the question - In an ideal world, what role would men play in my life? And, what would his value-system be, why would he do what he does? Because you've learned about masculinity and you've seen real-life examples of them, you will know who aligns with your values and who doesn't. And, because you know the traumas you've gone through, you will know what you need from men. This way, you will be honest about what you want from men and your expectations will be realistic. Then, you ask yourself - how would a compatible relationship work with me? If you know the kind of man you want, then you can answer this question. And, if he has the right value-system, you should be able to convince him. And, once you can do that, your daddy-issues will start to get resolved, because your self-worth issues will start to get resolved. And once that happens, you can start to question your attraction to bad boys and you can psychologically wean yourself off of them. Potentially with your man's help. TLDR: She needs to develop a better understanding of men and masculinity. That's the solution for her.

India. First, please explain to me whether your idea of 'love' is a consensus or not. Then, once we've established that, when you explain this statement, I will probably understand what you're saying.

I'm getting an error message like this: "Video unavailable The uploader has not made this video available in your country"

How many laughs do you usually get when you say something like this about romantic love? If you get more laughs than not, most of them agree with you. The reason I'm asking this is that if this is the consensus on 'romantic love', that's incredibly scary. 'Romantic love' is different from absolute love. It's a human idea of love between two individuals who choose to be in a committed relationship.

Is this what most of the world thinks 'romantic love' is? Out of curiosity?