Keithemson

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About Keithemson

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    Bangkok
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    Male

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  1. @Leo Gura I know you are busy and it’s still not clear. I would really appreciate some more. Forget spiritually or morally right now. I listen to mantak chia and various masters talking about Yogic sex magic and how we would do well to keep our masculine essence and I would love to hear your perspective because I feel there is truth to it, but it’s hard to separate the Mumbo Jumbo. Some of these guys here made sense about the distinction between just being horny and addiction so that’s clear now so thanks guys. <3
  2. Hi everyone. Please point me out to anything Leo said or wrote about this. Also feel free to answer yourself. What even is porn addiction? Because it's an urge, and we also have needs for intimacy and connection. At what point does it become an addiction considering it dose not make you low energy depressed or hurt your life in any conscious way. Yes I do have the gut feeling its robbing me of my very best but I want to hear more and learn more.
  3. Hello Forum, please delete if this is not allowed Leo ;). I have recently read that there are real spiritual ceremonies in Ubud Bali and as I am there it will save me time to go to South America. I only want to work with the most reputable safe people who can help me gain an amazing experience and further heal and learn. Is there anyone here who has gone threw an experience like this in Bali? Thanks and cheers.
  4. I cannot bear to listen to this utter ****. We are not fucking wild beavers or wolves or lions, we are complex. So quit wanting to explain things through these cheap wannabe national geographic theories. The way you see yourself is the way you will be treated by others that's it. It's a matter of perspective, the lens through which you see reality. When you have a negative perspective about yourself your life will suck. I would work hard to change that perspective rather than watching this junk.
  5. Let's get in touch I can help you. I'm also a life coach who helps people with emotional issues but I won't charge you for the information. Im also sorry to say that the chances your psychiatrist will miss diagnose you as this illness can seem similar to some types of bi polar and ADHD. Also this complex PTSD reality new and not well studied. Doctors are ignorant of this. The good news is I have a lot of info and books that could change your life if this really is what you suffer of. Pm me and let's talk some more.
  6. @Leo Gura any suggestion on how to use MDMA for my PTSD? Is a guide a must considering my awareness level is quite high, have some pleasant experience with mushrooms and lean towards stage yellow thinking. Thanks, Simon.
  7. Sounds like complex PTSD that results in a freeze response. I've had this all my life, now under control. I'm happy to talk of you would like more info. Simon.
  8. Hey everyone, I recently discovered I have complex PTSD from childhood trauma, I want to add that I'm a life coach and my personal development level is quite high and since my discovery, I've gotten coaching by a therapist and learned how to control this in 4 weeks. (If anyone needs help with this reach out) Recently I've been experimenting with mushrooms Terrence McKenna style in the hopes of totally releasing this trauma. I've been building up from quite low doses up to 2 grams (I was told my stuff is potent and I estimate it's equivalent to maybe 3 grams of normal potency) and have gone on a mild rip talking to different aspects of myself and accepting them into the fold, facing my death, etc... ? And, so far I have been a bit disappointed with the results as the insights I got have been great but not ego-shattering, not much fear realizing and so far no change with the PTSD. I was hoping for the triggered flashbacks to stop. Not to sound ungrateful to the mushrooms all I got was clarity and emotional understandings lol which is amazing but at my level not that surprising or life-altering since I've already done a lot of work. I know It's just the beginning and my plan is to gradually increase the dose. My question is, has anyone successfully treated themselves in this or a similar method? My next stop is 3.5 grams in nature. Happy to update with a trip report if anyone's interested. Thanks, Simon.
  9. Obviously. But they have such a huge fake high moral mask. It's pathetic. They where advertising for a job and then it was, oh, by the way it's gonna cost you 5k to join us
  10. I was having this phone interview with a certin "coaching slef development" compuny that I will not name. The product is 5000$ and is comission based only. So I was talking to them and they where telling me all about the guy who made it (I belive he is successful ) and how it will change my life and but at the end of the conversation I understood I must first buy it myself, a big red light went off and then all the promises they told me begun to sound like BS. And I told them just that in a calm way. then the conversation quickly ended. As a sales persons myself it resembled the moment you lost your sale so you bail out. Like yeah they want me to be a part and know the product so it makes sense i would have to go threw it myself. But if they are so confident then why do I have to pay? For a job
  11. Do I not want to pay? Am I sure?. I allredy am working every day, on my feet. Deliberately avoiding any comfort zone, Thinking, learning studyuling about welth making. And yet I sometimes get to work and just don't want to do it. I just shower coached myself. I came to the conclusion that I am not leaving! That the reason I am unsuccessful is because my thinking is wrong! I spend way to much time complaining and cannot focus. not enough thinking of what acually I do want in life. I should get myself into the habit of feeling gratitude constantly or this problem will just follow me where ever I go.
  12. Can I become financialy successful without a huge burning desire to be? I have a comission based salary selling skincare that I am not passonate about. I wish to help pepole reach there potential! That's my passion I feel like the values of my business are way beneath me and that is why I sometimes find it hard to be motivated. I mean, maybe I have a fucking huge desire to be rich and successful but am put off by this life. I wish someone who went through a similar situation confirm to me that i could do so much more selling something i belive in. inside that I am good and that I do want material things. But I get so depressed sometimes by this job. I tend to blame myself. But is it really me? Is it time for a change?
  13. About 4 months left for my service in the Navy, you tend to get this question often "what will you do next?" "what will you study?" well i did something quite unusual. instead of going to wait tables and save money so i can travel or start my higher education i decided to go live abroad and sell Dead sea skin care. my Training started then because i wanted to leave that place the moment i could i wanted to leave the day i was discharged! the business is this, you find young energetic good looking people, briefly train them while promising them they will make thousands of dollars a week, and in fact some of them do! did you ever go to the mall was stopped buy some Israeli guy selling something? some of them make in one month what others make annually! so long story short, i wanted to leave ASAP, arrived at Sydney four months late. it was amazing for me. i was free! in the mall talking English all day, being confident and funny. i could stop people by offering them free samples and then manipulate them into buying an eye cream or serum or what eve. I was never amazing but i was good for the start. on your feet, eight hours a day or more, trying to cold sell strangers. Extreme emotional labor, all day, six long days a week. Rejection after rejection, no no no after no. not many stay. even less continue to do this for years. But what i loved and kept me was the psychology, the understanding and manipulation that just fascinated me. in many senses its similar to pick up, that might help relate. Many days where horrible! i would get sad or depressed and unmotivated, but this was a commission only based salary so i had to just do it or not eat. i would make 3 thousand AUD a month but others where making that weekly! or much more. Some sales companies are dishonest and aggressive, in fact most are, but you can be honest and you dont have to be aggressive, and that was my style. i was nice. and every other amazing sales person in this industry that i have met was a total piece of human shit with sever emotional disorders and obsessions of sorts. in this company i met my business partner. he was an introvert social outcast like me, and we became good friends.(not that there was something wrong with us, he was french and i was British Israeli surrounded by immature Israeli 21 year olds. we just preferd to keep to ourselves) taking our days off together getting thai massages. he is french, left home at 17 to live in Thailand and way more advance then me in personal development, but at that time we both dident know that, and he offerd me to open our Owen shops and i agreed because it seemed interesting and i had nothing better to do. so we continued to work and i saved some money, went traveling in Thailand for a month after the Christmas of 2012. we where both 22 when we decided to start our new lives in the kingdom of thailand
  14. After my service in the israeli navy i was stuck. Every morning I woke into a blue juvenile room. some family member would allways be shouting or arguing. Or maybe the afternoon sun shining in through the windows form all directions. I would crawl out of bed and waste another day. "I need to get a job" i decided one day, I got up showerd dressed and walked 500 meters to the neighborhood shopping center. There where afew resteruntes, and shops. I happend to walk into one shop that was new to me, it is not clear till this day what exactly do they sell, some kind of Internet sports supplys plus kitchen gagets. "hey, you need a worker? " i said. The two men looked at me, one was fat and bald ,he said no. The other asked about my English skills. They where exellante! I replied not understanding the meaning of exellance at all. I got the job though it was at that guys house, selling art online. this would be my first real job. Prior I only worked part time teaching kids to play dungeness and dragons and ofcorse, 3 years in the navy, which did nothing to teach me the skills nor the habits a good life demands. So here I am, twentie one years old, no body ever showed me the right exsample, nobody thought me a thing. Once in awhile I was given a simple correction but it was not accepted. I blame my pearents For not being leaders. For being ignorant underachievers, I still love them. I vow here and now that I will not be like them. I will give my offspring what they need ,not what they think they want. Next on my departure to Australia and the opening of my business. Hope you enjoy reading. Since yesterday I will try to write something new everyday in order to improve my skills in writing. So costructive critecisem and even spell check in is welcome.
  15. Yeah I understood that last night when I saw your journal. I'll fix it tonight.