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About randomguy123

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  1. So funny I come across this, been binge watching this lately. His videos in venezuela are great!
  2. @Hardkill I'm currently reading his newest book 'Another now', in which he in depth describes a fantasy reality where things were equal and the economy was fair. It's a great read, although i didn't really care for the made up story surrounding the big debate (which is about a quarter of the book). It so fascinating to see him just dispel all your illusions about how the economy works and how it's being ran. He also states ways in which we could claim back the economy and actual steps we would have to undertake in order to do so. The whole thing does leave you with a sense of hopelessness, as what has to be done to even approach a fair system is still way more coordinated and difficult, then i feel like would be possible in the world of today. It makes you feel like such a moron, because things are hyper complex and the amazons and googles of the world are actively conspiring to churn as much money and power out of the system. Meanwhile we sit here with our friends, trying to convince them to vote socialist, which in all honesty for all you know might make shit worse.
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrZJONSxIBM
  4. I heard sadhguru once mention that there is definitely an impact of this stuff on you, Wifi, Cellular, etc, although he did not go in to detail. As far as academic science is concerned, the only thing they care about right now is the amount of power transferred. This makes phone calls the main issue, as you hold the phone close to your head, much more power gets generated compared to any other action, which causes the skin to heat up in significant ways and might have an effect on the cells. There have been some negative results reported for that. So this is not applicable to wifi, 4G, 5G and bluetooth and all the rest as they generate so little power. It's pretty crude, but that's the level that we're scientifically thinking at. This is very unlikely to change, because of the way we fundamentally think about electromagnetic radiation. They're not concerned about high frequency signals, because even the highest used frequencies in electronics are much lower than say the frequencies of visible light. So if we go all out with 5G, telecom systems anything you want, we would still be producing things that are considered less harmful to the scientific community than everyday "visible light". Nobody cares where this radiation comes from, because it is all just electromagnetic radiation and the stars that produce the only visible light that is natural, are just considered to produce it with a certain distribution, nothing special about that. Nobody will ask any further questions, as this model is so fundamentally embedded in science today, that to improve it or add to it would require the largest of paradigm shifts. Like making string theory work, but for electronics. Besides, all the electric lighting that you have in your house, produces more power and much higher frequency radiation than wifi or 4G or 5G, so if you're worried about wifi, or 5G, electric lighthing should scare you to death.
  5. Violence is just what people turn to, when they can't feel anything anymore. If you feel bad enough, you will start cutting yourself, just to feel something. Having been there in some way, I can tell you that it's the only thing that registers. Even something like sports becomes a chore to watch, you would much rather have loud music, crude tv shows, porn and violence. It's just what gets you off, instead of scrolling through facebook or watching netflix, you would much rather do something even more degenerate, cuz it just feels better, it's more satisfying. It goes without saying that as long as we have a society in which people end up in these situations, this sort of thing will keep existing. What is valuable is relative to where you are, if you feel like you've been a pushover your entire life, yh maybe some kickboxing classes will do you good. If you've been a by the book person your entire life, then yh some competitive esport may be for you (although I think there are more sensible options here).
  6. Havent personally watched the Campbell documentaries, they are very expensive, but I feel like the Campbell books on the book list give you a great idea of what he is about, so mb consider that. The sushi documentary you can find if you dig around a bit on the internet. I recall streaming mine from a Dutch platform. Just what I see is that you take this stuff way to seriously and uptight. If you're any bit like me, you are probably going about this pretty perfectionistically and it really doesn't serve anyone. The life purpose course is not some mental gymnastics exercise that you execute perfectly to get the exact right thing for you, it's really just opening your mind to what is possible and finding a connection to something, anything YOU feel like doing. There's no competition, there's no right or wrong, there's no pressure, ultimately you can't force the answer, it will come to you, just be open for it to happen and take the time and space you need, life's not running away Best of luck man
  7. @Gesundheit Thanks I'll keep it in mind. Yh, letting go is hard though. Sometimes I do really well, other times I'm just driving the knife deeper. I go up, I go down. I don't know what I did. Letting go of every lie seems just too hard. Then I somehow find another crack in the whole thing. Then it all morphs again and all the scaffolding is now the problem and is holding me back. I'm going in circles, going nowhere. I'm not sure, I'm always solidly here, never had any personality issues. This thing however is an outgrowth of my upbringing, perspective of life, etc., I'm not sure how much needs to be let go of, before I can function again in this society. That would be a nice start. @Nahm Thanks for the comment. You really made me feel better. I'm trying to let go of all the thought stories, I've noticed the impact when I do, it's amazing. Yet the burden is big, the road very long. I'll work with the breathing technique, thanks again. I hope to one day be as helpful as you've been to me.
  8. Yes, I'm here voluntarily as I feel like it's a 'safe' environment to work on this stuff. It's just a feeling, but things get pretty rough. My physical body is buckling under all of this pressure. I have regular cramping all over my body, from the heart area to my feet and head, upper arms, shoulders, etc. My entire skull is tense and my ear drums are under a constant pressure (like I'm constantly under water), I've developed vitiligo and some dental problems, vision problems, all of which I believe to be related. Sometimes these issues get very bad, and I can feel that I'm letting go of the pressure in the most unconscious way, which feels very gross and degenerative. I'm here for diagnostics, but I don't expect much out of it. (Although I've learned that it's also an easy defense mechanism to claim that these people can't help me in any way, and to consider myself above all of this) Yh, there's a lot of that going on for sure, but it feels like I'm not properly dealing with it, which makes everything I do feel very wrong. I feel like I'm making choices going through this thing, yet I only have gross ways at my disposal to deal with it. Stuff like progressive relaxation, exercise and clean eating, feel like they're not refined enough to have an impact. And even the most focused relaxation and letting go of thoughts, barely touches the problems and is only incrementally changing the situation and this often in a very uncomfortable way.
  9. Thanks for the kind replies guys. Sorry I'm late with the reponses, been trying to put things together. @electroBeam Thanks for the flattery, but I'm not sure it's quite appropriate. I don't feel like I've been humble in my life up to this point. All of this seems more like an ego trip to me, as I feel that years of dysfunction and problems are unlikely to result in things worth cherishing. The reason I mentioned the tall and skinny thing, is just that it corresponds with certain models of personality and interests and that those models tends to line up with the problems that I'm facing (just in case somebody is familiar with that stuff). During my life the bar was always set super high, as my dad always told me I was going to do great things. I internalized this, but since I was unable and also unsure what these expectations were and how to live up to them, I developed a lot of stage blue infrastructure to deal with reality as well as to keep this dream alive in my internal world. As this notion got vaguer and vaguer, and the way I structured my life became less and less sustainable I developed all sorts of destructive habits, which has left me in the spot I am today. Battling with something that seems so disconnected from actual practical life, yet feels very important and at the core of who I am. As we speak I find myself losing this battle a bit more day by day, which I equate with dealing with my problem unconsciously and resolve some of its karma in a gross and very physical way. It feels like my actions have consequences, yet what is required to go through this problem consciously seems so outrageously difficult and the alternative feels so gross and unconscious and life destroying, I'm unsure what to do and stuck dealing with this dysfunction @Gesundheit Thanks for the reply. I'm still not sure, what it all means and where I am at. I'm also currently not working with any meditation or yoga schemes, because I find that just laying on my back gives me the greatest ability to let go and deal with whatever is going on. So I'm not sure how technical I can get with this. Maybe it is worth mentioning though that it's not my third eye where I feel the most stuff, although there is some fuzziness in that area as well. Its actually the crown of my head. I feel like I'm having to open myself up to whatever is going on there, but all that I'm able to do is open up to it partially. After which I often accidently crack my spine, which releases the energy in a gross and unconscious way and constricts the problem even further.
  10. Hey guys, [I'm sorry I haven't been contributing a lot lately, but I'm working on my problems and I hope to be more active in the future. This post as a lot of others is on my weird issue, however I intend to keep it short this time around. I'm not sure you can classify this as an emotional problem, but I thought it was still best to post it here. I also am aware that Leo wants forum users to cut down on this type of content, so if you feel similar, plz tell me and I will take my issues elsewhere.] I'm currently in a psychiatric hospital, although there is nothing really wrong with me. My only issue is that I have a huge -what feels like a- slit at the top of my skull, which radiates a white light all throughout my body. It's so powerful that it blurs out all the experiences I get, the world feels very monochrome to me. I feel like I have the emotional range of a pencil. I can still feel my body, and my emotions, I'm normal guy everything else considered, but they feel almost like distractions to me. It feels like they are underneath this problem, which is so front and center in my experience and it almost makes no sense to deal with them before I deal with this issue. On a normal day, I feel pretty fuzzy in the head, with lots of brainfog and a general vagueness. I have a huge amount of bodily tension pent up inside of me, and sometimes this reaches a climax, where I feel like I'm getting a heart attack. The latter corresponds with my ability to let go of thoughts and notions about the problem. Sometimes I get stuck in wanting to solve it, etc. and I go through a very bad episode. Lastly, there is no emotional component that I can distinguish, only a few superficial feelings, which barely compare to the huge beam of white which goes through my head and then through my body. The backstory is that I'm a standard kid, pretty tall and skinny, and have naturally been a thinker. I've never been that connected with everything, as I just thought about everything, rather than feeling it. One could say that I've effectively though myself out of the world. In the last years I've developed some pretty bad stress related issues, I've cramped my body to a pulp, to try and deal with whatever is going on and that's why I was admitted to the hospital to begin with. I don't feel generally that bad, but I do feel like I'm going through the motions in my life, like I'm very disconnected from everything. When I meditate I'm able to clear some of the debris of my body, which just purifies the white light even further. However I can't really make that much progress on the issue as a whole, because everything in me is so unpure that it is hard to really find traction with the problem. Lastly, I have never done drugs, just THC-oil. Which didn't give me much insight in to my problem, just that it has occurred at a really low level of consciousness, like subhuman, and it also felt like it was much larger than the world we're living in, like way beyond everyday experience. K, that's it. Sorry if it's too long, really tried to write as short as possible. Lmk if you know anything about this kind of stuff, have seen similar stuff, etc.
  11. Nah, almost no people are in higher tiers, so for most people it's perfectly fine. That being said spiral dynamics does have 2 tiers.
  12. Both are important and you should try to integrate them. Without question, there are areas to which you are naturally drawn, which you love more than others, and recognizing those things will boost you motivation and helps you to be more authentic. On the other hand, anything can grow on you, you can develop tastes for everything in life. So please don't life from either one of those perspectives, but balance both.
  13. Figure out why you want to do those things. I do a lot of the same shit, on the one hand very outgoing guy always in the mood, on the other hand, I avoid a lot of contact and live life underground. I only do the latter because I want to guilt other people in to caring about me. You even mention that you want people to think of you in a certain way, upholding these kind of concepts about yourself as this or that person identified or linked with this or that thing won't serve you. Figure out what you really want and go for that, there's probably a clear explanation and direction for you lying here underneath this seeming paradox.
  14. Well, that is sure the case if the other person cares about that stuff, but that tells you more about them than about you. Really, what's going on is you want to appeal to these kind of people in that way. Because you care about their opinion in that way. That doesn't make it the end all be all, you can get over this and you have the freedom to choose how. By going down the path you layed out here or dropping it all together, which is likely very difficult for you. There's no wrong choice, just be aware of what you are doing. Or they got over it, which very few people admittedly have.
  15. idk if mentioned above, but also depends on the country and culture. If you're living in country with emergent orange, like say East-Europe, I'm sure it matters quite a bit. Take your muscles to Scandinavia and nobody will care.