Toby

You already had a glimpse. Otherwise: why would you busy with the path?

I recommend reading "Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us" by Robert Hare. One - imo - cannot help but notice that Pickup-"Gurus" and Pickup-values are quite similar to a world-view found with psychopaths described in that book. Of course many just subject themselves to that world view without being psychopaths themselves. If it is a cult is really secondary imo.

There is no consensus or anything how words like "Dark Night of the Soul" or "Ego Death" are defined. If in Daniel's map it is the same then it probably makes sense. If in another framework it isn't, it probably also makes sense.

Problem still exists like 30 minutes ago on Debian based Linux with Firefox.

Maybe Manuka Honey could help?

So, I read a bit and I only found the disctinction of Kundalini awakening vs Kundalini arousal in Jan Essman's books. For a lot of others almost everything is a kundalini awakening. I thought what was happening with me was more an Kundalini arousal after reading Jan; now I'm reading other authors and it sounds (how they see it) like classic Kundalini awakening. Happened about 11 years ago and I want to figure out what exactly it is/was. Could someone recommend some books, videos... which deal exactly with the distinction of K awakening vs K arousal? Thanks.

Jan talks about arousal here:

Unfortunately yes. Was about a good 6-7 years until when I met / explored Adya the energy kinda more and more relaxed. The thing is, I never intended to "awaken" it. Yes, I (and with bodyworkers, healers) did a lot of breathwork, bodywork (EFT, Osteopathy, Kinesiology, Reiki, Jin Shin Jutsu) and Chakra stuff of all kinds (Visualization, gems, breathing, music...) and experimented with brainwaves about 2-3 years before. But.... when I was hearing Jan talk about it, it still sounded more like "arousal". Edit: I vaguely remember a youtube video where he says something like that most of the time people talk about "Kundalini awakening" it is actually arousal and he got a bit more detailed about it. Afair.

110 ug should be very safe to do alone for probably 95% of people.

"the fanatic" is the social 6. Sometimes seems like a 1. All 6 subtypes can be counterphobic or phobic.

He also studied with Oscar Ichazo (inventor of modern Enneagram) afaik.

MBTI: INTJ Enneagram: antisocial sx/sp 5 Ayurveda: Vata with a bit of Kapha

It's a matter of interest and not of shoulds. Who cares what others do or think they should do.

How do you know? There is a german dude that wrote something like "spiritual awakening because of alcohol". Too bad the book is not in english: https://www.amazon.de/dp/3732245470/

yeah, but I did not hear any "expert" speak about the distinction except Jan (which lives about 4 hours drive away btw...)

"Top looking" is very subjective. For someone a woman is a "10" (at least on first impression), for someone else more like a "5". A good example: for aurum these are all 10s, for someone else their vibe might seem very mediocre at best even though physically they are how a woman should look in our society.

Oh, I didn't write that for me it is very valuable to sit with teachers. #1 tool to see through one's own bs, especially spiritual bs. Things that are very hard to see for oneself. I guess most "I am enlightened" stories/advice of this forum wouldn't survive in the presence of a real and genuine teacher.

So, time and time again while reading here I wonder if people here actually have been with a spiritual teacher. If yes: was it valuable? Or not? If no: why not?

Are there any groups / teachers around where you live that could deepen your practice?

@aurum so that's what you orient your life around? I'm a bit shocked tbh.

Having "kundalini symptoms" is not the same as "kundalini awakening".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neotantra

he goes to an internet forum and brags about it. it's a long tradition.

So you feel a little bit sad and depressed for 5 days and think this is a dark night of the soul?