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Everything posted by Asayake

  1. You're going in hard on training, love to see it. Keep going man, very impressive results overall.
  2. Might want to look into your MBTI type if that's something that interests you. I believe MBTI is a very useful model to understand why we have the strengths and weaknesses we as well as others have. Learning about the different cognitive functions and figuring out which ones you have could be very insightful for you moving forward. Also it would increase your understanding of what makes other types tick/what's important to other types. Then you would be able to start communicating more tailored to who you're talking to, and understand others better which would also likely make you more confident when talking to others as everything isn't quite as mysterious/cryptic anymore.
  3. Will be interesting to follow!
  4. Yes, mushrooms are very beautiful visually! Mind-blowing stuff.
  5. Looks like he removed it, I guess he realized it was a bit off putting. It was just him posing with a gun in one of his hands and dilated pupils, obviously high on some psychedelic.
  6. I don't like the posing with a gun while high picture but the other pictures are no problem for me. I just don't like the idea of guns + psychedelics.. even if the gun is not loaded it sends off a weird message.
  7. My parents were like this when I was a kid. When a friend was over to play at our house and dinner time came they would be told by my mom that they can stay in my room and play while I ate with the family. I think there it's multifaceted and not necessarily about generosity. For example my mother showed generosity in other ways like offering fika(cinnamon buns, ice cream, other treats) and giving my friends sweets or ice cream cake on their birthdays if they were over on a visit. But something about food in particular, lunch and especially dinner seems to be sacred and reserved for family only. A few possible explanations could be: - That the parents wants to talk about family matters during dinner and value their privacy. Scandinavian countries value privacy highly, for example people don't talk to strangers much at all, generally. Keeping the dinner time exclusive for the family could be another way to keep some privacy. - That the parents doesn't want the kids to play during dinner, "don't play with your food" is something Swedish kids get told as kids and kids have a tendency to play with each other when in each others presence. - That the parents doesn't want to impact their kids friends on what to eat or what is considered normal. This is another way to keep things private, what others eat could be considered a private matter and they want "to each their own" as far as what one should eat. They don't want other families opinionating and judging what their family eats, and to not impose judgement on what others eats as well. - A way to make it so less wealthy families don't feel like they're obligated to offer food when their kids friends are on a visit if they have a hard time affording it. If nobody offers lunch/dinner like that it doesn't become a norm and there's no expectations you'll have to provide food for others. That's just some possibilities, I don't think it has to do with generosity for most, it's more about privacy.
  8. Hey, very sorry to hear you had this bad of a reaction and experience. I think if you ever try psychedelics in the future again maybe it would be best to do with some kind of guide or therapist who is experienced with psychedelics and knows how to help you when you're in a bad place. It sounds like psychedelics can be more challenging for you compared to most people. It could be that you're very sensitive to them and 130ug had a stronger reaction for you than for most. I would go with a much lower dose if you do them again in the future. I have full understanding of how this could scare you off psychedelics and the pursuit of truth for a while, it sounds like an awful experience. It seems sound that you stay off psychedelics and work on yourself in other ways instead for the time being. As you said, loving yourself and others. There's a lot of things that can make life deep and worthwhile without psychedelics. Maybe all of this can still be helpful for you in some ways when some time has passed. You seem to have gone through something really scary and that can be a valuable life experience even if it doesn't feel like it at first. You might want to look into trip integration and recontextualization to see if you can find a way to integrate your experience in a way that makes you stronger, by making this whole thing something that you learn and grow from as a person, turning the experience you had into a net gain over time. You never know, sometimes bad trips can help you the most afterwards. It can create a sense of urgency to not take life for granted and to work towards a better future for yourself. Now that you're safe and done with psychedelics you can start working on life in other ways. The coming week I advice you to take it easy on yourself, eat some vegetables, meat, fish, eggs, strawberries etc to help your body get the nutrients it needs. Drink enough water. Rest, maybe watch some TV show you like. The week after a trip you can feel more tired than usual because the intensity of the experience takes a toll on you, I think it's important to give yourself some time to rest for a bit. All the love Blackhawk, I'm looking forward to hearing more from you in the future. Take care of yourself and your loved ones.
  9. Maybe this was the recognition of your deeper self, which is infinite love, acceptance of yourself and whatever happens. At the deepest layer of who you are is the love for yourself and what is, in other words consciousness itself, which is already loving, accepting of everything that is and thereby also everything that has happened or will happen, including the traumatic event in the past or any hardship you will face in the future. This is always the case but under the influence of weed and other psychedelics like LSD it can be easier to become conscious that it is this way. On LSD for example the ego death can be quite traumatic in a sense, the body thinks it's dying, the heart is beating fast, it's uncomfortable, and in the midst of the body and minds resistance to what's happening the deeper self 'reveals' itself. You realize you're there for yourself no matter what and that you love yourself completely and that this has always been the case and that you just didn't see it was this way before. But now you see it and it fills your heart with love, love is the only word that does it justice. And even when it feels like things are going to crap or you're in a dangerous close call situation like your traumatic event when you were young, you're there for yourself in the most caring way that you can be. Maybe by recalling this traumatic event this was realized by you, but not yet on the intellectual level. But you could FEEL the true nature of your being.
  10. Sometimes it can be more about what you feel and think rather than about what you see, atleast it's like that for me. Effects will become noticeable usually after 60-90 minutes after intake. Enjoy your trip Edit: I would like to add, don't take more, wait to feel some effects first. It's highly unlikely you'll feel nothing if you didn't get scammed with fake stuff, which is also unlikely.
  11. Pink Floyd - The Dark Side Of The Moon This album can act like a tripping guide for me personally, brings you through a big palette of experience, pushes you and comforts you at the same time. Freaking awesome... Other than that I would say that let your feeling guide you to music choice. Music in headphones and speakers can both be amazing. I like to listen in headphones and lie on my bed, it can be a very intimate and pure moment with myself. You can just follow your feeling for what you feel like listening to, LSD has a tendency to "help" you select the best song for the moment a lot of the time. LSD can show you the love for yourself that you really are, the pure self acceptance. It can show you a lot of insightful things and help you see things from new perspectives. Good luck and all the love . Edit: I would let it melt and sit in my mouth for 5-10 minutes before swallowing personally but swallowing it should work too.
  12. I know what you mean. I have been interested in manifestation since a couple of months back and one thing I always wondered is why such a thing as a deep loving relationship is so seemingly difficult to manifest, while some other things I don't really want as much but were highly unlikely to happen seemed to manifest in my life with little effort. Now I think the reason why it's so difficult is because that's how it has to be for it to be so special for you. Perhaps the reason you want it so badly and keep envisioning it for yourself is because it is something you value deeply and want in your life badly, you take it seriously, it's at the core of what's important to you in life. But I think the "catch" to valuing something deeply is that it becomes difficult to attain. Because that's a part of what makes it so special. Because if it was very easy for you to obtain what you wanted you would not be able to realize the depth and profoundness of it as easily. Maybe you would be more of the player type who views relationships more shallowly and is not interested in relationships at all, but have tons of unwanted girls after you that would just be an annoyance to you. Because you don't have it you're forced to contemplate it, envision it, imagine what it could be like. That builds a deep relationship in yourself with the thing you're trying to obtain. You're making it more meaningful because you want it badly. Something such as merely having food on the table is really a miracle. But because it's not so difficult to obtain for most of us we don't think of it as something special. Meanwhile, a starving person might spend their day envisioning food, thinking about the textures, the tastes, the feeling, the blessing of life that having food is. Food is not just a McDonalds Happy Meal 'down the hatch' for them but it becomes something very important and meaningful. And so when they finally get to eat they will be able to appreciate it more than most people, who just see food as something you chew and swallow because you have to. Now the upside of this is because you value this vision for yourself where you have an intimate relationship deeply. It will be very special for you once it happens because you have made it difficult for yourself to get there and thereby you're increasing your stakes so to speak. I believe when you finally find what you're really looking for the love will be very deep, because that's what you're looking for. It is difficult to achieve because it's difficult to achieve and that's why you want it so badly. It's not the relatively easy to achieve shallow one night stand, or sex with a prostitute. That's ultimately unsatisfying because it's easy and most people can achieve it with little effort. It's hard and that what's makes it passionate and deep. You seem to me to be a romantic, and it's a beautiful thing. Don't lose that even if it's tough, it bears the sweetest of fruits.
  13. One thing I did a couple of years back when I treated an ear infection with antibiotics was to take probiotics during and a couple of weeks after the treatment. Didn't notice any side effects from the antibiotics whatsoever. Othet than that, prebiotic foods like vegetables and other fiber rich foods and whole foods in general is good to support gut health.
  14. I think music is one of the infinite forms of love. It reveals the beauty of anything it comes into contact with. If I'm sad and put on music it can help me to realize the beauty of the sadness I'm feeling and thereby altering my state of consciousness. So I would say yes, music can transform a state of meaningless sadness into a state of meaningful sadness for example, thereby altering state of consciousness.
  15. Thanks for sharing. I love Eckhart, he is simply the best! Just listening to him makes me very calm. I think this balance of being and doing, the vertical and the horizontal is one of the most important things he talks about.
  16. I haven't tried this combo. But from my experiences with weed + nitrous I can confirm the straight up fact that nitrous can potentiate psychedelic states beyond belief!!! Absolutely insane/incredible/mind-blowing but can be very scary too. I'm personally too scared to do nitrous on LSD lol, but will try it at some point.
  17. I'm thankful to Leo for helping me take life more seriously, and not setting my standards too low. And for exposing me to ideas I hadn't heard of before that helped me open my mind to new possibilities. Some videos like his life advice for young people series had a big positive impact on me. And I'm also thankful that he covers topics that are not always comfortable to think about, he has the balls to challenge others into stepping into uncomfortable territory and face the unknown, which is where a lot of growth can occur. Leo is definitely one of the most valuable teachers of spirituality I have come across on the path and one of the puzzle pieces of my own personal development. His insights on the nature of psychedelics and how to approach them is very valuable and helped me get more value and meaning out of my psychedelic experiences and approaching them more seriously, with more respect. I think when it comes to psychedelics, Leo is the guy. He really knows his stuff when it comes to psychedelics.
  18. Sounds like you reached a sound conclusion. Look, I have a lot of positive anecdotal things to say about weed. I could write 10 pages here going in depth about how it can help with creative pursuits, spiritual pursuits. How it can offer a sort of self therapy if you know how to work with it where you can face darker parts of yourself and let go of a lot of fear and increase self acceptance. I could write many things in depth on this, it has helped many people, many very successful great musicians and artists were fond of weed and knew what it's really about. But you can't really know that without going deep into it, just like one LSD trip isn't enough to really understand LSD. And going that deep with it will very likely compromise your productivity significantly temporarily. And you might have to rebuild healthy habits that fell apart if it gets to that point, which isn't unlikely unless you have the discipline of a Shaolin monk. But I don't want to go too in depth about the positives I have experienced and my thoughts on why weed is an overlooked psychedelic.I feel like it would risk impacting others to go use a bunch of weed because they see others speaking fondly of it. With that being said weed is not necessarily a lighter psychedelic than e.g. LSD. It just seems that way if you use it once. But to really understand weed imo you need to do it regularly. And then it will take you both to very euphoric meaningful places and more dark, challenging places. Just like a harder psychedelic can do but just not quite as intense but stretched over a longer period of time instead, so it can still be challenging. I think many people quit once weed starts turning into a problem for them not really realising the weed is literally showing them problems/darkness that was already there before weed and were just surpressed before the weed use. That can look like a new problem caused by the weed at a first glance, but similar to other psychedelics it's moreso an amplification of something already within you. The fact that it can be challenging to quit can be seen as an obstacle which forces you to grow as a person. But it's not really my intent to influence others to do a bunch of weed. I already had a passion for life and had been working on my passion since I was young when I got into weed. So a temporary setback in productivity was not detrimental for me or my career where as it could be for others that don't already have a functional life set up. I would say, find your passion, work on it diligently, try to find a way to make a living of it first. Then revisit weed if you feel inclined to do so in the future. I believe following your deeper self is the right thing to do. If you feel weed is something you want to explore at some point I would encourage that, despite what others are saying. But chose the timing wisely, get your life in order first or weed might actually be very unhealthy.
  19. Such as.. caring about my health enough to avoid smoking?
  20. I used a vaporizer 95% of the time. I seldom smoked nor ate it.
  21. Yes, Leo seems to have a tendency to say X is bad because of a study he once looked at if he thinks something isn't good. And then he will not share a link to the study but make you go dig it up for yourself. At the same time he turns a blind eye to studies that critique the things he thinks are good, or atleast seems to devalue them to his own experience. For example, he does seem to think drinking juice is healthy(or have atleast said so in the past). Meanwhile there are studies out there that show a link between drinking fruit juices and diabetes type 2. Correct me if I'm wrong Leo, but according to your logic it seems that fruit juice causes diabetes type 2, just like weed lowers IQ. Where's that study I'm referring to you wonder? Go dig you it up for yourself, it's out there on google somewhere! How can you be so sure based of one study you don't even link to but make us go dig up for ourselves. How do we even know the study we find is the one you're referring to? I don't think fruit juice causes diabetes type 2 just because there's a study out there somewhere that says so. If it was for sure that weed lowered IQ then I guess me being on this forum in the first place might be because of a significant drop in my IQ. Even if it would be true that weed would cause a drop in IQ in adults(and not just a temporary one while being high), just saying weed lowers iq is an inadequate critique of weed that misses the big picture entirely. Weed can be extremely helpful for some people in many ways and the way you are critiquing it I feel, is similar to how Peter Ralston calls 5-MeO "Toad Juice". But who knows, maybe he's onto something here and he's discovered a pattern. Toad juice & fruit juice ..
  22. French is an amazing language to me. I think the way it flows is naturally poetic and musical. I think the fact that there are so(in my opinion) many amazing French artists, musicians, composers, directors, etc. might be correlated to the way their language is spoken. It's not only a practical language, it's an art in itself.
  23. Sad to hear that happened to you. Leo seems to be in favor of reducing free speech of people's opinions which he doesn't agree with on here sometimes and he is clearly leftist biased himself, he seems to love to hate on JP every chance he gets for example. It's a bit sad but it is what it is. I wish this site could be a bit more meta on these topics and not take everything so personally. Then maybe the discussions could be a bit more interesting and not so much "Trump is an idiot!!!". Anyways, glad you're back.
  24. It helped me a lot but it's not for everyone and if you get stuck in it and do it as an escape from doing other things you ought to be doing it can become unhealthy. Peak healthy weed use for me was when I trained, then came home smoke weed and meditated, listened to music, relaxed and just enjoyed the moment. Then the next day I went at it again, training/work on my passion, smoke weed, relax, contemplate, music, work on my passion, sleep. Peak unhealthy weed use for me was wake up - weed > eat > shop > weed > music > weed > masturbate > weed > sleep > repeat. That's like my dream vacation but all play no work makes Jack a dull boy. It has led me to very valuable insights about myself and helped me to be more compassionate towards myself and others. Sometimes I would feel like an asshole without weed because I was so caring with it. But it's hard to deny it didn't impact my productivity in the long run. But I would not say it made me dumb, personally. Because for the most part I did use it healthily. Maybe I became a bit dumb temporarily when I started using it unhealthily, not because of the weed itself but because of the fact that I was not doing things that stimulate growth in myself anymore, then you start to become dumber.