Consept

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Posts posted by Consept

  1. Posted

    3 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

    I also have those. @Consept  You were saying that you used to / still have sime issues with your orientation, how did you start to understand these better?

    A question for everyone: Is sexual orientation genetic or learnt? 

    Nah im heterosexual so its not necessarily issues with my sexuality in that im actually gay and hate myself, its more that i have intrusive thoughts about it very similar to what @Recursoinominado mentioned. Essentially its a form of OCD that takes the theme of worrying about sexual orientation but it could just as easily be worrying youre a pedophile or youre a muderer or could be anything really. Your brain is looking for certainty and just constantly questioning everything, like 'oh that time you thought that guy was handsome' etc. Obviously i have nothing against gay people but its just not who i am which leads to the frustration of why are these intrusive thoughts there. I think it has something to do with how everyone around me when i was young hated gay people so to me it was the worst thing possible, so any thought i resisted when in reality i could have just let the thoughts flow through. I also believe if you have ocd, youre born with an ocd brain which is something you have to come to understand.

    Whether sexual orientation is learnt or genetic i would say its the same thing as the nature/nuture debate you have an innate leaning, but things can happen in your life where you may change or feel free to experiment. I think its a lot to do with the society you grew up in. For example in the days of the greek spartans it was normal for the soldiers to have sex with the young recruits, no one questioned this. Whereas when and where i was growing up you would have been seen as weird or ostracised, or religious communities that literally try and change your sexuality. So definitely culture and nuture have a part to play, but we all have a gender that we can see ourselves being with sexually. For me although my mind is in the habit of worrying about it, realistically i couldnt see myself being comfortable or enjoying a relationship with the same sex

  2. Posted

    5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

    @Charlotte  It is kind of toxic, because it is based around neediness I think. It developed when I was learning Japanese and all these people that I wanted to talk to either thought I am trying to rob them (tourists) or they were so polite that I didn't really get to know them that much, it was basically all small talk and bowing. I found it very limiting :/ For example this thread is probably my most favourite, because we don't have to be ashamed of anything, no need for barriers.

    @Consept  Do you still have that OCD? I think that most people are affraid to tell you about their true feelings, but if you get good with body language and observing what they say and then you connect the dots, you can kind of guess. You might be able to tell what their values and interests are just by talking about something, or seeing what they order in a restaurant etc... It's really interesting :D 

    Yeah i still have that theme of ocd but i understand it 100x better than before, obviously before i didnt even know what it was, so that led to all the habits and reassurance which im still dealing with today. It can also play out in perfectionism, as in i should have the 'perfect' thoughts, but again with understanding it takes a lot of the sting out but its still very frustrating. I think it plays into worrying about what people think as i used to have social anxiety but thats gone for the most part. Yeah i love atching body language and stuff, always very interesting, its like a whole conversation going on as well as the verbal, its easy to fake verbals but not body language.

     

  3. Posted

    It's interesting what we deem as 'secret worthy', as in where does the shame around that come from?

    My kind of secrets are, I have had hocd, where you worry about your sexual orientation for no good reason, for many years, that and other themes of ocd. 

    I always wonder if people like me or not. Probably other things but it would be around how I feel day to day, I think everyone has to put on this mask of everything's great so there's always the secret of how so eone really feels 

  4. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Hermetics said:

    Here's a video of mooji with his perfect english.  Why would someone at a young age with perfect english now has trouble with english when he gets older?  "things that make you go hmmmm.  I"m sorry to say but he's a complete fraud and this video completely proves it.  A man putting on this eastern type of jamaican type of accent to see more like an eastern "mystical buddha" fake fake fake

     

    That doesn't prove much, my mum grew up in Nigeria but lived in London from 18 to 30 something and can put on the most proper English accent you've ever heard, but her normal speaking voice around friends and family is the most Nigerian accent you've ever heard. If she was on TV she'd definitely talk like mooji in the above video. Most people who have experiences growing up in different places can at least put on the accents when needed 

  6. Posted

    2 hours ago, Nivsch said:

    Yes, in my opinion, a Green world of compassion to all living creatures, veganism, equality with healthy sides of prior stages too is BETTER than an orange dominant world or blue world.

    Yes, we need also all prior stages (healthy sides) in our life and behaviour every day, and still society who hasn't reached green and yellow yet, is less good than society who reached it, because there is less flexibility in this kind of society, less awareness, more suffering and more mental health and physical health issues to people.

    But if you put every stage alone - so then - indeed no stage is better as itself. Because no stage can live alone. Every stage must have the support of the prior just like we cant have a building with only 4th floor (without 1-3). 

    I want to use yellow strategy to meet every person in HIS stage, and in that way to make the society less polarized and this is alone will help people move up and open to new stages, I think.

    Netanyahu is thriving under polarization conditions and he tries to polarized us all the time with his de-legitimating the left campaign.

    So what i want is to use yellow strategy to de-polarized the society.

    But i cant do it alone! Thats why i want other political activists to understand that, and do it too :)

    The sentiments cool and I get what your saying, but it's like saying a 15 year old is better than a 3 year old. Yes you could make that argument that a 3 year old is completely dependent on their parents whereas a 15 year old can contribute with house work, can get a job is more emotionally stable than a 3 year old. But that doesn't mean that you can push a 3 year old to mature and become 'better'. All you can do is provide an environment for the 3 year old to mature healthily and hope that they do, but you can't force them to fix all their issues that will be done in their own time. 

    What I would suggest to you is before you start worrying about upgrading masses of people, focus on the 5 closest people to you and get them to move up and better their circumstances and mindsets. Once you do that scale it up. My hypothesis is that maybe one or them will really listen to you maybe not even one, the rest will either not take it in or reject it 

  8. Posted

    A lot of celebrities most likely wanted to become celebrities because they felt lower, a lot of them are very insecure and hold on to that fame tightly. But they can hide it and appear alpha, so as far as their fans know they are. 

    Ones that truly are alpha or a better way to say it, one's that are truly comfortable within themselves, most likely became famous because they were just good at their art and the fame was a by product of that. Those that just wanted to be famous are most likely uncomfortable with themselves or beta if you like 

  9. Posted

    As far as I can see you're either an incel or very sympathetic to their ideologies to the point where you believe what they're saying to be truth. 

    The thing with statistics is that you can justify whatever perspective you have with them. The problem is that if youre research is not experiential then the stats can trap you. Think about it like this, you've read online something somebody has written in a forum or on reddit where they've quoted some study about how it's hard for most men to attract women, (you probably haven't read the full study yourself). This person that has written it has most likely not spent time trying to become better at meeting and communicating with the opposite sex, so they have no direct experience of what they're talking about. Getting rejected once or twice doesn't count, that's like me picking up a guitar twice, not being able to play santanas chords in 'maria' and then claiming that black men can't play the guitar because stats. 

    So you've now read this online you yourself most likely have little experience in this field, but because it justifies how you feel you take it as truth. The only way you can know something is first hand, so go out there try and meet women, you may fail, look at why you failed, look at what people who are successful in this field are doing, improve, start seeing some success etc. The fact is whatever field you want to talk about most people don't succeed not because of stats but because they're not willing to go through the necessary process to succeed, it's never easy. What is easy is protecting your ego by citing some reason outside of yourself for not doing what you want. 

     

     

  10. Posted

    3 hours ago, Nivsch said:

    Oh OK. I understand. Its weird because i feel like I am not different from them. I have the same liberal and equality values as them, I feel the same passion about those values like them, and I think that our values are MUCH better than those of anti-democratic and Orthodox people. But still i do attract enormously to Spiral dynamics and they don't (or much less than I). Thats why its seems weird to me. Maybe there is something i missing out here.

    Careful with the use of the word 'better', you're making yourself superior to others and thus concluding that they should listen to you because you're 'right' which actually shows that you still have to progress in spiral dynamics. 

    You can't just get someone to adopt this model like that, the same way we can't convince you not keep pushing it on other people. 

  11. Posted

    25 minutes ago, Inder said:

    @Leo Gura so you saying ego doesn't really care much about physical survival but survival of concepts, self images and beliefs of our mind.

    So thoughts have no real value but to keep the construct of mind survive,

    What about higher self or true self, i know it concern about thriving and growing, but what about physical survival does our higher self help us?

    Does our intution not just concern about thriving but also surviving?

    Because lot of time i try to observe my thoughts and emotions and try to accept them as its, and try to follow my intuition without thinking, but after sometime thoughts pops out in my brain and let me keep stuck in my head and assure me feeling of control.

    But thanks Leo what you have done for this world, its very helpul, God bless you brother.

    Ego cares about whatever you believe to be real, so for example if you believed you were a loyal citizen of Germany in the 1940s you might kill and die to preserve that persona and ideology . It doesn't make it real but the key is that you believe its real. 

    So yes physical survival is important but can be trumped if you believe something else is more important 

  12. Posted

    On 30/05/2019 at 5:41 AM, Ry4n said:

    Exposure and Response prevention and Acceptance and commitment therapy was definitely the best treatment combo for me, meds (prozac) helped but were not the cure and meditation was helpful as well. 

    Yeah I think that's ultimately the best combo erp and act, it's the only thing that tackles it directly, glad you've got better though 

  15. Posted

    13 minutes ago, Bill W said:

    Hello mate,

    I listened to it. Thanks. My response might be going in a different direction to your main message I don't know. It's all about AA I am afraid, but I feel there is a link to your message? 

    Yeh, with the reference to AA and 12-step fellowship approach. I was thinking the same thing just before you even mentioned AA, like a few seconds before I was linking your message from the first few minutes to what I have experienced in AA and other 12-step programmes. 

    AA as I understand it through my own experience in it, actually empowers people by teaching them that one of the reasons they are still stuck in addiction and/or general dysfunction in life (even if they are clean and sober by this point) is that we have tried so tirelessly to sort out our shit on our own, and we are constantly failing in this because we are trying to fix our mind with our very own mind.

    In my experience AA teaches that we are too limited to fix ourselves on our own. I find AA does this in a remarkably empowering way as you have to appreciate many people who come into a 12-step programme are at rock bottom, with zero self-worth as it is. Many are in such turmoil you would never think they would recover and function well again. AA kind of tells you.... "you've done your best, you've fought a good fight, but it's time to throw in the towel and surrender. The game is up". At this point, if you really buy into the programme and have the right meetings to go to, a good sponsor, you are off and running into recovery. 

    The Higher Power aspect of the 12-step approach is amazing in my experience. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything to do with God. Many atheists recover and stay in a 12-step programme for a good while. AA gently guides you into choosing your own Higher Power. For some people, the Higher Power is the "room" i.e. the meeting they are in. I have witnessed first hand the power of this. This is where the power of peer support really comes in. There is a massive sense of togetherness, and honesty. 

    Also in connection to your message, the 12-step approach really focuses on letting shit go. It's not just about acquire, acquire, acquire skills etc. The ego is constantly under attack if you are properly engaged in a 12-step programme. 

    David Hawkins is a big fan of the 12-step approach for this reason. Power is generated in the rooms. A power that for many simply cannot be accessed on your own doing. 

    Hey man, thanks for watching and thanks for the reply. I agree with you, AA is very powerful, so powerful that i think its methodology should be stretched to help all of those with any addiction and many others with mental health issues. Essentially alcoholism is a mental disease but we as a society tend to just focus on the alcohol part of it, as if the person is just choosing to drink alcohol. 

    With regard to the message in the video theres definitely a link and the idea behind this video and other videos im going to post, is to take the methodology from AA and also elements of  non-duality and use it as a way to switch perspective on OCD and anxiety as i know many people are suffering out there and this may help them. 

    But youve encouraged me to look into AA even deeper and see what else could applicable, but yeah i love the message and the idea of giving up on the perceived self to sort everything out. Einstein said 'you cant solve problems on the same level they were created' ie you cant solve the problem of self with self lol

  17. Posted

    13 hours ago, Bill W said:

    This is my first topic. I did a book review already but am not counting that really. This is the first time I've taken the plunge and worked up the courage to ask a question "in front of the class".

    I'm not expecting long answers from people. In the context of this ramble, how would you describe the possible benefits of nonduality philosophy to me Is it correct to call it a philosophy? I'm not looking for people to do my work for me. I'm not being lazy. I'm just stuck in my current level of understanding. 

    I'm not sure if I should try and understand nonduality or just let that sleeping dog lie for now. I can't work out whether it's something I should have as a foundation (such as deciding if I buy into it or not), or whether it's something that I should consider later on. 

    I really didn't want to ask this. I honestly have tried to read around and use the search function on here. I've read what Nahm has written (via his signature) but I do need to watch the video's in his link. However, from everything I've read online and listened to via YouTube I still can't ascertain what's the benefit to me of (a) understanding nonduality and then possibly (b) buying into it. 

    I get like this with self-development. I can obsess a bit too much on things that might be small detail or not relevant to my needs. I fear if I don't try and understand something I am missing out somehow. 

    Not sure if you need to know some basics about me, or whether it's irrelevant what my little plans and dreams are.....

    For the last few months I've been getting my feet wet with basic Buddhist teachings. I'm also finding parts of the Bible incredibly uplifting, and much more practical than I thought the Bible would be. 

    I don't know what I think about God. I'm not sure who God is or how God works. I (think) I believe at the minimum there is some Higher Power relevant and active in my life. I feel like I am looked after and that I am supposed to follow a path. 

    With the thoughts I am conscious of, my immediate and primary goal is to manage my general fear, insecurities, to be able to better handle uncertainty, to better manage resentments I hold against people, and to move away from my ego (as I understand my ego to be). To move away from animal instinct behaviour. I want to be cool, calm, and collected. Kind to others. Forget myself. Get outside my own head.

    My most cherished values at the moment seem to be around openmindedness and humility. If I can get these right I think other good stuff can manifest, such as compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and resilience. I have all these qualities to a degree, but I want more, and better still, I want these values to be better reflected in my behaviour. 

    OK so reading your post I think there are some misunderstandings you have about non-duality, which is to be expected as you're new to the idea of it. First I think you're equating it to other ideologies, as in will this way of thinking help me the person. So you're looking for something to add to the you that you think you are, actually non-duality is a dropping or at least a questioning of the who you are. You are non-dual already, if you think about it you can't be you and also observe 'you', that creates a duality which is not real.

    So the journey is more about the realisation of what you're not rather than what you are. So you don't 'get' anything from this but there is freedom from self but no freedom for the self. You think the problem is that your self is not good enough but the real problem is you're attached to your self. 

    If you think of the film the matrix, Neo is trapped because he believes himself to be the avatar in the matrix, once he gets out, its not necessarily better but it gives him freedom from what he thought himself to be. He's still him but he just knows he's not the avatar. 

    The question is it worth believing in is probably not the right question, but a better question might be is it worth believing you are who you think you are? 

  19. Posted

    You have some really good savings there, just an idea but property is pretty cheap in scotland so might be an idea to buy to let you can usually get pretty good yields, realistically youve got a deposit for at least 2 places. If not you could look a something abroad, i know the stamp duty is a bit of a hurdle at the moment so maybe something in spain or further and air bnb it. 

    Other than that you could look into stocks although that could be fairly long term. I sell on amazon myself so seeing as you work for them you could do really well with a 10k investment for example. Or if you want more traditional route, have a think of what your dream job would be and allow yourself to believe you could do it and then look into how much the training would be for it. You have a good start off point and anything is probably possible for you to do you just have to really strategise and work out what you want to do

  24. Posted

    31 minutes ago, Roch said:

    I don’t want enlightenment because it’s not normal. No examples of enlightened people seem normal to me. So what’s the point. I’m interested in personal development to move up to the level of normal and functional. Right now I feel below that. 

    But who sets what's normal? So for example, say you were unaware you were in a mental institution where everyone was for lack of a better word crazy. The normal and functional way of being in that environment is to be what we would consider crazy, would you strive to be normal and functional within that environment even though deep down something felt not quite right? Or would you try and look beyond that to see what is true?