cetus

You gotta trancend all that by letting it go. Your only practice is to step out of the way and let awareness do it's own thing.

@Aakash It's always there somewhere. Sometimes in the background and sometimes in the foreground. What is this hieroglyphs?

Yea sometimes your awareness and sometimes your the appearance. That's were the real practice starts- when you see that's the case.

@Aakash If being awareness is just another activity then no you won't be able to do both. If awareness is all there is then you could be going down in a flaming plane crash and nothing would shake that.

Awareness is like a screen on which all things appear. Even the body and mind appear on this screen.

This too is awareness. Every bit of it!

@Aakash Or as Adyashanti says: "Rest as awareness"

@Aakash Stay there and don't let go.

@Aakash Make it your cover photo to remind yourself of what you are.

@Aakash That's just how your mind sees it. If you explore it further you will find it has a certain quality to it that can't be explained with words. (referring to the pic of blackness)

@Aakash Your breaking out of the deam of the limited self into higher self or universal self. But still a small sliver of the limted self always remains. It is that "sliver" that feels the loneliness. As long as your alive some percentage of your human condition will remain because you are that too.

@moon777light Well that's encouraging to hear especially with 50 lesions involved. Small world too. I live not far from Haddonfield. Thanks again. I see you mention Lyme disease also. That has a lot of the same symptoms as ms. When I worked in construction we built a handicap accessable home for a woman with Lyme disease so I know from what she had told me about it.

@Just the mage I totally hear you. I too wish I was able to work in home construction again and just live a "normal" life.

@Just the mage You should look into S.S.I. disability if you haven't already.

@Leo Gura Yes. That's what the Dr's tell me. @moon777light Thanks. I'll check into her work.

@JayG84 Why should I build a live life when it has no meaning? The same reason people climb Mount Everest. Because it's there

Maybe you are just now discovering the true meaning of life to be lived.

@Leo Gura Just to throw this out there. MRI's do show lesions on the spinal cord and brain. Weird stulff for sure. The body attacking it's own nervous system.

@Leo Gura Finding that out first hand.

@Leo Gura Not sure if it's kundalini either but I experience something very similar to what the op discribes here. Western doctors label it ms.

Just for a piece of mind nothing about reality changed at all. Only the way you see it.

@herghly You certainly stepped up your game there. You condensed 20 years worth of sitting on a cushion into a few hours.

There's nothing to panic about. It never really happened.

Seems to be you got the Full Monty all at once.