Jannes

Little note I wrote yesterday which fits here: The gym got my little safe place. I feel more comfortable there then in my own home. Sometimes I do little unobstrusive dances after sets for fun. It further developed in the past days. I wasn’t just dancing a little for my own entertaining, my inner being got carried away also for just a second. I threw my head back and then flirted with myself in a playful way in the mirror. Authentically playful, dramatic, strange, whacky, beautiful, loving. It was a brief moment into something I always did as a child. Like a short second my inner authentic being stretched all the way out and I remembered that that’s how I survived being lonely and rejected as a child. I developed an inner joy for myself that was so beautiful that it provided me energy to take on pretty much any challenge. I often hummed myself to that place as well. I saw people around me looking strange at me and I feared to stay authentic and crawled into my shell again.

For how long have you been working out? If you just start your whole body will be wrecked like crazy after a bit of work. Haha I miss that feeling. You might overtrain. You could reduce the load which would reduce fatigue and stimulus (still enough if you are a beginner) and you could still improve your technique.

Crying happens spontaneously at least for me. When I am beautifully gripped by a thought on how I could change the world for the better for example. But then it’s often at a public space and I am not comfortable crying there. At home I can try to get into the mood with something beautifully sad but it’s never as good as when it happens spontaneously and tears aren’t guaranteed. But I feel like you can get better at it with practice.

It’s not like it would stop me from taking them. If it takes a decade from my life but for that I get profound awakenings that’s very well worthed imo. But I am just curious how damaging they actually are for the body and if there are substances that are more damaging then others.

You look at the world through your traumas. I don’t know what your friends did to you but you can have genuinely good friends. It’s just that it takes a lot of emotional energy if you really want to understand someone. If the first thing you try to do is to tell them about your traumas, fears and bad experiences then they will just want to run away because that’s a one sided relationship. And also most people don’t have that much of a need to express all of their worries because they already have ways to let some steam go. You can tell people about that in small chunks and that’s also important for a deep friendship but you have to do it in a matter where it doesn’t come across that you would just want them as a personal therapist.

I feel like if you had at least one very close female friend everything would be simpler for you. For one she would know you and could give you advice and second you would have a shoulder to cry on if stuff like this happens. We can try to help you here but a physical shoulder is a lot more comforting. Maybe find some kind of social group where you can find people to connect with. Could be something as simple as yoga class. Some stage green activity where you can find people who have a lot of compassion. A lot of people look for and find friends through these activities. Even if you fear socializing you need to expose yourself. You can make radical improvements if you just do it. Just start with something simple. If it doesn’t work right away that’s fine, you will learn regardless. A self help group could also be an idea. You could also use dating apps to find friends. I see a lot of people there that write in their bio that they are just looking for friends. Maybe these people aren’t well socialized as well but maybe it makes connecting with these people easier for you.

What do you mean by „consumed properly“?

Have you taken MDMA just by itself or with a psychedelic?

That guy is literally insane lmao. You can feel tired at the beginning of a vegan diet because your gut bacteria has to adapt and you might not be skilled enough yet to cook meals that have the same calories as before. Calorie restriction makes you tired of course. Here is a short video that compares the diets. The guy eats meat so it’s not pro vegan. He basically says that healthy vegan diets are on the same health level as healthy omnivores diets. But healthy vegan diets are for sure more healthy then omnivores "eat whatever I want diets“ @KH2

I think your thinking is that an omnivorous diet is a superset of a vegan diet. And so it has to be at least as healthy as a vegan diet but probably healthier. But that’s a bad way of looking at things because if you eat animal products you take calories away which could be filled with vegan food. So it very well can be the case that veganism is healthier then an omnivore diet.

Source: Gigachad That sounds like such a conspiracy theory. Don’t you think they could also be just stage yellow thinker and recognize that we won’t sustain the human race with meat consumption and because veganism is healthy and sustainable it should be supported? In what?

Yes but it doesn’t mean it can’t also be healthy.

- Mango -cherry tomatoes -raspberries -pineapple -fresh dates

What I know is that health organization around the world either support veganism or say that there aren’t enough studies yet to come to conclusions. I think vegetarianism gets a lot more support. But you also have to take into account that when you make recommendations for society there will always be stupid people who don’t properly plan their diet. And if you recommend to them a diet that is limited, chances will be higher that they will fuck up. If you have limited choices of course you gotta take them. We have unlimited choice now. Just because something worked in the past doesn’t mean it’s optimal for the future. We both are. Same as you. The cows that you eat don’t get their B12 from grass, they eat pills as well lol.

Yeah meat tastes good. Doesn’t mean it’s healthy or needed. That’s not what the literature says. A well planed vegan diet is healthy.

For 9/10 guys that’s the case. If you are really attractive as a guy you will get all the girls there.

@vladorion @KH2 you are so funny ?

I am interested in knowing it pretty bad but I am also still somewhat comfortable with the illusion. Probably in the future my interest will grow strong enough. But I would like to loose my sense of self right now.

I thought they are the same because the spiritual practices like Neti Neti go after the I. So is the no-self awakening also the awakening to solopsism?

Is realizing that the "I“ is an illusion also the realization of Solopsism ?

Like a buddhist no-self awakening ?

Yesterday in theatre I got a lot of make up and looked super girly. I didn’t resist it, I played with it a bit, flirted with myself in the mirror, just played girly a bit. And my heart fucking exploded. In accepting the female part of myself I gained so much compassion for females. It was so relieving to not have to play "macho" all the time. Can see how people who do it long enough hate on masculinity not because they actually hate masculinity but because they hate the pressure of having to act masculine and not whole.

I have a male friend who made a transition where he rejected many of his male traits and adobted many female traits. He wears make up, a dress and his personality is all in all very soft, social and recessive. He told me that he hates all male traits. For one I feel like he can compensate his lack of male traits with female traits which most guys can’t and second he probably has some kind of bad experiences with toxic masculinity or problems with integrating them in a healthy way. So a lot of shadow. I feel like it’s also a problem that most male role models don’t actually represent the good side of masculinity. If you take Andrew Tate as a "prime example“ of what masculinity is then yeah I would hate on all males as well. The first time I felt in love with masculinity again was in The Witcher series.

@Loba I feel like it’s partly because men aren’t allowed to be weak by society. How can you build compassion for others if you aren’t even allowed to have compassion with yourself (crying)? Also society dictates that men should be dominant, successful .. so if they grow up that way and gain power well then it’s hard to hold back and not use it. We are very opportunistic, so if we have a opportunity to gain something relatively easily we are biologically wired to do it. For example is an antelope more ethical then a lion for not killing and eating a zebra? No it’s not because it doesn’t have the opportunity for it. I am not saying that there aren’t problems big problems with men in society. There are but 1) it’s not completely their fault and 2) women aren’t innocent just because they don’t have the opportunity to be guilty in ways that men have.