musicandmath111

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  1. I have a clinging for things to be consistent, because I hate the feeling of being confused. I always get mad when I find paradoxes (and I find them very often). Logic used to be one of my highest values because I confuse logical accuracy with clarity. My mind always tries to put my experiences together into a consistent framework, with the foolish assumption held in the back of mind that this logical theorizing will add up to a perfect theory one day. I used to believe that truth was independent from context. The reason I believed in such a framework was because I wanted to find something that I could believe in, some kind of faith. I believed that this would give meaning to my life. And finding new data that oppose contradictions with my old theories was always frustrating to me. I have a fear for insanity because of the negative experiences I had when facing it (for example, porn). And so logic was a priority for me because I believed it would protect me from becoming insane. It is a sign of a rigid mind to cling onto logic and models. That's what I've realized today. I want to let go of my need for certainty and my hatred of confusion. I have a large web of beliefs surrounding logic that make me resistant to exploring reality through non-logical means. I want to go from rational to post-rational. How can feel grounded without the need for logic? Any tips?