Rishabh R

Hi, a 22 year old engineering student here . I have been mistreated by girls a lot since, my school days . Even emotionally bullied .Any idea people as I have been rejected a lot and they treat me like bullshit . However , I have worked on my dating life , got abused both by girls and boys , got threatened girls. How do I move on ? How do I get over the trauma of being rejected by girls in the past ?By the way I am thinking that after bad good comes in life and I am responsible for getting jealous of those girls who are dating guys. Yesterday , I consulted my psychiatrist and he said that I am being succeding in my life beyond his imagination . And also a final note - Am I making an assumption that good things won't come in my life ? Is cognitive behavioral therapy suitable for this situation ?

@meta_male yeah thank you.

You could either focus on quality of relationships rather than quantity of relationships like most people do . However, as @integral said each relationship is a learning experience there is a lot to learn from even from simple day to day relationship like ( non romantic) most of the relationships in life end however there would be some relationships that would last throughout your life .

@integral Yeah I never had a gf but I attracted many girls . I said -I love you to 3 girls in my life and all those 3 girls are with somebody else . I approached many girls that is more than 50 girls in my college campus and in one case I was kicked out of campus abusingly by a girl whom was I was talking to . Once I remember that I was near to sex with a married maid of mine however , I said sorry to her cause I knew that she was married and she said ok. By the way I don't want to have sex with a married or already committed person . Majority of girls in my college batch call me brother as they are committed. I also feel jealous of girls die to the fact that they are dating and I have nobody ( sorry to all the females present here).However, this is a good solution .

Maybe by cognitive behavioural therapy , letting go etc.

@Princess Arabia sorry but I was not talking about that. I think that Leo's video -Assumption is the mother of all --- ups will be helpful .

@Princess Arabia thank you . So, it is good for me to question assumptions about myself.

@Chives99 thank you .

@Something Funny thank you . This is a good way of thinking .

@Leo Gura So I must be optimistic that a girl will accept me one day ?

@Leo Gura thank you.

@Chives99 great. I am glad to see your progress.

@Leo Gura also I am waiting for the courses and hoping that I would take the mind course if it will be not costly. By the way I was just curious to know that will there be any actualized.org video tomorrow as I am eager to grow along with you on this self actualization journey that started in 2017 when I discovered your channel and started doing the work.

@Leo Gura I loved your clips channel the second most after the main channel.

@Moksha Great. Thank you .

What truth am I avoiding facing ? -That I don't know -That I need to question assumptions -That truth is not as bad as I think -That people are not as great as they seem -That people don't have good life as it seems -That truth will have a huge impact on my life -That truth has huge recontextualization capacity -Things which I don't consider have huge impact on my life -That I am not facing the truth Where am I avoiding facing the truth ? Dating life : those girls are not for me Life purpose: that need of myself to daily remind me of my life purpose Career: that my marks does not matter as much as I think Emotions: that my emotions matter more than I think Human interactions: they have a huge impact on the quality of my life

I contemplated this question a lot for many days during the starting of my contemplation journey - What is the most wisest way to live life ?(Mentioned in Leo's video what is wisdom ) Some of the recent insights when I came back to same question from different questions are : -There is no one wisest way to live life -I am beautiful with life -I am imagining life -I am imagining difficulties -I am imagining everything -Reality is counterintuitive -Things that do us bad in short term do us good in long term -Inner world and outer world pierce each other -Everybody's full aspect of life is same -Way already implies that I am behind -Perceptions are self fulfilling Thank you @Leo Gura

Happy Birthday @Leo Gura

I think it is given in the comments.

. By thinking about the situation .By rethinking every course of action

@Willie I agree with you but there were seniors in the room who called me and told that there is no garantee that he will not beat me in the future so to take the garantee he said that I have to write an apology letter.

One of my senior who has a habit of demotivating me called me in a room. He held his entire hand around me and was about to clutch my neck with his arms then I gave him a punch on his back then we were engaged in a physical fight and his shirt was torned.I apologised by tearing his shirt but he didn't listen . After that he went to talk to seniors of our curriculum . The senior told me to write an apology letter to the senior whom I engaged in fight with since, I raised hand on my senior. So I wrote an apology letter. Then he came to my room and told that to make his stitch his shirt by a tailor otherwise he threatened me to tell to other senior who is Don of our college to beat me along with his friends. All of this happened to me in the hostel of my college.What to do ? As a little background - I am a 22 year old engineering student in college in India . I am interested in biological aspect of science ( my stream is biotechnology engineering). I have my life purpose connected to it . @Leo Gura

How to fall in love with life .

@Leo Gura same to you.

Most of my peers are not doing any personal development work.They are engaging in jumping from relationship to relationship. Even though I have attracted many girls and was close to sex but realised that I doesn't have that much value in it as it is projected. They are busy insulting , abusing people. They laugh at philosophy and think that spirituality is not a risky thing even though they don't do it . Even they are not doing science properly. When I move out of my college environment for some work I see a different environment - people busy in their day to day work and I am not surrounded by kissing couples as in my campus. At the same time I had an insight - College is a stimulated environment. And there is another realisation of mine from years of heartbreaks ,rejections,attracting few girls that heartbreak is a saver of you from a low quality person in life . One of my seniors told me that you will never get a girlfriend but now I am greatful that I don't have a low quality person in my life . A friend of mine gave me advice that go study don't engage in relationship and I found out that he himself was engaged in a relationship and later I found that he had a break today recently I found out that a girl whom he was dating while giving me advice is getting intimate with someone else . Almost nobody is reading self help even practical advice from Bhagvad Gita which I have read a little and will read in the future cause I think that philosophical teachings have value. Am I right @Leo Gura ?