Leo is your ego backlash episode about adversity in general in life?

[Rishabh R]

By the way it's going to be the end of the year - will your courses come in December . And which episodes of your must I watch in order to deal with failure in life in general ?

[sholomar]

The ego neither contracts nor expands. We need to talk in terms of mental habits rather than contraction and expansion of an abstraction.

By engaging with non-dual teachings and practices, we change our mental habits to be less focused on the illusion of the limited, separate self and more on the totality of our conscious experience. For me the book "open focus brain" was a big help for this, to stop trying to will myself into new mental habits and instead use the clarity of present moment awareness as the foundation in which to start from by changing the way in which I pay attention. It naturally makes you less "neurotic" as most of the symptoms of neuroticism in Leo's "40 signs you are neurotic" video are simply compulsive thinking and narrative spinning... also known as "narrow, objective focus."   Like any habit, we're not going to be perfect at it and we can fall back into our old habits when faced with stress from being overworked, sickness, lack of sleep, trauma, etc.

https://www.openfocusattentiontraining.com/2017/02/28/mindfulness-and-open-focus-two-approaches-to-attention-training/

http://heathercarrdpt.com/uncategorized/the-flow-of-open-focus/

This is natural and shouldn't be feared or resisted. Don't resist. Non-resistance doesn't mean you're giving into it, it means you're offering no conscious resistance to what naturally arises in consciousness which, in fact, strengthens your non-dual habits. Your previous egoic habits become fuel for your new non-dual habits, or even for your healthier ego habits you're trying to incorporate.

But, really, that's what it is: falling back into old habits because of stress. So go gentle on yourself, be patient, and try to avoid entertaining thoughts of how you "should" be or what you "should" be doing. "Should" doesn't serve you.

Edit: If you do want to use a metaphor to replace the expand/contract one, I would suggest you think of the ocean eroding a shoreline. The ocean is the non-dual truth about reality, and the shore is the rigid and limited view of dualism. It takes time for this erosion to take place; sometimes the ocean swells and sweeps over the land only to retreat again. Eventually, though, the ocean wins, so all you have to do is be patient and keep at it as best you can.

Edited November 11, 2023 by sholomar

[Rishabh R]

@sholomar  but ego contraction and expansion can also be a nondual thing. And also failure and success are also full circle. Thank you.

Edited November 12, 2023 by Rishabh R