something_else

The part about your argument that I find weird is that you're dead set on the stage blue ideal while acknowledging that there are stages above, or other perspectives that are generally more developed Are you planning on creating the perfect stage blue life? Sure, by all means try to do that. But you're acknowledging that there are perhaps better ways to live and rather than trying to develop towards those you are digging your heels in the mud with family values ideology. And that heel-digging goes against what most people in this forum are here for which is development I refuse to accept that there are not orange, green and yellow people or relationships in India. Why not construct such a relationship? It sounds like the girl you're with is certainly beyond blue, why not rise with her? Or why not move to a country where such a thing is more mainstream? That is the advice you will receive here because this is a forum about development! Or you can stick your heels in the mud at blue if that's where you feel like you should be. Of course there's nothing wrong with it, you can live your life however you please. But why not aspire to further development?

I think this is a good exercise. I struggle with eye contact sometimes and doing this has helped a lot

It also fucks over hospitality venues financially as well. I live in Scotland in the UK and Scotland decided to close nightclubs and sports events for the past three weeks while England did not, so it's been a good test of how impactful closing nightclubs is as almost everything else about our cultures is very similar In the past three weeks there has been almost no difference at all in covid rates between Scotland and England, which suggests that closing these venues has had little effect at all If you close nightclubs people will just go to big house parties instead where you can't even enforce vaccine passports to get in

Yea it's really cool to see some real life Leo But I'm also jealous because all our nightclubs here have been shut again

Pretty much universally out of insecurity Look at huge male celebrities or other high value men, do you think they give a single fuck about whether the 10/10 model they're sleeping with or dating has slept with 20+ other dudes? No because they've slept with more girls You only have to try and control your girls' sexuality if you feel like you're inadequate for her

I know that's what you were doing, thank you I'm just particularly bitter about this topic hahaha

Or I could have more friends and far better social skills Like 90%+ of people who party in uni don't end up addicted to anything or ruining their lives, they have a great time, make friends and let loose Also who takes opiates at a party? Is that a thing anywhere? It's mostly coke + weed I see and neither appeal to me at all really

Not taking advantage of any social opportunities in university/college I spent ~3 years of it in a mediocre relationship doing nothing socially, and the remaining year was fucked up by covid I ended up leaving having not connected with a single new person at uni in 4 years. Don't be like me

I'm sure there are some valid points here but capitalising every word makes my brain immediately not want to read any of this fyi I struggle to imagine how fapping twice a month can hurt your mental health, but hey, each to their own. Going from twice a month to zero is a much easier road than a lot of dudes who jerk off twice a day would have at least

I agree. I don't like calling it pickup, there are many bad connotations. Viewing it as learning to socialise, attract girls and develop your masculinity is a healthier frame. And of course a guy should absolutely have other things going on in their life besides trying to attract girls, and should not move to a city solely for picking up girls. We agree on that. My only remaining question to you then is: What is the alternative to something like pickup? Should the guys who can't attract girls just accept their fait and rot away in their own loneliness?

This is the dating section, what do you expect? The other sections don't talk about this kinda stuff, there's plenty of spirituality there What do you suggest guys do, repress and deny their sexual urges? Sit at home alone for the rest of their lives? Of course I have other things I want in life, I imagine almost every guy here does. But for many, lack of relationships and contact with girls is a huge problem that stops them from doing other things in their life

You're either a girl or you're a dude with a low sex drive Good luck doing anything productive as a guy if you don't have sex at least semi-regularly Having said that I agree that moving to a place solely for pickup is bad, you want to choose a place that has all round good qualities. Great nightlife, decent population, good prices, good people. But girls are always gonna be high on the priority list for guys

The metroplex includes the population around the city that the big city still serves. For example all the people who live 10 miles out of a city who want to go on a night out should also be included in population estimate for something like pickup since they'll all commute into the big city for it

Looking back I would actually increase my estimate to 50-60k girls in your age range, especially if your city has a university But even assuming 30k girls in your age range in an 800k city, the average dude would probably be willing to sleep with 20k of those I bet lol. And you can't even really formalise in your head how big of a number 20k is. 20k is 2.5 girls a day for every single day I've been alive. Even if you have high standards that would still work out as 1 girl for every day you've been alive if you're in your early twenties. If you're gonna do outrageous or awful day gaming then yea, you need a bigger city so you don't become known as a creep. Certainly if you stick to nightgame, 800k is plenty and if you can't get results with that by going out to clubs or bars then you should not be blaming the population of your city

800k population would be about, what, 30k girls in your age range maybe? Lol

About this I disagree. There is absolutely a relationship between these. Having social anxiety can make you extremely needy in relationships because you don't feel like you can meet new people if your current relationship ends

Oh I agree, most 100k towns would not be ideal but this town has a few things going for it like a medium sized university, as well as a much larger city very close by too. And a bit of a party culture I usually go out one or two nights a week in the 100k town since it's so easy and one night in the big 650k city The logistics of the small town are just great because you can live so close to everything. When I was looking at places there, first place I went for was an absolutely beautiful apartment for rent that literally shared a wall with a nightclub lol. Talk about perfect logistics

I feel like you should consider more than just the population of girls when choosing to move to a place Last thing you want is to have a shitty night out then have to drag yourself home to a dumpy studio apartment that you hate being in because that's all you can afford in a bigger city I live in a town with like 100k people, which is a 15min drive/train from a city with a pop of around 650k and that combined gives me plenty of girls in my age range I chose to stay in the 100k town instead of the 650k city because it's way cheaper and I was able to rent a lovely apartment which is about a 30 sec walk from all the main bars and clubs there which is basically perfect logistics Obv the larger city is better for hardcore numbers game pickup but consider other factors as well, you want to be happy where you stay

Dude ?

It evolved that way for a very good reason. You can bullshit with words but it's much harder to bullshit non-verbals and cues

Welcome to dating

That's good. If you can genuinely see positives in him and you are actually emotionally attracted to him and not staying with him because he checks boxes then I guess maybe you can make it work? But frankly this dude probably needs a girl with a lower sex drive and you need a dude who has a higher one If you're at the point where you're asking internet strangers if it's ok to cheat on your partner because he doesn't want to put in any effort to make you cum then something has gone very very wrong and it's both of your faults Then again I'm 22, wtf do I really know.

Why are you still with this dude out of curiosity? Like what traits does he have that you find attractive? Presumably there are some

Lol. If you don't break up with him I hope to god he breaks up with you

Maybe most girls have tried them out at some point, yea. But as you say many won't stay there that long which I would say suggests most don't really want to use them or get that much value out of them I don't think focusing on number of approaches is ideal. It will be different for everyone And it should be a balance between pickup type stuff and just being social. Go out, have fun, be social, but make sure you're pushing your comfort zone and talking to the girls you find attractive I mean if you want to talk numbers if you go out and talk to even 20 girls every weekend, which is not that hard, you're already at 1000 after a year Look at naturally sociable people, they'll end up just talking to that many new people on a night out without even trying. That's kinda what I'm aiming for