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Just like 'bank' can mean place you get money, or the side of a river, depending on context Many words have multiple meanings and you use the context to work out the meaning Youth is usually valued more in girls so the term just kind of gets interchangeably used. If anything I bet it's actually women who enjoy being called girls The equivalent word for men is 'guys' as it can be used to basically mean a male of any age. Should we stop using the world 'guys' because it's too ambiguous? I could be talking about 12 year old boys when I say guys, if you ignore context It's the same issue more or less

Careful, this can be your own form of ego. People who don't socialise that much tend to build up this idea that all the normal people who socialise are beneath them Source: Did this for many years and know several others who did it too The people at clubs are not any different from the people in everyday life, really. It's the context that's different

Yea, the smooth talkers and the good lookers succeed. But your average dude who is capable of socialising, has a social circle, goes out tons, will get action by sheer numbers of girls he ends up interacting with naturally. It only takes one girl to find him attractive and there you go. Most guys in college/uni end up getting action and that all happens through these kinds of venues that are jam packed with people 7 days a week. The problem is that there are an increasingly large number of dudes who do not meet this basic social skill requirement. The solution is not telling them to stop socialising with girls and wait for the one to come along. It's the exact opposite. They need as much exposure as they can stomach. Normal girls hang out at these venues. Like 90% of the population enjoys a party. Everyone at these venues is there to get drunk and have fun. They go there to meet new people. Dance. Drink. Socialise. If you have even basic social skills you can go to these places, talk and dance with strangers. Clubs are especially good for this because everyone blends into one big mess of people

Basically there is no right answer but you do still want good money psychology. For example it is very easy to spend more and more each month until you are pushing the limits of what you can afford. This is the typical human approach towards money And with readily available credit cards with a high limit this can be very dangerous

I was referring to you saying that he should lower his standards to 1s, 2s, and 3s because of his appearance

Read what I wrote, I didn't attack you. I just told you to stop talking like an incel. The incel mindset of 'looks are all that matter' is really toxic to anyone who wants to improve themselves with girls You told this dude that if he isn't physically attractive enough he should lower his standards to 1,2,3 out of 10 girls which is ridiculous

Get out of here with your incel crap. Yea, looks matter, but they're not all that matters. Women care less about looks than men. This mindset of never being able to get a girl if you're not a top 20% dude is a cancer on your mind and it creates a deadly self-fulfilling prophecy I have several male friends who are not traditionally physically attractive yet they're 10x better with women than me purely out of personality and social skill

I read this as "I'm confused by the stats but I don't want to give up my existing notions about bars and nightclubs" Tons of couples meet in bars and nightclubs. My parents met in a nightclub and married each other lol Anywhere you have large numbers of men and women mixing together are places where couples meet. Yea these places are heavy on the hookup side, but it's not like they're only for hookups. And things that start out casual can lead to relationships as well Yea, it's probably the confident and the good looking who thrive in that environment but it's clearly not just a tiny majority of elite men. It's at least 27.5% lol. The average dude has good enough social skills to go to a nightclub with friends and chat up girls. If he does that enough one of them will fall for him All the game talk here is usually for dudes who are socially fucked in some way or another and need some bootstrapping to fix that

Well not me. If a girl had the expectation of me buying her flowers, spending tons of money on her, showering her with attention etc. just after I'd met her then I'd run away from that pretty damn quick I suppose it's personal taste, though. But to me it comes across as a red flag. I want my relationships to start out super chill with very little expectations, just enjoying each others company I did this kinda lovey stuff with my ex after we knew each other for like 6mths to a year

I can speak for the experience I've had with girls in the 18-22 range which is that you should definitely not wait this long But the rules of online communication change drastically for people in that age range compared to what advice I hear given by older people

Some 'normal' girls are into some crazy shit Most girls are probably kinkier than you under the right circumstances There's almost nothing that can beat exploring a girls sexuality with her, letting her dirtiest thoughts and fantasies loose You're not gonna get that from a hooker The best sexual experimentation comes from experimenting with the emotional highs of what you're doing rather than physical sensation. Example: "I'm enjoying this because of the polarity between us all night, the chase, the back and forth, the story, and the conclusion where I drag you back to my apartment, hold you by your hair and and rail you hard against my wall until you collapse in a puddle of your own wetness on my bed" Is way hotter than "I paid you so can you stand against my wall while I put my dick inside you and then leave when I cum" Even if you do the kinkiest acts you can imagine with a hooker, I can't imagine there's anywhere near the emotional charge that there is with a 'normal' girl Sorry for the graphic detail, was needed to make a point

Healthy attractive men have so many options available that they wouldn't bother investing flowers, money and time into a girl when 5 other more attractive ones are available instantaneously that don't have such expectations The flowers and lovey stuff comes after the initial attraction and some dating when both parties feel like a commited relationship is beneficial It should not happen at the start and realistically very few healthy attractive men with options are gonna do that needy shit early on

If this works for you then you are the exception not the rule. For 95%+ of girls, especially younger girls, chasing with money, showering with attention etc. just simply doesn't work. It's the nice guy strategy. Pretty much every guy has tried this and realised it doesn't typically work

I relate to this a lot. I don't know how many times I've been through the cycle of chatting to girls online, have it go well, then suddenly get left on read. It doesn't feel good. I also relate to feeling down when I don't have at least one or two girls that I'm texting at a given time However the solution for me was to start putting myself in situations where I talk to girls in real life. Then I stopped caring as much when I got left on read with girls I met through Tinder online

This advice sounds good but in practice as a guy it unfortunately doesn't get you very far. It tends to come across as super needy to the girl which repels her. Not all girls, but many. So it becomes a poor strategy for guys

Lol, maybe for some guys but I can 100% confirm this does not apply to me Porn does not trick my brain into thinking I had sex, not even close really It feels like a bandaid that makes sexual urges go away for half a day or so. Compare that to good sex which can clear my mind for a good couple weeks @bloomer Ultimately the work required to suppress sexual urges while doing spiritual work is gonna be much greater than the effort it takes to learn to attract girls. For most guys, anyway. The advice of "just ignore it and keep working on yourself" is really silly. You'll probably get more spiritual growth by facing all the fears and demons you have surrounding yourself and girls than you will with 10yrs of meditation The hierarchy is not so rigid, but there is a truth to the idea of getting basic survival shit handled before you start on the really challenging stuff. No reason you can't do spiritual work while you're improving your ability to attract girls but don't completely ignore the latter

I actually think this is a bad strategy. When I had more than one dating profile it became an awful time sink and I noticed it was not good for my mental health. I would say at max have two profiles that you actively manage and optimise That was a great comparison though! Tinder is probably to Bumble what Bumble is to OkCupid. Basically incredibly streamlined which can be good or bad. I'm probably a bit too young to use OkCupid anyway, I've heard that's usually targeted more at people in older age brackets? I'm 22 for reference

Good trick, though I've stopped using Bumble now. Shame this doesn't work for Tinder web version How do you find it compared to Tinder out of curiosity?

Yes. Anything they teach you at home you can find online for free. They thrive on their marketing as the best pickup company. If it was an in person course I could almost imagine that price being reasonable because you get practical and tailored advice

For some people this works, but if you're naturally quite skinny then you petty much need to force yourself to eat a whole bunch more than you would normally no matter how much you work out

If a program can afford to give a 50% off deal that's a good indicator that it's not worth the money

Yea I'd say 27.5% is definitely a tiny majority

Buying a hooker is a terrible solution, especially to lose your virginity. There is a middle ground between buying a hooker and true love, surely you must see that??? You want someone who finds you attractive and wants to fuck you instead of someone who is forced by contract The actual solution is learn to socialise, especially with girls. Maybe a hooker is a good solution for some but it is not sustainable and I suspect many who opt to lose their virginity to one regret it

You can blow this out of the water by asking yourself if you would still have this mindset if you had an abundance of attractive women wanting to have sex with you. If that were the case, you would not have this position. You only hold this position because you believe or feel women are scarce and so you need coping mechanisms to deal with this fact It's a classic defence mechanism for guys who get rejected or don't get as much sex as they'd like, you see it over and over. I was full into this mindset when I was a nerdy school kid and I knew several others who did too. And now I know it's incredibly toxic. "Women aren't that great anyway", "I'm just not that sexual, I prioritise the important things in life", "All this socialising and partying is beneath me", "Sex isn't a big deal for me", "She wasn't that attractive anyway" – These are all lies you tell yourself to cope with the lack of sex and they are toxic to your existence and this kind of thinking is the basis for your position here. It assumes women are scarce This^ I can't think of a much worse thing for a man than being a lonely virgin until death This is nothing to do with uncontrolled cravings, this is to do with bad partner choice. Plenty of male celebrities do not have this problem and enjoy the life of abundant sex and partying that they lead, then transcend it at some point. Take Russel Brand for example. Follow the positive examples and not the negative ones It's much easier to control your desires if you've lived them out healthily already. Beating them though raw self-control is not very effective and leads to coping, defence mechanisms, repression and inceldom. In fact, the only way to truly exercise self-control in this matter is to have access to tons of sex and reject it. That is true self-control. If you can't even get laid, what are you exercising self-control over in the first place??

Because bigger and stronger is better for survival because you can kill smaller things more easily Women evolved an attraction to strong and dominant men and being tall makes you visually appear far more dominant