something_else

Honestly you have some very controversial opinions and often express them confidently as though they are fact. That’s not necessarily bad but you can’t then complain when people fight back against you @thisintegrated I was a mod in a few gaming communities and there was usually a decent amount of drama with mods, it’s unavoidable. However I actually really enjoyed being a mod and it felt like it developed my personality/maturity quite a lot I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to enjoy the power. It made me feel good, I enjoyed getting to make decisions about other people. Ultimately you want people in these positions who enjoy their job and the power it gives them, but not to take it too seriously in the sense that they become obsessed with following every rule to the letter and being power hungry bastards A good description I’ve heard of who you want as mods are people who are Neutral Good in the D&D system

This take seems kind of silly. A better analogy is that MBTI is Nokia, better than nothing but far better alternatives have arisen as we’ve advanced. You sound like the people who were saying smartphones were just a fad in 2008 while they clung onto their Nokia brick phones because it was what they were used to The Big 5 is honestly pretty usable. It’s simpler than MBTI. With MBTI you’ve got 16 types, 8 cognitive functions and 16 different ways to order those cognitive functions to learn. With Big 5 you just have 5 spectrums which are very clearly labelled and descriptive. When someone says neuroticism or extroversion you know what that means much more implicitly than say ‘introverted sensing’ or ‘judging vs perceiving’ which are totally meaningless without additional information People just like MBTI because it exploits our desire to identify, label, and categorise, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best system

It's funny, me and a fair few people I know have gone through a phase like this after discovering cognitive functions

Ah. Now we've found the source of the problem. Dude first off you must be fucking good looking if you got 40 dates from Tinder in 6 months, I did alright on Tinder and I'm decent looking and tall, but I probably got about half that. Though I closed on about 90% of the Tinder dates I've gone on, and almost all of them were on the first date But the problem is that most girls on Tinder are gonna want to fuck on the first date, or at least feel some sexual energy/desire from you. It's not exclusively a hookup app anymore but the crowd of girls it typically attracts are def gonna want you to be sexual pretty quick, if you're not they'll get bored or weirded out It also sounds like you've been consuming a lot of theory. I would recommend you stop that and just try to follow your instincts a bit more for the time being. When you go on dates with girls, let yourself feel horny for them while you're sitting across the table from them. Literally look into her eyes and let her face and body turn you on. This brings you into the moment , and she'll feel the sexual energy from you without you even having to say anything to her. This puts you in the right frame of mind for a date, where you wanna be communicating man and woman I would also recommend that you rely less on Tinder though. Like I said, I did alright too, but the quality of women there can sometimes be questionable. And I started to enjoy meeting girls in real life way way more. It also grows you a lot. I used Tinder as a crutch because I was kinda socially anxious which isn't great, even if you can actually get dates from Tinder

These are still cold approaches. I agree that it feels far more natural because they are in social environments but you're still approaching out of nowhere which makes it cold. Typically I agree with you that I think cold approaching in public during the day is nuisance behaviour unless you are really good at it You have to be good enough that your cold approaches out in public feel like a warm approach, you have to be able build trust very quickly and so on. Ironically this is not most of the people who start out doing pickup. I think if you are not a particularly social person and not very calibrated when you start out, then you should absolutely be starting at clubs/bars/parties because you get so much more leeway for mistakes there Or if you have balls of steel and live in a big place then by all means take the trial by fire approach and do spam approaches during the day, there's def value to it I don't know what you're trying to prove tbh, frankly if you have to say how great your game is compared to someone else and try to diminish their results then I'm going to assume you're insecure as fuck and trying to prove something.

Making proper in-field girls talking to girls is probably a fucking nightmare in terms of PR risk so I wouldn't expect much more than that. It's pretty clear in one of them he goes home with the girl so I'm not sure what more you want anyway

If you got 40 dates in half a year you're doing something right and you have zero reason to be hopeless. However you're also doing something catastrophically wrong if you've gone on 40 dates and they've gone nowhere. Frankly I have no idea how you could manage to go on 40 dates and not get laid on even 1 of them.... It seems like you'd actually have to actively try not to get laid in 1 out of 40 dates... If a girl goes on a date with you it means she'd be willing to fuck you. Have you ever even tried to lead a girl to have sex on any of your dates? Women want to have sex. Women enjoy sex too. Women enjoy playful sexual conversation and flirting. Women enjoy it when you escalate. You shouldn't be scared of these things. But frankly the only reason I can think of that you haven't got laid out of 40 dates is that you're not even trying to have sex with the girl I'm being aggressive here, but frankly I think the way I'm wording this should convey that there is probably a very small change you could make that would start to get you results because you already have the exposure to girls and that's 90% of the difficulty done. The next date you go on just try and escalate no matter what

You can, there's vids of him out in Vegas on his blog

I've told people the same thing before 'just go outside and talk to girls', but it's usually to the guys who are asking a fuck ton of questions and also taking zero action what so ever. A lot of guys also have a good amount of trauma/fear/anxiety in that area and just reading discussion about what you practically need to do, where you need to go, a rough outline of what to expect, even just some encouragement, can be helpful to those guys. As long as they are also taking action at the same time It's only a problem when they're sitting at home doing nothing and asking a fuck ton of questions on here, which is not the case with OP of this thread

"No one here can help you except me, all the advice you see on this forum is wrong. But now I'm going to say all the same things Leo and other guys on this forum have been saying for ages and you should listen to me instead" – basically what you're saying Like your advice is good but why add all the extra toxic garbage in there lol

Yea that’s exactly how guys are gonna feel when you tell them approaching girls is easy Especially as a girl who’s never had to do it

You prob made the right decision. Any doubts you have would have compounded over time, and eventually you would have begun to feel like you were trapped in the relationship. Or that there are experiences you’re missing out on Doesn’t make it any easier, though

I remember watching a Charisma on Command video about this, where his advice was essentially to ask extremely high quality questions to people who are 'above' you for lack of a better term. He used the 'Hot Ones' interview channel on YT as an example of this. The presenter is known for asking particularly high quality questions of guests. The gist of it IIRC is that by asking high quality questions you give the person you perceive as above you a chance to express themselves deeply in ways that they usually can't I don't know how well that would translate into day to day life outside of an interview situation but I thought it was an interesting perspective nonetheless. I might be entirely misremembering the video but feel free to go looking for it lol

I went the lowest age range possible, <=24. I remember someone else mentioning somewhere that they did some testing and older women (on photofeeler) were even more likely to respond better to smiles and nice guy pics than the lower age range girls which responded more to player type pics, also kinda interesting. But also anecdotal I went with usually 5-6 pics, with one or two smiling/nice guy pics and the rest either action pics or highly rated 'more intense' pics. Too many intense pics is bad I think but I found I got good results with an intense pic first and then softening that up with some more fun/playful pics in the rest of the profile Perhaps on photofeeler you don't get an opportunity to soften up the intense pic with some more playful ones and so that gets you lower ratings on intense pics. That would make sense Nah you just have to be careful to not let tinder make your profile pics look like ass. I prefer Bumble in a lot of ways since it doesn't do that. Anyway, take my word for it and don't go through all this horrible Tinder optimisation I went through and just go outside

I agree with everything you said, I just found it funny because you don't know how hard it is or isn't because you've never done it It would be like me telling you that putting on makeup is easy

You can get them viewed by women only for free. It just takes time and a little effort. If you are diligent in rating other people's photos you can get your own photo fully rated (at least 15+ votes, ideally 30) in about a day Some musings about photofeeler based on spending too much time optimising a Tinder profile: Photofeeler is interesting because I notice that there is a heavy bias of girls on there towards the 'nice guy' pics where you smile, and you'll often be slightly penalised for the more intense pics. However on Tinder I notice that my intense (no smile) pics often did a lot better I don't really know what causes this tbh, different crowd of girls perhaps Another thing I learnt on photofeeler is that depending on photo quality I'm either a 4 or a 9 And finally, a very small change in a pic can make a ridiculous difference in outcome. In some cases just zooming in slightly would take the pic from a 6 to an 8. And in other cases changing the lighting slightly with editing would create a similar result. The reason this is interesting is that Tinder fucks with your pics a whole lot when you upload them, it blurs them a lot and it also zooms and crops as it pleases. Given how much of an effect this can have on photofeeler it's potentially affecting you on Tinder as well, assuming you already have a reasonably well optimised profile

Lol

Yea this is such a hard step. I've made so many acquaintances in the past year but actually converting them into deeper friendships is super hard. Some people seem to be able to do this super easily and I envy the crap out of them lol In terms of meeting lots of new people I find that pretty easy. Just fill up your week nights with activities/hobbies if you work a 9-5 and go party at the weekends. It gets you into the routine of meeting new people frequently and as a plus it keeps your mind busy

Just cos you can't make it work doesn't mean there's a problem with cold approach as a whole. How do you think the average guy gets a GF? Girls certainly don't approach guys, and someone's gotta initiate If you are socially calibrated it works great. Especially in places like a club, you can cold approach every girl in the place and be totally fine Yea during the day you gotta be a bit more careful

This is pretty much what all people want in the end. But the problem is that it's so hard to tell whether you want this with any given person before you've spent a considerable amount of time with them and also a considerable amount of time with others so you know what you do/dont want. And even then, things change between people over time. That's why I personally prefer a more relaxed approach to relationships where you feel things out over time rather than going balls deep immediately, but of course each to their own I'm not saying it's impossible, but you should realise that this is not something that is easy to find and it will probably take you a lot of work. You're essentially looking for someone who is genuinely willing to commit to you for the rest of their life after only a few months right? Such guys are not the norm. It goes against our biological nature and you should def be aware of that if it's what you're looking for. Don't blame the guy for it either, we are not always so willing to commit to long term things easily because it comes at enormous cost to us Anyway, I don't wanna derail this thread anymore, I've said what I want to say

This all sounds like it's based in personal trauma, dating in the west is not anywhere near as extreme as this. There are plenty of trusting and loving relationships in Western cultures too Again, this happens in Indian marriages too to an extent, they just stay together because divorce is less acceptable, right? According to stats only 1% of marriages get divorced there, but 50-60% result in at least one partner cheating! That's fucking bonkers No matter what culture, it seems like 50-60% of marriages just straight up don't work out, even if they start with good intentions Again, it's not like committed, healthy, loving relationships are impossible in Western culture. We are just more hesitant about going balls deep into new relationships because it can be very costly I think the solution for you is still just going to be exposure to more girls. You have to talk to as many new girls as you possibly can until eventually you learn how to attract the girls of whatever culture you're in. If you talk to lots of girls it also makes you feel far more capable and far less inferior to others

India sounds like a nightmare for guys dating based on everything I’ve read about it And it sounds awful for girls too. Dating in general sounds hard there. I’ve heard horror stories from both sides Maybe nightmare is too strong a word but it sounds like there are many expectations placed on both men and women and many many pitfalls

That might actually be worse lol Is it normal in your culture to tell girls you barely know that you love them? Fine if it is, but it just seems super strange to me

I know it’s probably a culture thing… but why are you proposing to girls at 21. I can’t get my head around that

It’s meant to encourage you to be authentic, but in practice people give that advice when they really have no idea what advice to actually give you