something_else

What is coming?

Daddy in a sexual context just makes me laugh. I can't take it seriously. Calling a girl mommy as a joke is pretty funny though, I've done it.

As in it ignores the physical strength differential between a typical man and woman? Yea, perhaps I should have specified big burly bears I think it’s still one of the easiest things for most men to imagine that conveys roughly the kind of emotional state that women often experience with strange men approaching them, but yes it does miss out on the power differential.

It sucks to be born into a country where you have little control or freedom. I understand that, and the irony of how harsh I’m being about his lack of empathy is that I lack a degree of empathy for his situation myself. So you’re right in that I’m probably being too harsh. At the same time, it’s hard to excuse the amount of shit talking towards women. Calling them dumb animals and whatever else. Look dude, I know you’re frustrated and I’m being quite harsh on you, but nothing you’re thinking or doing right now is going to help your situation. It’s only making it worse. I know you want someone to tell you that you’re right, that all women are evil and dumb and that’s why they don’t want to date you. But that’s unfortunately not true, no matter how comforting it would be for you to hear that. And I’m not gaslighting you by telling you I enjoy talking to women. I have more female friends than male friends. Women are great company, but they are inherently distrustful of strange men for valid reasons. Denying that reality is only going to dig you into a deeper hole. Accept it and find ways to work with it. Pickup is sub-optimal dating strategy in many ways, even more so in a highly conservative country. If you don’t have a solid social circle of friends and a decent social life, I’d start by building that before focusing all of your effort into solo cold approach pickup. If you’re out with friends a few times per week in social places you’ll naturally meet women who will be far more trusting of you than the random girls you’re talking to when you’re on your own. Hopefully that will improve your view of women, which will in turn help you connect with them and date them much more easily.

I was asking you to imagine how you’d feel if they did violate your boundaries regularly, because that’s what many men do to women. I’m not saying gay men are actually like this 🙄 I find women very enjoyable to talk to, in fact often more than men on average. So this might be a you problem rather than a woman problem. And seeing how you’re talking about women here just makes me think it’s a you problem even more.

@Majed The bitterness is not helping you. Fix your life situation, build up your social circle, drop the bitterness surrounding women, and you’ll be doing much better in the dating department.

You lack empathy for women. Imagine that throughout your life a total of 20 gay guys had come up to you randomly and started touching you. Or aggressively hitting on you, not taking no for an answer. Making you very uncomfortable, telling you they want to pound your ass after talking to you for 5 seconds. Are you going to trust the 21st gay guy? Probably not, you’d probably be understandably cautious. This is roughly what women experience. Women are bombarded with unwanted and unexpected sexual advances from men their entire lives, so the risk to reward ratio calculation her brain is doing when a random dude starts talking to her is not in your favour. To balance that out, you need to build trust and show that your reward is worth her risk.

Everybody is different. Some people like casual sex, some don’t. Sometimes people are for or against it for the wrong reasons, like repression. But many just have preferences one way or the other.

You don’t really. The vast majority of men will never approach 100 women in their life, let alone 1000. Yet the majority of men will still find a partner. Because most women don’t have any reason to trust a random man trying to talk to her on the street, but many reasons to fear him. You need to put yourself in women’s shoes to understand why they act the way they do instead of taking this bitter attitude and claiming they’re all wrong or rude or disrespectful. The exact inverse of your point here would be a woman saying something like….. “And honestly these days men are just so disrespectful. Like you’re just going about your day and they pester you and won’t leave you alone. Like just why?” Now notice the emotional reaction you have to that, and imagine a woman reading your comment. She is probably having almost exactly the same emotional reaction.

It's a systems thinking model, it's theoretical by nature. My point is very practical though, embodied Stage yellow understands why people act the way they do and realises that other stages are necessary for human development, hence feeling compulsive frustration towards them should start secede. If that isn't happening, someone claiming to be Tier 2 should reflect on why that is.

I'm just stating one of the defining characteristics of tier 2 under the spiral dynamics model. By its definition it's quite a flexible system and there are always exceptions to the rules. I'm sure stage yellow people still get frustrated with others sometimes, it's natural. But I think if you find yourself being constantly irritated by people you consider of lower development, it may be time to re-evaluate how Tier 2 you really are, and whether being Tier 2 is just something you identify with rather than something you actually embody. It's quite easy to look at a description of Stage Yellow and think "yes, I think this is correct and represents my values and ideals therefore I am tier 2" without actually doing the work to embody those values. If fully embodied, under the spiral dynamics model, you shouldn't really be feeling frustration towards those from stages further down the spiral, as the whole point of tier 2 is that you understand the whole model and why people of certain stages act the way they do. Frustration and anger become Stage Red tools you can call upon when necessary rather than something the world or those in it make you feel regularly.

One of the defining characteristics of being tier 2 is that people lower on the spiral don't trigger you that much, because you understand why they are acting the way they are. If you're being severely irritated by behaviour that's characteristic of lower stages, say stage green, it's possible that irritation is not coming from a Tier 2 place.

Talking fast can be engaging, but it can also come across as erratic, especially to someone random you just met. Conversely, talking slow can come across as confident and clam, but also boring. Its depends entirely on your energy and what you’re communicating, for some people talking fast works, for others talking slow. If anything I have an issue with talking too quickly to people.

12/50

There's plenty to say in a work setting. Chat with your colleagues, learn to small talk and connect with people. They don't have to become friends, but at least try to build some kind of connection. It benefits you too, you'll find your career advances much quicker when you build relationships with colleagues.

then don't start arguments on a forum lmao

This is basically saying "my arguments don't stand on their own, so I need charisma and manipulation to make people believe them"

Yes! I get those comfortable energy flows too, especially when combined with a cup of tea. Elvanse and a little caffeine create this serene state that doesn't feel like a high, just an ability to be fully present. I could be present before, but it always came with an underlying sense of fear. I'd developed this association between being present and making stupid mistakes, so being fully in the moment felt almost dangerous. Now I can experience that same feeling without making those mistakes. It also feels much easier to enter the flow state that, before medication, would strike randomly and inconsistently. Sometimes the flow is almost too powerful though, and I find myself stuck on something long after I know I should have moved on. I don't really notice the medication itself anymore. There's no obvious "Oh, it's kicking in" moment like there was during the first month. But the effects are still incredibly noticeable when I compare my life now to how it was before taking it.

Ehm, this is a bizarre take. Almost every argument is easier to express cleanly in written form than spoken form.

The reason for this is that humans always want what they see that others have, but they don't have. It's all relative. Humans have always been this way and likely will be for a long time to come. If you took a hunter gatherer or a caveman, they'd look at a snapshot of modern life and think: "How can you be struggling to survive when you can source all the food you could ever want by walking 5 minutes to a supermarket round the corner? And you have unlimited clean water pumped directly into your house?? And all you have to do for this is type on a computer all day???? And you still feel like you're lacking??? What is wrong with you, you have everything you could ever need to be happy." Yet we are not happy. The same would be true between now and say 100 years time in the world you are imagining and calling "post scarcity". There will still be things that are scarce. Just different things. And we would look at that world and think "You have a device that can produce anything material you could ever want for zero effort? Perfect health with zero effort?? And all you have to do is cash in your government distributed tokens which you get for zero effort???? And you still feel like you're lacking??? What is wrong with you, you have everything you could ever need to be happy." Yet I would bet a large amount of money they are not happy. Because their frame of reference views those things as normal and not special or valuable. Whatever is scarce at that time will become desirable. Maybe it's power, freedom, happiness itself, spiritual achievement, expression of oneself. A slightly more capable device that produces all material goods 10% faster. Who knows. It could be anything. But it will be something. There will still be some kind of hierarchy, and there will still be those who are at the bottom of it, and those who are at the top of it. As the hierarchy becomes shorter, like it may in such a world, small differences will start to matter more and more. It's also very possible that genetics and who your family is will become the defining source of value a person has to offer, which would not be a good world. As though that's the only luxury in the modern world? And besides that, try living somewhere with limited hot showers for a month. Suddenly they start to seem a whole lot more valuable and you start realising how much you took your hot shower at home for granted. I have experienced exactly this while trekking in places where cold showers are basically all that's available, except a few scarce places that charge you $10 for a solar powered hot shower. How can you know this for certain? Certainly about this is at best unwise and arguably delusion. There is no way to know how this would go. Maybe it will be beautiful. Or maybe it will cause a massive increase in obesity, depression, drug addiction and short term pleasure chasing. Maybe many humans will go insane when there is no purpose provided, or no obvious path to take in life. And maybe even those who do have a purpose or drive will find that there is no way for them to compete with the tech owned by those at the top of the hierarchy. Maybe AI will kill us all first. There are so many ways this could go which are not a happy ending. In a world like this, those at the bottom of the hierarchy could be viewed by those at the top like you view fruit flies in your kitchen. A minor inconvenience that can be removed with a small amount of effort. Not caring about something and having the power to eradicate it once it causes minor inconvenience is a very dangerous world.

This is just not how the human mind works. If everyone has everything they want, the hedonistic treadmill kicks in and suddenly you get bored of having everything, and you start wanting whatever it is other people have that you don't have. And there will always be something others have that you don't. For example if you took cavemen and showed them the modern world, they'd wonder what the fuck we're all so unhappy about because everything is amazing, luxurious and so easy. They'd probably argue we're already in a post-scarcity world. Yet we're all still pretty miserable on average because everyone else around us has the same luxuries and we all still want whatever it is that's just out of our reach. The caveman would look at people buying a £20k handbag and think they were fucking insane idiots. In a post-scarcity world we may end up with bizarre things becoming desirable because there will always be things that are more scarce than others. If literally everything material becomes immediately available to you, then the people who own whatever tech makes that possible hold an insane amount of power that other people don't have. Which means there is still lack, and scarcity. Just in a different form. There will be a post-scarcity equivalent of the 20k handbag. That also assumes that in a post-scarcity world there is any reason to keep most of the population around, which beyond "it's the ethical thing to do", there is no logical reason to.

Competent, emotionally engaging, dresses well, looks good, good hygeine, has things going on in his life, has purpose, has friends / is sociable.

Yea, I've heard this a few times from friends who took methylphenidate first. Personally I found it completely fine, but for many it has strong side effects. All of those friends found elvanse much MUCH smoother. I'd recommend trying it out. Basically the only side effect I have left from Elvanse is slightly diminished sleep quality. But I started taking it 4 months ago or so, and just a few days ago in my catchup with my boss (who doesn't know I have been diagnosed with adhd) he specifically said to me "your work in the past 3 or so months has been exceptional" and I'm now being offered a promotion. So it has genuinely been life changing. The biggest thing I notice is that I can now build momentum, which is the key to success in most areas of life. Previously at work I'd have a good month, then a bad month, then a few good months, then a few bad months. Never consistently improving. And I'd make the same mistakes over and over. Now I feel like each month I am actually getting better because I'm much more consistent. And I don't make the same mistakes more than once. I also have the mental bandwidth to do things beyond the bare minimum of what's required from me.

Nah, you should expect some euphoria when you first start taking stimulants. It usually lasts about 1-3 weeks.

Lol, I can't imagine how bad the chemicals inside a glowstick are for you. That cannot be healthy