WelcometoReality

@Nadosa Everything you have told us are perfectly normal on the path. These realizations have caused all kinds of unconscious stuff to emerge which is great. It might not feel great. You might even feel like shit but no worries it will get better, it always does. You might not feel like meditating or being present. Let yourself do whatever you feel like doing. Eventually you'll see that you are just delaying the inevitable.

@Joseph Maynor Thank you. Reminds me of cult of luna.

You say your brain/body. Who/what is that which has a brain/body. By saying that you are implying that you are separate from your body/mind right? If you were to shoot yourself in the head the body/mind would stop working but would you cease to exist? Let's conclude that we don't know what's going to happen after death for now. You can't kill yourself. But you can't take my word for it so that doesn't help you does it? Again what is it that has a brain/body? Yes there is an intimate relationship with the brain/body but is that what you truly are? If you can see the brain/body then that can't ultimately be you can it? Because what is it that sees the brain/body then? It's not that the perceptions doesn't exist it is just not what you truly are. The illusion is the identification with the body-mind not the body-mind itself. You can answer these questions yourself by looking into your own experience. What is that me that has an awareness? Does it exist? Search for that me. That is the first step.

Glad to hear that. I would start there and see where it takes you. It certainly changed things for me to surrender to every experience and it can be applied everywhere.

@Max_V So your mood is dependent of the outcomes of life. Perfectly normal wouldn't you say? It's fine to be depressed, happy, sad or whatever mood your in. The key though is to let yourself be in that state. What is it that is resisting the depression? Whichever state you are experiencing right now, that is the perfect state. What you really are is already here and it is unconditionally loving to every experience. What is it that becomes unsettled by "bad" experiences.

Yes that is the falling away of personal will and it can be quite a challenge. I have no good advice for you except just let it happen. Don't let your life fall apart too much. Some things just need to be done whether the desire to do them is there or not. Just do it!

@Pure Imagination If your biggest drive is to know truth finding it is inevitable. Most does not however. They value comfort and security more so they can't find it. Any discomfort experienced will make them crawl back to their secure box.

@Alexo45 My guess is that everyone here is having the same problem. Telling people they are in the matrix is like banging your head against a brick wall. It can only give you a headache. That is the only logical outcome. I know, sometimes you just want to share your experiences. I have done that too but people will just never understand. All it does is risking your relationship with that person. Is it really worth it? What you can do is share with us here. We'll be glad to hear about your progress and awesome experiences.

@Nadosa if possible do several 20 minutes meditation sessions through out the day. When you start feeling like you are going unconscious do some meditation to ground yourself. It might be hard to do depending on work etc. Look into some mindfulness exercises that can be done at any time.

@cetus56 You have? I'd never dare that. And why complicate things?

@cetus56 Maybe a 2 week dark room retreat?

@Principium Nexus Yes, I experience the same thing. It started with distant sounds like a far away train feeling like it happened inside me. It developed later to all sound and then sight. I think you are right. Less identification with the body makes it appear like that.

Yeah it can be illusiory if it is done to get somewhere. True practice gets you closer to right now. Closing the gap as they say.. I'd ransack myself to see what intentions are there. Or maybe these doubts of yours bubble up because your practice is working and ego is feeling threatened?

@Voyager @cetus56 This post also has some great information on this topic.

You're not making up a concept. That's the real deal. Something observing something else is separation. Reality has no boundries, it is one, so if there is experience of separation that is still not the truth.

You think it's understanding what's happening that will get you out of it but it's letting go of that which want to know and want to get out of it that will get you out of it. In other words let yourself be stuck in it. Allow yourself to be completely lost. Don't try to fight it or get out of it. Experience it fully. It can't hurt that which you truly are.

Is there seem any distance between the observer and the observed?

This is ego separating itself from parts of itself. Is the observing state a "doing"? Is there something favoring this observing state from any other state?

Yes it's easy to have these wonderful open moments to experience. First of all recognize that that is what's going on. That your mind is spewing out these thoughts. Why is it doing that? Hint: Past conditioning. It's been taught to spew it out. Don't hate it for that, it is just doing what it's been programmed to do. Now when you recognize that is what's going on you don't need to listen to it. I advice you not to. Do something that takes your attention of your mind and into reality. Meaning your senses. Workout, go for a walk, do the dishes any physical activity. And when the mind has stopped spewing give yourself a good pat on the back for doing the activity and breaking the cycle of negative thoughts, say it out loud. Good work! The last part is important to do even if it might feel silly to. But it only feels silly because your mind has been taught not to give itself credit. To not accept compliments. So give it some time to adjust to this new way.

Do you want to know what the truth is or do you want to believe what others are saying? If it's the later then that's fine, you can just continue with your life as usual. Nothing wrong with that because it's all one, even being stuck in illusion.

Do you really know that? It's not as much something you do, it's more a giving up the knowing. You see it's futility. You can't know anything and you can't do anything and you surrender to that. Or more accurately surrender happens when the gift of not knowing is presented to you.

This YOU that you talk about.. What would you call yourself? What is experiencing? Is there any distance between the thing you are experiencing and yourself? You say that it starts to exist out of nowhere but where is this nowhere?

@Thisisit I've had social anxiety and depression from my mid teen years mid twenties. Great that you have taken your first steps toward resolving your problems. The recipe for success is rather simple but also very hard to do. That is facing your fears, go out in public, have conversations with people. Feel awkward and judged. Do this daily and in a way that triggers light to moderate amounts of fear and anxiety. Make sure to reward yourself for the effort you put into this. You can message me if you have any questions or just want to talk to someone whos been in your situation. Cheers

Confusion is good because it shows that you are open for truth. Embrace the confusion instead of searching for answers because what is it that wants to know? Just let the fear of not knowing and the confusion be, they are not problems you need to fix.

It's only frightening if you think about it isn't it? Yes be in that state always and see what happens imo.