Godishere

@Mason Riggle@Shin So thoughts appear to nobody or no self, the thought "human" appears within consciousness to me(which is actually nothing). I (or whatever this is) has the thought that you have an identity and also have thoughts appearing?

Yeah ok ok, so I'm literally just fooling myself into the belief of a human self and others? My question is rather, how do other egos/selfs believe they're selfs when God awakens? I, God, take psychedelic and awaken as itself, formless consciousness. But what about you and everyone else? Or is this just a complete fantasy?

@Inliytened1 still 'here' 'we' are discussing it? ?

@Javfly33 Leo can help you to get on the path of awakening. But everything he says are concepts! And it's very easy to turn awakening into concepts, it's what the ego will do to try understand infinity. I fell into this trap. "I am God" is true in the ultimate sense, but these are just meaningless words, you could literally say anything. It has to be directly realized, never thought of. It becomes apparent why psychedelic experiences are useful but not the complete solution when you know that they will be turned into concepts.

So I just had what I would consider the most horrific experience of my entire life/construct. My first time having a "bad trip" I guess you could say. I'm left wanting absolutely nothing to do with enlightenment and spirituality. God Realization is fucking terrifying and I want my old life back. I'm feeling completely shook and terrified of psychedelics now. What to do? All I know is that during this entire trip I was crying to myself "it's too much" and "I don't want enlightenment anymore" and I meant it. I would seriously question your intentions with awakening and ask why you are doing it in the first place. Your life is already perfection in every sense of the word and I mean that. Awakening is not this glamorous thing as it's portrayed. It's actually the last thing you want.

@Nahm you're right man. Who am I kidding? Haha. I guess the biggest reason I'm rambling was and is my fear of going back and facing that state again(because psychedelics have been so transformative for me). And yeah, I appreciate that bro. I'll drop all the nonsense and concepts, they are no longer valid within my direct experience and that is the truth. The journey continues.

Exactly. As you said in your DM, I hope you don't mind but this needs to be illuminated. "I was not scared of death, I was not begging for my life. I felt as though God was begging through me to hide this infinity from itself." This is exactly what happened to me. But as you can see in the thread, people seem to think that this is ego induced and maybe it is, I'm not sure. I have an intuitive feeling it's the final step toward liberation. It's either that or Mahasamadhi and I don't know if I want to find out haha. I think that either people haven't experienced it or it's not spoken of. @Inliytened1@Leo Gura @Nahm

@Breakingthewall well it's one thing to conceptualize "nothing is real" or "everything is a construction of consciousness and mind", but the second that actually hits you(ego or not), it's horror because there is no one for you left to lean on. There is no Leo. No friend. No one. Just consciousness, infinity and apparently a fragmented ego. For example, I use to see people saying things about God and Love and think to myself "this person is not awake". Untill it hits you, YOU are not awake. There are definitely levels of "awakeness" and I'm starting to consider the possibility that maybe some of you haven't actually reached that level. Keep in mind, I have been on the spiritual journey for some years and had many trips(30 give or take) and as I've said I've awoken many times(all beautiful experiencs). On the other hand, you are all just me, so you have in that sense. How could it be any other way? God is singular and all dualities collapse and that is what I've discovered. Anyways, I'm back in duality now and I trust that God wouldn't show me this for no reason. Although reason seems to be dualistic so who knows. I'm gonna make some materialistic gains and work on a meditation practice untill I'm ready to surrender to God again and face this voidI resist.

Suffering is there to keep you asleep in my experience. It's just part of the infinite dream; sensations you buy into as real and to keep a sense of self.

@Ry4n I obviously don't know where you're at in your journey but to be clear this was not my first awakening, I've had plenty of non dual states before and many insights into Love, bliss, oneness, God consciousness, nothingness etc but just not to this level. At this level, you feel insane because you're so conscious that nothing is real that everything loses all meaning. I'm not sure what would have happened if I faced this infinite horror but it was just too much for me. In my mind I thought that this life would be up. That if I became that conscious that nothing was real, life would become meaningless, so I distracted myself from going any further and as I said, begged for my life/the illusion back. People can say whatever they want about solipsism, but at that level, there is no other. Which means right now, there is no other, I'm just buying into the fact that you're me in "another lifetime". The bizzare thing to think is that whoever reads this, will experience this cosmic horror, as you are me. You are me.

@Jakuchu I'm not sure, but I was completely alone and conscious of my aloneness and I did NOT like it. I've had awakenings prior to this where I become infinite love and it was beautiful. I'm not sure why my ego reacted this way on this particular trip. It was like all awakenings were child's play compared to that level of consciousness. It really felt lie infinite aloneness. Not infinite love.. I'm scared of psychedelics now which is guttering. It's crazy when you are panicking that much but you know that no one can calm you down because everyone is imaginary.

You are though what's the difference apart from your idea there's a difference. The difference is something your creating, you're just putting the limit on yourself. You can imagine anything, including the limits. I don't think you have fully grasped the oneness of what you are, which is a beautiful thing

The difference between a dream and real life is a concept and construction of your mind. The will of the other characters is your will, as I said your just not conscious of it. You don't want to realize this because your singular and alone. Your will is that you don't have will.

@WokeBloke you are all of it. You're just not conscious of it and for a good reason, you don't want to be.

What's everyone's thoughts on a will? As in, a legal declaration for your estate after you 'die'. Yes, I know death is iMaGiNarY.

Psychedelics will reveal all of your lies. Everything you just listed is completely imaginary. So yes. Don't do psychedelics if you want to still believe you're real, I completely agree.

It's the alone part that gets me. It's too much my ego to handle. I don't know how others have dealt with it. I see alot of people of this forum playing hide and seek with themselves. Awakened. Asleep. Awakened. Asleep. It's just so backwards though.

Thank you for sharing. For me, It was and is the Realization I am God. And that no one was there to bring me back to reality because I was too conscious that I am everything. "It's all one" sounds fine and dandy. But for that to actually hit you at that level is just something else. It has completely shook me to the core.@BenG yeah I understand where your coming from, but I'll be alone in my own thoughts. Key word alone, is really the last place I wanna be. I'm done with the contemplation, just happy to live a good life. It's just too much consciousness for my ego to handle. I like the game of life and mystery to it, I purposely designed it that way.

All states are enlightenment. More importantly Enlightenment is NOT being enlightened. How the fuck did I not see this untill it was too late.

@Moksha after contemplating what you said, yes I do believe that the cosmos dies with 'me'. I am the entire cosmos, it exists right here, held within my consciousness including the duality and distinctions of here/there, life/death. I can become infinitely conscious and "poof" the entire cosmos disappears. Now that doesn't mean I can't imagine it again and if I was an all loving entity then it seems like a pretty good world to imagine. This doesn't conflate with the validity of your consciousness or existence and of course at some point in eternity its wise to say I would imagine your life. However we can only assume, these are all assumptions. What happens after the physical death of the body is always going to be an assumption just like what will happen tomorrow. Honestly, I think your missing something, because if you ask this same question in a 'state' of unity and oneness you will clearly see this is all that exists! Everything is a projection, which means as God you are alone. Now, what 'difference' is there between one state that reveals this unity and one that does not? Nothing! The difference is nothing. Anyways, I'm not a fool (or am I?), I endeavour to treat others as if they are me in the next life and I try to live as conscious as possible in that regard. Once you discover the Truth or at least aspects of it, scriptures and teachings can become a hinderence on the path; call me arrogant but a psychedelic will teach more than any scripture. I can only validate or falsisfy what's true for myself and this is clearly the best way to progress at this level. With respect to Bhagavad Gita, one could easily argue he's pointing at Self Realization as the fabric of reality and the expansion of awareness. To conclude, I will still point to direct experience or Awareness. The thoughts are just assumptions and I'm not saying this from a solipsistic, nihilistic POV. I am Just stating what is directly True in my experience. Please, feel free to deconstruct my understanding and critique my development, I'm sure there's alot I'm still yet to become conscious of.

@Moksha interesting. I'm also not discrediting your existence or the entire cosmos. In saying that, I do have to point out that you're also conceptualizing. Obviously I have a will, it was just a question on what other expressions of the infinite 'thought' about the matter. If I state the obvious(for me), right now I am conscious. 'I'(Self) am also conscious that I am all that exists in this particular dream. Yes, the 'dream' or whatever you call consciousness continues, we can confirm that(Non-duality). However, my self/ego has no control on what 'I', consciousness decides to dream/imagine next(or however you would like to describe the passing of this particular body). The last thing I would like to do is mislead myself/others, so feel free to critique my understanding of consciousness and awakening. I do realize that the concept of solipsism is a misunderstanding of the human mind. But if we expand our identity to God consciousness, in my 'experience' Solipsism would be considered true from that perspective. Of course these are just concepts and ideas as I'm rationalizing from a limited state of consciousness. I do know Truth is lost in language and if you think I'm narcissistic fair play to you. I'll go back to the drawing board and see what's Absolutely True for myself, which is obviously the plan anyway.

Good question. Let me know if you ever find an answer other than it just IS.

Forget all the activities. Just sit/or lie there by yourself and contemplate what is reality or what am I? A really good one is "Leo's guided exercise to God meditation". That will really strip away the layers. Sometimes some light music helps... I like chillstep, relaxing music and Chinese meditation music but I guess it's a preference. Whatever helps you think less and feel more! It can be helpful to change your scenery now again also. But definitely, definitely eliminate all distractions. You wanna basically let the trip take over and forget about what's going on around you. If you go deep enough, you might discover that there were no surroundings ?

Anyone who has experienced awakenings on both of these chemicals, could you please shed some light on what similarities and differences you found between the two? I've had many awakenings into what I would consider "God consciousness" on LSD but haven't yet tried 5meo or regular DMT. I want to know if it's worth making the trip over to SA to one of these retreats/ceremonies. From my limited experience I've been making great progress on LSD alone so I'm in no rush but of course the curiosity is still there!

@decentralized it's paradoxical because in one sense It doesn't improve your life. Why would it? In another, it somewhat frees you because you realize there is no 'you'. This specific insight is tied deeply with Self Realization/No self in my 'experience'.