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  1. Thanks for this - but from what I can gather, in the process of permanently awakening from “natural’ awakening without psychedelics, these seeings *are* supposed to be permanently realised, in contrast with a chemical which at least you know is temporary.
  2. Yes this exactly, fear of it being permanent & not being able to handle it.
  3. I’m happy to use psychedelics, in fact I’m about to start seriously using mushrooms with a guide to clear trauma. So not against them at all, it’s just that I had this without them as a part of waking up through meditation practice alone. Why do I want to awaken is a difficult one. I’m driven to it to get over fear of death & I feel it’s something that needs to be done for me or I’ll be disappointed with my life. Maybe that’s not the best reasons, I have a desire for truth too, but a lot of fear in the process. A teacher in my youth put the fear of god into me regarding waking up.
  4. I was grokking this without any psychedelics. I have a feeling as it’s through my normal waking up process, from practice not drugs, that it is likely to be a more permanent change. This is what’s scary as it means things aren’t real in the way I thought they were - big shift. I’ll have to face and accept that as it’s a part of waking up. All I’m looking for is a way to transition more easily. i.e. how quickly does it get easy over time etc. And does this mean you lose the perceived reality of your family etc? I didn’t go into it for long enough to find that out, it was just a flash. But I was seeing that the sink was just my perception so it lost all its reality as a ‘thing’.
  5. I just finished listening to @Leo Gura’s excellent video ‘what is actuality’. I’m fairly rooted in the present anyway, due to doing meditation. All the same, I got a lot out of the video - I stayed with only being in reality. Then I pondered that everything is consciousness. I happened to be looking at the bathroom sink & I got a flash that the sink was just consciousness. That flash was scary as it would totally take away the reality of how I see things, so I recoiled (not by choice). In the moment I thought I might actually get psychologically damaged in some way if I were suddenly stuck fully immersed in that seeing. I think to go fully into that understanding would be a huge loss and difficult change. Is there a way to make this process easier, and is there anything anyone can say that would be a light at the end of the tunnel when this happens?
  6. I saw this solution before on the forum, I think it must have been you. I’m gutted I can’t do this, mdma triggers my epilepsy. Thanks for the input, though, much appreciated.
  7. :):) I'm thinking perhaps a good while with 'standard' psychedelics like LSD/Mushrooms to clear trauma/shadow stuff, then 5-meo down the line for the transcendent experience. Doing my first mushroom trip in 20 years in a couple of weeks with a psychedelic coach to learn proper preparation & integration.. 5-meo one day perhaps. Maybe by then someone will find a way to make it less terrifying/dangerous. Or perhaps another more approachable substance that does the same job.
  8. @Sincerity Wrote a great post the other say in a similar thread, coincidentally: "It's gonna be much harder. But not impossible. (btw, define enlightened) I guess You could say it's like this: psychedelics provide understanding and groundwork provides embodiment. It's kind of theory (but experienced directly) vs practice. Both are important. Psychedelics are AMAZING for showing You what's possible, states You would never be able to access with traditional methods. Also they help open You up, help You temporarily go beyond your fears and attachments, bring stuff to the surface, all that. Without psychedelics your groundwork might be wrong, misguided, uninspired. Without groundwork You are, well, ungrounded. The theory doesn't stick in your mind and make a difference for your everyday life. It doesn't change You on a deep level. In theory You don't need psychedelics but in practice I think You do. If You want to go really far." Good response, a combo is perhaps the answer, with a very deep, dedicated meditation practice.
  9. @Breakingthewall Do you feel equanimity in all situations, untouched by change and adversity as @Jodistrict alluded to?
  10. Interesting, two different viewpoints from two who've both done a good few trips. @Breakingthewall - so do you feel this infinity in your everyday consciousness on a daily basis as a very advanced meditator would? And roughly how many times did you do it before this became a reality? And how often?
  11. Psychedelic coaches (and most others) disagree, I’d be careful if you’re doing that unless it’s microdosing. Doing even moderate doses of any psychedelic several times a week on an ongoing basis would be a very bad idea. Unless you’re talking about microdosing of course, but that wouldn’t raise conscious like meditation does.
  12. Yes but a decent amount of integration is needed in between trips so you can’t trip all the time. Meditation can be done almost continually in some form or another.
  13. Interesting, sounds like it does make a significant permanent change to your baseline consciousness, no? And does repeated use add to that cumulatively?