caspex

I did read it, really like it but never ended up applying any of it. I think I just learn the hard way.

I am on my path to achieving Self-Mastery. But I just can't for the life of me figure out how to actually achieve discipline. I believe discipline to be some function of consistency, persistence and doing things imperfectly. I have been sitting for a few hours, can't get in a few hours of study. Some days I get in 8+ hours, and other days I cannot manage even a single one. I believe that Discipline on the outside should look like, for me, getting in 8+ hours of study everyday for at least a month or so (that's what I require to achieve my goal). At first, not being able to achieve this consistency, I went through a lot of emotional labor, but it only grew me more resilient to my own guilt. All the emotional nights didn't actually improve my discipline. I don't think, at this point, it's about 'caring' about your goal. I care a lot, but all that does is make me cry myself at night to witness my incompetency. I have now grown more emotionally mature, my failures and incompetency doesn't discourage me. Which is good for discipline, but I feel I still lack something, which is why I cannot get that consistency. I believe some part of self-mastery to be able to act despite your emotions. I am so far from that. If I could act and if i could focus despite my emotions, I should've been able to get those consistency hours in. Despite all the stake in the world, and I have tried putting in high stakes and pressure on my self, and I have also tried a very relaxing approach with little to no stakes at all, I cannot achieve that Discipline. What am I doing wrong?

Hopefully this post isn't too old for me to post an update. - I have it sorted now. For the past 5 days, I have been studying for 8 hours. Today's the 6th day, already done with 4 hours. I have never studied this consistently and this is what I have been trying for so hard since the start of this year. I am so glad to have made it to the other side. I am pretty sure I just applied the BEDSM method as posted above(@Ninja_pig ), but I wasn't thinking of it while doing so. I just put my phone away, set fixed times for studying and gave myself enough leisure time to not have the day feel overwhelming. I study 6-10 (AM & PM) to get those 8 hours. I have free time from 10am - 5pm which is great for hanging out with friends, going out, following hobbies, working out or simply catching up on sleep. I think the one big thing I fixed was my mind's tendency to achieve perfection. Now, I don't care if I messed up the timings, nor do I care that I messed up the efficiency of my study, I still sit the rest of the way through. Better than not doing anything and wasting months (learnt it the hard way). Another thing that helped was reducing my expectations about how much needs to be done in a certain amount of time. I expected to cover 80-90 pages of my study material every single day (Total's about 2500 pages, i.e. 5 Books for my first subject). The truth is, I am not a machine and the study material is sometimes hard to comprehend. I lowered my expectations and that helped me get done more than if I hadn't. Now I cover about 40 - 64 pages a day and make notes alongside it. -- I do think discipline as a whole is something I haven't even touched upon yet. I can steadily sit for 8 hours a day to learn about a subject, great, but I cannot yet be disciplined enough in other domains such as fitness and dieting. I will consider it mastered the day I am able to be consistent regarding any action upon which I set my mind to. That is non-negotiable for me. That is a degree of freedom not many achieve before death. It really hits you during the 'embodiment' phase of your spiritual journey, because you really need to be healthy mentally and physically in whatever context your nature and awakening has taken place to truly embody those things and then progress further beyond. --- I read the other posts here about not going for discipline at all, being a 'passion-oriented' person (@Cred , @Riccurdo ). Maybe I am not ND enough to have that work as fast for me. If you want to call it being 'Mike Tyson' at doing boring shit then that's alright; however I view my concept of self-mastery as being so free and have such control over one's senses and mind that one is able to do anything that simply requires time and effort. For me, this notion of self-mastery stems from my need to be truly authentic. While one can define being authentic as letting your mind and personality run free and do whatever it wants, I think that idea is flawed. You are not your impulses, nor are you your emotions. You're not even your logical mind and nor are you your imagination. You are not your personality and therefore you are not your passions and interests either. While there's nothing that needs to be done to be pure consciousness and to be one with God, there is indeed a lot to be done to embody that highest love and let it run through you as if you are its vessel. I define true authenticity as embodiment of the Truth, embodiment of God. That's because that's truly what you are. I don't plan to achieve this by rejecting my personality, body, interests or passion, because that would be the same trap The Buddha fell into initially, but I do understand that one at least needs a mind that is not controlled by the senses and impulses. This is how I define achieving true self-mastery and discipline. I read the tagged post about NTs and NDs and it does seem a bit too simplified for how it really works. Discipline always has suffering in store, I don't think I have ever met somebody who could read a book and simply apply those teachings and move on the way you describe NTs. But there is definitely some truth to that post, but I will refrain from labeling myself as either ND or NT.

Yeah if you mean it correctly

I see Vishnu in everything and everything in Vishnu. The contradiction I felt initially between non-duality and bhakti has been resolved. I can verify that Bhakti leads to non-dual states regardless of what you might think. It does so primarily through the heart with no logic involved, just faith. The way it is done by Leo is through Gyana, primarily through the mind. Both work. Both lead to the same place. Bhakti probably has an edge over Gyana too in the sense that Gyana is at a greater risk of feeling dry. However, no way is superior in the sense that one is faster or if one is more dangerous, all depends on who you are. I am going to take time out and go to a few 7 day retreats this year. I must deepen this state. I don't think posting highly organized posts detailing each experience in this thread is a good idea for Bhakti. I find every prior post on this thread to be something I wouldn't have posted as I am today. I love the me who posted them still. I'll post in this thread any new things I do like what happened on a retreat or something. I am going to take a more heart centric approach. Rama

Pretty much. This is why I say 'self-mastery' specifically. I think the one thing I want to master in life is myself. Yeah you're right. But neither positive nor negative motivation worked for me. I had strong positive motivation of going on a trip with friends once a subject was complete. Didn't make it. I also let many people down by procrastinating too. That negative motivation didn't work either. I am so confused man.

For me it's been the opposite. Ever since I was a kid my instinct has been to go to the root of the issue. Looking at the big picture never really occurred to me. If I see a tree, I wanna find out where its roots are, not where it stands in reference to all the other trees, i.e. the forest. Various people have said to me, and I have received this in multiple aptitude tests, that I would be a good researcher because I seem to get hung up on one thing until I can find its root cause. But instead of setting me back in terms of metaphysical thinking and open minded discussions, it really aided me. This tendency of mine to go to the very root is what enabled me to ultimately see I am not real, that my perspectives are relative and that we are all one. I don't explicitly look for big picture connections, but because I have gone to the root of many problems, they seem to automatically connect eventually, because at its root reality itself is connected. I think Scientists' problem isn't that they don't try to see the big picture, rather it is dogma and strictness. That would hinder anybody, even those who do think big picture.

I feel I contemplate too much and act too little. If I just do it, it feels like pain. The boredom is so painful. I thought it was my dopamine receptors being fried or something, so I refrained from social media, etc. and life felt really nice, but the discipline did not arrive. I always seem to be waiting for some 'state' of mind that'll allow me to study my target. That state is all too infrequent. I doubt people who are masters of themselves need to wait for a 'state' to do what they need. I think facing that emotional labor and pain is the only way forward. That is what I am seem to be running away from. That is why I procrastinate. I will never be ready to face that pain, and never not feel that pain unless I actually go do it and get the hang of it. Maybe what it means to achieve self-mastery is to develop one's capacity to tolerate and operate under this pain.

This is precisely where I have seen growth. I don't guilt myself nor stress over the fact of not achieving my daily targets. I realized sometime ago that stressing does not help. I have been relaxed the past few days, but that doesn't seem to help me at all in my consistency. I don't expect myself to work like a machine anymore, but I must at least achieve those targets to achieve my goal. I don't want to give up on my goal. All the people I admire had this one thing in common; They could control themselves. I believe it's my duty and also my right to achieve self-mastery. Yeah, I don't really identify myself as either a lazy person or an active one. I am who I am. But my issue seems very simple. For one, I know I am mentally and physically capable of studying my target. The problem for me seems to be the inner drive. I need certainty really badly. If things don't go according to plan I give up easily. That's too much emotional tension for me. I have seen some recent improvement in this aspect, but without a plan I can't have enough faith in myself that I am working at a good pace, after all I could be doing it really slowly and not realize it until it's too late. I have been doing this for the past two months. I have had many insights regarding my own inner workings. But I am afraid it'll be too late before I achieve enough understanding to attain that discipline I need.

Yeah it's true. Spirituality is not about shunning survival. It's about seeing through it's games, and still taking part in it anyways. The advantage over typical looksmaxxers for some awakened person would be that they don't feel insecure. Looksmaxxing is great for survival. The problem really starts when no matter how much you try, you cannot find yourself beautiful enough to love yourself. Your happiness is more important than your looks, and if you're happiness depends on your looks you need a lot of growing to do. Most looksmaxxers confuse looks with happiness. Looksmaxxing in the most healthy sense can only be achieved when you don't mind being ugly. Paradoxical, this is why nobody does it that way.

I mean it's not fixed that you visit those realms as a human. You could also visit it as a being that enjoys hell. In which case, hell would be heaven while heaven would seem like hell. Wait, so if what's hell is determined by how you absorb any experience, you'd have already experienced hell if you ever suffered deeply, right here on earth.

The Yellow Pipe-Dream

What do you guys think on Authenticity? Why does someone who is authentic attract so many people, good or bad? Are there any costs to authenticity? I know that being inauthentic comes with inner conflict and suffering. Your average person does not see that the benefits of authenticity outweigh the benefits of inauthenticity, why is that? What can cause that shift in clarity?

Just an update here that I am still going strong. Haven't missed a single day. Some stuff has happened but I'll detail everything here when something really significant happens.

@mmKay I live in Delhi, often a contender for the most polluted city on earth. Gotta save up to leave this place first .

Yeah it's quite tricky to explain. People believe it's not even possible, but the mind is capable of imagining it. When you actually get it, it's a big recontextualization into how you perceive space. While thinking of the 4th axis as time is useful to get started, the real goal is to imagine 4 spatial dimensions and how an object- for example a sphere- might move through it. To test myself, I like to imagine a 4D plane and a 3D slice of it being perceived by a being much like humans. Then, I move a sphere- or other shapes- through the 4th dimension, and perceive how it might look within that 3D slice to that being. Then, I go to an actual 4D visualizer software to see whether I got it right, and 8/10 I do. I feel this is more than a simple exercise of the mind. The stark difference between 3D and 4D space actually mirrors quite well how in many aspects of life, we perceive things in a flat manner, when to see a truer picture, we need to add an extra axis. To me, that sudden recontexualization from 3D to 4D actually quite closely resembles that recontexualization you get moving from ego-self to no-self.

You wouldn't try to change your parents. The reason you get along with people when you're awakened is not because you have some otherworldly aura emanating from you that purifies people, rather, it's because your heart is open and you're able to receive everybody where they are at. If you're gonna get frustrated just because your parents don't share the same values as you then you have a long way to go. You're attached to them. Love is different from attachment. In Sanskrit, the words for unconditional love and conditional love are different, प्रेम (Prema) & मोह (Moha). When I look at my parents all I feel is love. I become like them, enjoy life in the way they live it. That's what it is about. It is not about locking yourself in a state that makes you feel like a saint or a monk. I don't rationalize their behaviors, their dysfunctions. There is no such thing as dysfunctions. If you can experience that cosmic love even with those who you were once very emotionally bonded to, you know what's up.

Common Leo W

Has a great series on visualizing 4D. It helped me do it. It's a game changer in the way you think about stuff.

I usually feel like I got forcefully pulled out of another dimension. I don't feel tired though. I think it's just really imaginative and immersive dreams most of the time.

This is just like having heavy metals in your brain except you can't do anything about it.

Hey so this is sort of a continuation of this post I made a year ago: I have now successfully internalized that state somewhat. I do not feel empty and lonely by being the only one, my heart feels full and complete. I am happy, I feel joy, but strangely I am still curious. A feeling that I can go further. The very fact I feel this way, that I need to make this post, means I am missing something, but I don't get it. I need help. Here's how my state is for context: I don't exist and my chest feels full. Existence including my body is filled with joy. We are all one, so there's no we. Existence is perfect and unfolding as it should. It's unfolding and absolutely still at the same time. I feel like a video game playing itself. I am God. Aham Brahmasmi. There's no doubt about it. This joy of being eternal and immortal brings immense joy, but since nobody experiences it, it only multiplies and increases. Here's the problem: This joy brings with itself satisfaction, but I push it away. That's because I once heard somebody talk about how satisfaction on the spiritual path will stagnate you from going further. Is the next step to just let that principle go and be satisfied? How can I then ensure I progress? I don't even know what's next. Do I just deepen this feeling as God?

I appreciate the replies. I have decided to integrate and go deeper with these current states instead of suspecting any further leaps of consciousness. I might make a similar post next year. @Someone hereThat's a good point. I forgot that model was a thing. I'll rewatch that video as well. Thank you.

@Karla That's why I asked you all

I appreciate the replies. But I feel like there is something more. @Leo Gura I'd appreciate it if you have anything to say. I don't know who else to tag... Should I start taking psychedelics? I still think it's too early for me. I am sure they would open a new dimension of depth for me but I'd have to invest time and money to get some which is relatively high for me right now. Plus after watching the dangers of psychedelics video I want to work on my shadow more. Or maybe I should stop being such a pussy about it and get some, I am confused.