caspex

Having a little sister, and regularly observing her play with her friends, has revealed the same thing to me. I'd like to share my experience: There's this kid who is short tempered, impatient, practically a genius, and very selfish. She employs manipulation tactics and all, which is obvious to an adult like me, but just good enough to deceive other kids. There's another kid who's really just slow compared to other kids, in understanding, physical activity and speed of speaking. There's another who's very confident in herself, and unlike others, when the first-mentioned kid tries to manipulate her it almost always fails. She also loves to play pranks, but it will certainly hurt your feelings if you're not integrated. There's another who's very shy and takes no sides. I mean it's a lively bunch, but there are a LOT of fights. Mainly because of the manipulator-kid taking advantage of her louder-voice and other things. So I have to often solve these disputes between the kids, and it has taught me a LOT. Firstly, every kid has a good intention, but they are a copy of the average personality of their family. They are all 7 - 9 year olds and it's only the older ones who have started developing a personality separate from their family. Secondly, the stereotypes we have about certain groups of people is entirely visible in the children. They are the perfect examples of let's say a selfish-prick or a people-pleaser, depending on the kid. But such perfect examples are rare in adults. Thirdly, they are very focused on your tone and choice of words. Way more than the meaning of the words itself. To teach them any sort of nuance, you can't do it through words. You have to get them to experience it, but it's really hard to come up with such scenarios. Finally, it seems to me that their brain is capable of thinking in a sophisticated manner it's just that they can't grasp those sophisticated concepts and use it as a tool in their thinking. Honestly, handling kids reveals to oneself a lot about what they judge, hate and demonize. About what they can't love and what they don't accept. Normally we effortlessly and without awareness, avoid such things due to the way we lead our lives. But with kids, it's unavoidable, which is great opportunity for growth. Adults are great at hiding bad behavior, so you don't have much practice in dealing with it head on, but kids don't know how to hide it, and all their selfishness and tactics are on your face, so... can you still love them?

I do not call someone more than once because I assume either they are busy or want to talk to me later. I think it's actually rare in today's age that the reason someone hasn't picked up is because they didn't notice it. I mean, whether you call someone more than once or not really depends on what kind of relationship you have with that person. The fact that her husband called back and abused you means she felt threatened by you calling her 3 times. If this was the case, then you should take responsibility and accept to yourself that you should have known what kind of relation you had with her, and that it was only appropriate to call her once. Or maybe just message her.

I think it's important in case of something like a dream to determine whether you are passionate about it or not. If you're not really passionate about it then put it lower down your bucket list. But the real question is, how do you know if you're passionate about it or not? I mean we are talking about an old dream. Maybe you just forgot your passion for it, and as you delve deeper into actualizing that dream, your passion will fruit again as it used to be. So it's important that you determine truly whether you have actually lost your passion for it or just forgot about it.

Yes Yellow contains radical forgiveness and the statement that "love and peace can't solve everything" does not contradict it. This is because 'love and peace' in this context is used to refer to what Green would call love and peace. But the version of love and peace of Green is very biased and their viewpoint lack a lot of nuance as compared to Yellow. This is also why they cannot truly forgive 'evil' people, while Yellow can.

By suffering that pain, misery and dysfunction without any resistance. That's what it means to love pain and misery. When you cry for another human being, that's love as well. Love doesn't always feel good because it's not about feeling good to you as a human. Love is truly beyond human. For us as an individual, the line between what is love and what's not is drawn at 'resistance'. But for God, even 'resistance' is simply an experience.

Your gf needs healing, love and growth more than revenge on the guy. Revenge will surely soothe your wounds but it will only be temporary for your girlfriend. The effects caused by such events gain a separate existence apart from the cause (the guy) itself. Cut off the BFF and live a life separate from the brother. Once he is out of her life completely, he is not the problem anymore, it's her wounds, THAT is what you need to defeat. In my honest opinion, some action against the guy, whether physical, legal, or any other way, would be justified if he was a constant or reoccurring problem in her life. Then you should have absolutely fucked him up, if you could. But in your case, from what I have read, this is not the case. You're not a pussy for not fighting him, he's not even the real problem anymore. Anyone who tells you otherwise is narrow-sighted. Chill out and take a deep breath.

Microdose Trip on 5-LEO-DMT:

I haven't researched it but thought about it. It seems it is caused mostly by past dreams and past similar experiences. However, there is that 1% of Deja Vu that has nothing to do with the past. It seems it brings you such sudden intense lucidity that you are almost able to predict the future.

Yes you are correct. I was wrong. Although I still think there's no need to stop using "I/Me/My". If one is getting frustrated by the use of these words it looks to me that one still identifies too much with their relative self.

Have some self-love and let your relative self exist lol. God doesn't need to squash the relative self to be aware of itself.

There is no effort required in integrating Survival and Spirituality together. The distinction between them is artificial. If the nature of your journey is that you live in a cave for years, that's what it is. If your nature directs you to live in society, or live as a teacher, that's how you live. You'd do what your situation requires. The reason someone would go in a mental asylum is not because they did not care about their survival, but that they were reckless and as you said, without guidance. This idea that you need to separately care for 'Survival' is a bias. A bias created so you have an excuse to live the normal life alongside doing spirituality. This idea will hold you back. Just don't be reckless, and pursue what you want to pursue. If you going balls deep in Kriya Yoga requires you living in the forest than so be it, and if the result is that your nature makes you live as a millionaire guru then so be it. It's not that complicated.

There's no need to deal with this fact. This understanding is very enjoyable with the awareness of the love of reality. Isn't it just amazing how everyone you know is just as much a dream as you are? The only being in existence is God, your true self.

If you have awakened from the head, meaning you can comfortably see that reality is impersonal, empty, meaningless, and are completely detached from it, understanding it's all a dream without any substance, then the next thing to do is to awaken from the heart. Develop a pinpoint concentration in your chest, similar to the concentration at the third eye area. Emanate love from the point in your chest once you start feeling that pressure. Emanate more and more, until you realize you can love that point, and that emanation itself, so you detach from the emanation process, and you're loving everything at once from an entirely new dimension. It's a very intense state of love. Then, combine it with your awakening of your head if you haven't already. You'll see that this dream you saw as impersonal has been breathed with life, as if it's one benevolent being, emanating unstoppable love to absolutely nowhere. Now, let your relative self surface and be part of the dream, however, witness how your relative self is so absolutely made of love. If you don't at least have tears in your eyes, you haven't gone deep enough.

I went from forgetful, and anxiety driven to calm, peaceful and relaxed in my voice. I speak at the appropriate pace and crisply when it's a matter of exchange of information, but otherwise my temperament has become much sweeter. My words have gotten much clearer and I speak with a flow now. Sometimes the love is so great, it's hard to not speak to someone like you love them dearly. This does not mean I am not aware of my absolute sovereignty. This freed up my attention to be able to notice how others behave, I'll tell you my observations. I see people being very impatient, trying to find the next interesting thing all the time. Lots of demonization, they are so preoccupied with their life and their selves that they cannot enjoy the present. It's so utterly tragic. It makes me weep. Even kids show signs of such neurotic behavior, I have seen no kid that is peaceful. I sincerely feel that this isn't normal.

It's from a game called Fear & Hunger. The story is crazy good, it really embodies the archetype of "Life is unfair" and "Survival of the Fittest". Not just that but, "Life is out to get you"

Doubting yourself, your process is natural. Just keep trying and trying in new ways, learning from your mistakes, and practicing what works. Don't keep repeating the same thing too many times out of laziness. The only meaningful thing is to not give up, and even when you do, your desires to be better wouldn't let you stay down for too long. For me, it's actually impossible to not pursue spirituality, or general self-growth, I can only take a break. Don't worry about your thinking pattern and all that, just keep pursuing what you want. This resistance in your mind is natural and you'll overcome it as you keep pushing. One day it'll just make sense how to transcend it, but that requires suffering, which will only come from your desire to succeed.

SQAAD, you're pure love. Open up your heart and see how Infinity loves you endlessly. Realize the true nature of reality through your heart, not just your head. That's not enough. Reality loves you so dearly that the only reason it exists is because you want to survive. This whole world, all of infinity is only there for you. It loves you so dearly that it doesn't even have a sense of self, that it's one with you. All of life is of no worry when you understand the indestructible shield that is this reality's love for you. All you have to do is to love it back so dearly that you stop existing as a self just like it has done for you. Dissolve yourself in that love and you'll feel a protection like no other. Open your heart, all of this will make sense. You cannot stop worrying by simply understanding the non-duality of reality through your head. If you only awaken through the head, reality feels like a void and impersonal. That's only half the truth. Awaken through your heart.

You're infinite. What we call delusion is when infinity views itself at a lower resolution/clarity. Escaping Delusion would be simply infinity being infinity at a higher resolution. That's the difference. You are correct that Delusion doesn't exist. This is because Delusion is a blurry line drawn by us humans. For me, the line is drawn at knowing infinity's true nature vs. not. But ofcourse this line is artificial. This doesn't mean all perspectives are at the same level, in terms of resolution.

You cannot know what's truly true and what's false. Those notions are relative. The only thing that can be known to be completely true is infinity/God. In that sense, all understanding of limited forms such as concepts is simply an increase in resolution of the illusion that is that concept. Understanding in context for a limited form is simply illusion at a higher resolution and clarity. The only true understanding is that of Infinity/God, which is simply infinity witnessing itself at a higher and higher resolution.

To open blockages, go to the core/heart/seed of that blockage, quite literally. Keyword is "pure". Example: You feel blockage in your heart, think "Who am I at my purest?" and focus that questions towards your heart. You are trying to find the heart of your heart. Penetrate the blockages like a hot needle falling on a block of butter. Once you feel instinctively you are at that seed, that's it. Meditate on it. That's your true self. Whether this is literally true or not does not matter, what matters is if you feel that way or not. After meditating on it for a while, go even deeper in that seed if you can, and you'll see there's nothing left and what you call the core of your heart has now encompassed everything. To help penetration, you need to soften your heart first. One way is to remember the most meaningful moments of your life, have nostalgia and try to forgive yourself for things your blame yourself. This will only soften your heart, which may itself feel liberating. But remember that goal is to go to that seed. If you cannot transcend the seed and feel your heart encompasses everything, it's enough to simply practice enough to stabilize yourself in that core. If you cry, then you know you are going the right direction. Example 2: For blockages in the solar plexus, focus at the bottom of your diaphram. That's where manipura is. It can be hard at first, so take your time. It's deep in, but you know you have reached it when you realize this is the very core of your body. When you start penetrating it in a similar fashion with your awareness and love, you'll lose your voice, and you'll stop breathing. This is because all these activities are given power by your Manipura. I haven't experimented much with Manipura yet, so I don't know how dangerous it could be. It's exactly the place where I felt anxiety. Example 3: As for the head, you need to work on the traditional "detach from thoughts, personality and ego" and exist as simple awareness. A step beyond into full self realisation would be understanding even this pure witness is illusory and that there is truly no one. What helped me was, in order, "I AM" meditation for a few days then "Neti Neti" Method (which I performed for about 4 -5 hours at night, until I reached my first ever self-realisation at dawn.) Example 4: Gut probably deals with the Swadishthana (Sacral Chakra). I haven't done any work for this chakra so I don't know much. But I'd assume that having a fit body, healthy diet, good self hygiene, acquired good looks(as in you worked for it like having a nice hairstyle, fashion sense and such) and most of all conscious ways of gaining pleasure from life, are indicators of an open sacral chakra. Example 5: I know even less about Vishuddhi (Throat Chakra). All I know is it deals with honesty, integrity and maturity. Once it's free of all blockages and radiating unrestrictingly, you stop self-sabotaging and all procrastination. While unblocking Manipura will get rid of shame and anxiety associated with self-expression, unblocking Vishuddhi enables you to do the expression itself. But creativity doesn't necessarily come from Vishuddhi.

To bring another perspective to the conversation, I want to add that "Bhakti" seems to be essentially energy work. If you do a ritual for a particular deity lasting few hours every day, asking it for healing, help or straight up energy, you do open up your heart center massively. It really depends on the deity. The process is greatly accelerated if you apply teachings of no-self, everything is one, 'there are no distinctions' and such to the ritual. It has helped me easily open up my heart, my solar plexus and even my head. All of it within 40 - 60 days. I am literally a different person after the practice. I also started to have mystical experiences on a regular basis. You also build 'maturity' and 'integrity' automatically. You automatically do 'shadow work' at the same time. This is because you start embodying the qualities of the deity. If, for example, you worship Rama, you embody his qualities of maturity, integrity, humbleness, strength of character, intelligence and other qualities, to the extent you are capable. Rama is literally the ideal man. Let's say you worship Hanumana, you start embodying intense humbleness with physical and internal strength. All of this is to say "Bhakti" is actually an amazing practice that does multiple things at once. And this is leaving out everything about whether these deities actually exist or not or if they physically provide you aid or not, that's a plus if that's actually the case. But it only really works if you truly start believing in the existence of that diety, and that your prayers ARE actually being received by some entity or energy system. 'Bhakti' is way faster than simple meditation, when it comes to embodying higher states of consciousness. Let's say through psychedelics and contemplation you have found a new peak. 'Bhakti' will help your embody that state faster than simple meditation. 'Psychedelics', I think, change the structure of your brain and body to be able to handle high states of energy and consciousness, but when your come off the psychedelic, you are not able to generate that much energy on your own, hence the HUGE gap between the baselines and the peak of a psychedelic user. Bhakti is asking a higher entity to give you it's energy, and it can give you a LOT. But it only gives as much as you can handle. If you have restructured your brain and body to be able to handle high states of energy and consciousness, it's almost guaranteed that the deity will give you so much you'll reach those peak states again, without the psychedelics. But this is only if you are really able to connect to the deity after a few months of practice. It really depends on the deity. It's important to keep in mind, all deities have their own rules you need to follow when you do their upasana. Failure to follow which can have repercussions on your life. The part about psychedelics and bhakti complementing is just my speculation though. I would actually love to see someone who has changes his very structure through psychedelics try genuine bhakti practice. I can't access psychedelics yet, otherwise I'd try this myself.

"How do I know anything?" Truly knowing something means you have become it. Existence is knowing. Let's say you 'know' there is an apple in the next room. But that's not knowledge, that is assumption. Therefore you cannot truly be sure or know it. Let's say the apple is in front of you. You say "The apple is in front of me." do you know that? No! That's an assumption as well. You assume that that's an apple, you assume there's a you, you assume each of the concepts you used in that sentence and various other implicit assumptions. What we call 'knowledge' is a bunch of assumptions, not knowledge. True knowledge means there's no assumption going on. Which is truth. This question arises when one suspects what they know is not really knowing but assumption! True knowing means the existence of experience beyond assumptions. You don't know anything! Because 'knowing' isn't based on truth, it just means 'an assumption I am sure of'. You don't know anything because you can't know anything but only become truth. "Understanding" is simply finding truth. In other words, understanding is God expanding itself.